By Janice Hardy
@Janice_Hardy

A shallow scene keeps readers from diving into the story.

Years ago, when I was editing my debut novel for my agent (The Shifter for those curious), I struggled to fix a few weak areas in the beginning. I kept looking at ways to make it more.

More exciting. More tense. More mysterious.

But it kept getting less interesting.

After a few back and forths with ideas and outlines, my agent and I got on the phone to hash out directions to go. I suggested even more “more” ideas, then she stopped and dropped the best advice she ever gave me.

“Don’t go wider—go deeper.”

My problem was, I kept trying to add “stuff” to the story when the story was working overall. It was just a few scenes here and there that needed tweaking. Adding things that didn’t support what I’d already written didn’t work.

It wasn’t until I started drilling down into my themes, my premise, and my scenes that I found the right path to take to fix my “needs a little work” beginning. That path led to a three-book deal with Harper Collins, so I’m glad I listened.

“Going deeper” is all about pulling out the good stuff in your story.

It’s digging into the characters’ emotions, their goals, their fears, their hopes and dreams, and then taking advantage of it to make their lives miserable. Until you give them that happy ending of course. We’re not monsters (unless we write horror, then that’s a perk).

We all want rich scenes that grab a reader, so here are five ways to go deeper with your scenes and provide those extra layers of awesome.

1. Use Subtext to Suggest Things Unsaid

What a character isn’t saying is often more fascinating than what’s being said. Your subtext can not only add interesting layers to a scene, but can also help with description. The character’s body language and gestures will mean something, and won’t be an empty smile or brush of the hair.

• Are your characters avoiding a topic of conversation?
• Is there additional meaning lurking under a conversation they are having?
• Does their body language not match what they’re saying?
• Are you suggesting there’s more to what’s going on than the obvious?

If your characters are upfront and 100% honest all the time, you’re missing chances to create tension, mystery, and conflict in that scene.

2. Drop Hints of Things to Come (or Things Hidden)

Hide clues in plain sight, so when they become important later, readers have already seen them. For example, you might know that vase in the foyer is the key to who killed Grandma, so a simple moment when Cousin Joe bumps into it and it clinks is all you need to suggest there’s something inside that vase. The reveal of the hidden key at the end will feel inevitable and surprising instead of out of the blue, and you’ll look like a genius.

It’s also a great way to bring your setting and world into the action, and avoid infodumps and heavy descriptive passages.

• Can you drop any odd comments into conversations?
• Can anyone discover strange things?
• Can clues be sitting on shelves or desks and be part of the general “room description” with no special focus on them?
• Can the characters interact with something in a benign or causal way that they’ll need later on?

Looking at what’s in a scene and what the characters use is also a useful way to take what’s already there and give it more meaning later. For example, if you need a weapon in Chapter Fourteen, show the protagonist near or using a garden trowel in Chapter Three.

3. Use the Setting Instead of Just Walking Through it

There’s a lot of inherent conflict in a setting, as well as thematic opportunities. The right setting can change a character’s emotions, which can make them behave differently or make mistakes they ordinarily wouldn’t. If you need to knock a character off-kilter, the right setting could be a way to do it.

• Are you putting the characters in the worst possible place for something to happen?
• Is there a better setting that adds to the theme or makes an internal conflict harder?
• Does the setting foreshadow anything?
• How does the setting emotionally affect the characters?

If your scene could happen anywhere and nothing in it changes, then it’s not serving your story as well as it could.

4. Embrace All the Senses, Not Just Sight and Hearing

Creating a rich and vibrant scene puts readers in that scene, and gives you a chance to write something beyond the same old vanilla lines we all use. For example, smell is connected to memory, and memories can evoke emotions, so it’s a handy trigger if you need your character to remember something at the right time. Textures can also add a whole layer to a character struggling to find their way in the dark.

• What smells might add to the scene?
• Do any trigger a memory?
• Is there food to taste?
• What interesting textures are there to touch?
• Can one sense suggest the opposite of what the rest of the senses are saying?

Don’t forget to look at the whole scene and imagine how a character might experience it. Unusual descriptions from non-typical senses bring originality to the story and the writing.

5. Make Connections to the Rest of the Novel

Scenes shouldn’t happen in a vacuum, and they’re stronger when they connect to other moments in the story. This is particularly useful when plotting, and can make the novel feel tight and well-crafted. Maybe that throwaway line could be a clue, or a walk-on character might play a bigger role, or a secret has farther-reaching consequences that expected.

• What scenes might mirror another scene or event?
• Can you make a casual comment link back to something that suggests it’s not casual at all?
• Are there any details that shed light on a character’s past?
• Can you combine any minor characters into one that influences the story?

After your first draft is done, look at the little details, throwaway lines, and small moments in your story and see if any would work well together. If you have any plot holes you need to fill, or subplots to create or flesh out, these little details and moments could be the perfect fix.

It doesn’t take a lot of work to craft a rich scene. Even a few lines can add depth and provide new layers of interest for your readers.

How deep do you go in your scenes? Do you have examples of places where an author dove to the perfect level of "deep?"

* * * * * *

About Janice

Janice Hardy is the award-winning author of the teen fantasy trilogy The Healing Wars, including The Shifter, Blue Fire, and Darkfall from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. She also writes the Grace Harper urban fantasy series for adults under the name, J.T. Hardy.

When she's not writing fiction, she runs the popular writing site Fiction University, and has written multiple books on writing, including Understanding Show, Don't Tell (And Really Getting It), Plotting Your Novel: Ideas and Structure, and the Revising Your Novel: First Draft to Finished Draft series. Sign up for her newsletter and receive 25 ways to Strengthen Your Writing Right Now free.