Some Keys to Achieving Confidence in Your Writing
by Jenny Hansen
Gaining confidence is an often-difficult task for most people, but for creatives it's exceptionally hard. We create something tangible out of our own imaginations. Our "something" is typically judged by others as valuable vs not valuable. Creatives rarely know in advance how their creations will be received.
It's quite the cycle. But. . .
Uncertainty is a cornerstone of a creative life.
We begin our creative journey with whatever gifts are innate, but then we have to build upon them. We spend weeks or months planning a project. Years learning the skills to bring those projects into being. Decades dialing in our creative journey so we understand our process, and can duplicate it from project to project.
Maybe we're armed with a mirage of a road map at the beginning.
Maybe we learn to overcome our doubts about whether we're heading in the right direction.
Maybe we choose the right tools and courses in our struggle to augment our innate skills.
The uncertainty of all those maybes has killed many a creative career. But, since you're here reading this, I'm pretty sure it hasn't killed YOURS. (Brava to you and your beautiful, persevering, creative soul!)
I offer you some inspiration from George Costanza
(Okay, it's from Jason Alexander, but I still hear George Costanza when he speaks...)
My brother sent me this very short video (under a minute) and it has given me several hours of thinking. Alexander is talking to a group of musicians, but really he's talking to every person who is trying to create something difficult. It's the gasp from the audience at the 17 second mark that got me.
Go ahead and listen to the video...we'll wait.
To sum up:
- Sometimes we have big dreams or plans that we don't know how to achieve right now.
- The most important part of that video to me is the call to give ourselves patience. I'd add two more gifts to that -- grace and trust.
- Patience - we're just not quite there yet.
- Grace - it's okay. We are where we are. We don't need to beat ourselves up about it.
- Trust - we will get there. The universe will provide, if we just keep working at our craft.
I don't know about you, but patience is by far the hardest of those three qualities for me. I do trust that I will get there, but I want to be there NOW. It is very hard to wait at being good at something you want more than anything.
What do you do while you're being patient?
When the business of writing drives you cray-cray, the way to move forward is to focus on the job that only YOU can do. Write the current story, or the next one. If your story is as good as you can make it, then you have done your job. If your story isn't yet as good as you can make it, learn some new writing craft skills so you can make it better.
Everything in your writing life starts with a story.
When the uncertainty creeps up the back of your neck and gives you anxiety, just know that at the bottom of it all, you have one job that rules all the others: Finish your story. Then start on the next one.
Focusing only on what you can control is, in my humble opinion, one of the only ways to achieve true happiness as a creative. Bring your trust and grace and patience to that.
Here's a great post if you get stuck: Getting Unstuck and Avoiding Writer's Block by Tiffany Yates-Martin
The wear and tear of uncertainty.
Most people don't like change. But creative growth thrives on change, even if it's just a change in your own skill level. Becoming more comfortable with uncertainty, and truly knowing that it's okay to not know something, is the foundation for that trust that I spoke about above.
You have to be able to trust that the answer will come to you for all manner of things:
- Your character's internal conflict
- A story's theme
- Your book's title (or blurb, or Amazon keywords)
- Deep POV (or whatever other writing mechanics you struggle with)
- Your character's all-is-lost moment
Everyone of these things might be something you start off not knowing. But, as you bring your story into being, you will come to know these things, and it will feel glorious.
What are the advantages to embracing uncertainty?
I talked about this in a previous post. There are advantages to embracing, or at least being able to cope with, psychological uncertainty. There are gifts and opportunities that come from the unexpected. Growth and resiliency tend to walk hand-in-hand.
Remember: we can do hard things.
HelpGuide.org offers five not-so-easy-to-follow tips on managing uncertainty (see below). To their credit, they break each tip down with a full section of actionable advice.
- Take action over the things you can control
- Challenge your need for certainty
- Learn to accept uncertainty
- Focus on the present
- Manage stress and anxiety
Further Reading:
- The science of uncertainty, published by the American Psychological Association
- Dealing with Uncertainty by HelpGuide.org
Final Thought
It's hard to wait for "the good stuff," especially in this world where we rarely need to wait for anything. And waiting for ourselves. . .to learn, to know, to become. . .is the hardest of all.
To trust in tomorrow, we just have to be willing to try today.
People always say there are two best times to plant a tree -- today and ten years ago. And let's face it, lightning might strike that tree that you planted and nurtured along for years. It's okay. You got joy from the first tree, and you can always plant another.
Be brave. Plant the tree. And write your story, even if you don't know where it's going yet. You'll know soon.
Do you have confidence in your writing and creative life? Why or why not? Of the three behaviors I mentioned above -- patience, grace, and trust -- which is the hardest for you? I'd love to hear about your journey down in the comments!
* * * * * *
About Jenny
By day, Jenny Hansen provides brand storytelling, LinkedIn coaching, and copywriting for accountants and financial services firms. By night, she writes humor, memoir, women’s fiction, and short stories. After 20+ years as a corporate trainer, she’s delighted to sit down while she works.
Find Jenny here at Writers In the Storm, or online on Facebook or Instagram.
Top photo created in Canva.
Leave a Reply
19 comments on “Some Keys to Achieving Confidence in Your Writing”
Tagged as:
Subscribe to WITS
Recent Posts
- Do You Write Women’s Fiction or Men’s Fiction?
- 6 Tips for Creating Chemistry Between Characters
- How (and Why) To Define a Strong Author Brand
- A Peek Inside the Mind of a Developmental Editor
- 5 Red Flags Your Novel Might Be Too Much Work to Read
Love this advice. I have patience, grace, and trust. The hard part for me is the pieces I can't control. I'm not writing to write; I'm writing to be read, but I can't force people to read. (My goal is traditional publishing.) I can only make my best work and hope.
Debbie, it IS hard to fling our work out into the universe and hope it resonates with readers.
I heard Neil Gaiman talk about this in his college commencement address. He said, "Even if you don't get the money, you still have the work."
You will still have the stories that you created out of thin air, whether you make money from them or not. The money definitely feels more validating...but you still have the work. You have to trust that you learned valuable and necessary lessons for the next book. Because maybe THAT one is the commercially successful book.
"To trust in tomorrow, we just have to be willing to try today." Brilliant. Should a fortune-cookie message. Or on a t-shirt. Or a tattoo.
Thank you for this message. Especially on a Monday!
Thanks, Chris! We should definitely make t-shirts. 🙂
Good to see you here. I'm always happy to perk up your Monday!
I am the worst when it comes to patience. Both in my writing life and my personal life. I want all the things to happen ASAP. This is a good thing for me to read, to remind myself that not everything happens at the pace I want or expect it to. That sometimes, I need to relax and enjoy the journey and not fast forward to the end. Heck, when I do that, I could end up missing some amazing things.
Blurgh to patience. IT'S SO HARD. But, so very necessary when you're a writer.
But I do hope you enjoy your journey, because you are sooooo talented, so your journey should be able to bring you some fun and rewarding moments.
Patience has been my biggest lesson in this lifetime. To wait until the little voice says, "Now."
I've learned that the Universe has given me what I desire in its timeline--not mine. The next biggest lesson has been to stay positive, to not spiral downward, which leads to disease and dis-ease. So hard these days when the lessons appear to be the hardest yet, and external forces are hammering at the door and interfering, trying to get into my peaceful sanctuary provided by the writing. Keep the positive thoughts flowing!
It's wonderful that you are tuned in enough to hear the universe say, "Now." Many aren't. They give up too soon. They miss that whisper in their creative ear..."Tomorrow. Next month. NOW."
For the past three years I have been in a critique group, which has been one of the best things I've done in my writing life (several decades, btw). We now meet 3X a month and their encouragement and yes, criticism, has made me a better writer, we learn from each other. To the point of your posting here, the group has given me 100% confidence in presenting my work to any audience.
A great critique group is worth its weight in gold, Vicki. I'm so glad you have one!
And I'll share a story with you... Writers in the Storm was started by my critique group. Four of us at the time. One has passed away, and another stopped writing, but we all were delighted to start this blog together, back in 2010. 🙂
A wonderful, thoughtful post, Jenny. Thank you for sharing. I actually have patience, grace, and trust—but I have to work freaking hard to have them, especially grace for myself. I'm keenly aware that my self-talk can unconsciously slip into negative territory in a hurry, and publishing hasn't stopped that. Instead, I must monitor it all the time. Patience is my superpower, I'd say, my trust a bit shaky. Thing is, grace can pull the other two down if I'm not careful. It's a three-legged stool with fragile legs. I practice mindfulness all the time, yet I still have to launch into damage control far too often (that last bit is my grace failing…it's sneaky). Thanks again!
You are most welcome, Christina. 🙂 This is why I reiterate, "We can do hard things." Because all three are sooooo difficult to nurture and maintain.
I am so impressed with you that Patience is your superpower!!!
That video was amazing. Thanks.
You're welcome! I loved it too. 🙂
WOW! I needed to hear this today. I am struggling with a book and realized I need to pivot to make the entire series work. I wasn't getting it,but I will eventually get it.
Alexsandra, what a wonderful message to receive...pivot. One pivot for a whole series that you love sounds like a wonderful trade-off!
What a fantastic article!
Your wonderful advice brings to mind a simple yet powerful quote about trust—the best way to know if you can trust someone, even yourself, is to just trust.
Simple can be soooo difficult. Right?!
Thanks, Robin! And yes, that leap of faith is scary and simple and wonderful.
It never ceases to amaze me that what I need to hear/read/see always comes exactly when I need it most.
I took a break from my current WIP to take a spur-of-the-moment "vacation" two weeks ago. During that time, I devoured a couple books. Now that I'm home with my own work, all I seem to do is compare it to the brilliance of the books I read while I was away. Comparison and inadequacy are my biggest challenges. I do give myself grace with patience, to an extent, but trusting that I'll ever attain my dreams is something I really struggle with.
I have had mentors tell me time and time again, that if it was written on my heart, it's availble to me. But when I get in my own way--and I do that far too often--holding onto that trust has had me in tears more than I care to remember.
The video. The part that makes everyone gasp. I did the same. Then I got all teary-eyed and decided those words will go on my wall in some way. Thank you for sharing this amazing article. I think we all need to hear these things once in a while.