Oh, Maria, what a triumph for you and your daughter! (And your heroine, as well.) It's wonderful that you've reversed the kind of atmosphere you grew up in, and even found a way to spread that realization to readers as well.

I had no idea I was writing about myself. Granted, I grew up with an over-criticizing mother and a very strict father, and of course I never obsessed about a gorgeous Greek billionaire like my heroine (I wish) and when my daughter came, when I was 42, I thought I nailed the unconditional love, but no... She was diagnosed with high-functioning autism, and I had to fight for her love like I always do. But that fight was worth it, and now that she is five, and our emotional relationship is very healthy, I feel I could take an army. My heroine also found affirmation through her child, not through a man's love. Of course, my story being a romance, they all had their happily ever after. We can do that in books, at least...

Greetings from Greece!
Maria

Carolyn, your mother left you a wonderful legacy -- I'll bet she's tremendously proud of how well you put her teachings to work!

My mother died of cancer when I was sixteen. To this day, just thinking about her causes me to blink back the tears. Being the youngest of five, I felt like the child left behind as my father struggled with his own grief and my siblings surrounded themselves with their spouses and children. I was emotionally stalled between the ages of eleven and sixteen and became the poster-girl for the rebellious sixties. It amazes me that I'm alive today after some of the hair-raising stunts I pulled. It wasn't until after high school and a little bit beyond, that the strong moral compass instilled within me by my staunch Italian/Catholic mother took hold. I've forged on to create a life of which I can truly say I'm proud.

I weathered my father's death shortly after my own wedding, kissed the eyelids of my third child after she died in my arms at three weeks of age and then buried my first husband at the age of 41 after he lost his battle with depression and alcoholism. The worst day of my life thus far, was the day I gathered my four children, ages 8 to 14, to inform them that their larger-than-life, Air Force hero father had died. Watching them suffer... Even as a writer, I can find no words to express the pain.

Not one to show weakness, people call me strong which is a two-edged sword. Resilient people suffer just as much pain as those who melt into a puddle, crumble to the floor and wail before the coffin. People mistake strong individuals as unfeeling people and that couldn't be farther from the truth.

When my brother was killed in a horrific semi truck crash and fire, I gave the eulogy at his funeral and was asked, "How could you do that? How did you keep from crying?" I did it because I loved him so very much. In an effort to console my family and our friends, I brought my memories of his life to life.

I'm proud of myself and continue to find strength under the umbrella of my mother's amazing grace and attempt to cloak and hopefully empower my own children and grandchildren in the same way.

Thank you for the opportunity to share.

Carolyn Toms-Neary

Wow, Angie, talk about a story waiting to be written -- I hope you're doing that whenever you get a free minute. Although there probably aren't a whole lot of those in Paris, are there? 🙂

Wendy, how fun to see you on the class roster and then here as well -- and, who knows, maybe one of these days at a southern-hemisphere conference or two!

In 1988 I sold my Honda Civic for 400 dollars the day I flew to Italy on a one way ticket. The Honda was all I had. I bought a Vespa and have never returned to live in the US. Twenty years later, I had made a niche for myself and had bought all the wordly possessions I ever dreamed of in Italy, including a house on the Tuscan coast. In 2006 I sold it all and moved to Paris, to reconnect with a man I knew from before Italy. Moving to Paris was a bigger jump in the dark because I had a lot at stake and I wasn't young. At first I hated Paris but now am happier than I ever could have been with all those lovely things in Florence.

Kim Hudson ran a workshop at the RWAustralia Conference, several years ago - it was a stunning revelation as I too couldn't figure out in which hand to hold the sword, along with the baby, the marketing while pegging out the washing. Thank you Laurie for the chance to try some practical exercises with the knowledge from the book. See you in class.

PS our latest RWA Conference in Melbourne finished yesterday, and I had the chance to do sessions with Margie Lawson and Angela Ackerman. So please everyone think of joining us sometime down the track, in NZ too. Wendy.