Writers in the Storm

A blog about writing

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Using “was” is passive writing, or is it?

by Dr. Diana Stout

How many times have you heard, “You shouldn’t use was.*** It’s passive writing?" Far too often, I find editing software or autocorrect will say “passive writing” when it’s not true. That’s why it’s important to understand what passive writing looks like.

Notes for this Post on Passive Writing

Our goal is to identify what was is and the type of verb that generally accompanies was will better aid our understanding of how to identify passive writing so that we can fix it. I promise that by the end of this blog post, you will be able to identify passive writing with two simple questions.

Helping verbs, also called auxiliary verbs, usually accompany participle verbs, which most often end with -ing or -ed. The middle column lists the various helping verbs.

*** Important: Words or phrases being analyzed or discussed are always italicized. Quote marks are reserved for dialogue or actual quotes that require(s) mentioning the source or providing a citation.

The TYPE of helping verbThe helping verbsExtra information
BEam, is, are, was, were, be, been 
HAVEhave, has, had 
DODo, does, diddone is a helping verb in British English but not in American English where it’s the past participle of do.
CONDITIONALShould, could, would 
FUTURE TENSEwill, shall 
ABILITY, PERMISSION, POSSIBILITY, NECESSITYcan, may, might, mustThe order of types matches the order of helping verbs. Ability = Can, Permission = May and so forth.

Helping Verbs Made Easier

Now, let’s look at a timeline of official verb terminology and how each is used with these helping verbs, starting with the past way in the distance, moving toward the present, and then into the future, and beyond.

Using the word hike

Perfect Progressive PastPerfect PastProgressive PastSimple Past
I had been hikingI had hikedI was hikingI hiked; I did hike

Present

  • I hike
  • I am hiking
  • I do hike
  • He is hiking
Simple FutureFuture ProgressiveFuture PerfectFuture Perfect Progressive
I will hike; he should hikeI will be hiking; he should be hikingI will have hikedI will have been hiking

Are you noticing how the participle -ing and -ed verbs are required when there is a helping verb? Are any of these phrases in the chart passive? No, they’re not. They’re all active. How so?

A closer examination

Let’s examine the use of was more closely with various subjects. The verb forms are italicized.

  • He was walking to the bank.
  • She is talking on the telephone.
  • The ball was kicked.

So, are any of these sentences passive writing? Yes, one sentence is passive and it’s the last one. The first two sentences are active writing.

I can hear you thinking or saying, “But, I’ve been told using was is passive writing. I’m confused. How can I tell when was is passive or active in my sentence?”

Often, helping verbs creates wordiness. In some cases, helping verbs create telling rather than showing. Wordiness and telling do not equal passive writing. Passive writing occurs for one reason and one reason only and here’s how to find out whether your sentence is passive or not.

How to Identify Passive Writing

#1 - Identify the subject

Using the three example sentences again, I’m underlining the subjects.

  • He was walking to the bank.
  • She is talking on the phone.
  • The ball was kicked.

#2 - Ask: is the subject performing the action?

In the first two examples, yes, the subject is doing the acting. In the third sentence, the ball is not doing the kicking.

If a subject performs the action, it’s active writing regardless of the verb form being used.

If the subject is being acted upon, the sentence is passive. The additional problem with the last sentence is that it’s unclear; it needs more information to be made clear.

            Question: The ball was kicked by whom?

            Answer: The ball was kicked by the little boy.

Meaning is clearer. But, notice how we now have the preposition by. Prepositions can lead to wordiness, too. Plus, the sentence is still passive.

So how do you make a passive sentence active?

Switch things around. Move the subject so that it performs the action. Notice how the preposition disappears, too.

            The little boy was kicking the ball.

But, it’s still a bit wordy and slow-moving. The sentence isn’t as active as it could be. To make sentences less wordy, remove the helping verbs and use simple present or simple past tense.

  • He walked to the bank. (simple past)
  • She talks on the telephone. (present)
  • The little boy kicked the ball. (simple past)

Reminder: To determine if your sentence is passive:

  1. Identify the subject.
  2. Ask: is the subject doing the action or is it being acted upon?

If the subject is being acted upon (passive writing), rewrite or rearrange until the subject is performing the action (active writing).

To remove verb wordiness, use simple verbs without the helping verbs.

Test Yourself

Think you understand the difference between passive and active writing now? Let’s check. Is the following sentence passive or active?

The boys in the choir who were marching in the parade were soaked by the rain.

What’s the subject? Boys

What’s the verb: were marching and were soaked

Are the boys performing the action? Yes and No. To figure it out, simplify the sentence using only subjects and verbs

The boys were marching so that first portion is active. The boys are doing something.

The boys were soaked. The boys aren’t doing anything. This sentence is a statement of fact, so that means something else is acting upon the boys. The boys were soaked by the rain. The rain is acting upon the boys.

So, the above sentence is both active and passive. Is that okay? Certainly.

Final Thought

Not all writing has to be active. The beauty is that I can change it, restructure the sentence if I don’t want part of it to be passive.

There will be times when you want your subject acted upon, when they have no control, are threatened, or are being abused by someone or something. Via passive writing, you are showing how the character has no control.

Do you have a sentence you’re not sure how to rewrite and want to share? Or, have you found a passive sentence in your work that you’ve rewritten and it’s now active? Share it! Show us how you changed it.

About Diana

Diana Stout, MFA, PhD

Dr. Diana Stout enjoys helping other writers become better at their craft. Her main goals for 2025 are to publish her grammar and punctuation book, publish her psychological paranormal thriller, and write her fully researched based-on-a-true-story historical screenplay. To subscribe to her announcement-only newsletter of these publications, click here.

To learn more about Diana, visit her Sharpened Pencils Productions website and check out her Recommended Reading page where she provides links to helpful books and articles for all writers.

Top photo purchased from Depositphotos.

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Ways to Fix Writing Mistakes: Oversimplified Characters

by Ellen Buikema

Everyone makes mistakes, which is okay because making errors is a quick way to learn.

You receive a message from one of your beta readers that reads, “I loved your surprise ending!” Then you see these words. “But your main character . . .  There wasn’t much to like or dislike. I just couldn’t relate.”

This is not possible. How could someone not love my spunky protagonist?! She is awesome!

So, you re-read your manuscript only to discover that your protagonist is three dimensional in your mind, not on the page. Not complex enough.

No worries! Here are some fixes.

These four elements can help avoid oversimplifying characters:

Figure out what your character Wants and Needs

Don’t assume that your character’s Wants and Needs are the same things. Most characters think that what they want is what they need. Often, characters don’t know what they need.

Want vs need creates conflict in the story—the character might think, “If I do this, then I’ll get that.” What the character intends doesn’t always happen, which created tension. That’s the story. An easy way to plot this out is to ponder several questions:

  • What is your character's state of mind at the story’s start?
  • Where are they going?
  • Where will they land?
  • Will they get what they need at the final destination?

For example, in Star Wars: A New Hope, Luke Skywalker’s Wants are healthy. He wants to become a Jedi, join the Rebellion, and fight the evil Empire.

Luke Skywalker’s Needs are to let go of his anger, fear, and hatred. By failing to do this, he puts his own life as well as those of his family, friends, and Rebellion forces in danger.

If you’re stuck for your character’s wants and needs, think about your own life experiences. Or, you can practice by inserting information from other stories. Maybe your character Wants to run away from home, but Needs to deal with their feelings of abandonment from being ignored growing up.

Give them inconsistencies

Contradictions are a great way to keep your characters interesting. Make them a bit unpredictable.

  • What if the hero isn’t brave?
  • How about a Matchmaker who can’t find a good match for themselves?

Frodo from Lord of the Rings: the most unqualified, harmless person who is the only one able to take the One Ring, of evilest magic, through the dark land of Mordor to be destroyed.

The Ronan Lynch character of Maggie Stiefvater’s The Raven Cycle series is rude and rough with most people, but can be thoughtful and tries to help his friends when he notices something is wrong. This makes him likeable, giving the readers something to emphasize.

A way to play with a character’s contradictions is to describe their wonderful and terrible sides: to fall for them, yet really want to give them a piece of your mind.

Example:

A character is a delightfully talented actor. But that actor agrees to give a performance on the same day of a good friend’s wedding knowing full well he’ll be late to the ceremony at which he is the Best Man.

Gift them with flaws—keep them relatable

We all have flaws. Your character needs them too. Your readers relate to sympathetic and dynamic characters. Not all characters need to, or should be, loved, but we do want the readers to feel for them—thereby keeping the readers engaged in the story.

Gift the character with positive and negative qualities. Serious, with a quirky sense of humor. Fearful, but willing to stand up for their friends in a pinch. The balance of positive and negative bestows the character a realness, while giving the reader someone with whom to sympathize.

A way to keep track of your character’s flaws and strengths is to make two columns, with flaws on one side and strengths on the other. This will help with your character’s backstory. It also helps you to keep track of these traits.

Example:

A heroine that is courageous but over-thinks everything can work to get her cohorts in and out of trouble. Or a sidekick who is faithful but envious can cause interesting issues with the other characters.

Let them be vulnerable

Vulnerable characters have depth. Allow your characters the chance to be emotionally open to the reader. This lets them be sympathetic and irresistible. We see their internal battles and empathize.

Example:

In the novel The Sightless City, the character Sylvaine is a Ferral, a species of furry, clawed beings who are looked down on and treated poorly by the human majority. Sylvaine has been called a beast all her life. Instead of directly fighting against prejudice, she tries to prove herself the exception by becoming an engineer, which Ferrals aren’t allowed to be.

She fails, making her susceptible to the corruptive influence of one who promises to give her the powers of an engineer, and an identity free from the discrimination and self-loathing that comes with being a Ferral.

Using a character’s fear to show their vulnerability is a tool writers can use to make their characters dynamic.

  • What are your character’s fears?
  • Is it loss or lack of control, rejection?
  • What would happen if they had to face their fears head-on?

Creating space in your story for your characters to face these fears, and deal with them as they may, will allow your reader to see them as sympathetic.

When writing your characters, what do you do to keep them from being oversimplified? Who is your favorite, complex character? What is it about that character that you find relatable?

* * * * * *

About Ellen

Author, speaker, and former teacher, Ellen L. Buikema has written non-fiction for parents, and The Adventures of Charlie Chameleon chapter book series with stories encouraging the development of empathy—sprinkling humor wherever possible. Her Works in Progress are The Hobo Code, YA historical fiction and The Crystal Key, MG Magical Realism/ Sci-Fi, a glaze of time travel.

Find her at https://ellenbuikema.com or on Amazon.

Top Image by İbrahim Özkadir from Pixabay

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Diving in the Toolbox: Creating a Plot-Subplot Template

by Laurie Schnebly Campbell

When someone first asked about creating a plot-subplot template for their toolbox, I was baffled. “Why would you need to create a template? Why not just use the W, or the Hero/ine’s Journey, or Discovering Story Magic, or Plotting Via Motivation, or the Snowflake, or Personality Ladder, or -- oh. Yeah. I get it.”

There are all KINDS of templates, and a lot of ‘em (like those mentioned above) are extremely good. But not every template works for every writer, which is why creating your own makes sense.

Looking at various templates you’ve tried, it’s easy to spot things you liked and would be happy to keep...as well as things you didn’t. That’s where plot-subplot customization comes in.

Obviously, what kind of fiction you’re writing will make a difference. (Sure, readers also love NON-fiction, but plot-subplot templates don’t really apply there except in an occasional biography or memoir.) So, you need to consider questions like:

Does your genre require an open-to-interpretation or happy or cliffhanger ending?


How many can / should there be?

If the main plot has a happy ending, can a subplot end differently? Ambiguously?

Are there certain high / low spots the reader has every right to expect as the story unfolds?

This is a lot to consider, and it helps to have in mind some examples of stories you’ve liked. When you think about books or movies or TV series you’ve admired—not just lately, but at any time in your life—think about what you admired IN that story. What did you find particularly appealing?

It can’t be something like “the lead actor” who entranced you. It can’t be “the gorgeous setting” that caught your eye. It’s gotta be the template itself that you liked...the way the story unfolded, the thing/s it focused on more intensely, the ending that left you feeling highly satisfied.

Which, once you’ve chosen a few stories you found particularly appealing, leads to some questions about each of ‘em:

  1. What high and low spots stood out?
  2. How many, if any, subplots were there?
  3. How did the main plot end? How about the subplot/s?

We already know there’s gonna be SOME kind of connection between them and the main plot. For instance:

* Sidekick/s have an issue separate from their relationship/s with the main character/s.

* The main character has more than one problem to solve...maybe one professional, another personal.

* Subplots bring in an issue that wouldn’t automatically arise in the main plot but which deepens the situation, the backstory, the conflict, and/or the theme of the story.

Of course, the main plot deserves more page-time and more attention than any subplot. But you can do things with subplots that you couldn’t have done with the main one.

Let’s say you’re writing a classic romance or mystery where the main plot’s ultimate resolution is “love conquers all” or “justice is served.” Let’s also say you don’t want readers thinking “hmph, that wasn’t very true-to-life.”

Having a subplot in which love DOESN’T conquer all, or justice ISN’T served, gives your book a more realistic overtone. (Some readers will love that nuance. Others will wish you’d stopped with the classic resolution reinforcing what they prefer to see. You can go whichever way you like!)

What else can your subplot/s do?

* Provide information you want the reader -- but not the main character -- to have. If the main character’s searching for a hidden treasure but doesn’t know it’s stored in the volcano that’ll erupt in 36 hours, your story’s tension is a lot stronger when the readers KNOW about this hiding place than if they have no idea where the treasure is. They’ll be getting sweaty palms, which they love, and your subplot can deliver that.

What else can a subplot do?

* Help you develop characters who’ll become important later in the story, or later in the series.

* Reveal backstory which the main character doesn’t know about (or doesn’t think of as any big deal) by having a side character refer to it.

* Create a different mood. If your main plot is a nail-biting thriller, your subplot can give the reader some much needed moments of humor. Or if your main plot’s a heartwarming love story, your subplot can remind ‘em that life isn’t always sunshine and roses. Switching moods every so often will help keep people intrigued. They’re never 100% sure of what they’ll get in the next scene.

So, your subplot has some mission relating to the main plot, along with pursuing its OWN narrative arc.

That means—since it’s unfolding as a plot, just like the main story is unfolding as a plot—it’ll need to fill the same requirements as any good plot. But generally <whew> not as many.

All of which goes into creating your plot-subplot template, and that starts with answering the question about stories you appreciate. Even without analyzing their template/s, it’s fun to choose a few examples of stories that have left you feeling genuinely satisfied. Which leads to our:

What’s some element those Stories You’ve Loved have in common?

* * * * * *

About Laurie

After winning Romantic Times’ “Best Special Edition of the Year” over Nora Roberts, Laurie Schnebly Campbell discovered she loved teaching every bit as much as writing...if not more. Since then, she’s taught online and live workshops including the upcoming Creating a Plot-Subplot Template, and keeps a special section of her bookshelves for people who’ve developed that particular novel in her classes. With 50+ titles there so far, she’s always hoping for more.

Top Image by Tung Nguyen from Pixabay

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