by Ellen Buikema

The average number of pitches read by literary agents runs anywhere from 1000 to 5000 per year. Response rates are low with less than 4% receiving any response, including rejections. Having a well-written, to-the-point pitch is crucial to engage an agent or editor.

Whether pitching in-person at a conference or sending a written query letter, make certain to get straight to the point. Perusing pitches is what agents and editors do during downtime. Their days are busy.

Ways to work on the pitch via query letter and in-person follow:

A good example of a query letter that uses the Hook, Book, Cook method for their supernatural thriller can be found in Jane Friedman’s blog.

The Hook Book Cook formula

Hook – 

The hook is the first few sentences that grab the reader’s interest so they’ll keep reading. If you’ve previously met the person you’re pitching, say at a conference, mention this upfront. That will help your cause.

I once met an agent in person at a conference whom I had previously queried. After her presentation I stopped to thank her for the comments she sent me on my query. She seemed quite shocked to be thanked. After a short conversation she told me to send another query when I’m ready and remind her that we met.

The following hook is for a novel I’m almost finished revising, although the revisions seem unending.

I am seeking representation for my Young Adult historical fiction THE HOBO CODE (65,000 words) in which 14-year-old Jack conspires with his younger siblings to escape dire situations rather than risk being forever separated. Jack promised to get them to safety, and he always keeps his promises. No matter what.

Book – 

The book section is a short summary of your manuscript focusing on its selling points and should include the title of a book or two similar your work.

Example book section from The Hobo Code manuscript:

After the death of their mother in 1905 Wausau, Wisconsin, fourteen-year-old Jack and his two younger siblings are sent to an orphanage by their grief-stricken, alcohol-driven father. A dangerous encounter with orphanage staff forces Jack to flee with his younger siblings, sending them on a peril-filled journey across the country via freight trains.

Through their travels they encounter the underbelly of society where pleasure, delights, addiction, and violence weave a deadly tapestry. Together, the three children weather encounters with death, a pedophile, working girls, a psychopath, and are involved in a train robbery.

With the help of hobos and hope of finding family in Los Angeles, they traverse a hazardous path to find a new home.

A hero’s journey, THE HOBO CODE is a standalone story with series potential that shares elements from Markus Zusak’s THE BOOK THIEF.

Cook – 

The cook is your brief bio and writing credentials.

I’m a writer living with my family in Lee’s Summit, Missouri. I am a co-host of Writers in The Storm blog. I taught reading and writing as a Resource Specialist Teacher in several school districts and psychology as adjunct faculty at the College of Lake County in Illinois. My chapter books for children received 5-star awards from Readers’ Choice. THE HOBO CODE is my first novel. In my spare time, I love to read, listen to music, and make people laugh.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Each section of the query should cover what the reader needs in a concise manner, keeping in mind the limited time that the reader has available.

 
The Elevator Pitch

An elevator pitch is a short description of an idea, in this case a book, that explains the concept in a persuading way within a short timeframe, 30 to 60 seconds, about the length of time you’re chatting with someone on an elevator.

An elevator pitch should include a quick summary of your manuscript, including the main character, central conflict, and the stakes. If there is time, mention any relevant comparisons (comps) to similar books.

Short Pitches

“A murder inside the Louvre, and clues in Da Vinci paintings, lead to the discovery of a religious mystery protected by a secret society for two thousand years, which could shake the foundations of Christianity.” (IMDb) https://reedsy.com/blog/guide/book-hook/hook-examples/ The Da Vinci Code, by Dan Brown

“A scientist discovers a way for human consciousness to travel through time and relive moments of their life, but after one fateful experiment she returns to find her reality altered to a horrifying extent.” (Publishers Marketplace) https://reedsy.com The Third Rule of Time Travel, by Philip D. Fracassi

“The ultimate guide for crafting accurate drug scenes and avoiding common pitfalls, with tips, facts, and sample scenes to bring your writing to a new level.” The Grim Reader: A Pharmacist's Guide to Putting Your Characters in Peril, by Miffie Seideman

All-the-way-to-the-first-floor Pitches

Cold Karma, by Eldred Bird

“When writer James McCarthy turns to Deputy Sheriff Nestor Yazzi for spiritual guidance, he agrees to help ... for a price. In exchange, James must work to solve a cold case that has haunted his mentor for fourteen years. Nestor’s best friend disappeared into the mountains of central Arizona while prospecting, leaving nothing behind but a tractor and a few hand tools. Armed with little more than his wits and a box of old files and photos, can James succeed in bringing Nestor’s missing friend home, or will he fail to hold up his end of the bargain?” (From the author.)

Parallel Lives: The Paths Not Taken, by Kris Maze

“When Harriet discovers The Experience, she's skeptical of its promise to show her better versions of her life. But as this jaded insurance adjuster steps into the simulation chamber, she's thrust into vivid realities she could have lived. In one reality, she's saving lives in Honduran clinic. In another, she's creating art in the Arizona desert.

"Each simulation features a man whose path intertwines with hers across different timelines whose motives grow increasingly suspicious. Harriet begins to unravel the true nature of these experiences as the simulations become more intense. The man appears with a devastating warning and she faces a terrifying realization. What if these alternate realities are more than just simulations, and what happens when she follows the wrong one?” (From the author.)

Loglines

A logline condenses your story into a one-sentence (sometimes two) summary. It’s often used for screenplays but translates well to books. It includes:

• The Protagonist: The main character and their defining trait.
• Inciting Incident: Event that forces them into action.
• Goal/Objective: What the protagonist must achieve.
• Central Conflict/Antagonist: The main obstacle in their way.
• Stakes/Consequences: What happens if they fail?

The logline is designed for the reader to instantly have a good understanding of the story’s concept.

Examples:

“When monsoon rains uncover a body, a naïve writer is pulled deep into the foothills to aid in the investigation, putting friends, family, and his own life at risk.” Catching Karma, by Eldred Bird

“A revolutionary technology offers one woman an incredible opportunity: to see the lives she's never lived, but she faces a terrifying realization. What if these alternate realities are more than just simulations, and what happens when she chooses the wrong one?” Parallel Lives: the Paths Not Taken, by Kris Maze

Final Thoughts

Along with getting across the selling points of your work, the pitch also gives the reader an idea of your writing. I noticed when rereading this article that I subconsciously slipped in a bit of alliteration, which I use quite a bit in children’s stories.

Have a care with spelling and grammar. Have other people read your query, elevator pitch, and logline. Extra eyes-on is always a good thing. This is your chance to shine.

Even if you never plan to pitch an agent or editor in hopes to be traditionally published, writing your selling points using any of the methods mentioned will make talking about your work flow easily.

What is your elevator pitch? Have you written a logline? Share them with us!

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About Ellen

Author, speaker, and former teacher, Ellen L. Buikema has written non-fiction for parents, and The Adventures of Charlie Chameleon chapter book series with stories encouraging the development of empathy—sprinkling humor wherever possible. Her Works in Progress are The Hobo Code, YA historical fiction and The Crystal Key, MG Magical Realism/ Sci-Fi, a glaze of time travel.

Find her at https://ellenbuikema.com or on Amazon.

Top image from freepic.com