Writers in the Storm

by James R. Preston

”Left, James, swing left!”

I pushed off and swung left just as a boulder the size of a refrigerator hurtled down the cliff toward me.

One of the principles of adult training is called the WIIFM, which is an acronym for What’s In It For Me. It’s fair for you, reading this essay, to ask that question, and I think I should answer it before I tell you what happened with the boulder. 

Why should you, as a writer, pay attention to gaming?

Well, first, it’s a big part of the entertainment world. How big? Last year the revenue generated by video games was more than that of books, movies, and music combined. That’s right — combined. Grand Theft Auto V has raked in more than three times what Avatar has earned. Three times.

Anything that important that relies on story for its success is worth some study on your part, and the big games have that in common — a good story. 

The stories good games rely on are insanely complex.

 Here’s a brief synopsis of Half-Life, one of the simpler adventure games. Your name is Gordon Freeman and you’re a physicist working in a secret lab buried deep underground In the desert somewhere. 

One morning you are assigned to test a sample; everything goes wrong and there’s a dimensional tear that allows creatures from somewhere else to enter our world. Many of your colleagues are killed or injured. 

One of the survivors begs you to get to the surface and get help. So far, an ok story, not particularly unique. Just wait . . . Getting to the surface is difficult but it’s only the beginning of your problems. The story has humor and interesting characters. For example, one of the scientists in the Men’s’ Room asks you to throw him some toilet paper because his stall is out. Hint if you play the game: it’s good to help him. 

From there on it gets complicated.

Classes of Games

Let’s look at the different kinds of modern computer games. One kind is valuable for writers. 

Regular games moved to the screen. 

 Chess and checkers can be played online against a human opponent or against the computer. While they can be fun, they’re not what we’re going to talk about because they have no story. 

Simulations 

 Do you want to drive an 18-wheeler or fly a jet? Try American Truck Simulator or Microsoft Flight Simulator. Again, interesting, and I am a fan of American Truck Simulator, but they’re not the subject of this essay either.

Adventure or Role-playing 

 Ok, these are the games we’re interested in. Examples include Half-Life, Skyrim, Red Dead Redemption, and Grand Theft Auto V. All the best games in this genre are popular because they have a good story. This kind of game is what the scientists on The Big Bang Theory play. Typically, you’re dropped into a world and given a quest, a problem to solve.

These games are First-Person Shooters (FPS), Third-Person, or a combination of the two. 

The game creators constantly must answer the dreaded, “What happens now?” It’s possible to learn from their examples. Three things I’ve learned are listed below. (I know, I know, that boulder is still rushing toward me. We’ll get back to it.) 

Number One: the Boss Fight

In gamer talk that’s the battle with the last, most powerful enemy. It always comes last. Studying how problems are arranged in games can help you when you are deciding what comes next. In all good games — and in your stories — the biggest problem is solved last. 

In the movie version of Goldfinger James Bond fights Oddjob, but that can’t be the end of the story because he must deal with Goldfinger himself. That’s the Boss Fight and it comes last. 

When you think about conflict, whether it’s battling a martial arts expert or the heroine deciding to trust the mysterious stranger, the big fight has to come last, and ideally each fight or decision leading up to it is harder than the one before. 

Number Two: the Sherpa

Meanwhile, back at the cliff face, I’m still hauling myself up while my Sherpa Logan, who has made it to the top and didn’t even have the decency to make it look hard but I’m not holding it against him, at least not much, coaches me. Writing is not easy. Most of us can benefit from advice. In gaming talk that’s somebody who knows the ropes (LOL, reference back to the cliff) and who is willing to help newbies. 

By reading this blog you’re already on the right track. If you decide to follow my suggestion and spend some time gaming, look for someone who has experience, who is a bit farther down the writing road than you are. One of my sherpas was an LAPD officer and talented writer named Paul Bishop, author of Citadel Run among other police stories. His comments as we went over the opening to my second thriller are still things I keep in mind. Side Note: he wanted to illustrate a point about firearms, reached down into his boot top and pulled out a small revolver. Yes, it’s true: I’ve had a reviewer pull a gun on me. 

Number Three: Details 

The folks who create games — if they are good — put a great deal of time into accuracy. The people who created Mount and Blade studied and practiced sword fights so they would get the moves down right. You can find videos of their training on You Tube. If you are writing anything with that kind of combat, you would do well to take a look. As with studying simulations, always double-check your facts. 

Ok, the boulder.

I pushed off from the cliff face, it missed me and with Logan’s help I made it to the top. That’s an example of a common misconception about gamers. Most modern games are team efforts, with groups from four players on up trying to work together to solve the problem or win the battle. 

I was playing a sword-and-sorcery game with Logan and his brother Chase. We were jumped by a gang of ogres and, while I won my fight, I was separated from my teammates and hopelessly lost. I heard Chase say, “I’ll go back and get James. I know where he is.” It’s a cooperative effort. 

What’s Next, or a few Suggestions. 

 If I have persuaded you to take on an adventure game, I have some suggestions, specific games that have something to offer. 

Half-Life

 A classic. One that a newbie (that’s you) can master given time. It’s linear; you solve one problem and move on to the next. There’s no going back. There are sequels that carry the story forward. 

Red Dead Redemption 

 Welcome to the old west. Think Fistful of Dollars. It’s new, detailed and very interesting. This is an example of an open world game in which you can go wherever you want. One lady, writer for the LA Times, logs on goes fishing. She finds it very peaceful. 

Grand Theft Auto V

 The fifth iteration of this epic is a huge seller. While it has a great backstory, I’m hesitant to recommend it because the language is really really raw. You have been warned. 

Fallout

A post-apocalypse world filled with, well, just about everything. In this one you get to select the traits of your character, which is not a bad way to think about your own creations. How persuasive are they? Are they strong?

• Put the most important and hardest fight or decision last.
• Find a sherpa to give you advice and help you along the way. 
• Use games for details but exercise caution and verify everything. 

 If you have an interest in checking out this form of entertainment, a good place to start is www.steam.com

Steam sells games, but they also have reviews, samples, and frequent sales so you can try out a game at a reasonable price. And if you study the reviews, you’ll see that games with good stories get good reviews. As we say so often here on WITS, story matters.

So that’s it.

These are the gems I got out of games that helped my writing, and that I believe can help yours, too. At the very least it’s a break, a different way to study that which we are all devoted to -- the story. Good luck and may your health points always regenerate fast. 

Now it’s your turn. Have you played any of these games? Was it worthwhile? Please share any games you love that I missed down in the comments!

About James

James R. Preston is the author of the multiple-award-winning Surf City Mysteries. He is currently at work on the sixth, called Remains To Be Seen. His most recent works are Crashpad and Buzzkill, two historical novellas set in the 1960’s at Cal State Long Beach. Kirkus Reviews called Buzzkill “A historical thriller enriched by characters who sparkle and refuse to be forgotten.” His books are collected as part of the California Detective Fiction collection at the University of California Berkeley. 

Find out more about James at his website.

Image credits

Top: Image by Simon from Pixabay 

Second: Image by NikSonFik from Pixabay 

by Margie Lawson

Have you ever researched writing rules? Wowzee! There are hundreds of them. If you tried to follow them all you’d be paralyzed.

But some are so make-you-and-your-writing-stronger smart, they’re worth sharing.

I’ve pulled together writing rules from several authors:  Stephen King, Jodi Picoult, Maya Angelou, Jack London, Elmore Leonard, and Neil Gaiman. 

Take what fits and ignore the rest.

We’ll start with some popular ones that you probably know. It’s always good to be reminded.

Popular Writing Rules

1. Write every day. Or write five or six days a week. Stick to your plan.

2. Read. Read. Read. In your genre. Outside your genre.

3. Protect your writing time and space. Ask family and friends to honor your writing and not interrupt you.

4. Don’t try to write something that will please your grandmother.

5. Don’t write for the market. Write the story that speaks to you.

6. Don’t let research take over your story.

7. Find your voice. It may take writing half of a book or more, but it will surface.

8. Let your story flow. Get it on the page. Edit later.

9. Set writing goals.

10. Writers need writers. Reach out and connect with other writers.

Stephen King’s Writing Rules

1. First write for yourself, and then worry about the audience. 

2. Don’t use passive voice. 

3. Avoid adverbs. 

4. Don’t obsess over perfect grammar. 

5. The magic is in you. 

“I’m convinced that fear is at the root of most bad writing. Dumbo got airborne with the help of a magic feather; you may feel the urge to grasp a passive verb or one of those nasty adverbs for the same reason. Just remember before you do that Dumbo didn’t need the feather; the magic was in him.”

6. Eliminate distractions.

7. You have three months. 

“The first draft of a book—even a long one—should take no more than three months, the length of a season.”

8. Take a break.

“If you’ve never done it before, you’ll find reading your book over after a six-week layoff to be a strange, often exhilarating experience. It’s yours,  yet it will also be like reading the work of someone else, a soul-twin, perhaps. This is the way it should be, the reason you waited. It’s always easier to kill someone else’s darlings that it is to kill your own.”

9. Leave out the boring parts and kill your darlings.

“Mostly when I think of pacing, I go back to Elmore Leonard, who explained it so perfectly by saying he just left out the boring parts. This suggests cutting to speed the pace, and that’s what most of us end up having to do (kill your darlings, kill your darlings, even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings.)”

10. Writing is about getting happy.

“Writing isn’t about making money, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it’s about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It’s about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay?”

From Jodi Picoult:

“When you’re stuck, and sure you’ve written absolute garbage, force yourself to finish and THEN decide to fix or scrap it - or you will never know if you can.”

From Maya Angelou:

“You have to get to a very quiet place inside yourself. And that doesn’t mean that you can’t have noise outside. I know some people who put Jazz on, loudly, to write. I think each writer has her or his secret path to the muse.”

From Jack London:

“You can’t wait for inspiration, you have to go after it with a club.”

From Elmore Leonard:

“If it sounds like writing, I rewrite it.”

---

Our last set of writing rules is from Neil Gaiman.

Neil Gaiman’s Top 13 Writing Rules

1. Use lies to communicate truths

“Fiction stories are one of the most interesting phenomena that human beings have…Stories are part of us, and we convey truth with stories, which is fundamentally the most gloriously giant contradiction that you can ever imagine. What we’re saying is, we are using lies, we’re using memorable lies, we are taking people who do not exist and things that did not happen to those people in places that aren’t, and we are using those things to communicate true things to kids and to each other.”

2. Acknowledge your growth areas

“The hardest time for me was starting out as a very, very young writer. I wrote short stories and sent them out to places that could conceivably publish them, and they all came back. And I looked at the stories which went out and came back and went out and came back, and I thought, ‘Okay, well one of two things is true here. Either I’m not good enough or I don’t understand the world, there’s stuff I don’t get, there’s stuff I need to know.’”

3. Start a compost heap

“Everything you encounter in life has the potential to influence your work: overheard dialogue in a coffee shop, that song on the radio you can’t get out of your head, the television scene that perfectly depicts the sexual tension of a first date. Don’t limit yourself to only the influences in your genre. Drink from a wide-brimmed glass of creative inspiration.”

4. Reveal a little too much of yourself

“Every story contains a snapshot of its creator. Are you refusing to pose for that picture? Give your readers what they want: a story with personality and authenticity.”

5. Pay attention to the strangeness of humanity

“People are so much more interesting and strange and more unlikely than anything you could make up. Strange people and stories are all around you. You just need to take the time to look for them. Great characters and stories are borne from true characters and true stories.”

6. Don’t tell readers how to feel

“I would much rather not tell you how to feel about something. I would rather you just felt it. I will tell you what happens, and if I leave you crying because I just killed a unicorn, I’m not gonna tell you how sad the death of the unicorn was. I’m gonna kill that unicorn, and I’m gonna break your heart.”

7. Get the bad stories out of your pen

“I think as a writer, and especially as a young writer, your job is to get the bad words out, the bad sentences out, the stories that aren’t any good yet. You think it’s a great story, you think it’s a great idea, you think it’s good at least — and it may be — but the most important thing is just you got it out.”

8. Stumble upon your voice

“After you’ve written 10,000 words, 30,000 words, 60,000 words, 150,000 words, a million words, you will have your voice, because your voice is the stuff you can’t help doing.”

9. Create mutually exclusive desires

“Everything is driven by want. Everything is driven by need. And everything is driven by characters wanting different things, and those different things colliding. And every moment that one character wants something and another character wants something mutually exclusive and they collide, every time that happens, you have a story.”

10. Give your characters “funny hats.”

“When you have a lot of characters wandering around, you need to help your reader…And one of the ways that I’ve always liked to do that is what I call ‘funny hats’…You give your character something that makes that character different from every other character in the book.”

11. Ask yourself, “What is this story about?”

“The process of doing your second draft is a process of making it look like you knew what you were doing all along.”

12. Separate feedback from advice

“You always have to remember when people tell you that something doesn’t work for them, that they’re right. It doesn’t work for them. You also have to remember that when people tell you what they think is wrong and how you should fix it, that they’re almost always wrong. If you try and fix things their way, you’ll be writing their story, and you have to write yours.”

13. Do just enough research

“It’s like you’re a smash-and-grab robber. You are gonna put that brick through the window, then you’re gonna reach in and grab everything that you need and run away and use it, because honestly, you don’t want to spend ten years researching manners and morays in British public schools of the 1870s in order to get your story perfect.”

Wrapping Up

I’ll remember that smash-and-grab robber. I bet you will too!

Some of those rules may help you get through a tough patch or a tough scene. You may want to review the rules I shared and create your own list.

This piece you read from Stephen King may be worth printing in large font and putting it up where you’ll see it every day.

Even when it breaks your egocentric little scribbler’s heart, kill your darlings.

IT’S YOUR TURN!

Want to share a writing rule that speaks to you?

Post a comment – and you’ll be in the drawing for the course I’m teaching this month: 

Not Your Mama’s Character Descriptions!

That’s a $120 value!

The drawing will be at 8:00 p.m. Mountain Time. Class starts today, so the winner can pop in class tomorrow.

About Margie

Margie Lawson left a career in psychology to focus on another passion—helping writers make their writing bestseller strong. Using a psychologically based deep-editing approach, Margie teaches writers how to bring emotion to the page. Emotion equals power. Power grabs readers and holds onto them until the end. Hundreds of Margie grads have gone on to win awards, find agents, sign with publishers, and hit bestseller lists. Some have had their books turned into Hallmark movies, and a few have drama series in development. 

A popular international presenter, Margie has taught over 150 full-day master classes in the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and France, as well as multi-day intensives on cruise ships in the Caribbean. She’s taught close to 200 Immersion Master Classes across the U.S. and Canada, and in seven cities in Australia too. 

She also founded Lawson Writer's Academy, where you’ll find over 30 instructors teaching online courses through her website. To learn more and sign up for Margie’s newsletter, visit www.margielawson.com.

Check out Lawson Writer’s Academy Courses for March!

1. Not Your Mama’s Character Descriptions
2. Empowering Character’s Emotions
3. Dazzling Developmental Edits
4. Mind Map
5. The Eight Crafts of Writing
6. Crazy-Easy Awesome Author Websites
7. Make ‘Em Laugh, How to Write a Comedy Screenplay
8. Just for You, Intensive Mentorship
9. Navigating the Tightrope Between Historical Fact and Historical Fiction

Top image via Canva.

by Lisa Hall-Wilson

Deep POV takes the idea of ‘show don’t tell’ to what seems like new extremes for those more familiar with limited third person POV, or first person narration POV styles of writing (not to mention more distant POV styles like omniscient or objective third person). The goal of deep POV is to entirely remove the narrator/author voice and immerse the reader in the character’s lived experience of the story as it happens.

Easier said than done.

Writers see the advice that readers only get the information the main character takes in (what they see, hear, know, learn, intuit, etc), but are then frustrated by how often critiques point out where the author/narrator voice has crept in.

Now, to be clear, how deep you go with your story – how often or where you choose to go deep with your story, is entirely subjective. There are no rules. And if you take the time to browse through the bestseller categories for various genres, you’ll find deep POV techniques used a lot but you’ll also see those “rules” cheated a lot. Most people are going to use deep POV subjectively to varying degrees of depth. The best practice then, is to learn the technique, what effect the various tools create, and then use those techniques strategically to best enhance your voice and what you need each scene to accomplish story-wise.

In Deep point of view, the author’s job is to be invisible. So, where does the author/narrator voice creep in, and how do we fix it?

What is Author Intrusion?

Author intrusion in deep POV is when the author pauses the story or speaks to the reader either through description, summary, explanation, backstory, justification, etc. It’s considered author intrusion anytime you – the writer – insert yourself into the story to give the reader information – either information the POV character doesn’t/can’t know, or information the character might know but not think of. It’s narrator intrusion in first person when the POV character narrates their own feelings or thoughts.

Let’s look at some examples of common ways that author/narrator intrusion creeps into our stories when we’re aiming to write in deep POV:

Remember in deep POV, the character is alone in their own heads. We don’t remind ourselves of information we already know, we don’t explain our actions or feelings to ourselves (generally), and we don’t rehash past experiences (especially painful ones) without there being something to remind us of them.

1. With Author Intrusion:

There’s Judy with Bob, her fourth husband, next to the lemonade.

(The POV character already knows who Bob is, so they wouldn’t explain who he is to themselves if they’re not talking to the reader.)

The Fix:

“Who’s that with Judy?”

“Oh, that’s her husband, Bob.”
“Oh, why did I think her husband was blond?”

“Her third husband, Jack, was blond. That’s Bob.”

Dialogue is usually a good way to work around delivering information to the reader that the POV character wouldn’t think of or explain to themselves. Do some research into newbies or Watsons, especially if your character has specialized knowledge or lingo they wouldn’t need to explain to themselves but might cause readers to pause or become confused. The TV show Bones did this really well, having the cop explain detective procedure to the Dr, and the Dr explaining forensic procedures to the cop.

2. With Author Intrusion:

Felora slid her seax, a small multi-purpose blade, back into her belt.

(Felora would already know what a seax is, she wouldn’t need to explain it to herself.)

The Fix:

Felora slid her seax back into her belt and reached for her sword. This called for a much bigger blade.

3. With Author Intrusion:

Shannon brushed out her long blond hair. “Good enough. Let’s go.”

Every word on the page comes from within the POV character’s head. When you brush your hair, do you take note of the color, the length, how curly it is? Probably not without a reason to.

The Fix:

Use a different character to give that info to the reader: “Your hair is so long, Shannon. And I love the blond.”

Give the POV character an organic reason to think of it: Shannon’s brush caught another snag in her hair. She worked on the knot. “Stace, should I go short?”

4. With Author Intrusion:

A blush crept into her cheeks.

The POV character can’t see their own face. Instead, describe how this feels to them.

The Fix:

Heat spread across her cheeks.

5. With Author Intrusion:

When the meal ended, Kenelm clapped. The sound bounced off the walls and the table quieted. Most lords employed traveling gleemen to entertain at important feasts, but Kenelm had his own scop. She preferred gleemen because they recited well known songs and stories, whereas the scop composed original songs that could be quite coarse and lewd.

Watch for places where the POV character describes an aspect of their world they’d take for granted. Thinking and emotion words can function as red flags for author intrusion (the word “preferred” here). Where are you – the author – summarizing, explaining, giving context for things the character wouldn’t bother or need to tell themselves? Remember, the character is alone in their own head, they don’t talk to the reader through their thoughts.

The Fix:

Taryn poked Fin and nodded towards the man by the fire. “Who’s that?”

“Kenelm’s scop.” Fin tipped his cup to his lips.

“I’ve never seen a scop. Is it the same as a gleeman?”

“No. Gleemen recite songs and stories they’ve heard elsewhere. Scops compose their own.” His tone hardened, his frame stiffened.

She leaned in closer to whispered. “Is that bad?”

“Not bad.” Fin stared at his cup, turning it in his hands. “But unpredictable and often lewd. Mind your temper.”

6. With Author Intrusion:

Buzzards circled above the house in slow dizzying circles. Sarah reached for the alarm and yawned. Time to get up.

If the POV character can’t see or hear something, if they don’t know something is happening outside of what they can directly observe – they can’t tell the reader about it.

The Fix:

Sarah pulled back the curtains. Buzzards circled over the yard in dizzying circles.

The Fix:

She opened her eyes, frowning at the open window. Raucous bird chatter from the yard filled the room. She got up and looked out. Buzzards bounced around and chased one another off a fresh roadkill.

7. With (possible) Author Intrusion:

Shawn climbed the pine tree, his palm landing in a great gob of sap.

This is fine, as long as being able to distinguish a pine tree from a spruce tree is something this character would know -- not something YOU know. Every description needs to be how the character would describe it. Every detail described needs to what the character would notice or prioritize.

If Shawn is a city boy who doesn’t know one tree from another, he shouldn’t label it in his internal dialogue. If he spends a lot of time in the country and knows one tree from another, he’ll be able to label the tree.

The Fix:

Shawn crawled up the trees, weaving through the maze of clustered branches. His hand stuck to the bark and he swiped it against his pants, but the gobs of sap wouldn’t come off.

Instead, focus on details that would stand out to him instead of taking the short cut of labelling a specific tree. This goes for car parts, clothing designers, plants, etc.

8. With Narrator-Voice Intrusion:

I’d just been fired from a job I’d had for five years to an obnoxious kid with no experience.

This is very subjective – what does this character consider obnoxious? Readers have to take it for granted that the “kid” has no experience – can we trust this character’s perception? Further, how does this FEEL? Emotions are the glue of deep POV, they’re what makes dee POV so powerful.

The Fix:

I forced a smile and leaned in for the group selfie to mark the start of the ‘new’ marketing initiative. A lump the size of Montana filled my throat, blocking my air, stealing the moisture from my mouth. I returned to my chair, my back pressed against the wall. Being an Instagram influencer was not the equivalent of a four year marketing degree. I opened my phone and tapped in the password to my cloud storage and pulled up my resume. Heat filled my face and I stared at the screen just to have something else to focus on. Just let me crawl beneath the carpet and hide under the floor boards. Why wouldn’t this meeting just end?

9. With Author Intrusion:

She chewed on her bottom lip as she scanned the document. She satisfied herself that the corrections had been made.

This is author summary. The author is telling the reader the conclusion the character’s made and skipped over the details of how the character made that decision, or WHY they made that decision.

The Fix (going deeper):

She chewed on her bottom lip, her gaze skipping to each section she’d flagged on the previous version. The extra spaces had been removed. The client’s name was now spelled correctly. The timeline adjusted. Steve’s name and tainted reputation was no longer on the solicitor’s team list. She handed it back to Cindy. “Looks good. Go ahead and send that version. CC me.”

10. With Author Intrusion:

She chewed on her bottom lip as she scanned the document. She satisfied herself that the corrections had been made.

The Fix (going shallower):

She chewed on her bottom lip as she scanned the document. Steve’s name and tainted reputation was no longer on the solicitor’s team list. “Looks good.”

The decision of where to go deeper or shallower has to be made strategically depending on how important this is to the goals you have for this scene. Are the details in this contract important to the story? Is her missing a detail important? Are you trying to show that this character is distracted, meticulous, hard to work with, dedicated – whatever? If not, going deep without reason can slow the pace of the story. Going deeper causes the reader to lean in and assume this detail is important and causes frustration if these details are extraneous to the story. You can still avoid the author intrusion without going deep.

If you choose to go deeper in these situations, an editor unfamiliar with deep pov might flag this as ‘writing on the nose’ so it’s important to know WHY you’re including these details here – now.

Final Thoughts

Goodness, I could keep going but this is a good summary list of the common ways author/narrator intrusion creeps into deep POV. Make use of beta readers and critique partners because this can be very difficult to spot in your own work.

Do you feel confident enough in your knowledge of deep POV to know where you can cheat ‘the rules’ and what effects the techniques aim to create?

About Lisa

Lisa Hall-Wilson is a writing teacher and award-winning writer and author. She’s the author of Method Acting For Writers: Learn Deep Point Of View Using Emotional Layers. Her blog, Beyond Basics For Writers, explores all facets of the popular writing style deep point of view and offers practical tips for writers. 

She runs the free Facebook group Going Deeper With Emotions where she shares tips and videos on writing in deep point of view.