by Janice Hardy
Cutting unnecessary words helps your best moments stand out.
A few years ago, I dipped my toe into writing chapter books. It was a new market for me and I looked forward to stretching my creative wings a bit. The publisher had a hard max word count of only six thousand words, but I wasn’t too worried about the count during the first draft, because I wanted to get the story down first. I just wrote what felt right.
Imagine my horror when my first draft came in at just over 7,300 words.
Yikes.
For context, that’s 18% of the novel, so don’t think a small book is any easier to cut than a large one. In a lot of ways, it’s much harder.
Clearly, I had to cut a lot to fit the required word count, and some of those words were going to be ones I loved. Sentences I’d slaved over, descriptions I’d tweaked so they evoked the perfect image, dialogue that flowed off the tongue.
It was time to kill some darlings, and that was gonna hurt. But it had to be done, because…
Every word in your manuscript should earn its place on the page.
Think of it this way. The more words you use, the more diluted your story becomes. All your great hook lines lose impact because they’re surrounded by filler. Your tense moments take too long to unfold and lose their urgency. Powerful descriptions get missed as readers start skimming for the action. The novel you worked so hard writing gets in its own way and lessens the experience for the reader (again, yikes!).
Edit for Focus
Cutting your unnecessary words puts the focus on the parts of the story that matter most.
Let’s look at an example of a snippet that’s not bad, but could be better:
When Maria got home, the phone for Antonio’s consulting business was ringing. He’d wanted the landline so he could appear more professional, even though she’d thought it was a waste of money. Nobody used landlines these days. She dashed across the living room and picked up the receiver from the rolltop desk.
“Hello?” She winced, because Antonio had told her a hundred times to answer with “Salvatore Consulting, what can I do for you today?” but she’d always felt stupid saying that.
“Tony around?” a man asked casually.
Her heart clenched tight as a fist. Tony would never be around again, and she was surprised he hadn’t forwarded his calls to his cell. “I’m sorry, he’s out. Can I take a message?” Maybe then she’d have a reason to call him, just to see if he missed her as much as she missed him. They’d barely spoken since he left three months ago.
“Yeah, tell him we’re meeting the twins for drinks at Bruno’s Taproom at seven instead of The Pit Stop at six. Leslie has a late customer at the salon.”
Shock nearly drove her to her knees. She gripped the phone so tight her knuckles went white, and her tight throat wouldn’t let any words out. Antonio was meeting a woman for drinks? Was that a date? It sure sounded like a date. How could he be dating already? They’d only been separated since Christmas. The divorce papers hadn’t even been filed yet.
“I’ll tell him,” she squeaked, her voice barely louder than a whisper. “Thank you for calling.”
She put the phone back in the cradle and wrapped her arms around herself. This couldn’t be happening. As the tears welled in her eyes, she slid down to the navy carpet and sobbed. She’d always thought he’d come back, but one phone call had dashed her dreams to bits. (311 words)
This snippet has a lot of common first-draft issues—it’s overwritten in parts, has a lot of telling, and no strong sense of the character.
Now let’s tighten it up and see how it reads:
Ringing greeted Maria as she entered the house—the stupid landline Antonio insisted would look professional, but just added a bill they hadn’t needed every month. They’d have been better off using the cash for a monthly date night. They might still be married.
She snatched up the receiver. “Hello?” No way was she answering with “Salvatore Consulting, what can I do for you today?” like Antonio told her to.
“Tony around?” a man asked.
His words punched her in the gut. Tony would never be around again. Hold it together. “No, can I take a message?” If so, she’d have a reason to call him that wasn’t “I miss you, do you miss me?”
“Yeah, tell him we’re meeting the twins for drinks at Bruno’s Taproom at seven.”
Her skin flushed hot, then icy cold. Antonio was meeting a woman for drinks? After only three months? The divorce papers hadn’t even been filed yet.
“Sure,” she squeaked, her throat tight. She dropped the phone back in the cradle and hugged herself. This couldn’t be happening. He was supposed to come back.
Bruno’s at seven? She glanced at the clock. Five-seventeen. (191 words)
Cutting the unnecessary words saves 120 words and gives a better sense of who Maria is and how she feels about Antonio dating again. Tastes may vary, but I think the shorter version makes readers care more about Maria because her reactions are clearer without all the overdone emotional tells.
Now for funsies, let’s look at why I cut the words I did:
Original:
When Maria got home, the phone for Antonio’s consulting business was ringing. He’d wanted the landline so he could appear more professional, even though she’d thought it was a waste of money. Nobody used landlines these days. She dashed across the living room and picked up the receiver from the rolltop desk. (52 words)
Trimmed:
Ringing greeted Maria as she entered the house—the stupid landline Antonio insisted would look professional, but just added a bill they hadn’t needed every month. They’d have been better off using the cash for a monthly date night. They might still be married. (44 words)
The important details are the ringing phone, the fact it’s a landline, and Maria’s feelings about it. The type of desk doesn’t matter, and I’d assume the room was probably already described prior to this scene. I combined several sentences into one with “the stupid landline Antonio insisted…” which also showed more of Maria’s voice. It also felt important to show hints of their relationship and why it failed, so I added the “…monthly date night” line.
Original:
“Hello?” She winced, because Antonio had told her a hundred times to answer with “Salvatore Consulting, what can I do for you today?” but she’d always felt stupid saying that. (30 words)
Trimmed:
She snatched up the receiver. “Hello?” No way was she answering with “Salvatore Consulting, what can I do for you today?” like Antonio told her to. (26 words)
“Wincing” in the original version was ambiguous, since you can wince for several reasons, but “Snatching up” the phone implies annoyance or irritation, which shows she had issues with the cost of the phone, and having to answer it annoyed her. I also put the reasons for not answering the phone in her voice, which supports her annoyance.
Original:
“Tony around?” a man asked casually. (6 words)
Trimmed:
“Tony around?” a man asked. (5 words)
The dialogue itself is casual, so we don’t need the adverb.
Original:
Her heart clenched tight as a fist. Tony would never be around again, and she was surprised he hadn’t forwarded his calls to his cell. “I’m sorry, he’s out. Can I take a message?” Maybe then she’d have a reason to call him, just to see if he missed her as much as she missed him. They’d barely spoken since he left three months ago. (65 words)
Trimmed:
His words punched her in the gut. Tony would never be around again. Hold it together. “No, can I take a message?” If so, she’d have a reason to call him that wasn’t “I miss you, do you miss me?” (40 words)
The question blindsides Maria and causes an immediate emotional reaction. The extra explanations about why the call came to the landline and how long it had been since they’d spoken weakens that “gut punch” of emotion. If she’s rational enough to think those other thoughts, how thrown could she be?
Original:
“Yeah, tell him we’re meeting the twins for drinks at Bruno’s Taproom at seven instead of The Pit Stop at six. Leslie has a late customer at the salon.” (29 words)
Trimmed:
“Yeah, tell him we’re meeting the twins for drinks at Bruno’s Taproom at seven.” (14 words)
This is a straight up “infodump through dialogue” fix. The original tells readers unnecessary details about the date, because the caller has no reason to tell her anything more than the time and location change. I kept the “Bruno’s Taproom” since I want to show Maria might go there, adding a bit more narrative drive to the scene.
Original:
Shock nearly drove her to her knees. She gripped the phone so tight her knuckles went white, and her tight throat wouldn’t let any words out. Antonio was meeting a woman for drinks? Was that a date? It sure sounded like a date. How could he be dating already? They’d only been separated since Christmas. The divorce papers hadn’t even been filed yet. (63 words)
Trimmed:
Her skin flushed hot, then icy cold. Antonio was meeting a woman for drinks? After only three months? The divorce papers hadn’t even been filed yet. (26 words)
The original is full of clichés and verges on melodrama. What matters here is that she has an emotional reaction as she processes that Antonio has a date three months after moving out.
Original:
“I’ll tell him,” she squeaked, her voice barely louder than a whisper. “Thank you for calling.”
She put the phone back in the cradle and wrapped her arms around herself. This couldn’t be happening. As the tears welled in her eyes, she slid down to the navy carpet and sobbed. She’d always thought he’d come back, but one phone call had dashed her dreams to bits. (68 words)
Trimmed:
“Sure,” she squeaked, her throat tight. She dropped the phone back in the cradle and hugged herself. This couldn’t be happening. He was supposed to come back.
Bruno’s at seven? She glanced at the clock. Five-seventeen. (36 words)
The last two paragraphs pour on the melodramatic reactions and don’t give a sense of how Maria is handling this news. It also makes Maria look like she can barely function, and if she’s that thrown, she won’t be answering in complete sentences. Barely squeaking out “Sure” shows she’s a bit speechless, but still in control of herself.
I also added the bit at the end to show she might act on hearing Antonio had a date, because it just felt like that’s where the scene was going after I tightened it up. The edits not only picked up the pace, but gave it a stronger narrative drive.
Could I have elaborated and used up more of those 120 extra words? Absolutely. If it was important to add in some of the other details, or expand more on Maria’s thoughts or emotions, I could have easily done that.
But here’s the thing—did I need to? I'd say no.
Readers don’t notice what you cut, but they absolutely feel what you didn’t.
That’s the difference between a “Wow, you’ve got to read this book!” and a “Oh, yeah, I read that. Not bad” reader reaction.
Final Thoughts
Remember…you’re not deleting words you like, you’re clearing away the clutter and revealing the story you love. Every unnecessary word you cut makes the important ones stronger, and every trimmed sentence sharpens your pacing. Tossing out all the chaff gives your best moments more room to breathe.
I get it, it hurts to cut words you worked hard writing, but if your story will be stronger for it, then grit your teeth and do it. A story readers can clearly read is one that they’ll fall in love with.
If you want to learn more ways to trim your manuscript, check out my book Revising Your Novel: First Draft to Finished Draft. It’s full of tips, examples, and strategies to tighten your draft and let your story shine.
Is it easy or hard for you to trim words from your manuscript? What tips would you give someone struggling with this?
About Janice

Janice Hardy is the award-winning author and founder of the popular writing site Fiction University, where she helps writers improve their craft and navigate the crazy world of publishing. Not only does she write about writing, she teaches workshops across the country, and her blog has been recognized as a Top Writing Blog by Writer’s Digest. She also spins tales of adventure for both teens and adults, and firmly believes that doing terrible things to her characters makes them more interesting (in a good way). She loves talking with writers and readers, and encourages questions of all types—even the weird ones.
Find out more about writing at www.Fiction-University.com, or visit her author’s site at www.JaniceHardy.com. Subscribe to stay updated on future books, workshops, and events and receive her ebook, 25 Ways to Strengthen Your Writing Right Now, free.
Website | Facebook | Twitter | Pinterest | Goodreads | Amazon | Barnes & Noble | iTunes | Indie Bound









