Comments on: First Page Critique https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/12/first-page-critique-6/ A Blog On Writing Sun, 12 Jan 2025 06:46:54 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=7.1 By: ? Writing Links Round Up 2/11-2/15 – B. Shaun Smith https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/12/first-page-critique-6/#comment-139075 Mon, 31 Dec 2018 21:39:34 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=35417#comment-139075 […] First Page Critique […]

]]> By: Laura Drake https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/12/first-page-critique-6/#comment-139024 Mon, 31 Dec 2018 10:41:38 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=35417#comment-139024 In reply to Jenny Hansen.

Ohhh, love the analogy, Jenny! You should be a writer! 😉

]]> By: Laura Drake https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/12/first-page-critique-6/#comment-139023 Mon, 31 Dec 2018 10:40:39 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=35417#comment-139023 In reply to apisacano123.

Thanks, Anne. Hope they help!

]]> By: Jenny Hansen https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/12/first-page-critique-6/#comment-139022 Mon, 31 Dec 2018 06:30:54 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=35417#comment-139022 I like how gently you pull this scene from problematic to compelling. It's like sanding down and polishing the wood of the writer's words to bring out the grain.

]]> By: apisacano123 https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/12/first-page-critique-6/#comment-139020 Sun, 30 Dec 2018 17:38:20 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=35417#comment-139020 It is always so insightful to read these one page edits. They are a favorite blog post for me every time!

]]> By: LauraDrake https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/12/first-page-critique-6/#comment-139017 Sun, 30 Dec 2018 09:18:27 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=35417#comment-139017 In reply to Tiffany Yates Martin.

I'm always honored to have your comments, Tiffany. Coming from you, they mean a lot!

]]> By: Tiffany Yates Martin https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/12/first-page-critique-6/#comment-139016 Sun, 30 Dec 2018 03:38:28 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=35417#comment-139016 Terrific observations, as always, Laura. This feature is such a great way to "show, don't tell" what good editing looks like and can do for an author's writing!

]]> By: LauraDrake https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/12/first-page-critique-6/#comment-139009 Sat, 29 Dec 2018 10:47:35 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=35417#comment-139009 In reply to johntshea.

I didn't notice the present tense, John- good catch. The witness paragraph was on the same page. Since it didn't include anything new, I cut it. Thanks for commenting!

]]> By: johntshea https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/12/first-page-critique-6/#comment-139002 Sat, 29 Dec 2018 00:05:19 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=35417#comment-139002 Interesting. I note that the original ends with the present tense sentence:- “Blood pumps rhythmically from two holes directly above his heart.”

The rewrite adds another paragraph about a witness but then critiques it. Was that paragraph on the next page perhaps?

]]> By: LauraDrake https://writersinthestormblog.com/2018/12/first-page-critique-6/#comment-139001 Fri, 28 Dec 2018 22:50:14 +0000 https://writersinthestormblog.com/?p=35417#comment-139001 In reply to Darnell Cureton.

So glad I could help!

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