by Dr. Diana Stout

Nobody likes to fail. And yet, failures are a part of life. We don’t learn lessons during happy times. We learn through pain and conflict.

A Recent Conversation

Recently, at a monthly chat meeting with other screenwriters where many of us are teachers, editors, writing coaches, and mentors, and have been writers most of our lives, we talked about the frustration of writers who seek our help, but then insist their scripts are wonderful and ready to be sent out, disagreeing with our advice of more work needed before submitting.

We were nodding our heads as this conversation was recounted.

“Everyone is telling me how good it is.”

“Who’s everyone?”

“My family, my friends. Classmates.”

“Of course, they’ll tell you it’s good. They love you.”

“But I got all A’s in English.”

“High school English isn’t the same as writing a screenplay (or novel). Your manuscript/script has issues. How many drafts have you written?”

“What?” Major pause while this wrinkle is absorbed. “How many drafts do I need?” (They appear reluctant to admit this is their first draft.)

“As many as it takes to become the best story possible, hooking the reader from the first page all the way through to the last.”

“How many drafts do you write?”

When we give them a double-digit number, the incredulous response is, “Seriously?”

Signs of a Successful Writer

Learning there’s more work to be done can be daunting and frustrating. But, the sign of a future successful writer—actually, anyone with any project or goal in any field—is how they react to failure.

• Do they accept that more work is needed?
• Or, do they get angry, not accepting the critique or advice?

Through our shared stories of failure, we agreed the best thing that ever happened to each of us was having someone heavily marking up our scripts/manuscripts. We learned from those critiques. These were the mentors we cherished.

We never saw their criticism as personal; we saw their criticism as a learning opportunity.

We agreed we learned through our failures, which led to our successes. Don’t be fooled; we still get our share of failures, and we are all still learning.

At that point, Doug spoke up and said, “Use me as an example. I wasn’t the typical new writer. When I was young, I sold my first script with its first submission, and it got produced and up on the screen. That was 30 years ago. I haven’t sold anything since, but I’m still trying and still learning.”

While happy with that early success, he acknowledged he was in the right place at the right time with the right script. That he had been incredibly lucky at that time.

Writing isn’t a sprint. It’s a marathon. Failing is merely a message, telling us what not to do. Thus, we need to be willing to make changes and lean into wanting criticism because it encourages us to make changes and improve our craft.

Acceptance of failing isn’t the only attribute of the winning writer. So is patience and persistence.

We need to be patient throughout the entire process, the journey to success. How many times have you heard someone say, “I was a 15-year overnight success”?

And, we need to be persistent. The one thing I’ve learned is that success never arrives via my desired timeline. Usually, it’s been much later after others would have given up or have given up. It’s almost as if I’m being tested on my determination-factor.

Remove Your Ego

My first major critique came back with so much red on the pages, I thought my mentor had cut her arm and bled all over the pages. I remember the initial tears and being angry. I put it away for several days and came back to it, re-examining the red marks. I sighed, realizing she was right about everything.

My tears and anger had been ego-reactionary. Lesson learned. She had spent a lot of time helping me, so I needed to be grateful, instead.

I was improving, so I thought. That’s when she said, “You’re better than this. Why do you keep making the same mistakes?”

I sighed, acknowledging she was right. Another lesson.

And then, finally, after telling her I’d gotten another rejection, she said, “I don’t understand why you’re not getting published. It’s like you’re standing at the cliff’s edge with only your heels.”

I didn’t understand it either, but at least now, it felt more like it was only a matter of time and totally out of my control. I kept submitting.

More years passed. By my early 30s and with more manuscripts written, I told myself if I hadn’t published a novel by the time I was 40, I would quit trying. I’m glad I didn’t. I traditionally published my first novel, at 42. (Indie publishing was still a decade away.)

Be Willing to Learn, Willing to Change

If we are willing to learn, are willing to keep trying, and willing to make changes, our writing does improve. We’re making progress, even if only in small steps.

Not sure you believe this theory?

Examples of Successful Failures

Starting in 1901, the Wright brothers traveled hundreds of miles, toting major equipment from their garage to the hanger they’d built at Kitty Hawk. The first couple years, they flew gliders hundreds of times, always tweaking the design.

When they attached a propeller and then an engine, they had failures until they finally achieved success with a 12-second 120-foot flight. More failures demanded more changes and more tests until they achieved a viable success.

Note: The linked book is a fantastic read of their journey with its many failures.

Other great examples:

• Thomas Edison said it took 10,000 attempts to create a light bulb that was desired by consumers.
• Michael Jordan was cut from high school varsity basketball as a sophomore.
• Walt Disney was fired from a mid-west newspaper for his lack of ideas; his theme park idea was rejected over 300 times by banks and investors.
• Clark Gable failed his first screen test, as did other actors and actresses who later became famous.
• John Grisham’s first book, A Time to Kill, was rejected by 28 publishers.
• William Golding’s book, Lord of the Flies, was rejected 21 times.
• Mary Higgins Clark’s first short story was rejected 40 times.
• Louis L’Amour’s first story was rejected 350 times.
• Theodor Geisel’s first book was rejected 27 times before it was published. We know him today as Dr. Suess.

These are just a few stories of famous, well-known individuals who suffered through multiple failures before they finally found success.

In Summary

You can do it!

• Be Patient. Keep adding and building your portfolio of books written.
• Be Persistent. Keep practicing and rewriting. Keep learning.
• Be Willing to Fail. You’ll be in good company.

What kind of writing failures have you had along the way? What lessons have you learned or are learning?

* * * * * *

About Diana

Getting stuck in the writing, getting submission rejections (before indie publishing), and feeling like she would never get published were the three hardest hurdles Dr. Diana encountered as a writer. While she had no control over the rejections (other than improving her craft), she learned that by changing her process, she could get unstuck easily, and keep her passion high from start to finish. An added bonus was discovering she could write first drafts quickly in a matter of 7-10 days.

She’s shared her discoveries in two books: Finding Your Fire & Keeping It Hotand CPE: Character, Plot, & Emotion.And, for two weeks in June (9-20), she’ll be teaching a Master Class that combines the methods of both books: Keeping Your Writing Fire & Keeping It Hot.

In the meantime, she’s thrilled to opening her windows to the warmer, spring weather as she works on her current projects.

To learn more about Diana, visit her Sharpened Pencils Productions website.

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Photo credit: Top photo purchased from Depositphotos.com.