The last thing any writer wants their book to be is forgettable. And that starts with an attention-grabbing, first line.
There’s a lot riding on your novel’s first line. It’s not just the opening act — it’s the handshake, the hook, and the dare. Your first line tells your reader: this is the kind of story you’re in for, and you’re going to want to sit down for it.
When I am editing, whether it be for myself, a client, or my critique partners, I am probably the toughest on the first line. I will work for hours crafting the most perfect first line for all my stories, it might be my very favorite thing about writing! And I know I’ve annoyed more than one client and critique partner by hyper focusing on theirs.
For example, this one might be my favorite that I've written right now.
"Leave it to a fanghole to interrupt a perfectly good retirement." - Evil’s Lethal Addiction
My urban fantasy series was supposed to be complete after book 4, but thanks to a simple question asked, I was prompted to write another book in the series. At the end of book four, my heroine decided to retire from her vampire hunting night job, so I needed something fun, full of my voice, that matched the rest of the series, but also explained why I decided to add more to my series. It's a few simple words, but it does the job I need it to do.
So how do you write a first line that grabs your reader by the collar and whispers, you’re not going anywhere?
Let’s break it down.
What Makes a First Line Work
The best first lines do one or more of the following:
Introduce tension or mystery
Deliver a distinct voice
Establish a mood or tone
Drop us into motion
Offer a surprise, a promise, or a provocation
Forget weather reports. Forget waking up from dreams. You want your reader to feel off-balance in the best way — intrigued, unsettled, curious. You want them asking a question you’re not going to answer just yet.
First Line Archetypes That Slap
Here are five approaches that never go out of style with some examples and a prompt.
1. The Startling Truth
Drop a bomb. Then let your reader scramble to understand what just happened.
Here's an example...
“All this happened, more or less.”— Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut
Try:I buried the wrong body.
2. The Irresistible Voice
Hit the page with so much personality the reader can’t look away.
Here's an example...
“If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you’ll probably want to know is where I was born…”— The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger
Try:I never meant to set the nun on fire.
3. The Mystery in Motion
Something’s already happening — and we want to catch up.
Here's an example...
“It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen.” — 1984, George Orwell
Try:By the time I reached the hill, the house was already burning.
4. The Shocking Contradiction
Use irony, contradiction, or dark humor to knock the reader sideways.
Here's an example...
“It was the day my grandmother exploded.” — The Crow Road, Iain Banks
Try:He was the nicest serial killer I’d ever met.
5. The Weight of a Voice Untold
Sometimes quiet tension speaks loudest.
Here's an example...
“They shoot the white girl first.”— Paradise, Toni Morrison
Try:No one noticed she was missing until dinner was served.
There is a reason the books listed above are considered classics and have stood the test of time.
First Lines to Avoid Like a Cliché Storm
“It was a dark and stormy night…”
“My name is X, and I’m just a normal [insert trope]…”
“Everything changed the day…”
“If you’re reading this, I’m probably dead.”
You can twist these into something fresh — but if you don’t, they’ll send your reader straight to the next book in their TBR pile.
Writing Tips for Line One
Write it last: Your best opening line might not show up until draft three. (This one doens't work for me, but I know several writers who need to write it last to make it perfect.)
Test it out loud: It should sound good in your mouth. Rhythm matters.
Be bold, not confusing: Intrigue is good. Bewilderment? Not so much.
Don’t overwrite: Punch hits harder than prose that’s trying too hard to be profound.
Final Thought: Give Them No Choice but to Read On
An unforgettable first line is a promise. It says, I know exactly what I’m doing, and you’re going to love where I take you. So don’t be afraid to lead with your sharpest blade.
If it excites you, if it makes you smirk, if it makes you proud — that’s the one.
Next month, I will be discussing how to craft a hooky chapter ending.
Let's make today an interactive day. Drop your favorite first line in the comment section! If you want help shaping them into something that will hook your reader, let me know and I will be happy to help you play!
About Jenn Windrow
Jenn Windrow once attempted to write a “normal” book—and promptly bored herself into a coma. So now she sticks to what she does best: writing snarky, kickass heroines, broody supernatural men, and more sexual tension than a vampire in a blood bank.
She’s the award-winning author of the Alexis Black novels and the Redeeming Cupid series, where the undead never sparkle and the drama is always delicious. Jenn moonlights as a developmental editor, helping other writers wrangle their wild plots and tangle-free prose.
When not arguing with her characters or muttering about Oxford commas, she can be found binge-watching trash TV, wrangling the slew of animals that live in her house (husband and teenagers included), or telling herself she’ll only have one more cookie.
You can find her at jennwindrow.com or lurking on social media where she pretends to be an extrovert.
51 comments on “Write an Unforgettable First Line”
You know me Jenn, I love a great first line. I spend a lot of time on them. Here are a couple of mine I'm proud of:
Today, death rides a bicycle. My bicycle. (For Roger)
Another night of blood and adrenaline. (Sweet on You)
My life wasn’t destroyed like in the movies, with technicolor explosions and a huge fireball. (The Devil She Didn't Know - due out Aug 1)
And my all time fave, from The Sweet Spot - The grief counselor told them to be grateful for what was left. After lots of considering, Charla Rae decided she was grateful for the bull semen.
Great examples. I really enjoyed this post. Here's the first line from my current WIP which is historical women's fiction:
Ruth draped a tea towel over the fruit-laced cake Betsy Bailey had saddled her with, black currant of all things, then planted herself at the front window. Ruth Shelby's Rules.
Thank you. The first tweak wouldn't be true. Other people also know there is a plan for him. Technically, in the belief system portrayed there is a plan for everyone, but not everyone shares the belief and most people don't feel the plan at work within them the way Jon'than does.
Love first lines! What's hilarious is I actually used "If you're reading this, I must be dead" in a short story called Old Bones. It was the start of a letter to a paleontology professor who had inherited the writer's property and all the prehistoric fossils it contained.
Laura, you're the star of first lines. With every book you make a promise, and boy, do you deliver!
You've got another line down below that is a perfect first line, if this is from the same book, I would love to see how we can strengthen your opening here.
If you want to post those first couple of paragraphs, I am happy to play on the fly!
This line comes about three quarters of the way through my second novel, so it's not a first line at all, but I laugh every time I think about it. It could make a great first line, though ...
That's a great line, Sally. Definitely hooks me. Could you use it as your opening line? I know I'd keep reading even if I had just reluctantly started reading the novel because my friend insisted I needed to. 🙂
Jenn,
Great post! Thank you for it. I love the both the classic examples and your suggestions.
I'm on the fifth draft of my WIP YA fantasy, and I have written more opening sentences and opening scenes than I can count. My favorite opening sentence was for a media res opening: "What do you mean they tried to kill my grandmother?" But, at the suggestion of an editor, I made that the second scene and open, instead with an introduction to the character and the world. Here is my new opening:
Walking home from school through Nightshade Thicket, her gray cloak dragging dead leaves and twigs behind her, Siobhan Bla h’Eithne bristled at the idea of becoming a Banshee like her mother.
I've had a shorter version of it but, at present, this is my favorite.
I love how the start of that first line starts out like ordinary world, then quickly ends with the supernatural element! Nice way to not only trick the reader, but also hook them!
I am a fist line collector. I write them for stories, I have not even thought about writing yet, and will hopefully get to one day!
I love first lines that hook me immediately. One of my favorite first lines from another author that still haunts me to this day comes from Louis L'Armour's book, Jubal Sackett: "A cold wind blew off Hanging Dog Mountain and I had no fire, nor dared I strike so much as a spark that might betray my hiding place." It's a book I read 40 years ago when it was newly published.
From the current thriller that I'm writing, told from an Anonymous POV: "I've waited a long time to exact my revenge."
I can't help myself. I have to share a few more of my own.
From Grendel's Mother - All journeys begin with a single step. I could say my journey began when I was made dead, a no-name ghost in the woods.
From Harbor House: Say You Will - “Marry me.” Six years old, I push the hair out of my eyes and swipe at the mud on my face so I can see Johnny, my rescuer, better.
From Determined Hearts - High in the Salmon River Mountains of Idaho, Jennifer Frost squinted her eyes against the flying dust the helicopter blades stirred up and shouted to the pilot, handing him a fat, white envelope. "Here's your payment. No matter what happens, you don't come back for me until the two weeks are up. You got that?"
I love that you are sharing, I shared more above too, hoping to help writers who might be struggling and need more examples. I bet they will see yours and get a good idea of how to handle them as well!
You have a really strong voice and it comes through in your first lines for sure! I love them all!
I enjoy first lines, but they are difficult to write! I've read through the comments and love the innovative creativity expressed here!
This is mine from my Christian Western historical that is under contract.
Turmoil churned in Frank Pride’s spirit with a force every bit as strong as the wind hurling tumbleweeds across the harsh Colorado prairie.
Note: The line originally read Uncertainty clawed at Frank...
I attended a writers' conference where we shared first lines and I was advised "uncertainty" wasn't definitive enough, so I changed those couple of words just before I sent in the proposal.
I enjoyed this post and have been playing with the first line of my supernatural mystery. Here's one option: it was the middle of September in a small village in northern Germany when the first crop circle appeared. Another option is: A black bird crashed into Eleanor's kitchen window and it was not a good start to her day. Or, the one I have : Another strong gust of wind rattled the windowpanes. The laden, charcoal sky added to the ominous feeling. (Yes, I know... Storms and dreams but they're a big part of the story and I'm the quarters through the novel Appreciate your suggestions.
Love this. I have trouble with a first line at times. Sometimes I get a friend who helps me with that, other times (because I write gritty messy crime fiction) I happen upon the line and I like to do it for other scenes.
"I knew my patients by name: if only I knew mine."
"I'm a doctor - but I don't deal in health or beauty. I deal in death."
"When the idiots over at Granley Insurance offered to pay me a whopper of a sum to investigate Max Munson—a man who’d been on their fraud radar for some time—I hesitated only long enough to catch my breath."
The new one starts lovely -a small paragraph about the river - the beauty ... the dead body.
Or the classic from Jim Butcher's *Blood Rites*. Harry Dresden was already famous for his fire magic and his attitude, but you get so many layers out of
"The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault."
Lately the one of mine I'm proudest of is for *The Mirrorman*:
They're both illusion-workers who rarely use their own faces. For Nick to come across Valerie undisguised was almost as surprising as realizing she wasn't dead.
I love reading first lines! Here's my rather long first line for my historical set in the Kingdom of Hawaii, 1850:
Standing in the shadow of the canoe halau, Grace closed her eyes and relished the sound of her father’s voice—the calm, reassuring voice she’d always known, not the impatient, accusatory voice he’d used with her since she chose baptism in the Christian church, but the voice he used now with the old men who regarded him well; old men who followed the traditional Hawaiian ways and disregarded the ways of the missionaries; old men who toiled in the canoe halau to create a single-hulled outrigger bound for the best fishing grounds—a canoe carved from the trunk of a great koa tree dragged from the slopes of Mauna Kea by younger men.
Just found this post and love it, including the replies.
From my novel, WATCHER: "I watch my daughter, the sunlight dancing across her long dark hair, cradle her swollen belly as she kneels to place the flowers on my empty grave."
You know me Jenn, I love a great first line. I spend a lot of time on them. Here are a couple of mine I'm proud of:
Today, death rides a bicycle. My bicycle. (For Roger)
Another night of blood and adrenaline. (Sweet on You)
My life wasn’t destroyed like in the movies, with technicolor explosions and a huge fireball. (The Devil She Didn't Know - due out Aug 1)
And my all time fave, from The Sweet Spot - The grief counselor told them to be grateful for what was left. After lots of considering, Charla Rae decided she was grateful for the bull semen.
As always they are all fantastic, but that line for the Sweet Spot will forever hold a place in my heart as one of my favorite of all times!
I also know how hard you work on them, we are of the same mind when it comes to a well crafted first line!
Love your first lines!
“Get in here now or look for a new job tomorrow”
Fun!
I assuming the next part will set the scene a bit for the reader?
Great examples. I really enjoyed this post. Here's the first line from my current WIP which is historical women's fiction:
Ruth draped a tea towel over the fruit-laced cake Betsy Bailey had saddled her with, black currant of all things, then planted herself at the front window. Ruth Shelby's Rules.
I would love to see you be able to move that last sentence to the very start somehow. Then I wonder, what are her rules? Will we learn her rules next?
Feel free to add more if you want and I can play.
The first line of my work in progress:
Wasabi on the nipples burns.
Here's the first line from my WIP: Fate had a plan for Jon’than Hawk, but Jon’than only knew it existed.
This is great!
I do have a little tweak though.
Fate had a plan for Jon’than Hawk, but only Jon’than knew it existed.
And you might consider changing that second Jon’than to “he” to help the cadence.
But otherwise it’s a good catchy line!
Thank you. The first tweak wouldn't be true. Other people also know there is a plan for him. Technically, in the belief system portrayed there is a plan for everyone, but not everyone shares the belief and most people don't feel the plan at work within them the way Jon'than does.
I will change to "he."
Love first lines! What's hilarious is I actually used "If you're reading this, I must be dead" in a short story called Old Bones. It was the start of a letter to a paleontology professor who had inherited the writer's property and all the prehistoric fossils it contained.
Laura, you're the star of first lines. With every book you make a promise, and boy, do you deliver!
All rules can be broken and if you can use one of those well used lines and make it your own, more power to you!!
Here is my first line for my WIP.
Hopelessness and boredom should never be mixed. The result creates entertainment in the most mundane things.
I love this! I love the idea the what is to come since I am sure your MC has a mix of both that cause some shenanigans in the story!
From my second novel, "The Sturgeon's Dance"
“Who was that,” Greg asked as he and Josie drove home from the folk dance, “the fiddler, singing, at the end? You know him?”
You've got another line down below that is a perfect first line, if this is from the same book, I would love to see how we can strengthen your opening here.
If you want to post those first couple of paragraphs, I am happy to play on the fly!
“Victor dropped the garrote and bloody gloves into the Arno River off the Ponte Vechio.”
This is from my current WIP, working title, The Assassin. I would love hearing what you think.
One of my all time favourite first lines comes from Joe Hill. “My best friend when I was twelve was inflatable.”
This line comes about three quarters of the way through my second novel, so it's not a first line at all, but I laugh every time I think about it. It could make a great first line, though ...
Quasimodo had better appreciate being fictitious.
That's a great line, Sally. Definitely hooks me. Could you use it as your opening line? I know I'd keep reading even if I had just reluctantly started reading the novel because my friend insisted I needed to. 🙂
HAHA! I would absolutely try and make this your first line in your novel. It is too good to be buried down below where it can get lost.
If you want to post a bit more, I can see if I can't work any magic on the fly to see how to move it up.
I'll play with a few of mine as well. Mostly because I believe you can learn a lot from seeing others examples.
I may have been born to wear a crown, but I preferred to wield a blade. - In the forest of eternal darkness
My nightly vampire hunts used to be all wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am, but lately they’ve been more can-you-keep-up-bitch? - Evil's Ultimate Huntress
Hunting vampires used to require the three Ps: planning, patience, and pointy weapons. - Evil's Avenging Angel
Crap on a crumbling cracker, I hated heights. Almost as much as I hated holy water. Pointy stakes. And silk-lined coffins. - Evil's Deadly Divide
Last month Cupid shot my size six ass with an arrow and saddled me with the soul mate from hell. - Struck By Eros
Jenn,
Great post! Thank you for it. I love the both the classic examples and your suggestions.
I'm on the fifth draft of my WIP YA fantasy, and I have written more opening sentences and opening scenes than I can count. My favorite opening sentence was for a media res opening: "What do you mean they tried to kill my grandmother?" But, at the suggestion of an editor, I made that the second scene and open, instead with an introduction to the character and the world. Here is my new opening:
Walking home from school through Nightshade Thicket, her gray cloak dragging dead leaves and twigs behind her, Siobhan Bla h’Eithne bristled at the idea of becoming a Banshee like her mother.
I've had a shorter version of it but, at present, this is my favorite.
I love how the start of that first line starts out like ordinary world, then quickly ends with the supernatural element! Nice way to not only trick the reader, but also hook them!
I am a fist line collector. I write them for stories, I have not even thought about writing yet, and will hopefully get to one day!
Thank you, Jenn. I appreciate your feedback. I'm relieved to hear that it works as a hook.
It's great that you already have first lines. What a great springboard for your writing! 🙂
I love first lines that hook me immediately. One of my favorite first lines from another author that still haunts me to this day comes from Louis L'Armour's book, Jubal Sackett: "A cold wind blew off Hanging Dog Mountain and I had no fire, nor dared I strike so much as a spark that might betray my hiding place." It's a book I read 40 years ago when it was newly published.
From the current thriller that I'm writing, told from an Anonymous POV: "I've waited a long time to exact my revenge."
Thanks for the great post!
I mean you can't go wrong with Louis L'Armour!
Love that first line, it is perfect for a thriller!
I can't help myself. I have to share a few more of my own.
From Grendel's Mother - All journeys begin with a single step. I could say my journey began when I was made dead, a no-name ghost in the woods.
From Harbor House: Say You Will - “Marry me.” Six years old, I push the hair out of my eyes and swipe at the mud on my face so I can see Johnny, my rescuer, better.
From Determined Hearts - High in the Salmon River Mountains of Idaho, Jennifer Frost squinted her eyes against the flying dust the helicopter blades stirred up and shouted to the pilot, handing him a fat, white envelope. "Here's your payment. No matter what happens, you don't come back for me until the two weeks are up. You got that?"
I love that you are sharing, I shared more above too, hoping to help writers who might be struggling and need more examples. I bet they will see yours and get a good idea of how to handle them as well!
You have a really strong voice and it comes through in your first lines for sure! I love them all!
I enjoy first lines, but they are difficult to write! I've read through the comments and love the innovative creativity expressed here!
This is mine from my Christian Western historical that is under contract.
Turmoil churned in Frank Pride’s spirit with a force every bit as strong as the wind hurling tumbleweeds across the harsh Colorado prairie.
Note: The line originally read Uncertainty clawed at Frank...
I attended a writers' conference where we shared first lines and I was advised "uncertainty" wasn't definitive enough, so I changed those couple of words just before I sent in the proposal.
Happy writing everyone!
I love the imagery that yours invokes. The high wind, tossing the tumbleweeds around.
First lines can be tricky for sure, and can take way longer than any sentence has a right to.
I enjoyed this post and have been playing with the first line of my supernatural mystery. Here's one option: it was the middle of September in a small village in northern Germany when the first crop circle appeared. Another option is: A black bird crashed into Eleanor's kitchen window and it was not a good start to her day. Or, the one I have : Another strong gust of wind rattled the windowpanes. The laden, charcoal sky added to the ominous feeling. (Yes, I know... Storms and dreams but they're a big part of the story and I'm the quarters through the novel Appreciate your suggestions.
Love this. I have trouble with a first line at times. Sometimes I get a friend who helps me with that, other times (because I write gritty messy crime fiction) I happen upon the line and I like to do it for other scenes.
"I knew my patients by name: if only I knew mine."
"I'm a doctor - but I don't deal in health or beauty. I deal in death."
"When the idiots over at Granley Insurance offered to pay me a whopper of a sum to investigate Max Munson—a man who’d been on their fraud radar for some time—I hesitated only long enough to catch my breath."
The new one starts lovely -a small paragraph about the river - the beauty ... the dead body.
First lines are insanely important.
I have to admit this one made me laugh!!
"I knew my patients by name: if only I knew mine."
And I really want to read that story!
Loving all these first lines! Thanks for the great post, Jenn. I just approved 3 comments, so you probably want to take one pass from the top. 🙂
Thank you, I ended up seeing them and wondered if I had missed them! Got them now!
Or the classic from Jim Butcher's *Blood Rites*. Harry Dresden was already famous for his fire magic and his attitude, but you get so many layers out of
"The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault."
Lately the one of mine I'm proudest of is for *The Mirrorman*:
"My sister's alive. Wearing her own face."
Jim Butcher is a master of a fantastic line!! And fantastic books!!
Nice line. I am assuming at some point the sister wasn't wearing her own face or any face maybe?
They're both illusion-workers who rarely use their own faces. For Nick to come across Valerie undisguised was almost as surprising as realizing she wasn't dead.
This is the first line I'm playing with for my new book. It will likely change by the time I'm finished, but this is what I have currently...
I didn’t expect the world to explode on my birthday. All I wanted was a new bike.
lol! Okay. That’s awesome! Totally made me laugh out loud!!
MG or YA??
One from an older work of mine ...
"No matter what his Klingon-spouting nephew said, today was not a good day to die."
Haha! I love that your humor is there right up front! Great job!!
Thank you.
I love reading first lines! Here's my rather long first line for my historical set in the Kingdom of Hawaii, 1850:
Standing in the shadow of the canoe halau, Grace closed her eyes and relished the sound of her father’s voice—the calm, reassuring voice she’d always known, not the impatient, accusatory voice he’d used with her since she chose baptism in the Christian church, but the voice he used now with the old men who regarded him well; old men who followed the traditional Hawaiian ways and disregarded the ways of the missionaries; old men who toiled in the canoe halau to create a single-hulled outrigger bound for the best fishing grounds—a canoe carved from the trunk of a great koa tree dragged from the slopes of Mauna Kea by younger men.
"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice
One more week of freedom to do whatever we want before school starts!
A MG family mystery entitled
A BEFORE B
Any suggestions?
Rewritten more than 3 drafts...
First line of my WIP: The first time I saw the girl, she was dead.
Just found this post and love it, including the replies.
From my novel, WATCHER: "I watch my daughter, the sunlight dancing across her long dark hair, cradle her swollen belly as she kneels to place the flowers on my empty grave."
[…] Write an Unforgettable First Line […]