Crafting Characters Using the 7 Types of Listening
by Jenny Hansen
It's hard to listen in a world like ours. Between phones and socials and the 24/7 television cycle, we live in a fairly overwhelming world. Yet so much value comes to us, and to our characters, if we all take the time to learn the true art of listening.
Listening was so important to me that I took a class on it last year. (The One Philosophy by Nancy Matthews.) It was illuminating on both a writing and a personal level.
What surprised me the most about this course.
While I had a lot of takeaways, the biggest were about listening. Did y’all know there are seven levels of listening? I sure didn’t!
Not only did I have NO idea that there were this many levels of listening, but I also realized my own listening skills needed a lot of work. Just studying the art of listening made an immediate impact on my own communications.
Several things became apparent in the very first week:
- My husband is a better listener than I am.
- My ADD plays a huge role in my listening abilities.
- Practice had immediate (and positive) results.
Once I shined a light on this area of my life, I began to pay more attention to speech patterns, verbal interactions, and my own listening abilities. For instance, I am a terrible listener when I'm tired.
The 7 Levels of Listening
In her class, Matthews talked about the 7 levels of listening, which I believe came from a book by Victor Pierau. Listening includes far more than hearing. There is also:
- Attention
- Attentiveness
- Comprehension
- Engagement
- Comprehension
It was embarrassing to realize that communication is far more complex than I’d ever considered. I'm a writer. I would have figured that knowledge was in my bones. (It wasn't.)
A Summary of the 7 Levels
Below is a breakdown of each level, just to put us all on the same page.
1. Not Listening (aka Ignoring)
Whether it’s due to distraction, preoccupation, or just being tuned out, this person is not receiving or processing any information whatsoever.
2. Pretend Listening (Passive Listening)
This listener is giving an illusion of attention – usually through nodding or saying “uh-huh” – but they are mentally disengaged.
I’ve seen this hundreds of times with busy moms. I’ve likely been that busy mom. Because it’s excruciatingly hard for an overly-busy brain to tune in for a 6 year-old’s five minute story that takes half an hour. (That magical ability is reserved for grandparents.)
3. Partly Listening (Selective Listening)
Your attention is divided. Bits and pieces come through, but it’s like listening to the radio where you only alert to whatever catches your interest. A listener is likely to misinterpret, or miss details altogether.
4. Focused Listening with Undivided Attention (Attentive Listening)
We’re halfway through and this is the first time a listener has been fully present. Concentrating. Focusing on the speaker’s words with no distractions.
This type of listening actively focuses on the message a speaker is communicating, but it is about absorbing, rather than responding. Pierau still considers this type of listening to be passive.
5. Interpretive Listening (Understanding Beyond Words)
A listener is looking for the meaning behind the words, and interpreting the speaker’s intent and emotions. They’re looking for context, tone, body language – all in an effort to discover the deeper meaning.
This is how a writer looks at language, but this isn’t how the everyday listener listens.
6. Interactive Listening (Responsive Engagement)
This is where a good conversation falls. The listener is actively engaged with the speaker – asking questions, giving feedback, clarifying what they heard. This kind of conversation is thoughtful on both sides.
7. Engaged Listening (Empathic and Transformational Listening)
This is where a great conversation falls. This is the highest level of listening, and should definitely be used for important scenes like those turning point conversations in your story,
This listener is deeply involved. They understand what the speaker is saying in terms of words and emotions. In turn, they are showing their own empathy and connection. They are tangibly demonstrating their commitment to the speaker’s words.
Note: For many people, this kind of conversation is exhausting.
They’d give this to their best friend, or the someone they valued beyond all others. But their co-worker would never get this kind of immersion.
Engaged listening has far-reaching benefits.
Engaged listening is relationship-building listening. Especially if you are writing emotional stories, these are conversations that make your reader believe in your characters’ emotions.
Why?
1. Trust. This is the #1 benefit of this kind of connection. These two people have given their all to each other, and that forms a bond.
2. Mutual understanding and connection. You see this with long-time friends or partners. They can practically finish each other’s sentences. They’re completely tuned in to one another and it shows in their conversations.
3. Intimacy. There is an intimacy that comes from this kind of deep connection. This kind of conversation gives a “safe space” for the speaker to share their true thoughts and feelings. It gives the speaker permission to be vulnerable.
Final Thought
I don't know whether I've properly expressed what an impact that class had on me.
I think about listening more. I try harder to be good at it. And it opened up all sorts of opportunities on the page -- from my characters' actual words, to body language, to the effect of differing listening skills on a relationship. It's been an enlightening (and humbling) journey.
Do you feel like you're a good listener? Is there a particular level of listening you like to write for your characters? Who is the best listener in your life? We'd love to hear about them down in the comments!
* * * * * *
About Jenny
By day, Jenny Hansen provides brand storytelling, LinkedIn coaching, and copywriting for accountants and financial services firms. By night, she writes humor, memoir, women’s fiction, and short stories. After 20+ years as a corporate trainer, she’s delighted to sit down while she works.
Find Jenny here at Writers In the Storm, or online on Facebook or Instagram.
Top photo created in Canva.
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26 comments on “Crafting Characters Using the 7 Types of Listening”
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Jenny, I never knew I was missing so much! Thank you for this article. Would you allow me to share this post or parts of it with my newsletter readers? I would include a link to this article or your webpage if you like. I'm preparing to send two newsletters about the words we say. It would be a good follow-up to those articles. My newsletters go out to readers in their 60s, 70s, and 80s. You can check out my posts at debrichmond.com. Thanks for considering.
Thank you. This really is food for thought...and in both writing and life.
Thanks, Moya! I agree. 🙂
Wow. I feel like I've just had a full-on counselling session, and was finally made aware of my racing brain (& mouth which follows suit!)
Knowledge is power. I can let ppl i spend time with that my way of listening and responding is about my rampant enthusiasm, not self absorption, and meantime try out these clever tips. Thanks Jen, and all who've bravely responded here x
Thanks, Deb! We always appreciate people sharing and linking back to our posts.
I have noticed that my older relatives love to get to tell their stories to any of the younger generation who will listen, and care about those stories of their lives.
Being a better listener was my New Year's resolution this year!
This is an excellent post! I've never thought about incorporating these into my writing, but I have created a couple of characters who aren't good listeners. One of the funniest stage plays I've ever read is where the characters talk over each other rarely listening and definitely not hearing one another. A great vehicle for comedy.
Thanks, Ane! That play sounds wonderful. I think there's a ton of humor, as well as tons of conflict, that can come from differing listening skills.
A wonderful post, Jenny, thank you. I almost had a minor in communications in college, a discipline I didn't discover until I was long into my studies. Oh how I loved it. This was an excellent refresher.
Personally, as an INFJ personality type, I crave, but seldom have the opportunity to engage in, empathetic listening. I at last published my first novel, and I think I probably used almost every step on your fantastic list.
The intimacy and caring that comes with empathetic listening tugs at the heart, but selective listening, for instance, can provide tension for so many reasons, like missing key details in a conversation or two people "talking past" each other in an argument. In a way, this list parallels the stages of a romance. Most relationships I write bounce around the list, and there's always conflict when one person is most comfortable at a different level than the other person.
Exactly! That's exactly how I planned to use it. Incidentally, I'm an ENFJ. 🙂
I think it's fabulous that you had some communication classes. I didn't, and I've always regretted that.
Listening skills are something I was taught as a nurse. Not through a class like yours but subtly and not labeled in various courses. I try to be a good listener but I am guilty of preoccupation often. (An occupational hazard for writers?) I do use many of those types of listening in my stories but some not very often. So thanks Jenny,for the reminder and motivation to step it up in my life and my writing.
I think you know I grew up with nurses, and they were all wonderful listeners. Bless all the nurses!
I suppose these different levels, the last 3 in particular, might get reflected in dialogue. From my experience, #6 is normally assumed (by the reader) unless some other level is signalled by the author.
I hear you, Matthew. I like to play with the levels a bit for characterization. And I agree...being able to indicated the level through the character's dialogue and body language is where the magic happens.
If you enjoy learning about listening, you will likely enjoy NVC communications. It takes that level of listening further into communications that will make disagreement something that isn't adversarial. It's brilliant and also comes in the form of a simple list. It's called Nonviolent Communication. They too have seminars. The basics can be found on line.
Thanks, Karen! I'll look up NVC Communications. I'm all about connection through conversation. 🙂
What a great article! Loved hearing how it was personal to you, too. Like you, my listening could use some improvement. I'm learning I don't have to respond to everything--so hard to contain!
It's been good to learn in adulthood how my lower level ADD impacts conversation. My husband is so smart about this kind of thing, and he had an amazing insight when we talked about all this listening business.
He told me, "I've realized that sometimes you interrupt me when you're tired and I think it's because your focus goes. But sometimes you blurt because, if you don't get the train of thought out, you lose it in the abyss.
"Knowing that means I don't take it personally. You're not being disrespectful, you're jumping in to let me know you hear me."
Let me tell you, I felt SO SEEN.
Thank you so much for this.
I had a life-altering four-and-one-half-day learning experience in 1980. There were a lot of takeaways. But the first one on which the others depended had to do with the idea that listening is a lot more than waiting to respond. It has more to do with assuming value and being active in understanding not only the denotative, declarative message but also the connotative, emotional context and intent of the speaker. That program, which I think of often, has done more for my communication and my quality of life than any other single event.
My protagonists tend to be good listeners or to pay for it when they're not. The listener from whom I have learned the most is dyslexic and depends on active listening since reading is so difficult for him. What a model!
Good active listeners are a rare breed in my experience, but they stand out, and they make great friends and companions. Good listeners, it seems to me, often have interesting things to say as well.
Hi Bob! Your 1980 seminar sounds amazing. Thanks for sharing your experience!
Wow, this hit a nerve! Now do "talking," for those who batter our ears to death with more words than exist in the OED. LOL! Thanks for the listening lesson, Jenny. I will work on it!
I've been working on it since November. Totally worth it! Thanks for your comment - I really appreciate it.
I think I'm a good listener. Friends have told me I am.
That's an amazing gift, Denise.
Wow. I feel like I've just had a full-on counselling session, and was finally made aware of my racing brain (& mouth which follows suit!)
Knowledge is power. I can let ppl i spend time with that my way of listening and responding is about my rampant enthusiasm, not self absorption. Thanks Jen and all who've posted here x
You are so welcome, Jay! A busy brain is a blessing AND a curse. It helps with things like writing and teaching, but it unknowingly tramples on the introverts in our lives.
So glad you feel seen, Jay! You and I would get on like like2 peas in a pod.
I love your comments about listening and being fully engaged. Most of us have varying listening abilities. I too learned to listen much better while studying for my Person Centred
Counseling course. (Carl Rogers). Listening also actually tests out if you have respect for others, empathy and genuineness. Anything less than these attributes makes one a poor counselor and you cannot pretend at all!
Author of Blow Me Over With a Feather