By Sarah “Sally” Hamer
Humans are judgmental creatures. We look at ourselves in a mirror on the way out of the door and make a decision as to whether we look good enough to go outside. We might fluff our hair or touch up lipstick or straighten a collar, but we’re still judging. Is it good enough?
- Good enough for what?
- For whom?
- For what occasion?
- Who sets those darned rules, anyhow?
How we judge ourselves comes from our culture and our upbringing for the most part.
Humans are hard-wired to live together in groups, small or large, and the groups around us are intimately engaged in what they will accept in our behavior and appearance. In some cultures and time periods, for instance, a man is not allowed to have facial hair. But other cultures and time periods not only expect that facial hair but will judge a man for not having enough. Whatever enough is. We obey those social rules at the risk of being ostracized and laughed at and, in some cases, even thrown out of the group.
So, what does this have to do with writing?
It works in exactly the same way.
We are our own toughest critics. After all, we create something deeply personal and give it to the world to tear apart. Writing is an intimate process, and we have so many chances to distrust ourselves. We know that EVERYTHING we write will be judged by somebody, so we judge it first. And, for some people, it never goes any further.
After all, it’s supposed to be perfect, right? But we set impossibly high standards for our work, comparing it to everything we’ve ever read. We write, then edit, then write and re-edit, and can find it very difficult to be satisfied. In fact, the quest for perfection can be so paralyzing that the manuscript never goes out of the door.
If that’s not bad enough, we’re judged by everyone who reads anything we write. People have opinions, formed by their experiences and ideas. Different people like different things—in fact, if we all liked just one book, there would only be that one book. So, each of us has likes and dislikes that sway our reading decisions. What kind of books do you like? I’m into happy endings and dragons. It’s not a good story without dragons, right? But what about the people who would never purchase a dragon book? They’re certainly entitled to their own opinion and to buy—and read—what they want.
But too often it turns into judgment. If I like those dragons, do I have the right to tell you that you are wrong if you don’t like them?
Finding the right fit.
Part of the problem also is that commercial fiction has an entire wall of pigeonholes that books are supposed to fit in. Finding the right pigeonhole can be an entire class of doubt on its own. Most of us do research on what we think is acceptable to the audience we want to read it. If we’re writing a romance novel, for instance, there are established and pretty darned specific rules. It’s probably not as carved in stone as it used to be when I first started writing decades ago. But back then, even the best-written book in the world wouldn’t be published by the “big” houses, if it didn’t mean the accepted criteria.
Other genres can be just as restricted: a mystery almost always has a dead body and a puzzle to solve. Suspense stories allow the villain to be known, even to the protagonist, but it’s a cat-and-mouse chase from beginning to end. Major fantasy sagas almost always have a mysterious character who leads an innocent unknown hero/ine into an adventure. And the list goes on and on.
So, we judge our writing.
- Will it fit in the established pigeonhole?
- Does it need to?
- What if we just want to write what we want to write?
Honestly, it depends on the WHY of writing. Why are you writing? Often when I’m talking to a new writer—or even a more experienced one who hasn’t accomplished what they want—I find that some of us are writing for all the wrong reasons. And, even worse, sometimes we’re selling our soul.
Writing to publish is completely different from writing for oneself.
What reason are you writing? Is it to publish? (I remember when Snoopy from the Peanuts comics wrote his book on his typewriter on top of his doghouse and sent it off with a letter to the publisher – “Just send the check when you get this.” Would it be that easy!)
Publishing requires a subset of skills that not all writers have or are willing to acquire. It takes marketing skills, writing to a target audience, social media presence, and a whole bunch of other things that some people just aren’t up for.
The question I often get from that “newbie” is, “If I write a book, I’ll make lots of money, right?” Wrong. Well, it’s possible. Of course it is. There are many people who do just that. But it’s such a small percentage of writers that it may not be worth all the work that goes into it.
So, ask yourself:
- WHY do you write?
- Is your judgment of your WHY based on a set of standards you may not wish to meet?
- Or, do you write because you want to learn how?
- Does it come from your heart?
- Are you learning what type of a writer you want to be as you write?
- Do you believe in yourself?
Because, bottom line, there is hope. Set your goals. Understand what you’re trying to accomplish.
Give yourself a chance to find your inner voice. Then, you’ll never have to worry about what someone else—or your own internal critic—thinks.
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About Sally
Sarah (Sally) Hamer, B.S., MLA, is a lover of books, a teacher of writers, and a believer in a good story. Most of all, she is eternally fascinated by people and how they 'tick'. She’s passionate about helping people tell their own stories, whether through fiction or through memoir. Writing in many genres - mystery, science fiction, fantasy, romance, medieval history, non-fiction – she has won awards at both local and national levels, including two Golden Heart finals.
A teacher of memoir, beginning and advanced creative fiction writing, and screenwriting at Louisiana State University in Shreveport for over twenty years, she also teaches online for Margie Lawson at www.margielawson.com and hosts symposiums at www.mindpotential.org. Find her at info@mindpotential.org.
Tip Image by Vilius Kukanauskas from Pixabay
