My book Working Girl has been translated into five languages, with a sixth to come. First published in English, it’s now available in Portuguese, Spanish, French, German, with Dutch coming this April. It’s difficult to know how well the book has done in the different countries, but even a year later, my book is in the top 30 for the publishing house in Brazil!
That’s great, but how do you reach international readers, aside from your book just turning up on shelf or in Amazon or, as in Brazil, Skoob?
Tailor social media
As each new translation came out, I created a Facebook page for each language, with the exception of German. I was advised not to create a German page because translations are so much tougher and could give the wrong impression with any errors. And that was the last thing I wanted to do!
In my previous life as a marketing specialist, I was in charge of creating a whole new set of promotional brochures which needed to be translated into Portuguese and Spanish. I learned quickly how bad translations can be—especially if it’s technical or engineering base.
To communicate on these pages, I use Google to translate from English. Then I transfer back between the two languages to see if any huge oops has happened —and yes, I’ve had a few! Then I have to play with the words to get the correct message. It’s not easy to maintain integrity in translation, but I keep trying. I’ve been assured by others that the attempt to communicate in a foreign reader’s language is appreciated. So I hold on to that note.
One of the first readers I met when A Entrevista (as Working Girl was retitled in Portuguese) released in Brazil was an avid reader and bookseller—Flavio. Having a local contact has made a big difference. He’s helped me with translations, understanding what certain words meant, and correcting any mistakes.
Personalize Amazon pages
Amazon Author Central pages aren’t important only in the United States. I've created Amazon pages in the countries with translations as well.
I make sure I have my bio there (translated, of course) and a profile picture. By doing this, I hope that when a reader in that country goes to Amazon and finds my page, they feel a little more connected to me.
Include foreign language in your newsletter
For my newsletter, I try and have at least a few words in each language that Working Girl has been translated into. Just to show appreciation for those readers. It's kind of like when you go away on vacation and muddle through asking for a beer in Spanish. You get the smiles and the giggles, but they appreciate your attempt.
When I was in France last Spring, I was afraid to try and speak any French. But one a day when a couple of authors and I went out exploring I decided to speak a little more. And that led to more and more, and then I suddenly felt almost Parisian! Well, far from it, to be honest. But I did try and drew on what little I remembered of my high school French, and it gave me more confidence.
I’ve also learned that different cultures appreciate different things in the book. One loves a particular aspect, and the other not so much.
Always be genuine
Overall, trying to be genuine with foreign readers is the best thing. A foundation with these readers is important for when you have more books translated. It might be none, or just one now, but there could be more coming down the road.
It is a big wide world out there full of readers. And trying to communicate with those readers is obviously a challenge if you don't speak the language. I know there are some languages I could never even begin to try and learn or translate, like Korean. One of my Harlequin books was translated into Korean, and I was thrilled to get a copy.
But love and romance crosses all barriers! Even language. So cheers to our worldwide readers and writers!
How have you connected with international readers? Or with authors who speak a different language?
About Shana
Shana Gray is a hybrid author who was first published in 2010. She has written contemporary erotic romances for multiple publishers including Harlequin Blaze, Random House, and Headline and is also an indie author. Her stories range from scorching quickie length to longer full-length novels. She's the author of international top seller Working Girl, which has been translated into six languages. Shana's passion is to enjoy life! She lives in Ontario, but loves to travel and see the world, be with family and friends, and experience the beauty that surrounds us. Visit her online at shanagray.com. Twitter @shanagray_ Facebook: Shana Gray
Several excellent posts have already been written here on how to increase sexual tension—the key to writing romance no matter if it's a sweet romance or erotic. These tips are also helpful for those in other genres who have a romance subplot. If you haven't read these, definitely start here:
Understanding these concepts and tips is one thing, but applying them in our writing can be a challenge if we're not used to it yet. Too often we think we have what's in our head on the page, but do we really?
First, analyze what you might be missing on the page
Below are elements that too often can be either too sparse, or missing altogether in scenes where a writer is either trying to increase sexual tension or is writing a sex scene. If you're missing these elements, your scene potentially is all action. While that doesn't sound bad for a sex scene, it can make it sound like IKEA sex. Avoid IKEA sex.
Do you use the senses, especially touch?
Go through your scene and mark anything that calls up one of the senses, either by circling it or making a note in the margin. Do you have any at all? How much depends on your style, but no matter how much you regularly use, use more in sensual scenes.
If you don't have any, look at any action taken and see if there's an opportunity there to draw the reader into the sensations of the moment. The goal is to ground the action in a sensation, making the reader feel like they’re right there experiencing it. Especially touch. Or look at your dialogue tags and replace them with an action tag that employs one of the senses.
Example
Before: She smoothed her hand up his side, and his breath grew more ragged.
After: She smoothed her hand up his linen-clad chest, the tight weave—warm from his skin and the last rays of the sun—skim-skim-skimming across her palms. (Must Love More Kilts, by Angela Quarles)
What was added:
Specific and concrete details. linen-clad chest instead of 'side'
Senses evoked. Here it's the sense of touch with the sensation of warmth from his body on her palm as well as the weave of the fabric skimming along her skin
Note: His breathing didn't get cut out, but it became part of a new paragraph, so I left it out in the 'after' example.
Do you have push/pull?
Go through your scene, this time marking anything that is conflict, or a push-pull dynamic, or denial. Underlining or drawing a box around it works well. There should be some kind of conflict in your scene, especially if it's one of the 12 stages of physical intimacy being reached for the first time.
Example
Before:"All in all, this is better than I expected," she said, looking at Robert.
After: Katy plopped onto the narrow wooden bench and stuck her hands before the fire. “All in all, better than I expected.” She studiously avoided looking at the bed. Oh God. Did it have to be so alluringly unusual? (Must Love Chainmail, by Angela Quarles)
What was added:
Besides taking out the dialogue tag and the stage direction that really doesn't add much to the sentence other than to say where she looked, in the revised version a small sliver of push-pull was added in the form of internal dialogue and the stage direction switched to what she wasn't looking at. Why? Because this is a highly charged moment—for the first time they are in a bedroom together. And there's a bed. It's in these small moments that you can increase sexual tension. Don't overlook these moments.
Do you have evocative adjectives and power words?
Don't discount the power of an evocative adjective, even though some writing advice will tell you to eschew adjectives. Go through and circle any good adjective or power word. Do you have some in every paragraph? If not, look at your action sentences and see if you can judiciously pepper in some of those puppies.
Example
Before: Then his breath was stroking her cheek and then her ear, and a shiver coursed over her. Then his lips—those lips—grazed her jaw and then the soft part below her ear.
After: His warm breath, smelling of clean spice, stroked her cheek and ear. A thrilling shiver coursed over her, the wound on her arm only a minor sting. Then his lips—those full, sensuous lips—grazed her jaw and the soft spot behind her ear, the hairs of his beard brushing her sensitive skin. Her shivers locked her muscles tight. A bolt of tantalizing heat shot down her center. (Must Love Chainmail)
What was added:
Evocative adjectives and power words. warm, thrilling, full, sensuous
Senses evoked. Smell and heat of his breath stroking her, the hairs brushing sensitive skin
Response to the stimulus. In the first version, she didn't have a reaction after the lips grazed her.
Do you have an emotional response?
Make sure there's an emotional response that shows where the POV character is now coming from as a result of the encounter. For every moment your characters reach one of the twelve stages. Eyes clashing across the room doesn't quite get there if you don't know how the POV character responds to it emotionally.
He collapsed next to her, and they both fought to catch their breaths. The chill air caught her attention first, which made her realize she was coated in a thin sheen of sweat. He stirred first, grabbing one of the furs and wiping her stomach clean.
He then pulled another fur over them and pulled her to nestle up against him, his tunic a barrier, though, to his hot skin. She snuggled up against him and let her mind thump back softly into a drowsy blissfulness.
After:
He collapsed beside her, and they both fought to catch their breaths.
Wow. Just...oh my, wow.
Her heart pounded with her first taste of abandon. Why had she ever denied herself this? This was raw. This was primal. This was real.
The chilly air caught her attention first, which made her realize she was coated in a thin sheen of sweat, another first. He stirred, grabbed one of the furs, and wiped her stomach clean.
“You will be the death of me, woman.”
He pulled another fur over them and nestled her up against him, his shirt a barrier, though, to his hot skin. She snuggled up, grateful he still had his wits, because she sure didn’t, and let her mind thump back into a drowsy blissfulness.(Must Love Chainmail)
What was added:
Internal dialogue. To show where her head space is afterward
Physical response
Emotional response
Do you have a stimulus for every response?
I doubt Dwight Swain had sexual tension and sex scenes specifically in mind when he wrote Techniques of the Selling Writer and counseled writers to make sure that every motivation (action) had a reaction. But it's crucial, especially in a sex scene, to make sure that each stimulus has a response. If he does something to her, have her react, etc. And I like to take these reactions and ground the POV character physically into the environment. This is where you can layer in one of the senses as well. Too many times I've read sex scenes where one does something to the other, and...they keep doing stuff...and doing stuff...and their partner isn't reacting at all. That stuff can appear to be "hot" or "erotic," but it's not really if the other character isn't reacting to it that way. And this isn't just for the POV character. The non-POV character needs to be reacting too. It's a delicate dance.
Responses can take the form of action, or an emotional response, or a visceral response.
Next, Dig Deeper
Evaluate your action sentences. Look. At. Each. One. Sometimes a sentence can seem like it's an action, but it's not really something you can see. Or you can see it, but it still might not be enough. Can you feel it? Sometimes writers can make a mistake in writing something that can be visualized, and a sensation can be inferred, but it can be broken down into a more detailed action that evokes a sensation.
An example He kissed her neck and nibbled on her ear lobe.
This is a pretty generic action we've seen loads of times. Nothing wrong with it, but it's also not doing the author any favors. If you were evaluating this, you might think it's an action, and so is not telling, and move along to the next sentence. Stop. This is an example of an action sentence that seems like an action but isn't fully. Sure, we all know what a kiss feels like and we can visualize this. But do you feel it?
How about: He dragged his lips up the soft skin of her neck and gently nipped her ear lobe, sipping on the soft flesh. (Must Love Chainmail)
Notice how in revisions, I took the action of the kiss and made it into something the reader can feel along with the hero.
What was added:
Power words. Dragged, nipped, sipping, flesh
Dug deeper. Instead of just 'kissed her neck,' the action was described
Senses evoked. Here it's the sense of touch with the sensation of his lips dragging across her skin.
Another example We reach the first landing, and he palms the small of my back again, the solid tips of his fingers settling into the dip along my spine, steady and sure. (Earning It, by Angela Quarles)
See how the action of the hand at the small of the back is amplified slightly by showing the fingers settling in, and then giving a little hint as the attitude/competence/confidence of the man palming her back?
Finally, evaluate whole scene
Make sure it’s grounded in their personalities and that the scene moves the plot and character ARC forward. Sex can’t be just sex; it needs to change their relationship to each other, or how they think of their situation now that they’ve had sex. If it’s not the first time, then making sure this scene has a reason to showcase their emotional turning point in the story. Find out if there’s any emotional conflict happening that can be highlighted here.
What about you? Do you have some tricks to share, or have any questions? Let me know!
About Angela
An avid reader herself, Angela Quarles writes books she'd like to read—laugh-out-loud, smart romances that suck you into her worlds and won't let you go until you reach The End. She is an RWA RITA® award-winning and USA Today bestselling author of contemporary, time travel, and steampunk romance. Library Journal named her steampunk, Steam Me Up, Rawley, Best Self-Published Romance of 2015, and Must Love Chainmail won the 2016 RITA® Award in the paranormal category, the first indie to win in that category. Angela loves history, folklore, and family history and combined it with her active imagination to write stories of romance and adventure.
I was chatting with an old friend via email this morning, and we were discussing song lyrics. It’s a favorite topic of mine, because I’ve always wanted to write them. After all, they’re just a hugely abbreviated form of writing. Mini Flash Fiction, with poetry thrown in. Extreme write tight!
If they can do this with less than a page, what should I be able to do with 365 of them?! No excuses. Lyrics inspire me to write better.
I love how songwriters can capture a mood or a situation with one stanza. As an author, I’m held captive by the words. Taking something old, and through brilliant writing, making it over in a new way. The lyrics to Carly Simon's song, Jesse, inspired my July release, The Last True Cowboy.
Music styles change (a huge amount, in just my lifetime!), but for me, the lyrics are the magic. If the notes can hold a candle to the lyrics, you've got a hit. It’s funny; I don’t really care for country music for the most part, but I find the lyrics very strong.
Here are a few snippets that I’ve loved for years:
We had no cameras to shoot the landscape we passed the hash pipe and played our Doors tapes and it was dark so dark at night and we held onto each other like brother to brother we promised our mothers we'd write and we would all go down together
Billy Joel – Goodnight Saigon
So she took her love For to gaze awhile Upon the fields of barley In his arms she fell as her hair came down Among the fields of gold
Sting – Fields of Gold
How can I save my little boy from Oppenheimer's deadly toy There is no monopoly in common sense On either side of the political fence We share the same biology Regardless of ideology Believe me when I say to you I hope the Russians love their children too
Sting – Russians
And now I'm glad I didn't know The way it all would end the way it all would go Our lives are better left to chance I could have missed the pain But I'd of had to miss the dance
Garth Brooks – The Dance
I'm gonna love you forever Forever and ever, amen As long as old men sit and talk about the weather As long as old women sit and talk about old men If you wonder how long I'll be faithful I'll be happy to tell you again I'm gonna love you Forever and ever Forever and ever, amen
Randy Travis – Forever and Ever, Amen
Fat man sitting on a little stool Takes the money from my hand while his eyes take a walk all over you Hands me the ticket smiles and whispers good luck Cuddle up angel cuddle up my little dove Well ride down baby into this tunnel of love
I can feel the soft silk of your blouse And them soft thrills in our little fun house Then the lights go out and it's just the three of us You me and all that stuff were so scared of Gotta ride down baby into this tunnel of love
Bruce Springsteen – Tunnel of Love
I swear I’m going to try writing some!
Are you captivated by lyrics? Share your faves in the comments!
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About Laura
Laura Drake is a city girl who never grew out of her tomboy ways, or a serious cowboy crush. She writes both Women's Fiction and Romance.
She sold her Sweet on a Cowboy series, romances set in the world of professional bull riding, to Grand Central. The Sweet Spot won the 2014 Romance Writers of America® RITA® award in the Best First Book category.
Laura began a video blog for writers, answering their burning questions. You can watch all the episodes HERE. If you have a question you'd like her to address in a future episode, leave her a comment!
Did you know Laura teaches craft classes? Check out her upcoming ones, both online and in person, HERE.
