I chose this entry to crit this month because, at its core, it sounds like an interesting story, and it could be a compelling beginning. But it's buried in adjectives, adverbs and asides. I can tell this author slaved over this. But believe it or not, we can try too hard.  Black = original Red = […]

Margie Lawson Hmm…  Cold hard stare. Have you read that descriptor before? Maybe more than once? More than a dozen times? What about variations on these lines: She narrowed her eyes to slits. His eyes popped open as wide as saucers. She scowled. He arched a sardonic eyebrow. What happens when readers read phrases or […]

I first learned about the 12 Stages of Physical Intimacy from Linda Howard, who used to give a very popular talk on the subject based on the work of Desmond Morris, Intimate Behavior: A Zoologist's Classic Study of Human Intimacy. On the downside, Linda has stopped giving this workshop. On the upside, she has spoken […]

I took one acting class in college. In addition to discovering I didn't want to pursue drama, but simply storytelling, I learned some of the challenges of portraying a character's persona to an audience just beyond the stage. One tidbit was my takeaway that you need something to do with your feet, your hands, your […]

This is a true story:  I looked out my window this morning, as I always do while drinking my breakfast protein shake. In the heavier than usual wind, the prayer flags flapped loudly. Through the narrow gaps of brightly-colored material I saw a profusion of blooming tropical flowers. Behind them, a mermaid sat on her […]