I mostly write 3rd person omniscient. It works for me because I tend to have an ensemble cast of characters. I an ensemble each character is competes with others for ‘development space.’ What I do is differentiate between “thinking” and “reacting.”

So, one will be the POV character in a chapter or scene, but one (or sometimes, rarely two) will have a short internal gut reaction, set apart through use of italics. These are not full blown acts of thinking; these are more equivalent to physical gut reactions —e.g., Janet’s jaw dropped, Jack whistled, Helen shook her head. These are the thoughts that suddenly pop fully formed into your head but you will not say—e.g., “oh, shit!” “It can’t be true!” or “Of course! I should have known!”

Normal other practices must still be in place. These type gut reactions must occur in separate paragraphs clearly identifying the character reacting. But readers can quickly and easily see these are that character’s reaction, without confusing the over the scene or chapter’s POV character.

Thanks for having me ;).

Thanks for reading, Denise!

I can see why some people don't like it; it takes more work to flesh out each viewpoint character, and when it comes to reader engagement, you run the risk of the reader connecting less with one narrator and not being as "into" those scenes. But the pros far outweigh the cons, imo.

You can always experiment by changing the tense for just one chapter, and see what you think. Good luck!

It sounds like you're doing all the right things. In terms of thoughts and self-talk, this is going to tie strongly into the character's voice. The way they talk should be reflected in their thoughts—the speech patterns, what they notice, etc. But like you said, they'll also focus on the things they wouldn't say out loud: fears, insecurities, worries, weaknesses, etc. So I would say to focus on the voicey part—what they sound like when they talk—and incorporate that into their internal dialogue.

My current WIP is a fantasy romance, third in a series. Previously I've stuck with one POV, first person and past tense, but for this current story I'm finally going to include the other MC's POV too. My initial thought was to have the second MC's sections in present tense (he's not fully human, and his grasp of time is a little... fuzzy) but thought it would be jarring to read since the main narration (and bulk of the story) is in past tense. But this article has me reconsidering that maybe it's worth a try after all. Thanks so much, Becca!