Writers in the Storm

By Janice Hardy, @Janice_Hardy

If you Google “book doctor” you’ll get pages of folks willing to analyze your book and tell you what’s wrong with it. While this might be a helpful option for some, not everyone can afford to pay for this type of advice. But never fear, because with a little objectivity (and a plan), you can give your novel a checkup all on your own.

One of the reasons a good book doctor is so successful, is that they look at a story without all the emotional baggage us authors bring to our own work, and can analyze the critical elements of good storytelling. (We love our words. Our words are perfect, aren't they?)

The first step is to look at your manuscript as if you've never read it before. This can be hard because you do know your story, so let it sit for a month or two before taking a hard look at it. That will give you some distance so it's not fresh in your mind. And be ruthless. Pretend you paid good money for this book, and you want it to be worth every penny. What's not working?

Ask yourself:

Is the Tone Consistent?

Tone helps hold a novel together, like a soundtrack playing in the background. It tweaks the emotion at the right moment and nudges the reader toward what you want her to feel. If you’re writing a light and funny romance, your book had better be light and funny. Long angst-ridden passages probably aren’t hitting the right vibe and might need to go.

• Does the opening scene convey the tone of the novel?
• Is that tone consistent?
• Does the imagery and word choice reflect this tone?
• Does the tone change over the course of the novel? Should it?
• Does the tone enhance individual scenes to bring about the desired impact on the reader?

Is the Theme Clear?

Theme is the unifying force of a novel. It's what the book is about, and without it, a story can feel shallow at best, pointless at worst. Themes are what keeps a reader thinking about the book long after she's put it down.

• What is the theme (or themes)?
• Are there examples of this theme throughout the novel?
• How does the theme deeper the character arcs?
• Is the theme stated clearly in the opening chapters of the novel?
• Does the theme tie into the resolution of the novel?

Is the Plot and Structure Solid?

Structure holds a novel together. Each scene should move the story and plot forward, building on each other to form a cohesive novel. It's not just a series of dramatized moments from someone's life, but characters making choices that affect them and others.

• Does every scene have a goal and consequences if that goal isn't met?
• Is there an inciting event within the first 30 pages (or 50 for longer books) that puts the protagonist on the path to the rest of the novel?
• Is there a moment at the 25% mark where the protagonist makes the choice to pursue the story problem?
• Does something happen in the middle of the book that changes how the story problem is viewed?
• Is there a dark moment or setback at the 75% mark that sends the protagonist into the climax?
• Is there a clear "win" for the protagonist at the climax? Something she has to do in order to succeed?

Are the Stakes High Enough?

Stakes make or break a story, because if the reader doesn't care if the protagonist wins, she doesn't keep reading. Low stakes is a common problem with stories that aren't quite making it but the author isn't sure why. If the protagonist can walk away from the problem and nothing in her life changes for the worse, then the stakes aren't high enough.

• Will the protagonist's life change for the worse if she fails to achieve her goals?
• Are the stakes big enough to be worth the reader's time?
• Do the stakes affect the protagonist personally?
• Do the stakes escalate as the novel progresses?
• Are the stakes clear from the beginning of the story?
• Are their stakes in every scene? (doesn't have to be the same stake)

Is There Enough Conflict?

Conflict is an often misunderstood word. It's easy to assume it means fighting, but conflict is just two sides opposed to the same goal. It can be adversarial (bad guy wants to nuke the city, good guy wants to stop him) or friendly (sister wants to win the race, brother wants to win the race). It can be different approaches to the same goal between friends, or even conflict within oneself.

• Is someone or something opposing the protagonist in every scene?
• Is the bad guy working against the protagonist?
• Are there personal beliefs in conflict?
• Are there philosophical differences that cause the protagonist trouble?
• Is it ever too easy for the protagonist to achieve her goal?
• Do coincidences work to aid the protagonist instead of hindering her?

Is There a Strong Narrative Drive?

Narrative drive is the force that moves the story along. It's the reason the characters do what they do and makes the plot feel as though it's going somewhere and not just wandering aimlessly.

• Does the protagonist have a plan of action?
• Is the motivation for that action clear?
• Is there a story point to every scene?
• Is that point clear from the start of the scene?
• Is the protagonist making decisions that change how the story unfolds?
• Are there story questions dropped throughout the story that readers want answers to?
• If you took the scene out, would the plot change?

Is There Tension?

Tension works on micro and macro levels. It's the big face-off between hero and villain, or it's the small nail-biting moment waiting to see if one character notices something. It's what makes a reader stay glued to the page to see what happens next.

• Is there tension on every page? (A reason the reader keeps reading)
• Is there tension between characters? (good and bad)
• Is there tension between characters and the setting?
• Are there moments when the protagonist is relaxed? (if so, how can you shake her up?)
• Is there an unanswered question in every scene?
• When one question is answered, does another take its place?

Are There Character Arcs?

Like plot moves the story, character arcs move the theme. Characters typically grow and learn something over the course of the novel and are changed forever by this experience. No growth can leave a story feeling flat.

• What does the protagonist learn over the course of the novel?
• What lie is she telling herself/does she believe at the start of the novel?
• When does she realize it isn't true?
• What does she want most of all as a person?
• Does the external plot facilitate her achieving this personal desire?
• What is she most afraid of?
• When does she face this fear?

Are the Characters Fully Formed?

Characters are the souls of the story, and the more developed and real they are, the more drawn in to the story the reader will be. People are flawed and wonderful at the same time, with layers and complexities that often contradict each other.

• Are the characters flawed in ways that affect their decisions in the story?
• Do they have virtues that affect their decisions in the story?
• Do they have contradiction beliefs?
• Do they have backstories that have shaped the person they are now?
• Are those backstories relevant?
• Are the motivations plausible?
• Are the characters fully formed people or clichés or stereotypes?
• Do the characters have different approaches toward things?
• Are the supporting characters as developed as the main characters?

Does the Dialog Sound Natural?

Stilted dialog can stop a story cold or make it feel melodramatic and cheesy. Good dialog captures the essence of real life conversations without the awkward pauses and interruptions that actually happen.

• Do the characters sound like real people?
• Does each character have a unique voice and style of speaking?
• Is there any "As you know Bob" dialog that info-dumps or tells that should be cut?
• Do characters use language suitable to their status, age, or cultural situation? (for example, five-year-olds don't typically sound like college professors unless there's a reason)
• Is the dialog actual conversations or just two people stating information at one another for the readers' benefit?
• Are they telling each other things they already know?
• Are there empty dialog phrases slowing the pacing down? (pointless small talk)

Is the Setting Developed?

A well-develop setting and world helps draw the reader in and immerses her in the story. A badly developed setting or world leaves her confused and frequently jarred out of the story.

• Does every scene start by grounding the reader in the setting? (where applicable)
• Is the setting clear from the start of the book?
• Are there enough specific details that show the setting, or is it too general for a clear picture?
• Does the point of view character share her thoughts and views on the world around her?
• Does the setting or world make sense?
• Are their people interacting with the world or is it just a backdrop?
• Is too much focus spent on the setting descriptions?

Is the Pacing Working?

Pacing is the speed at which the reader learns information. Longer sentences slow the pace down, shorter sentences pick the pace up. Dialog (internal and external) typically reads quicker than description and stage direction. Too fast can be exhausting, while too slow can be boring.

• Is the pacing consistent with the genre?
• Does the pacing speed up during major plot moments?
• Are there waves of fast and slow pacing throughout the novel?
• Is the pace quick enough to keep readers reading?
• Are there any slow spots?
• Are there any spots that are too fast and the reader has trouble absorbing the information?
• Are there any spots that encourage reading skimming that should be revised?

This is only a small sampling of possible things to look at, but they should give you a solid plan for examining your novel for trouble spots.

What things do you look for when you're evaluating a manuscript?

Janice Hardy always wondered about the darker side of healing. For her teen fantasy trilogy THE HEALING WARS, she tapped into her own dark side to create a world where healing was dangerous, and those with the best intentions often made the worst choices. Her books include THE SHIFTER, BLUE FIRE, and DARKFALL. She lives in Georgia with her husband, three cats and one very nervous freshwater eel. You can chat with her about writing on her blog, The Other Side of the Story, or find her on Twitter @Janice_Hardy.

Janice is presenting her "It's Showtime! Show, Don't Tell" workshop at the SCBWI Southern Breeze WiK Conference in Birmingham, AL on October 12. Non-SCBWI members are welcome to attend.

Mark your calendar for next Wednesday. Writers in the Storm is gearing up the fanfare for the launch of an exciting new feature. To celebrate there will be bonus posts--and more.

by Erin Brown

You’ve slaved for months, years—perhaps decades--to finish your manuscript. You’ve tackled all-nighters, tear-your-hair-out rewrites, grueling self-imposed deadlines. You’ve grappled with creative juices that either flowed until you were drunk with brilliant narrative or dried up to leave you parched, devoid of inspiration, sobbing onto your keyboard.

You get my drift. You’ve poured your heart and soul into this baby of yours. You’ve reached the point when you want to start submitting to agents or self-publish.

Of course I might be biased, but based on fifteen years in the business, your manuscript and chances at success will only improve if you have an editor review your manuscript so that it’s grammatically clean and the plot, characters, pacing, description, dialogue, and narrative are up to par.

Remember that you don’t get a second chance to make a first impression with an agent or your readers.  The writers that dig in their heels and decide not to hire or listen to their editor usually never make it out of the starting gate.

So what happens when you get it into the hands of an editor—whether it be a freelancer (like moi—the best kind, of course) or an editor at a publishing house (wow, also fabulous and just like me—at least in my past Manhattan life)? You couldn’t be happier! Finally, someone to tell you how wonderful your writing is! To affirm what you’ve known all along: that your novel/memoir/epic saga/brilliant tome will change the literary world as we know it.

But what happens when you get back the editor’s notes (insert ominous music here)?

“Hey! This isn’t what I signed up for—there’s red all over this damn thing! She’s rewritten half of chapter one! She wants me to completely get rid of the elfin king/swashbuckling sidekick/sickly grandmother/omniscient narrator/the last half of the book!”

This is a travesty and not what you signed up for, right?

Wrong. This is an editor’s job. To make a manuscript the best it can be based on years of experience, knowledge of the industry (hopefully, if you get a good one), and their honed skills of enhancing storytelling and writing.

More often than not, how a writer works with their editor makes all the difference between a good final product and a bad one. This relationship is what separates a smart writer from a—ahem—not-so-smart one.

You must have faith in your editor, in their knowledge, in their experience. If not, what’s the point of having an editor? And yes, you do need one. Everyone needs one, even the most brilliant writers, and the smartest writers embrace what their editors do for their books—which is to make their “baby” that much stronger.

Whether the manuscript comes back to you covered in red (and early in a career, most do, so don’t fret!) or if there are a few simple, but significant suggestions here and there—these edits are made in order to make your book better.

Even if you simply hire a freelance editor to clean up your manuscript in terms of grammar so that you don’t embarrass yourself when you begin the submission process, it’s almost always advisable to get someone (not a family member or friend) to review your work. And usually hiring an editor to give advice on content is even more valuable.

Here are the steps to getting the most out of your editor:

1. Throw your ego out the window.

Once you’ve written ten bestsellers, then you can pooh-pooh your editor’s suggestions (however, if you’ll read some of these bestsellers later in the career of an “Author with a Big Ego,” you’ll find yourself asking, “Sheesh, didn’t this guy have an editor?” Yes! But he didn’t listen to his editor because Mr.-Fancy-Pants-Author-Who-Got-Too-Big-for-His-Britches thought he knew everything. He didn’t.

*Note: please feel free to appreciate my double pantaloons cliché.

An editor exists to strengthen “your baby,” not tell you that you’re fantastic. You have a wife or husband, and eventually a publicist, to do that.

2. Once you’ve picked yourself off the floor after reading the edits and suggestions, dust yourself off, embrace the revision process, and get to work.

Once you begin revising and/or incorporating your edits, you will find that ninety percent of the time, indeed, the changes are strengthening your work.

You’ll experience, “Damn, why didn’t I think of that” moments. The reason you didn’t? Because a fresh set of eyes is essential. You’re too close to the work to see the flaws and what is needed to take it to the next level.

3. Learn from the editor’s changes and suggestions.

Feel free to ask “why” and “how” so that you’ll be able to give your future manuscripts a stronger self-edit. You will learn from the edits, and in the next go-round, there won’t be as many. Keep in mind, however, that even the most prolific writer needs revision work . . . and the smart ones know and welcome it.

4. It’s okay to question your editor’s suggestions if you feel very strongly about something.

You can stick to your guns in certain instances, but pick your battles. Working with a freelancer, it’s your prerogative to ignore every piece of advice they give you (although a waste of money), but in the case of an editor at a publishing house—the one that bought your book—it’s not advisable to lock horns in combat over every change.

Why? For one, your relationship with your champion at the publishing house will sour. Two, if your editor is reputable (choose wisely, my friend), they probably know what they’re talking about and your manuscript will only get better. And three, no one likes a pain-in-the-ass writer who thinks he’s all that and a bag of chips.

The most amazing and successful authors I’ve ever worked with are those who accept revisions and edits (not blindly, but because they recognize the worth of the revisions) and then embrace the revision process.

***

If you find an editor and follow these steps, I can almost guarantee that your manuscript will be exponentially stronger after a round (or two or three) of revisions. Smart and successful writers embrace their editor and recognize them as both their cheerleader and partner in the process of making a book the absolute best it can be.

A smart author has to check their ego at the door, put faith in their editor, but still be strong enough to know when to pick their battles. Allow your editor to guide and help you to be the best writer you can be. Chances are, you’ll take “your baby” from good to great.

So, it's your turn. Have you had a good experience with an editor? Have you ever considered hiring one on your own?

About Erin

Erin Brown is a professional editor and has worked for almost a decade at several large New York publishing houses.

She began her publishing career at HarperCollins Publishers, where she worked in virtually every genre, including mystery, romance, literary fiction, women’s commercial fiction, and non-fiction. She was privileged to work with numerous bestselling authors including J.A. Jance, Bruce Feiler, Elizabeth Peters, Jerrilyn Farmer, Lawrence Block, Carolyn Hart, and Mary Daheim. She was also part of the fabulous St. Martin’s Press team as an editor with the Thomas Dunne Books imprint. There, she enjoyed acquiring fabulous debut novels and editing such bestselling authors as Carole Matthews, Madeleine Wickham (a.k.a. Sophie Kinsella), Homer Hickam, Robin Pilcher, and many more.

After almost a decade in New York City, Erin and her husband returned to their hometown of Austin, Texas, where Erin began a thriving freelance editorial business with her website www.erinedits.com. Although she often misses the chaotic hustle and bustle of Manhattan, she is now free to concentrate on what she loves the most: working directly with aspiring authors to get their work into the best shape possible before submitting to agents and houses.

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/dietpoison/79693940/">_ambrown</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">cc</a>

Before we get to the awesome Shannon Donnelly, I wanted to be sure you all saw the winner of Tiffany Lawson Inman's critique: Angela Quarles!

By Shannon Donnelly

I just finished reading a story that had a major problem—no sparkage between the hero and heroine. Even worse, there was plenty of sparkage between the heroine and a secondary male character. I started rooting for her to get together with that guy, that that started me thinking about sparkage—where does it come from, and how do you get more of it on the page?

The problem with the story mentioned is that while the secondary male character was a jerk, he was a charming jerk. He admitted his flaws, which made him more likeable. He had a past, too, and was trying to do better, which made it easy to relate to him (don’t we all want to do better?). He also had problems that put him in big conflicts with the heroine. Finally, she also didn’t start to drool and fawn over him—they had sparkage going due to rubbing up against each other's personalities.

So here’s my take away for what I like to do to get sparkage. The things I go for are:

Personality conflicts. This goes beyond misunderstandings or mild differences of opinion, or even external conflict. I’m talking  base values that are in opposition—as in the Old Couple. They had sparkage due to one being a neat-freak and the other being a slob. Of course, to set up different values, I have to know their values to start with. It’s no good just having a hero, I’ve got to know his personality (and how it sparks against the heroine’s personality) and how this gives these two different approaches to life.

Flaws that rub. These can’t be random—her flaws have to hit his, and his need to hit hers. I want these two to realize very quickly that the other person does have flaws, and that those are deal-breaker issues. (Having them mirror each other is a great way to do this, too.) This can make for a couple that spark off each other like metal on flint.

The no-way Street. Immediate attraction is overdone these days and almost always comes across as weak. Yes, we’ve all seen someone who gets a second look. But that’s not sparkage—that’s going to end up being description. So attraction needs to be overlaid with a heavy dose of no-can-do (and I’m not just talking a character thinking about the other person being off-bounds, I want to show how these two cannot have a stable relationship at the start of the story. I want them on a 'no-way is this going to work' street so the reader wants to read how this is going to work (that’s the fun.)

Proximity. It’s really, really hard to get sparkage going if you have the hero and heroine in different locales. It’s like putting that flint and the metal in different drawers—the lack of interaction means a big lack in the story. But…here’s the trick—it can’t be contrived. I always want very good reasons for the characters to be together, and those reasons have to make it to the page.

Dialogue. The secondary character in the story I mentioned above had great lines (as did the heroine) due to their conflicting goals, and their personal issues. This made them a lot of fun for me, the reader—I started rooting for them to be together because they were fun together.  The hero also didn’t get to have those great lines since the heroine was tongue-tied around him, which made them a dull couple. Too often I see folks putting all the great lines into thoughts instead of letting the characters say the stuff we all want to say—hey, this is where you want to have more fun so the reader has fun with your characters. I always want my characters talking—a lot!

Awareness. A character’s awareness of another person doesn’t have to be so much them thinking about the sexiness of the other person, but more on the awareness that the other person is a “match” for them. I like the awareness to be on the “personality” more than the “person.” As in I try to make sure my characters don’t want to lose a single point to the other person. In the story I mentioned the heroine and the secondary character were on their best game—they were out to get something, and were willing to do whatever it took to get it. When a character’s awareness is focused on getting what they want (or getting the other character to do what they want) that’s going to make for sparkage.

What all this means is my goal is to set up romantic couples as if it really is impossible at the start of the story for them to have a relationship. Thier personality, desires, and everything else I can think of clashes. It’s not that they find the other person desirable—it should be the opposite, in fact. I want characters who are certain that the other person is the last one they want to get involved with—but the sparkage makes it irresistible not to go back and get the best of that other person. That, in my opinion, is what leads to the start of a beautiful friendship—and then more.

How about you? What do you use to make your characters spark?

Shannon Donnelly’s writing has won numerous awards, including a RITA nomination for Best Regency, the Grand Prize in the "Minute Maid Sensational Romance Writer" contest, judged by Nora Roberts, RWA's Golden Heart, and others. Her writing has repeatedly earned 4½ Star Top Pick reviews from Romantic Times magazine, as well as praise from Booklist and other reviewers, who note: "simply superb"..."wonderfully uplifting"....and "beautifully written."

Her Regency romances can be found as ebooks on all formats, and with Cool Gus Publishing, and include a series of four novellas.

She also has out the Mackenzie Solomon, Demon/Warders Urban Fantasy series, Burn Baby Burn and Riding in on a Burning Tire, and the Urban Fantasy, Edge Walkers. Her work has been on the top seller list of Amazon.com and includes Paths of Desire, a Historical Regency romance.

She is the author of several young adult horror stories, and computer games. She lives in New Mexico with two horses, two donkeys, two dogs, and only one love of her life. Shannon can be found online at sd-writer.com, facebook.com/sdwriter, and twitter/sdwriter.

Her Urban Fantasy, Burn Baby Burn, is free on Amazon.com from September 1 to the September 5.

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/silverdragonfly/6262629758/">©SilverDgfly</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">cc</a>