"me" will never fit in a box for anyone, I don't think. I work on the Venn diagram where the "me" we show is the part of us that matches what the reader loves... the part we are comfortable showing. Maybe over time that becomes more comfortable?

I love your mention of a fireman's carry related to marketing! I think we all would love that. I've met some good marketing folks, but I've never met one who can do as well as the author can. Imagine being lifted by a tiny firefighter. They can get you out, but it is gonna take some time. They're probably gonna drag you. They'll do the best they can, but they don't really know YOU. And if they do, then they've taken a ton of time to develop that relationship... and if you're paying them then that means you're paying for a lot of time up front.

I'm not saying marketing pros aren't worth it. They ARE. But my favorite way to work with them is in consultation where they point out ways you can improve and direct you to maximize your efforts. AND if possible, they use some of their carefully curated connections to open doors.

I really enjoyed the lifting analogy--that really struck me. I took a couple of things from that.

I think I have been so personally stumped with the subject of "me" because I didn't know how to encapsulate that. There are a lot of reasons for that but there are also historical inhibitors old stories and things I've been told that are still hanging about. It's a big hurdle to get over when you have troubles seeing yourself clearly.

I also thought about the way some people approach marketing which is they want to have someone do the equivalent of the fireman's carry for them and that doesn't really work. You don't use your "core" at all which is the true essence of you. In fact, some willingly give it all up to someone else who could carry you in the wrong direction! I'm not saying don't get marketing help. I'm saying that you really do have to find your center before you can get effective help, unless someone is helping you find it (different story altogether). And in some cases, that is the heavy lifting. And by some cases, I mean me. I'm a case.

Ultimately, I'm agreeing with you. I love this. Thank you.

Your husband is a very wise man. And that's it: slow is powerful. People see the sudden spikes (where someone suddenly becomes very visible) and they think that whatever happened there is the key. But from what I've seen those spikes were often caused by the day-to-day little things done over time that paid off all at once. The trick is not to become discouraged during those day-to-day moments.

One is, "get rich slow."
The second is, "a little bit of a lot is a lot."

He held those two sayings close through his entrepreneurial career. They kept him (us) going through the decades of ups and downs. One step at a time.

Oh, Denise! Congratulations!!! Keep at it. Viral doesn't happen right away for most folks. It can take a year or more of content to get your stride. Watch your stats and be yourself. You just made my day!!!

Jenny - hugs. Consistency is a big deal, but it isn't the *only* deal. I teach writers all the time that if you can't be consistent, don't let the stress bother you! You do what you can, and that's enough.

For lurkers: just think what might have happened if you had picked up just a few followers along the way for all of those 8 years...

Jenny - you wouldn't let your clients hurt their business this way. But I will tell you that the best marketing person I've worked with doesn't even take the time to build her own website. Not because she can't... I've seen her do amazing things. Not because she doesn't see the value... because she's built businesses that make a TON of money for her clients. But simply because she's so busy caring for her clients, she neglects herself.

You are not alone. I look forward to seeing what you accomplish in that next year! The good news is that you *do* have a presence and probably a bunch of people who *wish* they could be following you.

I see 2024 as the year to put all these things in place. After cancer, after a household move, and when I finally (finally) have an office. Woo!

Those emotions of self-doubt *may* have a history in the same things that drove you to become a writer. You are unique and special, and yes the "right" people - what I call your fish - are going to LOVE you and they will love the UNIQUE you. You're doing great!

I see too many authors who try to become what they think people love. That is draining and exhausting.

You're doing great!

And I love neurospicy people! You'll find a lot of people who do! It is the "system" that tries to figure out how to smush them into the same mold as everyone else that has a problem. Once we break out of those molds we find that everyone is unique and that is beautiful.

Thank you for the kind words, but I genuinely enjoy these types of questions and conversations.

Thanks Lisa - so helpful, and thank you for your time in answering me specifically. I'm still (always!) amazed when someone seems to like me, or trouble to spend time on me... I think that is what I have to work on too. You're very generous, and that is something you can be proud of.