Comments on: First Page Critique https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/05/first-page-critique-3/ A Blog On Writing Wed, 15 Jan 2025 06:52:45 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.0 By: ? Writing Links Round Up 7/30-8/4 – B. Shaun Smith https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/05/first-page-critique-3/#comment-135837 Mon, 06 Aug 2018 19:24:34 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=33897#comment-135837 […] First Page Critique […]

]]> By: Luna Saint Claire (@Compelled_Books) https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/05/first-page-critique-3/#comment-134125 Thu, 31 May 2018 16:28:02 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=33897#comment-134125 Laura, I love these edits and I agree, it is hard to balance the voice of a child with the narrator. When I first read Sing, Unburied, Sing - Jesmyn Ward's masterpiece, I initially thought the voice of JoJo (a male child of ten if my memory serves) wasn't realistic, even with the use of the word 'ain't'. When I finished the book, I decided the prose was lyrical and lush and it no longer mattered to me that it didn't quite mesh with the child's age or background. How do you balance the lyrical with the realistic? What did you think of Sing?

]]> By: Laura Drake https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/05/first-page-critique-3/#comment-134062 Mon, 28 May 2018 08:58:56 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=33897#comment-134062 In reply to Carolyn Toms-Neary.

Carolyn, you've pointed out a critical point....one of the hardest things to do as an author is to get the reader to know, and root for your character, right on the first page. She did that in spades!

]]> By: Laura Drake https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/05/first-page-critique-3/#comment-134061 Mon, 28 May 2018 08:57:17 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=33897#comment-134061 In reply to jeanne kern.

Aw, thank you Jeanne!

]]> By: Carolyn Toms-Neary https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/05/first-page-critique-3/#comment-134041 Sat, 26 May 2018 16:03:10 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=33897#comment-134041 Can’t wait to share this with MY crit group and again, thank you so much. I love Georgie and hope to do right by her-somebody has to. ?

]]> By: jeanne kern https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/05/first-page-critique-3/#comment-134036 Sat, 26 May 2018 14:14:34 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=33897#comment-134036 In reply to Carolyn Toms-Neary.

Super start, Carolyn. Love Love the basement bugs and the Peter Pan stuff. Wonderful character. And Laura Drake is a Goddess of Edits! Thanks, both of you.

]]> By: Laura Drake https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/05/first-page-critique-3/#comment-134032 Sat, 26 May 2018 09:43:11 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=33897#comment-134032 In reply to amyofhearthridge.

Glad to help, Amy.

]]> By: Laura Drake https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/05/first-page-critique-3/#comment-134031 Sat, 26 May 2018 09:42:45 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=33897#comment-134031 In reply to littlemissw.

Good point, littlemiss - most overwriting is in the beginning, where we're thinking about others reading it. Once we get immersed in the story, that tends to fall away.

]]> By: Laura Drake https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/05/first-page-critique-3/#comment-134030 Sat, 26 May 2018 09:41:45 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=33897#comment-134030 In reply to Shirley Wine.

A good crit group (critters) will do the same for you, Shirley. My advice: if you don't have one, put yourself out there and find one.

]]> By: Laura Drake https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/05/first-page-critique-3/#comment-134029 Sat, 26 May 2018 09:40:29 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=33897#comment-134029 In reply to Christine.

Thanks for reading, Christine - hope it helps with yours.

]]>