Dialogue in fiction stories is a reliable way of bringing characters to life and immersing readers in their lives, but for it to be effective, it needs to be understood. As Michel de Montaigne said in his essay, On the Art of Conversation, “The most fruitful and natural exercise of the mind … is conversation.” It stimulates thinking, engages facial expressions and has the magic to convey complex ideas to others. In fact, we were communicating verbally long before we decided to write down ideas.
Engaging conversations that add value to narration, need to:
Dialogue definition - For the purposes of fiction, it is any words that are spoken aloud by a character, which support what is going on in the plot.
It doesn’t include private thoughts, dreams or narration.
It’s important that readers can easily determine who is speaking, so they can follow the conversation and don’t get the wrong impression of what’s going on in the story. Ambiguity can lead to misinterpretation, but this can be prevented by:
The dialogue (and attached narration) for one character must be put into a separate paragraph.
Dialogue tag definition – The words that frame dialogue (just before, in the middle of or after it), which identify the speaker and provide context for what’s being said.
Here are some tips for using dialogue tags effectively:
“How dare you,” Jane said indignantly. [‘Indignantly’ is the adverb, which is telling readers how this character feels.]
“How dare you!” Jane snapped, a tide of angry red rising up her neck and cheeks. [‘Snapped’ is a stronger verb that tells readers how Jane spoke, and then I’ve added a description of what her physical reaction looks like to the Point of View character.
You can also use thoughts, actions, body language, facial expressions and thoughts by the Point of View character in the surrounding narration, to not only make it clear who is speaking, but how they feel about it and what else they’re doing. For example:
“Um, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” His face flushed and gaze darted towards the exit.
“Like hell,” Jane said, stalking towards him with clenched fists.
Of course, things become more complicated when there are three or more characters participating in a conversation. When there’s a crowd:
Dialogue should only be joined to a tag with a comma if the tag is something that can actually be said, e.g. he said, she whispered, he yelled, she mumbled.
“Hey, Dan, wait up a minute,” Jenny called as she jogged across the oval. [‘Called’ is something spoken.]
If the tag can’t be said, then you must use a full stop to separate them, e.g. he grunted, she waved, he chewed on his lip, she glanced around the room.
“Gosh, I didn’t expect to see you here.” Dan stopped walking and smiled. [‘Stopping’, ‘walking’ and ‘smiling’ aren’t something that can be spoken.]
The punctuation related to dialogue goes inside the quotation marks, except when em dashes are used like brackets for non-spoken narrative that breaks dialogue (see the example below), or the tag is situated before the dialogue.
Tag before – Sally called across the oval, “Hang on a minute, Dan.”
Tag after – “Hang on a minute, Dan,” Sally called across the oval.
Tag in the middle – “Hang on a minute, Dan,” Sally called across the oval. “I need to talk to you.”
Tag in the middle – “Hang on a minute,” Sally called across the oval, “I need to explain.”
When dialogue commences at the beginning of a sentence, captialise it, even if there was a tag before it.
“A snake just slithered behind the shed.”
Sally said, “A snake just slithered behind the shed.”
Tags that are joined to dialogue with a comma because they can be spoken, are not capitalised unless they are a proper noun; even if the dialogue ends with an exclamatioin or question mark.
“A snake just slithered behind the shed,” said Sally.
“A snake just slithered behind the shed,” Sally said.
“A snake just slithered behind the shed. What do you think we should do?” said Sally.
When quoting someone within dialogue, use a different style of quotation mark, e.g. if you’re using double quote marks, then change to single, or if you’re using single quote marks, change to double.
“Look, I specifically heard Mum say, ‘Don’t go to that party,’ and you still went.”
‘Look, I specifically heard Mum say, “Don’t go to that party,” and you still went.’
“I just can’t believe I forgot to bring it,” Sally said. “I even wrote a note to remind me.”
“I just can’t believe I forgot to bring it,” Sally said, “after writing a note and everything.”
“I just can’t believe I fogot to bring it,” —Sally was flustered as she searched her handbag for the offending envelope— “after writing a note and everything.
“[Paragraph of dialogue that will continue in the next paragraph has no closing quotaion marks.]
“[Each subsequent paragraph of dialogue has opening quotation marks.]
“[The final paragraph of dialogue has closing quotation marks.]”
“Hi Sally, it’s great to see you.”
“You too Jane. How has your week been?”
“Fabulous, Sally.”
“Hi Jane. As you know I’m a horse-riding instructor and got my certificate in 2015. What do you do for a living?” [Awkward. People just don’t talk to one another like that.]
But look at the same information revealed using a more conversational tone:
Jane picked up the photo of a younger Emily atop an impressive black horse. “Wow, I didn’t know you rode.”
“For years.” Emily said. “Actually, I’m a riding instructor. Got my certificate just last year. What do you do for a crust?”
I recommend authors use double quotation marks (“) no matter where they are planning to submit their work, because it provides flexibility.
It’s easy to use the Find and Replace function to replace all double quotation marks with singles. However, if you have used single quotation marks, the Find feature will pick up all of the apostrophes too, so you’ll have to manually change each one. Tedious!
Your fiction stories will ultimately benefit from succinct, purposeful, authentic and well-formatted dialogue, because those things enable readers to easily understand what’s being said, by whom. They also bring the narrative to life by immersing readers in characters’ lives and moving the plot forwards.
If you are stuck in a rut of writing novels you never finish, never submit or aren’t sure how to fix, then it’s your lucky day. I’m offering WITS readers the opportunity to get professional guidance about the next best steps to move their writing forwards, from an industry professional.
Book a time in Sandy’s diary here.
What dialog punctuation problems have you encountered? How did you solve it?
* * * * * *
Sandy Vaile is a traditionally published author, writing romantic-suspense for Simon & Schuster US, with more than a decade of experience in the industry, who empowers authors to write novels they are proud to share with the world (and which get noticed by agents, publishers and readers), through coaching, courses and developmental editing.
Sandy is also a motorbike-riding daredevil who isn’t content with a story unless there’s a courageous heroine and a dead body. Living in the McLaren Vale wine region means lots of prosseco and cheese platters in her down time.
Connect with Sandy Vaile on her website or social media.
Top image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay
Dialog Formatting sheets by Sandy Vaile
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Fantastic post. I've done workshops on dialogue, and you've hit everything (and more) here.
When I was with a book club, I commented on the book we'd read, that the author's using more than one person in someone's dialogue paragraph was driving me nuts, and more than one of the group was totally unaware of that "rule". Readers don't read like authors.
When I was first learning the craft, if I had more than two people in a scene, I'd send one for coffee, or to the bathroom, or anywhere to get around keeping track of who was saying what. I've learned a lot since then, but I still have to watch those "group conversations" to make sure speakers are clear.
Thank you Terry, I'm glad you found the article valuable. Dialogue is something my clients often struggle with.
You are so right. Readers don't pay attention to all of the minutiae us authors fuss about.
Group conversations are definitely the trickiest. I try to keep the number of people who are interacting to a minimum. Often we throw "extras" in when they don't really contribute anything important.
Have fun with your writing, Terry.
Thank you for sharing this, Sandy. The habit of some self-published authors to use words you can't speak as dialogue tags drives me crazy! But you are correct, readers don't notice those things. My own reader husband never thought that was a problem until after we married and he overheard me ranting at a book. lol
I love that you've been training your hubby, Lynette.
Even though readers don't worry so much about correct formatting and other things writers do, I believe it still affects their reading enjoyment.
These style guidelines are in place to make our writing (and dialogue) clear, so readers understand the meaning we want to convey, and to avoid confusion, which detracts from their focus on the story.
Happy writing.
Glad to have learned most of these rules in elementary school.
You are lucky, Denise. I'm not sure if they still teach them or if people forget over time, but they don't come easy to many writers.
Thankyou, Sandy!
Bookmarking and sharing for reference.
Kris
Glad you found this information useful, Kris.
I love to bookmark handy articles too. It's easy to think we have something down pat ... until we go to apply it in our stories, and need a refresher.
Excellent. It's an area I struggle with and I use a lot of dialogue in my short stories.
I love lots of dialogue in stories, Eamon.
I'm glad this article was helpful. Keep it bookmarked and you can always refer back to it, and if you ever get stuck with anything, I'm always happy to help via a message on social media or my website @FearlessProse.
Thanks, great advice. Dialogue tags aren't my strong suit, so I tend to avoid them.
Do you mind if I link to this article from my blog?
Hi Jean,
You're not alone in dialogue tags giving you grief. The most common issue is knowing whether to join them to tags with a comma or full stop.
You are most welcome to link back to this article, and drop me a line if you ever get stuck with a tricky dialogue dilemma, on social media or my website @Fearlessprose
Thanks for reading.
Thank you!
Really, an excellent, excellent article!
I’m glad to say I already do the many things you explain here, although I’m not sure when and where I actually learned them. Much like my vocabulary, I don’t know how many of the rarely spoken words I recall just pop into my head when needed.
However, within critique groups I attend, one or two have questioned me on my placement of punctuation in my dialogue, and I’ve always assured them these were the accepted proper practices. Now, I’m saving a link to your article on my cellphone, so I can email it to them. However, I feel it’s a good read even for those like myself who may get it right, but appreciate the sound affirmation.
You are too kind, Jerold, and I am thrilled that you are happy to share this article.
You sound like me in that a lot of my grammar and punctuation must have been learned through reading osmosis (or maybe back in the dark ages that taught that kind of thing in school and I actually remembered some of it).
My clients often struggle with dialogue formatting because there are so many different situations to consider, so hopefully having the information in one place will help many.
Happy writing.