Have you ever struggled with how to describe a character in POV without resorting to a mirror scene? Or worse, describe a character by having them look in a mirror? It's a good rule. I'm glad somebody started saying it because we've all read those scenes where a character wanders into a bathroom, stares at their reflection, and conveniently reports their eye color, hair color, height, weight, and every distinguishing feature they possess. Readers see the machinery immediately and it can really bother them .
How do we describe a character in POV without a mirror?
Years ago, I wrote a prologue about a young girl whose life was coming apart. She was frightened, desperate, and trying to make sense of circumstances that had narrowed her world down to a handful of terrible choices. At that moment she wasn't thinking about the color of her eyes. She wasn't cataloging her features. She wasn't wondering whether anyone would think she was beautiful. She was trying to survive. So I wrote her fear. I wrote her grief. I wrote the pressure she was under and the choices she faced. In my mind, those things mattered far more than whether her hair was brown or blonde.
Then readers started asking what she looked like.At first, I found that mildly irritating. Not because the question was unfair. Quite the opposite. It was completely fair. The reader wanted something I wasn't giving them. The character couldn't thinking about her physical aspects, but the READER still wanted to see her.
I've thought about that a lot over the years because it points to a real problem in point-of-view writing. We want readers immersed in the character's experience, but readers also need enough physical detail to build a picture. How do we give them that picture without forcing our character to think thoughts that don't feel natural?
I suspect the answer has something to do with how we experience ourselves in real life.
I know what color my eyes are, but I almost never think about them. In fact, someone told me I had beautiful blue eyes the other day and I had to stop a minute. Yes, my eyes are blue but it’s not something I pay any attention to. Most days I don't think about my appearance in any organized way at all. What I notice are things that affect my life. My back that gets stiff if I sit too long. A blouse that doesn't fit the way it used to. A photograph that catches me from an angle I wasn't expecting. The fact that my hair has developed opinions of its own. Those are the things that rise to the surface of my consciousness.
Why? Because we experience ourselves indirectly. A woman may become aware of being tall because she's always the tallest one in the room. A man may think about his scar because people keep asking about it. Someone with exceptionally curly hair may spend half their life fighting it and wondering what other people might think. In other words, people usually become aware of physical characteristics when those characteristics collide with something else.
That's where things started clicking for me.
Maybe the goal isn't to describe what a character looks like. Maybe the goal is to describe what it's like to live inside that particular body. That sounds like the same thing, but I don't think it is at all.
Suppose I want readers to know my character is tall. I could simply have her tell the reader that fact. There's nothing inherently wrong with that. The reader receives the information and moves on. But what if she automatically reaches for things nobody else can reach? What if family photographs become an exercise in figuring out where to put her? What if she's spent her entire life hearing variations of, “Wow, you're tall?” But height isn't only information. It's experience.
The same thing happens with appearance generally. The description is still there. It's simply tangled up with emotion, memory, relationships, and everyday life.
A friend of mine once pointed out that we never actually see ourselves directly. We see reflections. Photographs. Shadows. Other people's reactions. We spend our lives assembling a picture from fragments and assumptions. It's a strange thought when you stop to consider it. The person we know best is also somebody we've never truly observed from the outside.
And maybe that's what I was missing in the prologue of the frightened girl. Not eye color. Not hair color. Clues. Physical experiences. Small moments that would have allowed readers to assemble the picture for themselves while they were sharing her fear and despair. And, the more I watch people, the more convinced I become that character description lives in those moments. Not in mirrors. In friction. In comparisons. In old insecurities. In favorite features. In aging joints and stubborn hair and clothes that fit beautifully or don't fit at all.
When readers ask what a character looks like, they probably aren't asking for a police sketch.
They're asking for enough pieces to imagine a human being. And the longer I write, the more I think those pieces are found not in what a character sees when they look at themselves, but in the thousand small ways they move through the world without looking at themselves at all.
For a free video on this subject and a look at the prologue I’ve mentioned, click here.
How do you describe a character in POV without using a mirror?
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About Sally
Sarah (Sally) Hamer
Sarah (Sally) Hamer is a lover of books, a teacher of writers, and a believer in a good story. Most of all, she is eternally fascinated by people and how they 'tick'. She’s passionate about helping people tell their own stories, whether through fiction or through memoir. Writing in many genres - mystery, science fiction, fantasy, romance, medieval history, non-fiction – she has won awards at both local and national levels, including two RWA Golden Heart finals.
A teacher of memoir, beginning and advanced creative fiction writing, and screenwriting at Louisiana State University in Shreveport for over twenty years, she also teaches online at both margielawson.com and nostresswriting.com and blogs for writersinthestormblog.com/ and thewriteconversation.blogspot.com. Sally is a free-lance editor and book coach at Mind Potential, with many of her students and clients becoming successful, award-winning authors. Find her at sa***@***********al.org
I'm trying to remember if I've used the mirror trick in any of my books. I hope not! If I have, I need to go back and cut it! I remember being warned about not using it, and I always judge when I see it in other people's books. Sorry, not sorry. I once heard some advice about soft-pedaling your character's appearance so that the reader can envision them for themselves. That pairs well with your good advice here.
Unfortunately, it's very, very easy to describe our characters with a mirror! And, it's not something that people will throw rotten tomatoes at us for. We hope! But it's nice to know there are other ways.
Thanks for the comment, Lissa!
This is terrific. I think what you're getting at is a question of showing rather than telling. I always feel like when I read a laundry list of physical characteristics, I forget them, but when a character's physicality is incorporated into how they move and behave, it's more memorable. Thanks for the great explanations.
Thanks, Michelle! You're exactly right -- it is a matter of showing not telling. And, it's also a matter of deep POV, and good description. So, it all works.
Thanks!
I write in deep POV, and figure readers will wait until another character notices what the POV character looks like. Or, I've said, "At five-four, she'd never considered herself particularly short, but she had to tilt her head to meet his eyes." Shows her height and something about his, too.
So far, feeling my way through a fiction I've envisioned in fragments, I have two characters who are supposedly uncle and niece but are actually not related. Those two have a long uneasy history. A newly arrived character, trying to figure out the relationship, has noticed that they do not resemble each other physically, hears a bit of backstory from her, and is silently satisfied to have that piece of the puzzle fall into place. It will later turn out that the little puzzle piece, which seems insignificant to the new character, is essential to the overall story.
The word mirror appears about a dozen times in my WIP. Only once is the main character looking at himself. It's near the end of the book. He's noticing change to his appearance. He comments it reflects his mood.
(There is someone admiring new earrings on their ears, but nothing describes her there.)
For the most part, I follow this mantra for details: Does the reader need to know this? Does the reader need to know it now? This makes me look for spots that fit in description in a way that matters. Eye color rarely maters. Height and weight often do. Things that make someone uncomfortable in their skin matter more than things that make them comfortable---we don't notice being comfortable.
I once read a book that described each character physically when the reader met them. It pulled me out of the action every time. It was done specifically to show the cast was diverse. But it was telling, not showing.
The mirror trick always irritates the heck out of me. *I* can't use it, so that author can't use it kind of thing. LOL.
I learned from Les Edgerton that the less you describe how the character looks, the better it is for you. The reader will put in the description then, and it will make THEM bond with the character. Behavior, mannerisms, community, yes. Actual "police sketch" details...he said don't do it. Because if you do it, it won't give your reader a chance to see THEMSELVES.
He literally changed how I think of character description.
Glad to help, Janet. Revision is really the exact place to "fix" this sort of thing. If we're worrying about whether something is right, we're not allowing our creative mind the space to tell the story. Good for you!
I rarely describe the physcial attributes of a character anymore unless it's important to the story or to any other character. Like a height difference, or how they're dressed relates to their air of character, like snobbery, elitism, factory worker, etc.
I totally agree that a mirror shouldn't be used as description aid. The best use of a mirror is when they're seeing their soul, questioning their values, or horrified at what they've just done. Great blog post!
I do have a mirror scene in the first novel in my Pride's Children mainstream trilogy - because she's a narcissist, and a rather beautiful actress who needs to reassure herself:
"She slid out of the negligee. Her body posed itself for her approval in the triple mirror, posture and attitude honed by coaching and practice, her right leg bent just so. Her instrument. Taut and muscled, just the right hint of firmness under a thin softening layer: in repose, female. She worked hard for the perfect effect. She’d seen women body builders in person, once, and they disgusted her: unnatural women’s heads on men’s bodies, their breasts either empty from total absence of body fat—or fake. She cradled her breasts like her best custom underwire bra. The nipples stiffened obediently, tightening the skin. Perfectly formed, perfectly proportioned B cups, heavy. The gift that convinced her God meant her to be on a pedestal."
The other characters get described only by one of the three main characters when that character has a real reason for noticing something.
Describing what characters look like when they first appear seems to be a feature of having a narrator/omniscient pov. I prefer deep close third pov - and the description only happens where well motivated and required by the plot.
We all notice what other people look like, to some extent, but it completely stops the story to do it in what is similar to an infodump.
I'm trying to remember if I've used the mirror trick in any of my books. I hope not! If I have, I need to go back and cut it! I remember being warned about not using it, and I always judge when I see it in other people's books. Sorry, not sorry. I once heard some advice about soft-pedaling your character's appearance so that the reader can envision them for themselves. That pairs well with your good advice here.
Unfortunately, it's very, very easy to describe our characters with a mirror! And, it's not something that people will throw rotten tomatoes at us for. We hope! But it's nice to know there are other ways.
Thanks for the comment, Lissa!
This is terrific. I think what you're getting at is a question of showing rather than telling. I always feel like when I read a laundry list of physical characteristics, I forget them, but when a character's physicality is incorporated into how they move and behave, it's more memorable. Thanks for the great explanations.
Thanks, Michelle! You're exactly right -- it is a matter of showing not telling. And, it's also a matter of deep POV, and good description. So, it all works.
Thanks!
I write in deep POV, and figure readers will wait until another character notices what the POV character looks like. Or, I've said, "At five-four, she'd never considered herself particularly short, but she had to tilt her head to meet his eyes." Shows her height and something about his, too.
Yes! Excellent way to do it! Perfect way to let her EXPERIENCE her height, instead of it coming out of nowhere.
Good job!
So far, feeling my way through a fiction I've envisioned in fragments, I have two characters who are supposedly uncle and niece but are actually not related. Those two have a long uneasy history. A newly arrived character, trying to figure out the relationship, has noticed that they do not resemble each other physically, hears a bit of backstory from her, and is silently satisfied to have that piece of the puzzle fall into place. It will later turn out that the little puzzle piece, which seems insignificant to the new character, is essential to the overall story.
Oh, that works great! You've made it a major part of the mystery and question in the story. That's the way to do it!
The word mirror appears about a dozen times in my WIP. Only once is the main character looking at himself. It's near the end of the book. He's noticing change to his appearance. He comments it reflects his mood.
(There is someone admiring new earrings on their ears, but nothing describes her there.)
For the most part, I follow this mantra for details: Does the reader need to know this? Does the reader need to know it now? This makes me look for spots that fit in description in a way that matters. Eye color rarely maters. Height and weight often do. Things that make someone uncomfortable in their skin matter more than things that make them comfortable---we don't notice being comfortable.
I once read a book that described each character physically when the reader met them. It pulled me out of the action every time. It was done specifically to show the cast was diverse. But it was telling, not showing.
Exactly, Debbie. If it pulls you out, description -- or anything else, for that matter, it could be done in a different way.
Good! Thanks!
The mirror trick always irritates the heck out of me. *I* can't use it, so that author can't use it kind of thing. LOL.
I learned from Les Edgerton that the less you describe how the character looks, the better it is for you. The reader will put in the description then, and it will make THEM bond with the character. Behavior, mannerisms, community, yes. Actual "police sketch" details...he said don't do it. Because if you do it, it won't give your reader a chance to see THEMSELVES.
He literally changed how I think of character description.
Exactly, Jenny! What a great way to put it!
This is timely information for me as I'm revising the first draft of my first novel. Thank you, Sally.
Glad to help, Janet. Revision is really the exact place to "fix" this sort of thing. If we're worrying about whether something is right, we're not allowing our creative mind the space to tell the story. Good for you!
I rarely describe the physcial attributes of a character anymore unless it's important to the story or to any other character. Like a height difference, or how they're dressed relates to their air of character, like snobbery, elitism, factory worker, etc.
I totally agree that a mirror shouldn't be used as description aid. The best use of a mirror is when they're seeing their soul, questioning their values, or horrified at what they've just done. Great blog post!
Good point, Diana! We certainly can put those mirrors to good use. Thanks!
I do have a mirror scene in the first novel in my Pride's Children mainstream trilogy - because she's a narcissist, and a rather beautiful actress who needs to reassure herself:
"She slid out of the negligee. Her body posed itself for her approval in the triple mirror, posture and attitude honed by coaching and practice, her right leg bent just so. Her instrument. Taut and muscled, just the right hint of firmness under a thin softening layer: in repose, female. She worked hard for the perfect effect. She’d seen women body builders in person, once, and they disgusted her: unnatural women’s heads on men’s bodies, their breasts either empty from total absence of body fat—or fake. She cradled her breasts like her best custom underwire bra. The nipples stiffened obediently, tightening the skin. Perfectly formed, perfectly proportioned B cups, heavy. The gift that convinced her God meant her to be on a pedestal."
The other characters get described only by one of the three main characters when that character has a real reason for noticing something.
Describing what characters look like when they first appear seems to be a feature of having a narrator/omniscient pov. I prefer deep close third pov - and the description only happens where well motivated and required by the plot.
We all notice what other people look like, to some extent, but it completely stops the story to do it in what is similar to an infodump.
It is similar to an infodump, Alicia. Nice when we can find something better.