Writers in the Storm

By Laura Drake

We love seeing what our readers are up to - so here's your chance!  This month, I'm thinking about middles, since I'm near the middle of my WIP, and worrying about sagging (and for once, it's not about my butt).

So here's your assignment:

Go to your WIP (or one of your other books,) turn to the middle (no cheating) and share a paragraph  or so  in the comments (no more than 200 words, and only one, please.)

Here are ours...

Laura (from my latest, Her Road Home):

The front door slammed open, admitting a woman who, at first glance, looked like a high society matron. A soft pink sleeveless silk shell was tucked into expensively tailored buff linen slacks. Her well-cut hair, with perfect subtle tones of blonde screamed exclusive hairdresser. Her face suggested good breeding, with high cheekbones and a refined nose. She was tanning-bed brown and society thin.

And drunk. Not the falling down variety, or even the speech slurring version, but Sam knew the subtle signs. Her linen slacks were rumpled, and a watermark stain darkened the silk blouse. Her hair pressed flat on one side, and her makeup was smeared. All these could be attributable to the late hour, but Sam knew better.

Sharla (from "Felling A Timberman"):

Noelle stopped dead in the doorway, shocked.

A ledger lay open at the foot of the bed and wads of paper were scattered like jettisoned snowballs all over the floor. An ink-stained sheet covered Vidar’s lap, and his blankets lay in a snarled heap on the floor. Worse, the water pitcher on his nightstand had tipped over, soaking the blankets.

“It’s about time,” he grumbled. “Where did you hide my britches?

A weeks worth of pent up irritation drove into the room. “Listen, Timber Beast, I --” She stumbled and watched helplessly as the tray sailed out of her windmilling hands. Dishes crashed as she belly flopped onto the damp heap blankets beside his bed.

Gulping a breath of air, she pushed to her feet. “Y-e-u!” Syrupy porridge oozed between her fingers.

A bark of laughter followed by chortles and snorts erupted from the miscreant lounging in bed.

Noelle turned on him, raising a sticky fist. “You, ungrateful sidewinder! Don’t you dare laugh at me!” She eyed the mess she’d have to clean up. Too bad the ornery coyote laughing his fool head off had escaped unscathed.

Jenny (from her WIP, A Sister In Need):

Agatha couldn’t help it. She crossed herself. Vigorously. “Child, were you hurt?”

“Christ Jesus. No, I wasn’t hurt.” He brayed with laughter. “You know, my Aunt Genevieve’s a nun and she crosses just like you. They give all you penguins crossing lessons or what? Every time one of us gets drunk and starts cussing – and since we’re Irish, that’s like all the damn time – Aunt Genny practically knocks herself sideways crossing.”

Seeing the sheen of tears in Maureen's eyes, she crossed herself again for good measure, bowing her head and watching the gunman through her eyelashes.

When his laughter cut off midstream, and he ground his Glock into Maureen's neck, Agatha’s resolve began to tremble. Their hostage-taker was either on some sort of substance or he wasn’t quite sane. Neither scenario was going to be good for Mo.

Desperate to keep him talking, she asked, “Does your Aunt Genny wear a habit?”

“She wore a black habit last I remember, with the white thingie around her neck. And a really killer cross. Heavy. It used to whack us when she’d bend over to pick us up.”

Fae (from Contracting Joy, the second in the Keep Sphere novels):

The lights winked off, then the auxiliary power lit them again.  Tanner made for the tube access at a dead run and jumped in.  He’d checked the long range scan just minutes before, but it was possible that another ship had jumped in close beside them.  Too close, unless its crew meant to.  And the only reason a ship would jump so close to another was if they were . . .

Heart pounding, he hurtled himself out of the tube at the bridge opening and made for his station.  Before he settled in the chair, he tapped his screen to get confirmation of his fears.  Swarms of single and two-man ships nipped at the hull of the Cargo Runner.  Without a doubt, they were being attacked by pirates, and there wasn’t a damned thing as tactician he could do.

Orly (from her WIP, The Day The Merry-Go-Round Stopped):

I picture the old Hank with the paper-thin skin on his hands that accentuates every vein and the eyes that water slightly when he’s thinking about something. The Hank who talks to me about the colors he used on the carousel and how he decided where to place each animal. The Hank who asks who I am every couple of sentences. The Hank who squeezes my hand when he knows I need comfort and tells me to let go of the guilt because guilt is a useless emotion.

I picture the young Hank with the strong, wide hands and ready grin and the eyes that sparkle with the fun-to-come. The Hank who talks to Meera about dancing and running in the waves. The Hank who squeezes my hand searching for comfort that he did the right thing in letting me go and asks me to be happy to release his guilt.

Now it's your turn! We can't wait to see your work down in the comments section.

Today we welcome Lori Freeland to WITS for the first time! Welcome Lori!

I’d Like My Dialogue Cheeseless. Please.

Like a Lactose Intolerant prefers his pizza minus the gut-churning cheese, I want my dialogue devoid of dairy.

Have you ever heard agents or editors say they flip to the first section of dialogue and if it’s cheesy, they don’t bother with the read?

Here are five signs of cheesy dialogue.

I’ve used generic NO and YES examples below and put them in italics to distinguish from my comments.

1.      Contractions.

Unless English is your second language, or your character has passed the age of eighty, almost everyone uses contractions when they speak.

NO: “We are hitting the club tonight. What is up with you not wanting to dance anymore?”

YES: “We’re hitting the club tonight. What’s up with you not wanting to dance anymore?”

Contractions make speech natural and help dialogue flow.

2.      Name Calling.

How many times do we actually say someone’s name in a conversation? Unless I’m trying to get your attention in a crowd, I’m betting rarely to never. Pay attention to your verbal interchanges and count how many times you say someone’s name in real life.

NO: “Well, Jennifer, I didn’t like his attitude.”

“Too bad, Lisa. He’s your new partner.”

YES: “I didn’t like his attitude.”

“Too bad. He’s your new partner.”

Sticking in names is a major pace-killer in any dialogue unless you’re trying to make an important point or one of your character’s idiosyncrasies is name-calling. By the way, name-calling from a psychological standpoint shows inferiority. The person doing the naming feels “less than” the other person and is grappling for the advantage. Great tip to remember in a power struggle conversation.

3.      Improper Punctuation.

When you use a dialogue tag like “said” use a comma.

NO: “Not gonna happen.” He said.

YES: “Not gonna happen,” he said.

When you use an action beat to tag the speaker, use a period.

NO: “Not gonna happen,” he slammed the mug on the desk and stomped from the office.

YES: “Not gonna happen.” He slammed the mug on the desk and stomped from the office.

Notice how adding the action tells the reader how the dialogue is spoken? He’s angry. And now we see the anger.

4.      Speaking of Tags.

Said, asked, and sometimes whispered are invisible tags. Your reader will skim over them. In this case, skimming is a good thing. The tags identify the speaker and don’t mess with the tempo.

Using any other tag is a speed bump. Using any other tag plus an “ly” adverb? That’s a tire-shredder.

NO: “I’m out of here,” she hissed.

Contrary to popular belief, people can’t actually hiss words. Unless they’re part-snake or a character from Harry Potter.

NO: “I’m out of here,” she said angrily.

YES: “I’m out of here,” she said.

YES: “I’m out of here.” She whirled in her red heels and clicked out the door.

The best one? The action showing her anger.

5.      Who Said What?

Paragraph and tag properly.

If Character A is speaking, he needs his own paragraph. That way, when Character B responds, in her own paragraph, we can follow their back-and-forth exchange of wit like a game of Championship Ping Pong.

Each player (speaker) has their own side of the table (paragraph) with the proper space (white space between paragraphs) keeping them separate.

In a quick back-and-forth, you don’t need to tag every sentence. Unless there are more than two characters speaking. Then your dialogue gets trickier.

NO: “That movie sent chills to places chills don’t belong.” Amber shuddered. “I know, right?” Leah pretended to agree. What would Amber say if she knew the truth?

YES: “That movie sent chills to places chills don’t belong.” Amber shuddered.

“I know, right?” Leah pretended to agree. What would Amber say if she knew the truth?

Stuck together, the dialogue becomes a puzzle with the wrong pieces jammed together. Separated, the conversation becomes clear.

NO: “What did you think was gonna happen? “ He held up his fingers, his face contorted in what looked like major disgust. Just watching those hands drove me wild. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

YES: “What did you think was gonna happen? “ He held up his fingers, his face contorted in what looked like major disgust.

Just watching those hands drove me wild. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

In the NO above, we’re not sure which words and thoughts belong with each speaker. Paragraphed out, the conversation leaves no confusion.

Cheesy dialogue is one-hundred-percent avoidable. Get in the habit of writing for pace. Include fragments. Read your dialogue out loud. Have someone else read your dialogue out loud.

The art of conversation is just that—an art. It’s part of the craft like anything else. Being aware of which of the five signs of cheese above marks your weakness can change the entire way you write dialogue in the future.

Is dialog hard for you? If not, do you have any other tips for us?

Lori Freeland is a Young Adult author who lives in the Dallas Area. She has a short story out in the YA volume of Wild at Heart, has published numerous articles with various e-zines, is a former editor at The Christian Pulse, and works as a writing coach for the North Texas Christian Writers. Seriously addicted to flavored coffee with just the right amount of cream and chocolate covered peanuts, she spends her days tormenting imaginary people. In her BK—before kids—life, she earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and worked as a social worker and a dyslexic tutor. You can find Lori hanging out on Facebook, Twitter and her website—lafreeland.com.

 

 

Just a quick note: if you're getting ready to query, and are feeling overwhelmed by the prospect, Laura will be teaching an online class at Lawson's Writer's Academy beginning September 2, Submissions That Sell! You can get the details HERE.

by Sharla Rae

If we knew the next hottest genre, many of us would jump on that horse and take a ride.

But wait!

Since the 1990s, editors have chanted the same mantra, “Don’t worry about what’s hot, write the 'book of your heart.'”

Problem is, they didn’t really mean it OR we misunderstood what they meant. Many of us thought the statement meant we could write any genre we wanted as long as the book was well done with emotions that grabbed the heartstrings.

It turns out, that's not exactly true.

Oh sure, if editors receive a super book that blows them away, they “might” take a chance. But we’re talking one in a million -- especially in today’s ever-changing markets. And let’s be realistic. The economy isn’t that great. Editors want to keep their jobs and that means going with the flow and buying only the current high-earning genres.

How many of you have written the "book of your heart," only to receive a letter like this?

 Love your characters, love your plot, love your writing style, but we just can’t sell your book in the current market or it isn’t what we’re looking for.

An indie writer may choose to ignore a letter like this, but writers who want to "traditionally publish or bust" know that choosing a popular genre will probably be in their best interest.

Laurie Alice Eakes wrote about her take on this in the August issue of RWA [Romance Writers Report] in the article, It's All in Your Head: Writing from Your Heart While Writing for the Market, she wrote: "'Write from Your heart'" is the worst advice you will ever receive as a writer."

The argument goes that if a writer waits until a genre is hot, it’s already too late to catch that ride.  But look how long vampires have lasted!

This begs the question: Do publishers and agents know what the next hot genre will be?

I recently heard a young editor at a conference say that she believes watching the new wave of television programs is a very good way to predict the next hot fiction genre.

Ann Rice's book, Interview With A Vampire was made into a movie and the movie made the book more famous. From there we saw the Vampire rage take off. I suppose you could argue the age old question of which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Young people have their fingers on the pulse of everything new and I’ve seen writers follow their lead to develop popular genres. Checking into subjects of the latest and greatest YA books is definitely a consideration even for adult romance genres. Being around teens doesn’t hurt either. What entertains them? What scares them? How do they see the future? What fads are they into?

What else can we do to predict future popular genres?

They say history repeats itself, and I think this is also true in publishing.

DC Comic was founded in 1932 during the Great Depression that began in 1929. From these comics we gained Superman, Green Lantern, and other superheroes. During this difficult time, the stock markets crashed, people lost their jobs and many a family lived a hand-to-mouth existence.

Is it any wonder that young and old alike glommed onto escapism and hope in the form of fantasy and superheroes?

Along with these escapism stories came great realistic stories like Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath, a story of a family seeking hope in the form of jobs in California and later they hoped to better their lives and that of others, through labor unions.

Does this time period sound familiar? Could it explain why the paranormal, fantasy  and futuristics are again so popular?  Could it explain why strong women surviving tough odds in Women’s Fiction novels are so popular now? It just might.

The 30s and early 40s also had its share of sweeping technology: FM radio, stereo records, Nylon, jet engines etc. These might seem nothing compared to modern innovations, but at the time, they were every bit as important as our ever evolving computers and cell phones.

What about the more affluent, post war Fabulous Fifties? This period saw women being told they must leave their wartime jobs and return to their "traditional" roles.  Harlequin published many a romance about nurses, a traditional role for women who insisted on working outside the home. And don’t forget June Cleaver, the perfect TV mom in high heels!

Also during the 50s we saw many books and movies of teen rebellion, [Rebel Without A Cause] defiant young people who encouraged broader thinking than conservative parents who endured the depression as youngsters and then wartime. It was Sing Along With Mitch verses Elvis Presley. The dominant romances during this time were squeaky clean and most sex happened behind closed doors. But young people wanted it more real and times were changing.  So were the novels.

I could keep comparing time periods and the novels they produced, but I don’t have the time, research, or space here. Still, I think there’s at least a vague pattern that writers can see.

Perhaps choosing the next hottest genre is a matter of understanding the theme (s) of the times and choosing a genre that supports those themes and/or hopes. Who knows for sure? I don’t.

I think we can only try to understand what our readership/target audience wants, and then do our best to give it to them on a platform that best demonstrates our creative talent.

Okay, you knew I was going to ask this: What do you think the next hottest genre will be and why?  Will it make you change what you currently write?

Sharla has published three historical romance novels: SONG OF THE WILLOW, LOVE AND FORTUNE, and SILVER CARESS. SONG OF THE WILLOW, her first solo effort, was nominated by “Romantic Times Magazine” for best first historical.

When she’s not writing and researching ways to bedevil her book characters, Sharla enjoys collecting authentically costumed dolls from all over the world, traveling (to seek more dolls!), and reading tons of books. You can find Sharla here at Writers In The Storm or on Twitter at @SharlaWrites.