Writers in the Storm

By Janice Hardy

One of the problems with telling is that’s is often hard for writers to know when they’re doing it.

Show, don’t tell is subjective, which is why one rule doesn’t cover it all. It depends on the genre, the market, the audience, the point of view style, and even the narrative distance. What works for an omniscient third middle grade novel might feel told in a first-person romance written for adults. 

If you look at only the text, you risk missing “told prose” in your writing, since a sentence that technically shows can feel told in context. It’s important to examine the different levels of telling so you know what to look for.

Here are three places to look for told prose.

1. Telling at the Sentence Level

You’ll find most telling at the sentence level. Most of these types of tells can be caught by searching for common red flag words, such as because, since, or when.

Keep in mind “tell” is subjective. A sentence can tell and still read and work fine. It’s up to you to decide if the sentence would be stronger with or without the telling. Such tells include:

Telling that Explains

These explain the reasons why characters feel or act as they do. They also sneak into the manuscript when you fear the text isn’t clear enough and you have to explain information so readers “get it.” Most times, they really don’t need that extra help. You’ll often find filter words in these types of tell, such as “looked” and “felt.”

Telling that Summarizes

These tells take a shortcut by summarizing instead of dramatizing. They often read as though someone is watching the scene unfold from the sidelines, giving a general overview of the action. They might even sound like a summary you’d find in an outline instead of a novel. Sure, you might get the point across to your readers, but it’s not an entertaining read.

Telling that Conveys Information

Many tells exist only to convey information the characters would never think (or have reason) to share, such as world-building details or character backstories. They often sound too self-aware, or read as if the author was jumping into the story with a mini-lecture. These types of tells are good old-fashioned point of view shifts.

2. Telling at the Paragraph Level

If the told prose is explaining or summarizing a situation, the telling can affect an entire paragraph or even a page. You’ll find these tells most often when you pull away from the point-of-view character and start describing what’s going on from afar. These told sections can read like a summary of the scene in your outline. It might even read as if you planned to do more, but never got around to it.

Infodump Telling

An infodump drops in the reasons why something is important in the overall world or setting of the story, and infodumps focus almost exclusively on information relating to the world. This is information readers “need” to understand the story, but in most cases, dramatizes it or backgrounding that information leads to a much stronger story.

Backstory Telling

These tells explain the history of a character, place, or item and why it’s important. Frequently, they’re more extensive than an infodump, sometimes using flashbacks and long internal monologues to reveal frequently unnecessary history. Backstory telling usually focuses exclusively on the histories of the characters, explaining why characters are the way they are instead of showing those behaviors and quirks in action.

3. Telling at the Scene Level

Telling doesn’t stop with summarized paragraphs, and it’s possible to tell an entire scene. These are some of the sneakier types of tells, because writers rarely think to look for told prose at this level. These are scenes that contain important information, but you don’t show the scene unfolding—you just explain it and why it matters.

The most common scene-level tells are flashbacks. They dump history or explain backstory, since showing the scene tends to stop the story. Flashbacks are particularly tricky because they’re often shown, but they’re still telling readers information.

What’s annoying about these tells is that technically, they’re not traditional tells. They just read as though the author is summarizing or explaining events in the novel while nothing is happening on the page. Readers get bored, skim through them, and complain nothing happened in the novel. Since these scenes look like solid, functioning scenes, writers are left scratching their heads and wondering what’s wrong and why no one wants the book.

What Are You Trying to Tell Your Readers?

No matter where you find your told prose, before you revise it, take a step back and consider this: What are you trying to tell your readers? Once you pinpoint what’s important and what needs to be conveyed in that sentence, paragraph, or scene, you’ll be better able to choose how to show that information. Look for ways to:

• Suggest motives through what a character does, says, or thinks.
• Show world-building rules through how those rules and details affect the character’s actions or behavior.
• Show character backstory by choosing details and actions that had an influence on someone who lived through that history.

Show, don’t tell is a troublesome beast, but it’s a tool like any other. If you think about how you want to use it and what you’re trying to say, you’ll have a much better sense of how to convey that information to your readers.

And showing them a fantastic story is what it’s all about, right?

Do you struggle with show, don’t tell? Where do you most often tell?

About Janice

Janice Hardy is the award-winning author and founder of the popular writing site Fiction University, where she helps writers improve their craft and navigate the crazy world of publishing. Not only does she write about writing, she teaches workshops across the country, and her blog has been recognized as a Top Writing Blog by Writer’s Digest. She also spins tales of adventure for both teens and adults, and firmly believes that doing terrible things to her characters makes them more interesting (in a good way). She loves talking with writers and readers, and encourages questions of all types—even the weird ones. 

Find out more about writing at www.Fiction-University.com, or visit her author’s site at www.JaniceHardy.com. Subscribe to her newsletter to stay updated on future books, workshops, and events and receive her ebook, 25 Ways to Strengthen Your Writing Right Now, free.

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By Sarah (Sally) Hamer

Writing a strong, interesting, and compelling character is one of the most important aspects of creating a successful novel. How do you do it? By giving that character a strong goal, motivation and conflict. 

It works like this: the goal is the "what?" the character wants, the motivation is the "why?" of why he or she wants it, and the conflict is the "why not?" of obstacles. Each of these pieces of the puzzle is important in its own way, but each also has to hold its own in the triangle of characterization. They all must be strong, clear, and easy to determine by the reader.

So, what's your characters' WHY? And why does it matter?

In Deb Dixon's wonderful book, Goal, Motivation & Conflict: the Building Blocks of Good Fiction, she tells us that motivation is "what drives your character to obtain or achieve his goal." A character can certainly have more than one motivation in a story but Deb continues: "Keep it simple. Keep it strong. Keep it focused." Even though real humans have multiple and often conflicting reasons for what we do, we don't want to confuse a reader with more than one or two. 

Scarlett O’Hara

Scarlett O'Hara in Gone with the Wind, for instance, was a spoiled, hard-headed young woman who, on the eve of the American War Between the States (aka the Civil War) had two main motivations for what she wanted: 1) she wanted to marry Ashley because she thought she loved him and, 2) she wanted Tara, the Southern plantation they owned, because it was her father's dream. Both were so important to her, she was willing to lie, steal, and starve to get them. 

Dorothy 

Dorothy (The Wizard of Oz), an unhappy teenager who wanted to find happiness "over the rainbow" (she sings that famous song in the movie – if you haven't heard it, it's a perfect explanation of goal, motivation, and conflict) had to save her dog, Toto, who had bitten a neighbor lady and was going to be killed. She and Toto are caught in a tornado and whisked from her home in Kansas to the amazing, and terrifying, world of Oz. 

So, her secondary goal was to get herself and Toto back home. Why? Saving Toto was because he was her only friend and, probably, a link to her parents. And, "There's no place like home," tells us that she finally recognized that home is where the people you love are and that she could be happy there, which she so desperately wanted. 

Do you see how each of these motivations are crystal clear? They also are very human reasons for wanting something, which makes them even more believable. Getting those motivations right for the story is HUGE! How do we do it?

Goal, Motivation, and Conflict Triangle Method

I'm a nut for triangles in writing – good things come in threes, right? LOL! So, let's add in a triangle for Goal, Motivation, and Conflict with each one assigned to a different point. Triangles are one of the strongest building structures in the world, holding train trestles, skyscrapers, and old screen doors together, sometimes for decades. They also can help us hold our stories together. 

Each point is just as important as the other two. If one of the, let's say the motivation side, since we're working on it right now, is weak. We don't really know WHY the character wants whatever that goal is. So, the triangle, and therefore the entire structure, can too easily fall apart.

We can begin anywhere when figuring out motivation. It can start with motivation itself, or it can start with either the goal or the conflict. It really doesn't matter. Goal most often goes first, so we'll start there. Let’s create a fictional character using the triangle method, in which the three aspects of writing a compelling character are on each of the ends of a triangle for our planning purposes She's young, bright, and determined and we'll call her Tabitha.

Goal

Tabitha's goal is to be the top news reporter at her local TV station. That goes on the top of the triangle.

Motivation

Motivation goes next on either one of the other points. WHY does she want that job? 

• To prove something to someone who told her she wasn't good enough? 
• To follow in someone's footsteps? 
• To make money?

These are just a few of the thousands of reasons we could come up with. We will circle back around here in a minute, so just pick something and put it on the triangle.

Conflict

Last, but not least. is the conflict. Something/someone/multiple someones will get in her way. Conflict comes from both internal and external sources. Internal could be where she's afraid of taking that first step. Maybe she really doesn't have the skill. Or she has other obligations that can stop her. Or it can be other characters. Maybe an older woman holds that position and has no intention of stepping down. Maybe the management of the station doesn't like her. Again, lots of choices but pick one for the last point of the triangle.

Now, when we look at the triangle and the three options we have chosen, we have the beginnings of a story. 

Changing the Motivation and Its Impact on the Story

But let's play with the motivation side a little and take the motivation of trying to prove herself to someone – let's say her mother. Her mom had a dream of becoming "somebody" but there may have been a problem with Tabitha's father. Perhaps he left or died or didn't make enough money, so her mom had to let her dream go. 

Now, Tabitha's mom pushes Tabitha over and over to "be better," to do whatever it takes to make it in the world. If that's the case, Tabitha's motivation is to please her mom, which is an outside source. Maybe what Tabitha really wants is to marry that college sweetheart and have lots of babies.

So, we've shifted the goal – how does that change that motivation? She may still want to make her mom happy, but if she herself doesn't want to become famous, her motivation could instead be to get away from a helicopter mom. Would her conflict change too? YES! The entire story will shift, simply because she wants something for a different reason. She'll still be doing some of the same things, but her purpose for doing them – pleasing Mom or making herself happy – alters the bottom line. 

Bottom line. Sometimes we start a story with a great idea. We may even get fifty pages in. But, if we don't know WHY our protagonist wants something, it may not matter that they want it. And, our story falls apart.

Do you have a character in a book or movie you really enjoyed? Why? 

What conflict, motivation or goal are you working on in your own writing that you can share here?

What does your character really want? And WHY?

About Sally

Sarah (Sally) Hamer, B.S., MLA, is a lover of books, a teacher of writers, and a believer in a good story. Most of all, she is eternally fascinated by people and how they 'tick'. She’s passionate about helping people tell their own stories and has won awards at both local and national levels, including two Golden Heart finals.

A teacher of memoir, beginning and advanced creative fiction writing, and screenwriting at Louisiana State University in Shreveport for over twenty years, she also teaches online for Margie Lawson at www.margielawson.com and for the No Stress Writing Academy at https://www.worldanvil.com/w/classes-deleyna/a/no-stress-writing-academy.  Sally is a free-lance editor and book coach, with many of her students and clients becoming successful, award-winning authors. 

You can find her at info@mindpotential.org

by Jaime Buckley

If you’re like me—constantly scribbling ideas on napkins, talking to imaginary friends (also known as your characters), and dreaming about big audiences hanging on your every word—I have a treat for you!

It’s called Substack.

…and it might just be the game changer you need.

Now, there’s a great deal of information (mostly opinions, mind you) about Substack floating around on the internet. Unless you’re hardcore into politics, these skewed-spewed opinions don’t actually matter…but you deserve full transparency. I want you to know what kind of filter I am personally looking through, so you can make better decisions for yourself.

Fair?

That was rhetorical.

My view of Substack is simple: I want tools to help me bring uplifting and inspiring stories to readers, wherever they might live. I also want myself and my stories protected from the irrational and butt-hurt opinions of stupid folk who can’t stand anything being published outside their own narrow scope of understanding or acceptance.

In other words, "Go punt, cupcake. Write your own stories and leave me the hell alone."

I get that with Substack.

This platform creates battlefields for those obsessed with conflict, criticism, and encroaching opinions…while allowing others like me to sit quietly in a corner, talking to fictional characters in peace.

You see, in this whirlwind world of writing and publishing, getting noticed is often as tough as a two-dollar steak. But I've got hot tips & strategies for you.

Substack will help you get noticed AND drive some serious traffic to your author site.

❖

Why Consider Substack for Your Literary Adventures?

Substack has become my new best friend, and a very powerful ally in my writing journey. So powerful, in fact, that I was asked to create a course and share my data with the ‘No Stress Writing Academy’.

Trust me, navigating the wilds of the digital writing landscape can feel a bit like trying to map Middle Earth blindfolded, but here’s how Substack makes it a lot easier:

1. No Barriers: Direct Communication with Your Readers

Imagine you’ve got a magical conch shell. Whenever you speak into it, your voice carries directly to the ears of those who’ve chosen to listen. That’s Substack for you.

It cuts through the noise and the chaos of social media feeds and algorithmic mazes, delivering your words straight into the sanctuary of a subscriber's inbox. Here, you’re not just another shout into the void. You’re the friendly voice that shows up with a steaming cup of wisdom, or a thrilling new tale, right when your readers need it most.

This direct line is gold, pure gold. It allows for a kind of intimacy and connection with your audience that's rare in the digital age. Every newsletter you send is a little like sitting down for coffee with a group of friends who are genuinely interested in what you have to say. They've invited you in, so you better bring your best stories—and maybe some cookies, too.

2. Your Rules, Your Revenue: Monetization on Your Terms

Here’s where things get spicy. Substack doesn’t just hand you the microphone; it offers you the chance to pass around the hat too. Whether you’re starting out and sharing your musings for the joy of it, or you’re ready to turn your pen into a more profitable sword, Substack has your back. You decide if and when to charge, and how much those golden nuggets are worth.

The beauty here is the simplicity and the power it gives back to you, the creator. Want to offer a free subscription option to build up your loyal legion? Go right ahead. Feeling confident that your exclusive content deserves some coin? Slap on that price tag. This platform respects that the creator knows best, allowing you to experiment with different models—subscriptions, donations, pay-per-piece—and find what sings for your audience and your bank account.

3. Write Without Walls: The Flexibility and Freedom Formula

Now, for those of you who despise being put in a box (and I know you’re out there because I’m one of you), Substack is like a breath of fresh air on a spring day. It’s the wild meadow where you can plant any variety of flowers you like.

Write daily, weekly, monthly; share poems, serialized fiction, deep dives into the mechanics of magic systems in fantasy novels, or even the occasional rant about why coffee is the true elixir of the gods.

The platform is your playground. No editor over your shoulder, no publisher breathing down your neck, just you, your words, and the audience you’ve gathered. This freedom allows for experimentation not just in what you write, but how you write and share it. It’s your lab, your studio, your stage. Test, tweak, and toss as you see fit.

4. Built-In Audience: A Goldmine of Potential Readers

Here’s a little secret: people love discovering cool new stuff. It makes them feel like Indiana Jones in the archives. Substack isn’t just a platform; it’s a community brimming with curious minds and voracious readers. This means that while you’re busy crafting your latest masterpiece, there’s a built-in mechanism for discovery. People might stumble upon your work while browsing for something new to sink their teeth into.

It’s akin to having a little bookshop where every so often, someone new walks in, picks up a volume of your work, and decides to stay awhile. That’s the kind of organic growth that can really amplify your reach and introduce your words to readers who are eager for just the kind of tales you tell.

5. Metrics that Matter: Guiding Your Growth with Analytics

Finally, let’s talk about the map and compass that Substack hands you. Navigating the preferences and tastes of an audience can be as tricky as sailing stormy seas. Substack provides robust analytics that act as your star chart. See who’s tuning in, which posts stir the most hearts, and how often your readers come back for more.

This data isn’t just numbers; it’s a narrative of its own, telling you how your work is weaving into the lives of your readers. Use it to steer your ship, refine your course, and ensure that the content you create is not just good, but great—and perfectly pitched to the audience that loves what you do.

❖

Substack could be the secret sauce to your writing career. It’s a community, a tool, and a treasure chest all rolled into one. Whether you’re looking to grow your audience, monetize your passion, or simply share your stories with the world on your own terms, Substack offers you the flexibility, freedom, and direct line to do it all.

"Okay Jaime, you have my interest…now what?"

Let me show you!

❖

Three Winning Ways to Make Your Substack Shine from Day One

If you’re primed to dive into the deep end with Substack, you don’t need my unique course to get started. I’ve got the perfect lifeline to toss your way. These aren’t just flimsy strategies; they're your starting blocks...

The kind Olympic sprinters would envy.

Here’s how you launch into the Substack stratosphere:

First Step to Fame: Carving Out Your Unique Niche

This is the big one, the cornerstone of your whole Substack castle.

I know you’ve heard this time and again in virtually EVERY book marketing course, class and book, but… What makes you different? What secret sauce do you bring to the picnic that nobody else does?

This isn’t about choosing a genre—it’s about finding your flavor within that genre. Are you the master of spooky middle-grade adventures? Or do you bring science to life with wit and wisdom? Knowing this is key because, in the vast ocean of content, your unique voice is your beacon.

Actionable Steps:

• Inventory Your Interests: Sit down and map out what you love to write about. BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF! What themes or subjects can you talk about for hours without losing steam?
• Spot the Gaps: Take a peek at what’s already out there on Substack. Where are the conversations thin? Where can your voice fill a much-needed void?
• Craft Your Unique Pitch: Once you know your niche, boil it down to a sentence or two that makes your readers think, "Ah, this is something different."

Explosive Beginnings: Making Your First Post Pop

Your first post is like the opening number of a Broadway show—it needs to dazzle and capture the imagination.

Think of it as your handshake with the world. Make it strong, confident, and memorable.

It’s not actually about grabbing attention; it’s about setting the stage for everything that follows. Give readers a taste of your best—something that makes them hungry for your next post.

Actionable Steps:

• Craft a Killer First Post: This could be an insightful essay, a gripping story introduction, or a personal anecdote that ties into your broader theme. Whatever it is, make it resonate.
• Offer a Tempting Tidbit: People love freebies. Include a downloadable PDF, a sneak peek at your novel, or a mini-guide. It’s like giving a free sample at the bakery—you’re enticing them to buy the whole cake.
• Spread the Word: Leverage your existing social platforms. Share the launch of your Substack to all your followers. Make it a celebration, an event they can’t miss. I had ZERO followers when I started, but dropped my posts onto the platforms anyway, and guess what? It STILL got traction!

From Dialogue to Development: Engaging Your Way to Growth on Substack

No kingdom was ever built in a day, and neither will your subscriber list.

Well, unless you import them,…but I didn’t have that luxury. Engagement is the key to growth. Substack helps you broadcast your thoughts and interact with readers in REAL TIME. This means dialogue, exchange, and maybe even a little debate. The more you engage, the more your readers will invest—not just their time, but their loyalty too.

Actionable Steps:

• Be Consistent: Whether it’s weekly, biweekly, or monthly, pick a schedule and stick to it. Consistency builds trust, and trust builds followers.
• Utilize Social Media Wisely: Each post you write should be promoted across your channels—not just with a link, but with a conversation starter. Ask questions, seek opinions, and dive into discussions.
• Incentivize Referrals: Substack gives you a POWERFUL tool to gather referrals. Encourage your readers to spread the word. Maybe it’s access to exclusive content, a discount on your books, or a shoutout in your newsletter. Make them feel part of something special.

❖

Start your Substack with a roar rather than a whisper.

This platform is a potent tool in your arsenal, but like any tool, its effectiveness is dictated by the hands that wield it. So wield wisely, write passionately, and make some noise in the world of words!

Every epic starts with a single line; every journey begins with a step. Yours starts with that first post. Make it count, make it shine, and then, my dear friend, show the world ‘You are MORE than you THINK you are!’

Have you tried Substack? Are you thinking about it?