by Angela Ackerman
No matter who your protagonist is—a formidable galactic emperor, a morally complex teenager, or the retiree down the street with too many cats—readers must find something fundamentally relatable about them, something that resonates with their own human experience. This causes them to feel bonded to the character in a way they didn’t expect, and we need that to happen to get them invested in the story.
Tapping into our reader’s psyche to pull on their emotions is essential. Often writers focus on likeability, giving a character admirable traits, a passion, or noble mission that the reader can get behind. But the secret sauce is something more subtle yet nuanced: emotional common ground.
These are emotionally challenging moments common to us all, ones that stick with us due to the discomfort and vulnerability they cause. When we feel exposed, it’s human nature to keep those feelings to ourselves. As a result, they often become hidden experiences—things we go through that stir deep emotions but are rarely shared or discussed.
Hidden experiences are interesting because while we can feel utterly alone when they happen, if we realize someone else is going through the same thing, our first response is to feel empathy and possibly a desire to help. In fiction, hidden experiences can be a goldmine. If a character goes through something that makes them feel say, threatened, exposed, or inadequate, readers will instantly recognize it. Even better, a kinship forms because they know what it’s like to be in that character’s emotional shoes.
While it’s not exactly enjoyable to face life’s challenges—especially when we don’t handle them as well as we’d hope—the silver lining is that we can use those experiences to our advantage in fiction. Giving readers a front row seat to a character’s vulnerability, insecurities, and struggles is a powerful way to foster empathy and make them invested in what happens next. To get the best mileage from a hidden experience, we should think about points in a story where reinforcing common ground makes the most sense. A few ideas…
Navigating conflicting morals or values is never simple or easy. When a character wrestles with a moral problem, they instinctively turn inward, reasoning through their options. This process will draw the reader in, especially as they recognize that whatever the character decides, it will say something about who they are. A solution is never perfect, either, meaning a consequence or cost, which is also relatable. Whenever something important is at stake—like a person’s identity—readers can’t help but think about what they would do in the same situation and be reminded of similar moral struggles they’ve faced in their own life.
Humans are social creatures, and we invest in certain relationships. Try as we might to pretend otherwise, we do care what certain people think, and we want to belong. This is why characters experiencing difficulties in a relationship—a partner constantly putting work first, parents who love conditionally, a daughter who is growing more and more distant—pull on a reader’s heartstrings. It’s easy to relate to the desire to erase tension, a gnawing sense of unfairness, or how it feels to have a relationship-based need going unmet.
What makes a moral dilemma or tough choice even more difficult? The presence of temptation—to take the easy road, offload a problem onto someone else, give into a bad habit, or be untruthful about what’s transpiring. Temptation is a great hidden experience to use because all readers have been lured by its song. Everyone has felt the pull to justify their actions even knowing they are wrong. They also very likely have experienced the cost of giving in to temptation, so while they will root for a character to resist, they will be somewhat sympathetic if it goes the other way, too.
Life can be painful, so we all have a lot of real-world hidden experiences on our bingo card. But this doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be choosy about which ones we write into the story. Sure, readers can relate to a protagonist’s shame and guilt at being caught in a lie, but if their choice to do so has no real bearing on the story or character’s arc, it won’t land right with readers. For hidden experiences to juice your story with meaning, think about where the plot needs to go, the lessons your character needs to learn, and what common internal suffering will be the perfect fit to make the character’s situation more relatable and poignant to readers.
Some of you might find it hard to poke your character’s soft spots, but I promise you, the payoff is huge. Not only are you building in powerful points of connection between characters and your audience, but you also ensure they become deeply invested in the story’s resolution. Readers want to see good things happen for the people they care about, especially those who have endured familiar trials and struggles.
Have you ever read about a character’s hidden experience and felt instant empathy? Tell me about it!
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About Angela
Angela Ackerman is a story coach, international speaker, and co-author of the bestselling book, The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer’s Guide to Character Expression, and its many sequels. Available in nine languages, her guides are sourced by US universities, recommended by agents and editors, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, and psychologists around the world. To date, this book collection has sold over a million copies.
Angela is also the co-founder of the popular site Writers Helping Writers®, as well as One Stop for Writers®, a portal to game-changing tools and resources that enable writers to craft powerful fiction. Find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
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Brilliant as usual, Angela. You always remind me to dig to the bottom of emotions. Thank you!
Stay warm up there...
Thank you, Laura - hope this gives you lots of ideas!
Thank you, Angela, for this wonderful 'secret sauce' recipe.
As a behaviorist, and professional 'connector', it was my job to dig down and determine motivations for 'unexpected' or notorious acts.
While I find it more challenging to look inward, I see my own 'inward' in the characters I write, and not just the protagonist.
When I read something I've written and it forces me to look inward, especially because it is something I recognize on a deep level, my empathy spills onto to the pages -- so much so, that sometimes, I have to reign it in. But only a very wee bit, because that's what I want my readers to feel.
Tapping into 'emotional ground' is poignant and powerful! It's the main reason I write. 🙂
Yes, exactly! And I find myself affected when reading the work of others, too. When something strikes a cord, it really hits us. So we can see from both sides how important emotional common ground is. 🙂
An excellent reminder to use emotions to make the reader relate to the protagonist.
Glas you liked this one - I hope it will give you a good starting point for your characters! 🙂
You hit the nail on the head, Angela. That emotional connection is why I read a story and why I write stories. Without it the story simply will not engage me. While I write that way, I'm not always able to identify the "familiar" emotion within my character. So I love the list of "familiar" emotions you gave. I'll be using it and growing it from now on. Thanks!
That's awesome--I am so glad!
I would have never thought to call it 'Hidden Experiences' - but that's exactly what I try to make sure happens in every scene - and my novels are LONG.
It just can't be allowed to stop the forward motion of a real plot or the development of characters, so you have to pack a lot into the bits that end up in the final version, and make it count. A light, but cumulative, hand, using internal monologue (indirect and direct thoughts), does it for me. Characters need to have a strong motivation for thoughts in the moment, so it makes me do a lot of thinking - like we never have time for in our own real-life thoughts - to use those experiences and let the reader in on them.
Yes. I think often we may not think as deeply as we're experiencing something but there's a sense of 'huh, there's something more here' and then later we reflect and connect dots. So when we show readers doing this, it's realistic.
the depth of the hidden experience can really make the character.
I agree!
Oh. Oh no. I do not like writing about this sort of thing. It always comes out clunky and forced. I'll try but it will be terrible and uncomfortable and awkward for everyone involved.
Keep trying. It will get easier and more natural. Except maybe for those times it needs to be clunky and awkward. Characters can feel that way, too. Best of luck to you in your writing!
Good points (a non-literary novelist here... Deep is not permitted 😆😱)
You look familiar... How do I know you?