Oh, how cool! I'll go look at his analysis too. I loved this. 🙂

Oh, thank you, Jeanne! Now you're off to rework your first pages, right?

Me too. I'm saving this and comparing it to my first pages in the future.

You know I agree with you, ebedigian.

I wondered about that at first too, Luna. But she doesn't say NYC. It's New York, and a stateline bar, between Connecticut and New York - not New York City. Two reasons, I made the assumption, I think - I'm not from the area, so to me, the State is in my mind as the city, and the reference to the Twin Towers in the first paragraph.

Which points out one more fine point - if people stumble over something, even if you're correct, you're better making it clearer. You don't come with the book when someone buys it, to be able to explain that you're right!

I would, too, Lori!