When romance writers create a Happily-Ever-After tale, there has to be more to the relationship than simply LUST between the hero and heroine. As many a woman has discovered in real life, lust doesn’t last forever. (Shh, don’t tell my husband!)
Whether you are writing an Erotic Romance, an Inspirational Romance or anything in between, you need to deepen that relationship to make the ‘forever’ believable.
Here are some of the elements you can show to convince your readers.
The hero is great with kids; we’d all want him to be the father of our children.
If there are simply no children around, you can fake the same message by having the hero be kind to dogs, cats or assorted other animals, particularly if they’re injured.
The hero protects/defends heroine from her enemies.
The hero’s actions are mentally heroic; he is a truth teller and/or has integrity in spite of possible negative repercussions to his own life.
The hero has the ability to have fun, or enhances the heroine’s sense of fun.
The heroine empathizes with the hero’s past, his problems, or his possible future; she senses his emotional needs and wants to fill them.
The hero and heroine share either common interests or values, or both, often in spite of apparent or superficial differences.
The hero intuitively understands and meets the heroine’s needs, both emotionally and in a sexual way (at the sensual level appropriate for your book). (Remember, we’re talking fantasy here.)
The hero talks to the heroine, revealing more of himself than he ever has before. That makes him vulnerable.
The hero admires/respects what the heroine does/is, and lets her know it, either directly or through his actions.
The heroine learns from others that the hero is a worthy person.
In terms of personality or emotional strength (not in a materialistic way), the hero/heroine provides what is lacking in the other.
The hero puts the heroine first and is willing to sacrifice something important for her – and she will sacrifice for him.
While all of these elements lend themselves to one or more scenes, they don’t have to all be in every story. Nor can you simply throw one or two in just for the fun of it.
Every element in your story must be integrated and evolve from the characters and plot.
Your readers want to believe this relationship you’ve created will last forever. Give them good reasons to keep the faith–and your book.
Did I leave any tried and true methods off the list? What is your favorite way to employ "Show Don't Tell" in your writing?
Happy writing, Char
Books that leave you smiling
Big Sky Family, Love Inspired, 10/19/2011 Montana Love Letter, Love Inspired, 10/2012 2011
Book Buyers Best Finalist www.CharlotteCarter.com
Writers In The Storm is delighted to welcome Janice Hardy to our blog. This ex-Writer's Digest instructor knows her stuff - if you're not already following her blog, The Other Side of the Story, you are missing out on an amazing writing resource!
She's even agreed to visit with us again next month, so please help us heap love and thanks upon her in the comments section. :-)
***********************
When you think about it, everything in a book is description, because the author is describing an entire story to you. But when it gets down to the actual details of what’s in that story, it’s not uncommon for things to bog down into the minutia of what something looks like. Looks aren’t nearly as important as the reasons behind why that item is there to be seen in the first place.
The bulk of your descriptions are likely to be in the setting. Describing the world, the locations your protag visits and moves through, the things they touch and use. But if you just throw them in there, they become as flat and lifeless as backdrops on a stage. Description does nothing to move a story forward on its own. It’s how it interacts with the characters that makes or breaks it. You want details that breathe life into both your characters and your setting.
Making Details Come Alive
Let’s take a few random details in a scene. Rain, a clock, a restaurant, a window, pancakes, and an envelope. You might have a passage like:
The rain poured down the window of the restaurant. Bob sat at the table, a stack of pancakes beside him. He stared at an envelope in his hands, while above him on the wall, a clocked ticked.
It’s not bad, but it has no life to it. The details do nothing to tell us more than what this scene looks like. Is Bob happy? Sad? Do you care what might be in that envelope? Probably not.
Now, let’s turn those same backdrop details into living details by thinking about:
1. Who’s doing the looking?
A Navy SEAL will look at things a lot differently than a scared girl. Take the knowledge and attitude of your point of view character into account when you decide what they see. Think about how they would describe something, not how you would.
Navy SEAL: The rain beat against the restaurant window like rounds from an Uzi. Bob sat at the table, back against the wall, a stack of uneaten pancakes beside him. He gripped the envelope tighter with every tick of the clock above him. New orders. Great.
Girl: Rain covered the window, masking the tiny restaurant with its blurriness. Bobbi slouched at the table, her head barely higher than the stack of pancakes beside her. The envelope lay in her lap. She didn’t want to touch it, let alone open it. She glanced at the clock and sighed. Running out of time.
Same details, but notice how different these are from the first backdrop one. There’s a sense of who the point of view character is and what problem they might be facing.
2. Why are they looking at it?
Sometimes you scan a room, sometimes you’re watching for something in particular, and sometimes you’re looking to escape with your life. Your reasons for looking impact what you see and how you feel about it. If your protagonist has no feelings at all about something, why is it in the scene? While not every detail has to matter at this level, using details to bring out an emotion or thought from your protagonist helps make the setting more memorable. It won’t just be details.
Example: It was still raining. Why did it always rain when these things happened? Bob sat at the table, a stack of “have to order or get out” pancakes beside him. The envelope lay next to it with just as much obligation on a single neatly folded letter inside. He glanced out the window and sighed. Stuck in a stinking roadside restaurant today of all days. Figured.
Can you tell Bob has to do something he doesn’t want to do? Does his pessimism and frustration come through? And all because of why he saw what was there and how he felt about it.
3. What is important to them?
People notice what’s important to them. What’s important to your protagonist? Both in general and in that scene. A girl obsessed with fashion might indeed notice what everyone is wearing, while a tired mom might not. Spending time on details that mean nothing to your protagonist (or seem weird for your protagonist to care about) risks pulling the reader out of the story.
Example: Rain pattered against the restaurant window like tiny running feet. Bob sat at the table, smiling a dumb happy grin, the stack of pancakes beside him. He looked at an envelope again. How could one letter make everything so much better? The clock ticked and he hummed along with it. “It’s mine, it’s mine, it’s mine.”
Any guesses as to what might be in that letter? The envelope and what’s in it are what matter to Bob, and the rest of the details are just there. But here, they don’t feel just there. Bob barely looking at them shows his preoccupation with the letter, and adds to hints as to what it said and his state of mind.
4. What is important to the scene or story?
Sometimes you need to put in a detail for plot reasons. Just tossing it in there might not be the best use of it though. Too obvious a description or too much focus is like shining a light on it for the reader. It practically screams “hey, pay attention here.” Maybe you want this, maybe you don’t, or maybe you want the clue to hide in plain sight for a surprise later. If something needs to be there and be seen, take a minute to think about how your protagonist might see it and how it can work with the scene, not just be in the scene.
Example: Bob slid into his usual booth by the window, watching the rain.
“What’s it gonna be today?” Sally asked.
“I think I’ll have the pancakes.”
“You got it, doll.” She tucked her pen behind her ear and turned. A pale blue envelope fluttered out of her order pad and floated to the floor.
“Hey, you dropped something.” Bob bent over and picked it up. Postmarked Columbia.
“What? Oh, that’s not mine.” Sally snatched the letter before he could read who it was addressed to.
“But I’ll toss it into the lost and found for you.”
“Uh, okay.” He glanced at the clock. “Put a rush on those pancakes, would you? I’ve got court at one.”
A longer passage, but it’s obvious the envelope is going to be important. So is that postmark. Could it have something to do with Bob’s court date? And does Sally know what it all means? The details help move the story and create interest in what’s going on.
5. What tone/theme/mood are you trying to achieve?
If you’re going for dark and creepy, describing bright and sunny is going to fight with your story, not help move it along. Small details can add to the emotion of a scene. They give you opportunities for similes and metaphors that flow seamlessly, because the detail evokes a feeling in your protagonist. They can help illustrate your theme in subtle (or not so subtle) ways. They can foreshadow and even raise the tension by evoking something foreboding or mysterious.
Example: Bob learned against the wall, watching the rain wash away what was left of his life. A photographer walked over his body in the restaurant’s doorway, shutter snapping the broken clock, the pancakes he’d never finish, the shattered window. The police paid more attention to the envelope clutched in his cold hand. Idiots.
I don’t think anyone’s going to mistake this for a comedy or a romance novel. The details are still the same, but they’ve adapted to suit the tone and gritty, sad feel of a guy seeing his own dead body.
Details mean different things to different people. How you show those details to the reader help the reader better understand not only what’s in the scene, but who’s in it as well. The right detail can instantly pique a reader’s interest and make them want to know more.
Don’t just create backdrops. Make your descriptions count.
How do you use details in your writing? Do you have any questions for Janice?
BIO: Janice Hardy always wondered about the darker side of healing. For her fantasy trilogy THE HEALING WARS, she tapped into her own dark side to create a world where healing was dangerous, and those with the best intentions often made the worst choices. Her books include THE SHIFTER, and BLUE FIRE. DARKFALL, from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. She lives in Georgia with her husband, three cats and one very nervous freshwater eel. You can visit her online at www.janicehardy.com, chat with her about writing on her blog, The Other Side of the Story, or find her on Twitter @Janice_Hardy.
On Monday, Laura Drake gave us amazing tips on How To Improve Our Pitching. I've got to admit, I was totally impressed.
As extroverted as I am, I'd almost rather get a root canal than go to a group pitching session. I've been to them and hated it. The best thing you can do is prepare and read Laura's post!
I haven't figured out if they are harder on the editors or the writers, but it's tough to pitch in front of strangers. But I have a secret for you: I've never, ever seen or heard of an editor in a group pitch that didn't give his or her card to all the participants.
You WILL make contacts at a conference, just by strapping on your titanium panties and showing up! Is that groovy or what? A conference is a chance to meet publishing professionals you'd never normally come in contact and start forming real relationships with them.
Woody Allen said, “80% of success is showing up.” That's certainly true for conferences of any type. Just the act of attending says you take your writing career seriously enough to invest in it.
How do you make the most out of your conference investment?
The real success formula for getting what you want out of a conference is to "show up" long before the event by doing your research. For example, I'm going to the DFW Conference in Dallas next month and the work has already begun.
The five main tasks I'm working on NOW - 37 days before conference - are:
Agent / Editor research
Author workshop research
Hotel research
Reaching out to everyone I know in the area, whether they're going to DFWCon or not.
Fashion Review
Am I working on my book? Yes.
Am I working on some courses I'll be launching around conference time? Absolutely.
But the other five items will make an enormous difference in the success or failure of my book and my new teaching endeavors. Trust me, I've been to conferences unprepared and you spend the entire time running to catch up. You don't want that.
My honey played football for fifteen years and had numerous coaches drill the "7 P's" into him. I'm sure my daughter will have them memorized by the second grade.
Let's take my five prep areas, in no particular order...
Agent / Editor research
a. Find a list of the agents and/or editors who will be there and research which ones are currently acquiring what you write.
I don't care if you spoke to them 3 years ago about your paranormal time-travel, if they now acquire contemporary YA they are probably not going to be your first choice this time around.
b. Agents are on the lookout for a great writer who fills a niche in their current author list. They are dying to meet you and your perfect book as much as you and your perfect book are dying to meet them. BUT! No stalking. Just act natural. In fact, the worst thing you can do for yourself when you meet your dream agent at lunch is to pitch. Editors and agents are people too, with hobbies and dreams and the need to eat their lunch. That being said, if they ask you what you write, the door is open for a discussion.
Do I have tips for meeting your dream agent and editor?
Oh, Mama, do I have tips!
Know whether any of their authors are at the conference.Most agents have a client list on their website. They are extremely proud of their authors and want to support them. So go where the authors are. If their author is giving a workshop, it's a pretty safe bet that the agent will be there. The goal is to find out more about THEM to see if they might be a good fit for YOU.
Go to the publisher workshops. At RWA's National convention each year, all the big publishers have a "Spotlight on..." workshop. The editors get up and talk about what they're looking to acquire, and who their new authors are. The Spotlight workshops give golden information...and they are PACKED with agents, who want to know what to pitch to these editors. I saw three of my dream agents in the audience at the Spotlight on St. Martin's workshop. Did I turn around in the front row and stare at them? No!
VOLUNTEER. Every chance you get at a conference, volunteer for something. Not only are you giving back to the overworked event organizers, but you might get to do something nifty like moderate a workshop for your dream publishing house, St. Martin's. (It was a definite SQUEEEE! moment in my life.) I've also net Julia Quinn, Joan Johnston and numerous other NYT authors . . . just because I volunteered.
Don't hide hang in your room unless you're sleeping or freshening up. I know that writing conferences are terribly wearing for the introverts - you're surrounded by people for several days and you need to be on ALL the time. Still, you must get involved in whatever way you are able. Ex: Find one of your favorite extroverts to help keep your nervousness at bay and pal around with them. Attend any parties or outings your chapter is throwing, trade notes on workshops with your tablemates at lunch. But get out there and mingle.
#1 mingling spot at every writing event is the hotel bar. I've been at this conference thing for 12 years now, and I can unequivocally state that the bar is where you meet a ton of people. This is where friendships are born or renewed, where pitches are practiced, and where deals are discussed. I'm not recommending that you have more than one alcoholic beverage every several hours, but DO make time to hang out in the bar. You'll be glad you did.
You remember at the top of this post, when I talked about hotel research?That's actually pretty important. For one thing, it directly affects your fashion choices. I check Weather.com for a 10 day forecast for the exact same reason.
What if the event is spread across TWO hotels as it was when I attended IBM PartnerWorld in Vegas?
What if we had to hike a half-mile or more to find any food under $20 like we did when I went to the RWA conference in D.C.?
Don't even get me started on the long lines you will stand in whenever you go to a hotel restaurant at mealtimes or to the potty between workshops.
Note: I highly recommend that you find some protein bars that you like and bring a case of those. Or do what I'm doing, and stay with a friend.
My last bit of advice on the fashion front: Read this excellent post by Virginia Kantra. This gal KNOWS how to pack for a conference!
I've got my fashion-conscious friends window-shopping for me since I hate to shop myself. (It takes a village to keep me from looking like a fashion disaster.)
Last, but not least, reach out to everyone you know in the conference area. We have so many friends online nowadays that live in far-flung places. Conference is the perfect time to get together with them, even if it's only for a coffee and a hug.
Or, you could do what I do, and arrange a meet-up in the bar...
What writing events do you recommend? Do you pitch? What's your best tip for stalking meeting the agent or editor of your dreams? We'd love to hear your tips!
About Jenny Hansen
Jenny fills her nights with humor: writing memoir, women’s fiction, chick lit, short stories (and chasing after her toddler Baby Girl). By day, she provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. After 15 years as a corporate software trainer, she’s digging this sit down and write thing.
When she’s not at her blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter at jhansenwrites and here at Writers In The Storm. Every Saturday, she writes the Risky Baby Business posts at More Cowbell, a series that focuses on babies, new parents and high-risk pregnancy.
