Writers in the Storm

Ellen Meister

Churlish. Mean. Difficult. Insensitive. When I first got the idea to introduce the acid-tongued Dorothy Parker to social media, I had no idea I would soon be using those adjectives to describe Facebook.

It started in early 2011. I was working on a new novel that resurrected the great 1920s literary wit as a fictional character in a contemporary setting, and I thought it might be fun to see if I could connect with a few hundred fellow fans. Four years and over 147,000 followers later, my relationship with Facebook feels less like a love story than Stockholm Syndrome. But I've learned to tame my captor—or at least keep it from hurting me too much—and I'd like to share that knowledge with you, dear writers.

First a little background. For the uninitiated, Dorothy Parker was a poet, theater critic, short story writer, book reviewer and essayist. Most of all, she’s known as the sharpest-tongued wit of the Algonquin Round Table, a group of writers and other Jazz Era notables who met daily for lunch throughout the 1920s.

Here are some of her famous quotes that my Facebook followers enjoy:

• “That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.”
• After seeing a young Katharine Hepburn in a stage performance: “She ran the gamut of emotions from A to B.”
• “If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.”
• On being asked her opinion on the most beautiful words in the English language: “The ones I like are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.’”
• When challenged to use the word “horticulture” in a sentence: “You can lead a horticulture but you can’t make her think.”
• After terminating an unwanted pregnancy: “It serves me right for putting all my eggs in one bastard.”
• "I hate writing, I love having written."

In the beginning, my relationship with Facebook really was a love affair. It was the perfect place to build a following and connect with Dorothy Parker fans, and I can honestly say it was both fun and practical. In addition to enjoying the interactions, I was creating a platform for my books, Farewell, Dorothy Parker and Dorothy Parker Drank Here. These were folks who would be legitimately interested in my subject matter.

But as time went by, Facebook made it harder and harder to connect with the page's fans. They tightened the screws on their delivery algorithm until it was nearly impossible to reach more than a tiny fraction of my own followers "organically." In Facebook lingo, that means "free." So even though these folks had indicated that they wanted to receive daily updates from the page, Facebook wouldn't deliver unless I ponied up some cash. And not a token fee, mind you, but a huge pile of money. Indeed, the fees are so outrageous—so many hundreds of times over what could actually constitute a return on investment—that it's simply impossible.

Fortunately, I've learned some secrets of the delivery algorithm, and they all begin and end with engagement. In other words, the more likes, shares and comments a post generates, the more Facebook delivers it. Consider the following:

Evening is best

It stands to reason that you'll get  the most engagement if you post when the greatest number of followers are on Facebook. I've seen varying statistics on this, but my own experience bears out that evening is the best time to post. For my page, which has followers all over the world but a heavy concentration on the East Coast of the U.S., the sweet spot is 5 pm – 9 pm, Eastern Time.

Elicit comments

The more comments your posts get, the more Facebook will deliver them. So if you include a question or some other request, the responses will help your post get delivered. And don't be shy about putting your own two cents in the comments. Your engagement counts, too, and followers enjoy the give-and-take.

Like your own posts

Your own likes count as engagement, so be sure to like your status right after you post it. And if you have other Facebook pages, switch to those identities to like and share your posts.

Images work better than straight text

Facebook's algorithm is geared toward delivering images more widely than text. So either create an image that includes your message, or post an image and include your message as the description.

Post your image first, then add the description

I think it's always a good idea to include some kind of description with your image. However,  for maximum delivery, I've discovered that it's best to post the image first, and then click "edit" to add your description.

Be cautious with your call to action

I used to routinely include calls to action such as, "Like and share if you agree!" However, Facebook has been upfront about the fact that they consider this gaming the system, and they have rigged their algorithm to watch out for this language—even embedded in images—so they can quash delivery. (In other words, they want to minimize organic reach so that they can charge you their exorbitant fees.) Experiment with your language to see what works and what doesn't.

Share your good news

Facebook's algorithm has a soft spot for good news, so if your followers comment with words like "congratulations" and "great news," your delivery will be greater.

Content is king

This is probably obvious, but it 's important to remember that the more engaging your posts are, the more likes, shares and comments you'll receive.

One final note about building your following. It's fine to ask your friends to like your page, but don't consider that your end goal. You want to broaden your reach to find the kind of followers who enjoy your content. So keep it lively. Post often and vary your updates. And from time to time, point people right back to your page, so that if they're reading the post via a share, they are encouraged to give the page a "like." Click here to see an example of how I handle that.

I hope you found this information useful. If you have any of your own Facebook tips, feel free to share them in the comments. In the meantime, I leave you with a final Dorothy Parker quote to ponder ...

“If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers, the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now, while they’re happy.”

Good luck friends!

Are you a Dorothy Parker fan? What is your favorite Parker quote? What Facebook tricks have you learned? Please share in the comments! 

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About Ellen

Ellen Meister is a writer, reader, teacher, mother, wife, and Dorothy Parker fan. Her six-word memoir is "Not as blond as I look."

She is also the author of DOROTHY PARKER DRANK HERE (Putnam 2015), FAREWELL, DOROTHY PARKER (Putnam 2013), THE OTHER LIFE (Putnam 2011), THE SMART ONE (HarperCollins 2008) and SECRET CONFESSIONS OF THE APPLEWOOD PTA (HarperCollins 2006), as well as numerous essays and short stories.

Ellen teaches creative writing at Hofstra University Continuing Education, mentors emerging authors, lectures on Dorothy Parker and the Algonquin Round Table, and does public speaking about her books and other writing-related topics. Ellen is the voice of Dorothy Parker on her hugely popular Facebook page.

Kennedy Ryan

I don’t garden. Not even a little bit. My thumbs are so black they are charred, but even I know weeds in a garden cannot be tolerated. This principle, this image of an overrun garden guides me as I think about my life. More specifically, as I manage my heart.

One definition of husbandry relates to managing plants, crops, gardens. I think of my heart as a garden. You could be tempted to assume this will be a fluffy, pastel Peptol-pink post that sprouts flowers and rots your teeth with its sweetness.

This is not that. This is the opposite of that.

This is about the discipline it takes to live a positive life. A life that is gracious when it wants to be selfish. Kind when it’s tempted to be cruel. Magnanimous when it would rather be small.

I’m relatively new to the writing game, but not to life. I have four decades under my belt now, thank God. I appreciate how every one of those years prepared me for being a published writer. Really, prepared me for a lot, but a few things that specifically translate to this still-new path of professional author.

One of my writer friends recently referred to me as “relentlessly positive.” She had no idea how accurate that statement is. Negativity is a constant temptation that I see people yield to all the time. It takes grit and intention to resist that temptation and to dig out your best and share it with those around you, even when you don’t feel like it.

If the heart is a garden, then we are constantly pulling weeds because we’re human. We are fallible. We are vulnerable to emotions and responses as old as time. To assume we are not, leaves us open for negativity to creep in and leak out. Here are just a few principles that help me remain positive even when the environment around me, when the culture around me, would tug me centrifugally into the negative.

1. “Rejoice with those who rejoice…”

This is actually taken from a passage of scripture. You don’t have to be “religious” to appreciate a good principle, though, right? There are days when I feel discouraged on this path. If you’re a writer, you know how solitary and isolating and sometimes melancholic this journey can be. Days when I ask myself is this really what I’m supposed to be doing? Days when the sales or reviews or whatever barometer of that moment cause me to question my direction. On those days, it can be tough to look to your left or your right and see others flourishing. To see them hitting all cylinders, and it’s those moments that leave the door ajar for one of the nastiest, most stubborn weeds that will literally choke the joy out of this journey.

2. Jealousy.

I know it sounds weird, but I don’t allow myself jealousy. I know what the beginnings of it feel like. I remember giving in to it, but the same way we form habits around our eating, fitness, time – we can form habits of our heart. Jealousy is a weed in this garden, and I will ruthlessly pull it from the root. One of the habits I am constantly cultivating to counter even the beginning of jealousy is celebrating with others.

No matter what.

Even if I feel that twitch, I will celebrate and congratulate and make that person feel the good will. Truly believe that I wish them only the best. And it’s not phony. Not inauthentic. It is following through on the vision I have of who I want to be. I want to be kind, so I don’t wait to feel kind. I am kind. I behave kindly. I want to be gracious, so I don’t wait to feel gracious. I behave graciously. When you want to be strong or fit, you don’t wait to feel strong or fit, you exercise those muscles. An action is required to reach your goal. This is an underused muscle for many of us, but if you exercise it on a consistent basis, you are soon not just celebrating for the sake of this habit. You ARE happy for others. And never is the opportunity more ripe than when someone else succeeds.

3. Push ahead. Pull up.

Promoting others, looking for ways to help others succeed is something I love to do. I don’t know when it shifted from this is something I’ll do because it uproots those weeds, to something I genuinely relish, but it did. When my friends, old and new, have books coming, they know I’m going to be shouting so loudly for them. I sign up for their cover reveals and release day blitzes. I look for ways to leverage any platform I have to promote other writers. I share their good news by twitter, Facebook , Instagram, and carrier pigeon.

I could look at someone more successful and say, they don’t need my help. Who am I? I could look at someone even newer to the game than I am, and think they can’t do anything for me, but I don’t live my life with that agenda-based crap thinking, and I’m certainly not going to manage my career that way. It really isn’t about that. I get so much from this. That habit of my heart that creates a positive force field around me.

Anyone who steps into my orbit long enough knows, if I can help them in any way, I will. Unequivocally. And this next nugget is for free. Positivity is its own reciprocity. I don’t pout when someone I promoted, doesn’t promote me. There is someone I want to be; a condition of my heart that I cultivate that has nothing to do with if the favor is returned. It is its own reward.

4. Your success is just that. Yours.

The success of someone else does not diminish your potential. It does not detract from your possibilities. There are enough readers to go around, and they are constantly looking for the next book to read. Focus less on envying someone else’s hard-won or even got-a-lucky-break success, and more on your path. On being the best you possible. Writing your best book. Doing your best work.

When you truly believe that your success is so much more about how you manage your lane, and so much less about what someone else is doing in theirs, it liberates you to do the first two things I mentioned. You can celebrate when they succeed because your success is this thing completely separate from theirs. You can push someone ahead of you and pull someone who is behind because you’re not afraid they’ll get too far ahead or they will pass you from the back. You have your lane. You have your path. And what is for you, is for you. That is bedrock to celebrating others’ success and to promoting those around you.

Insecurity is a nasty, aggressive weed. It will kill everything healthy that could grow for you. Jerk it out. Spray it with pesticide. Show it no mercy.

5. Not Pollyanna.

My commitment to a positive life could easily be mistaken for naiveté. Don’t confuse positivity with Pollyanaism. I’m not perfect. I might sometimes say something I regret. Do something I regret, but I try hard not to say anything behind someone’s back I don’t feel confident I could say to their faces. When I have a problem with someone, I want to take it up with them, not talk with a lot of others about it.

These are what I call Grown Folks rules. Just basic responsibility for your words and actions that every adult should assume. I know when I have violated one of these rules because I feel it. It feels slimy, and it’s not worth it. I may slip every once in a while, but I try to stick to them, and to surround myself with folks who share that commitment.

I will assume the best about a person until they show me the worst. Once you show me the worst, I believe in forgiveness, because bitterness is a nasty weed, too, that will poison your peace. I forgive other people just as much for my sake as for theirs! And you won’t find me badmouthing folks who have done me wrong, but they probably won’t be in my inner circle. As hard as you fight to keep your own garden clear of weeds, the last thing you want polluting the space around you is someone else’s negative habits and intentions. If you’re not willing to keep your space positive, I’ll like you from a distance. :-)

These are just a few things I do to manage my garden. I can’t cross over into your yard. Look over your fence and manage yours. I can only tell you what has helped me live a positive life and has made me, in the process, a ruthless gardener.

What are your tricks for staying positive? What do you struggle with the most?

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About Kennedy

Kennedy Ryan writes contemporary romance and women's fiction. Her Bennett Series books - When You Are Mine, Loving You Always and the newly released Be Mine Forever - are all available under the "Forever Yours" imprint of Hachette Books. Kennedy always gives her characters their happily ever after, but loves to make them work for it! It's a long road to love, so sit back and enjoy the ride.

In an alternative universe and under her government issue name, Tina Dula, she is a wife to the love of her life, mom to a special, beautiful son, and a friend to those living with autism through her foundation Myles-A-Part., serving Georgia families.

Her writings on Autism have appeared in Chicken Soup for the Soul, and she has been featured on the Montel Williams Show, NPR, Headline News and others. Ryan is donating a portion of her proceeds to her own foundation and to her charitable partner, Talk About Curing Autism (TACA).

Her interview series MOMMIES DO THE MOST AMAZING THINGS is featured each month in Brooke Burke's online magazine Modern Mom.

Find Kennedy at http://kennedyryanwrites.com/ or on social media at Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, YouTube or Google+.

Top photo credit: Onions growing via photopin (license)

Densie Webb

I recently read a blog post titled something to the effect “You Don’t Need Support to Write.” I couldn’t disagree more. Writing in a vacuum, without someone to give you honest feedback, occasionally shake their pompoms in your face or send you emails with lots of exclamation points congratulating you on your latest achievements, is somehow less satisfying. It’s certainly less motivating. For me, anyway. However, the support may not come from the sources you expect.

Book dedications and acknowledgements often laud husbands or wives for their undying support and belief in the author’s talent and future as a writer. Other times it’s dedicated to parents or children who inspired the author to write.

My debut novel was released last month, and my support system included none of those. My parents are gone, so that’s out. I have a husband and I have kids, but here’s the deal: I write and edit for a living, but my husband doesn’t understand my need to write outside of my day job, with no guarantee of money landing in the bank. I feared he would burst my enthusiasm-filled writing balloon, so I decided early on to leave him out of the loop. My novel is out and he doesn’t have a clue.

Okay I see eyebrows raising, mouths agape.

You’re not alone. I was at the Writers Unboxed Unconference in Salem, MA in November and someone asked me what my husband thought of my impending book release. Was he excited for me? Proud? When I told her he didn’t know, she looked at me as if I had told her he beat me daily. She was feeling sorry for me, but she looked so aghast I think I felt worse for her.

I was recently at an author’s reading in Austin, Texas. Her husband attended and clapped the loudest. He even let out a “whoop” at one point. I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t ache with envy just a wee bit. But I know I made the right decision to keep my “other life,” my writing life, to myself.

I tried for over a year to get my 19-year old daughter to read one of my many drafts, but she always found an excuse. At first I was disappointed and hurt, but I came to the conclusion that she was afraid she wouldn’t like it. She’s a terrible liar and she didn’t want to hurt my feelings if it was a thumbs down. My book with its romantic story line wouldn't remotely interest my son. I didn’t even ask.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not a pity party. I found an awesome support system in my local critique groups, close friends and online writers’ tribes like WriterUnboxed, Women’s Fiction Writers Association and SheWrites. They all offered advice and counsel and/or read countless drafts that helped me become a published author.

No, I’m not complaining. At all. This is me urging you to find your own support system, even if it’s not the one you wanted or expected. Here’s my take on where you can turn to for support, colored by my own experience.

Family

If you’re comfortable bringing your family into the fold, just know that any feedback or encouragement you receive may be colored by their love for you and concern for your feelings. Take whatever they say with the proverbial grain of salt. On the other hand, if you think they’ll offer up only nagging questions “When are you going to finish that book?” or discouragement “You’re not getting paid?” keep your writing endeavors to yourself as long as possible. Trust me on this one.

Friends

Your BFF may be more honest, especially if he or she is a writer or editor. But don’t let negative comments get in the way of friendships. It’s not worth it. Harsh feedback from your family may rankle you, but they’re still your family. Friendships can end over negative feedback of your (or their) writing. Before asking for feedback, be honest with yourself—are you expecting an honest critique or simply praise and kudos from a good friend?

Online Critiquers

All I can say about this option is “caveat emptor.” There are several online critiquing websites you can try. Some are writing organizations that offer critique matching in a 1 to 1 exchange. Others use a "credit system" that require you to critique others’ work before you earn the right to submit your own.

Here are some resources that worked well for me - I hope you'll add your own finds down in the comments. If you need even more resources, here's a great post by Cathy Yardley at The Write Life.

Critique Matching

• Women's Fiction Writers Association: their critique group program
• Writer Unboxed: there is critique matching via their private Facebook group
• SheWrites: http://www.shewrites.com/page/getting-started-2

Critiques with Credits

• Critique Circle: www.critiquecircle.com
• Faith Writers: http://www.faithwriters.com/critique-circle.php
• Critique.org: http://www.critique.org/

I’ve been burned twice. Once I spent hours editing, making comments on a full manuscript, expecting the same in return, but received almost nothing back. Another exchange ended with a note from the author that she couldn’t wait for me to get back to her. She had self-published, but didn’t tell me until after I had sent back the critiqued 300+page document. Advice: Try to know a bit about who’s on the other end and if they’re only interested in receiving feedback, not giving it.

Local Critique Groups

If you live in mid-size to large city, this is likely an option. You can typically attend a meeting or two to decide if the group is right for you and if you’re getting the kind of feedback and support you need. Meetup.com is a good source for local groups of all kinds. You can find groups for mystery writers, sci-fi writers, women writers, screenwriters and pretty much everything in between. Attending is often free or with a minimal fee.

If you can’t find what you want, you can organize your own group. Just know that it will be open to everyone and that it’s often a revolving door of attendees.

The Bottom Line

Don’t let disinterest, a lack of understanding or enthusiasm from those you care about bring you down or influence your desire/need to write. Be cautious and informed before entering into a give-and-take critiquing relationship, so that you don’t end up being the only one who’s giving.

I found and developed my own support system through trial and error—dear friends willing to give me honest feedback, my critique groups, and my online tribes who were genuinely thrilled for me when my book was published. Depend on each other - it's writing friends who help you get through. And here’s a heads up, guys: I’ll be leaning on you again for novel #2.

Some other posts at WITS that might help:

• 10 Power Tips for Building a Great Critique Group
• Critique Groups: How To Find Your Dream Team
• Critique Groups: Prepare for Change
• How To Build Your Writing Team

Do you belong to a critique group? How did you find them? What organization or group has helped you the most in your writing journey?

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About Densie

Densie Webb has spent a long career as a freelance nonfiction writer and editor, specializing in health and nutrition, and has published several books and tons of articles on the topic over the years. She is a member of the Women’s Fiction Writers Association and SheWrites. Soul Mate Publishing released her debut novel titled, “You’ll Be Thinking of Me,” as an ebook in January. The audiobook and paperback will be released later this year.

Densie grew up in Louisiana, spent 13 years in New York, and settled in Austin, TX, where it’s summer nine months out of the year.  She is an avid walker (not of the dead variety, though she loves anything to do with zombies, vampires or post-apocalyptic worlds), drinks too much coffee and has a small “devil dog” that keeps her on her toes.

Hands photo credit: we are the world via photopin (license)