Writers in the Storm

by Margie Lawson

Why a blog about hugs?

Because on the page a hug may be blah-blah. But it could carry this kind of power.

Her arms wrapped around me like chains, her whispered words the lock sealing my fate.

Wow.

Steena Holmes, NYT Bestseller, 2-time Immersion Grad, wrote that hug.

Look at the words that carry psychological power: chains, whispered, lock, sealing, and fate.

Five Power Words in a fifteen-word sentence.

Power Words carry power.

And Steena played off chains and lock.

Brilliant writing.

Steena could have written: 

She wrapped her arms around me and whispered in my ear.

Aack! We’ve read that type of line. No power there.

Not brilliant writing.

Two more hugs from Steena Holmes. These are from The Patient, her Oct. 15 release.

1. I wait for Mommy to get upset at Daddy for leaving me here all by myself. Any minute now she’s going to scoop me up in her arms and have me sit in her lap. Her arms will be tight around me, like a big soft bear hug, and I’ll be okay.

The child knows the dynamics between her parents and anticipates a lovey hug from Mommy. But Steena took it deeper by sharing the impact that hug would have on the little girl.

2. I hugged her again so she couldn’t see the lie on my face. 

Now the POV character is an adult, and the hug has nothing to do with caring or comforting. That hug is a ploy to keep the other character from seeing she is lying.

And Steena made it CLEAR on the page. The reader knows what the POV character is doing and why.

Let’s dive in and check out powerfully written hugs from some more Immersion Grads.

Cassandra Cotton and Featherstone’s Folly, Marin McGinnis, Immersion Grad

Two Paragraphs:

“Mum!” Charles hurled himself into my arms, nearly knocking me arse over elbow given how much taller he was than I. But in that moment I forgot he was full grown, and I clasped him so tightly we were nearly one person. I imagined he was my little boy again, imagined I could make any hurt go away. Imagined I hadn’t just put myself in mortal danger trying to solve my uncle’s murder. 

But I had, and I was bloody lucky I was still able to hug my son.  

So many smart Teaching Points in that example.

• Slipped in the difference in height in an interactive way.
• Shared a Yes Set:  … and I clasped him so tightly we were nearly one person.

Most people have had that experience, but thought it with different words.

The Yes Set means the reader knows that feeling, identifies more with the POV character, and keeps reading and reading and reading.

• Used anaphora. A couple thousand Margie grads know this rhetorical device. Using the same word or words to kick off a minimum of three phrases or sentences in a row.
• Drop Down Power Line – White Space adds emphasis. That drop down power line carries perfect cadence and content.

The examples below are not analyzed. My Deep Edit Analyses would make the blog too long.

Curve Ball, Not Yet Published, Carrie Padgett, Immersion Grad

Grant moved deliberately, thanks to the sling around his shoulder, and gave her a one-armed hug as gentle as cotton candy floating on a breeze. 

Exit Strategy by Lainey Cameron, Immersion Grad, publishing mid-2020 

1. David stood, and she pulled him close. If hugs healed, she’d hold him all night.  

2. She set aside her mini champagne bottle, and they hugged long enough to hear each other's breathing.

Runaway Surgeon, Not Yet Published, Marie Timlin, Immersion Grad

She couldn’t see his face, but felt his rock-hard body pressed against her back. Closing her eyes against shock waves—tens on the Richter scale—she couldn’t prevent the shudder that rocked through her. His arm banded her midriff and he leaned in. Her toes curled as his lips brushed her ear.

Susan’s Story, Not Yet Published, Joyce Caylor, Immersion Grad

The little girl hugging the POV character is almost two years old.

She could feel all five fingers press into the right side of her neck, the other side enduring a strong tug of her hair. Two little arms, too short to reach all the way around. Her everything.

His Unexpected Amish Family, Rachel J. Good, 2-Time Immersion Grad

Two Examples:

1. Mary leaned over to give Anna a one-armed side-hug along with a poor-you smile.

2. Levi longed to hug her. Although if he did, it wouldn’t resemble the encouraging hugs he gave the little ones. The gentle I’m-here-for-you or I-know-you-can-do-it hugs. Or even the cheery you’ll-be-all-right hugs. His hug for Anna would encompass all of those, but he worried it might turn into an ­I’m-falling-for-you hug. Or, if he wasn’t careful, a promise of much, much more.

Raewyn Bright, 4-time Immersion Grad

Five Paragraphs:

He cradled her head on his shoulder. She froze, left her hands dangling useless at her sides. She’d never been held like this, not by him, not by Ash, certainly not by Norna. But then, she’d never exposed her vulnerability before.

Would he use her weakness against her? Again?

A physical attack she expected and would’ve welcomed. This attack on her desire for affection and her constant, unmet need for love was a battle she’d lose.

She pulled back to shove him away. But a tender expression crossed his face. An expression she’d never seen on him. He looked as lost as she felt, as lonely and in need of love too.

It was too revealing, too confronting. She broke free from him. She was a strong warrior, fierce, and unafraid of anything. Yet her heart pounded out of control like she was petrified.

Untitled WIP, Rebecca Hodge, 2-time Immersion Grad

The POV character is a 13 year old boy.

She gave me a quick hug, but it wasn't anything like Mom's hugs. Mom's hugs were so fierce on my ribs it made it hard to move, and they smelled like her perfume. This ordinary hug hardly felt like a hug at all, and it just smelled like plain old tomato sauce. 

Believing Amos, Not Yet Published, Christel Cothran, Immersion Grad

Before I knew it, I was clinched in his arms, pressed to his chest, arms pinned to my sides, feet dangling. His hold was so tight, I wondered if I could breathe and just as quickly I was released. Amos set me down with all the concern of a Delta baggage handler.

From Christel Cothran’s Email to Me:

Know there are also hugs from me in this email. A good new-friend hug, a thank-you hug, and a hug to keep for just when you need one.

The Mortician's Daughter: Two Feet Under, C.C. Hunter (Christie Craig), Immersion Grad

Four Amplified Hugs

1. Before I realize what she’s doing, Mrs. Carter crosses the threshold and hugs me. Hugs me so tight that everything inside me feels squeezed. My lungs. My heart. My confidence. I instantly feel claustrophobic.

2. He moves in and hugs me. Burying my face in his shoulder, I breathe in, wanting to savor the daddy scent. The I’m-your-hero aroma that has gotten me through so many tough times in my life.

3. She comes around and hugs me. Tight. I hug her back, remembering the hug with Annie’s mom. Hugging people you barely know is awkward, but it’s feeling less awkward with Mrs. Carter after each one. Maybe because I feel the connection to her through Hayden. Or maybe because I know she needs the hugs so badly.

4. Still unsure of the right words, I hug her—tight. Hanging on, I start counting, because yesterday I read an online article that said for a hug to really be beneficial it needs to last twenty seconds. Which is why Dad’s short embraces don’t cut it anymore. Twenty-one. Twenty-two. At twenty-three, I still don’t want to let go. But I’m not sure if it’s all for her or for me. Probably both.

One more hug. This one is from a dog.

The Six-Percent Baby, Not Yet Published, Jenny Hansen, 2-Time Immersion Grad

Hoshi greeted us, her doggy body vibrating with joy until she looked into my face. She stilled, leaned against my leg, whined. I melted to the floor, burying my face in her soft black fur.

I chanced a look at Steve and the grief on his face wrecked me. “I’m sorry, Honey. I’m so sorry.”

He sank beside me in the entryway. Hoshi draped her ninety-pound self across our laps in her version of a group hug.

And finally, the real tears came. The ugly ones that turn your face into a chewed-up dog toy.

I had to include the last paragraph. It was too perfect to leave out.

How Can You Write Fresh Hugs?

Add to this Starter List for Types of Hugs

1. Pat
   Your Back
2. Hug
   with One a Step Higher
3. Slow
   Dance Arms and Sway
4. Squeeze
   and Release
5. Squeeze
   and Hold
6. Barely
   There
7. Too
   Tight
8. Trapped
   with Arms Locked Around Neck
9. Feeling
   the Love in a Big Bear Hug
10. Others?
11. Others?
12. Others?
13. Others?

Add to this Starter List for Motivations for Hugs

1. Love
2. Caring
   and Support
3. Excitement
4. Doing
   What’s Expected
5. Manipulation
6. The
   Cover-Up: Showing the Opposite of How You Feel
7. Pity
8. Others?
9. Others?
10. Others?

Hug Homework:

Create a list of your hug experiences. Make notes about some of those hugs.

• Type
• Motivation
• Impact on you

Some people are natural huggers. When you get a hug from one of them, you feel like you’re wrapped in pure love.

With others, you may feel like you’re wrapped in ______.  Fill in that blank. :-)

When you initiated a hug and received a response you didn’t expect, how did you feel? How did you react? Could be negative or positive.

When you received a hug you didn’t expect, how did you feel? How did you react? Could be negative or positive.

Write hugs the POV character initiated and received. How did they feel? How did they react? Could be negative or positive.

Do you see how writing a hug in a fresh way can add depth and power?

I hope you all don’t settle for blah-blah writing. Remember, fresh writing sells.

So fitting that my topic is hugs. We all need more hugs. Given the catastrophic loss in my life, now I cherish hugs even more.

THANK YOU to the WITS team for hosting me again. Sending lots of lovey hugs to you all.

BLOG GUESTS -- THANK YOU for dropping by WITS.

Please post a comment. Say Hi – or share a hug you wrote.

I would love to read lots of fresh hugs.

You could win a Lecture Packet from me or an online class from Lawson Writer’s Academy valued up to $100.

The drawing will be Sunday night, 9:00 PM Mountain Time.

Lawson Writer’s Academy – November Courses

• Potent Pitches and Brilliant Blurbs, Instructor: Suzanne Purvis
• Giving Your Chapters a Pulse,Instructor: Rhay Christou
• Biz Smarts for Writers,Instructor: Sarah Hamer
• Ta Da! How to Put Funny on the Page, Instructor: Lisa Wells
• How to Write a Novel in Evernote,
• Instructor: Lisa Norman
• New Course: Blood, Sweat, and Tears: Writing Realistic Scenes from the Front Seat of an Ambulance, Instructor: Julie Rowe and Jeffrey Petrock

About Margie

Margie Lawson —editor and international presenter – teaches writers how to use her psychologically-based editing systems and deep editing techniques to create page turners.

She’s presented over 120 full day master classes in the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and France, as well as taught multi-day intensives on cruises in the Caribbean.

To learn about Margie’s 5-day Immersion Master Classes, full day and weekend workshops, keynote speeches, online courses through Lawson Writer’s Academy, lecture packets, and newsletter, please visit: www.margielawson.com

Interested in inviting me to present a full day workshop for your writing organization? Contact me through her website, or Facebook Message me.

Interested in attending one of my 5-day Immersion Master Classes? Click over to my website and check them out.

Registration is open for Immersion classes in Atlanta, Denver, Poulsbo (WA), Pittsburgh, San Jose, Jacksonville, and Milnathort, Scotland!

I’m adding three Immersion classes in Australia too. Email me if you’re interested.

Thanks so much for reading this blog. I can’t wait to read your comments and hugs!

by Eldred Bird

When I first started writing, I remember someone asking me what my book was about. I stammered and stalled, trying to think about how to best describe it.

“Um…it’s about this guy, see? He um…well…he’s kind of a…”

“Just give me your elevator pitch.”

I stood there like a deer caught in the headlights.

“You know, your logline.”

“Logline? What’s a logline?”

Thus began my real education as an author. That was the day I learned it wasn’t just about writing books, but also being able to talk to people about what I’d written. I needed to be ready at any moment to clearly and coherently communicate the bones of my story. And that, my friends, is the logline.

What is a Logline?

Some people use the terms Logline and Tagline interchangeably. Those people are wrong. For more on that, you can read Laura Drake’s explanation here.

In the simplest terms, the log line is a brief summary of your story—we’re talking very brief—like one or two sentences brief. Sounds difficult, right? How do you condense a whole book into something you can get out in one breath? Let’s take a look.

What is a Logline Good For?

The logline is kind of the Swiss Army Knife of writing tools. If you talk to anyone in Hollywood about your story, the first thing they will ask you for is your logline. It’s the fuel that runs the engine of the entertainment industry.

Your logline is the key that cracks the door open just enough to make your pitch, but it can be a lot more.

As Marcy Kennedy pointed out in her post, creating a logline can help you focus on the important elements of your story. If you can, do it before you sit down to your keyboard. Printing it out and keeping it in front of you as you write can help you stay on track if, like me, you tend to wander off a lot.

I’m not saying you have to be one hundred percent be locked in once you create your logline. Feel free to modify and evolve it as you write, but think hard about those changes before making them.

Some Examples from Hollywood

A doctor wrongly convicted of killing his wife escapes custody and struggles to prove his innocence while being pursued by a relentless U.S. Marshal.  – The Fugitive

An epic tale of a 1940s New York Mafia family and their struggle to protect their empire, as the leadership switches from the father to his youngest son. – The Godfather

A young man and woman from different social classes fall in love aboard an ill-fated voyage at sea. - Titanic

What goes into a Logline?

There are three basic elements you need to include in your logline:

• your main character
• your plot
• what’s at stake

The Main Character (MC) – Who is your main character? Not their name, but a defining characteristic. Names don’t matter at this point because we have nothing to attach them to. We need adjectives, strong descriptive adjectives. Is your MC a reclusive writer? A disgraced ex-cop? A teenage mutant ninja turtle? Get out your thesaurus and paint me a picture with a couple of well chosen words.

The Plot – What’s happening in your story? Think of your inciting incident—the hammer that hits your MC on the head and puts them on the path of no return. What is your MC’s objective? What’s standing in their way? In many cases, the character is their own roadblock. Success may hinge on overcoming internal struggles and their own fears.

The Stakes – What’s at risk should your MC fail to reach their objective? Is it death, world destruction, or the loss of their sanity? Including a ticking time-bomb can up the tension. If your MC doesn’t do A before B happens, then the consequences are C.

Putting the Elements Together

Okay, I’m not really a fan of formulas when it comes to writing, but this is one of the rare exceptions. Not that plugging your story elements into a formula will magically give you an amazing logline, but it will give you a good head start—a first draft you can shape and polish. Once you’ve identified the elements listed above, try plugging them into this formula:

When [INCITING INCIDENT OCCURS], a [SPECIFIC PROTAGONIST] must [OBJECTIVE], or else [STAKES].

Pretty simple, right? Let’s plug something in and see what we get.

When his agent forces his hand, a reclusive writer must become more like the adventurous character he has created, or risk losing his livelihood.

It’s a little rough around the edges, but now we have a logline for my first book, Killing Karma. No more panic when someone asks…well, maybe a little panic, but it’s a start.

This first draft forced me to think about the story elements. Was the inciting incident really the agent forcing his hand? Was becoming like his MC driving the plot? The answer was no. Coming up with a log line forced this pantser to take a hard look at his story and dive into the true meat of it. In the end, this is how the finished logline came out.

The death of his over-protective mother forces a reclusive writer to find a way to survive in a world with which he is ill-equipped to deal.

The Main Character – A reclusive writer.

The inciting incident - The death of his mother.

The Stakes – The MC’s very survival.

This is much more focused and highlights the true roots of the story. And this brings me to my next point.

Other Uses for Your Logline

Having the main elements of your story identified and in front of you can give you a leg up on some of the steps that happen after you complete your manuscript. Your logline is the foundation of your sales toolbox. It can be crafted into many other tools.

Expand your single sentence story into a four or five sentence pitch. Keep it on a note card until you know it by heart. You never know when someone will ask.

Your logline and tagline are a great starting point for your book blurb. Make sure to add in that ticking time-bomb, but no spoilers!

Use the logline in your query letters to get the point across quickly and catch an agent’s attention.

Loglines are a great launching point for your advertising. Building your ads with the logline in mind will help to keep your branding consistent.

Some Final Words

Whether you’re a pantser or plotter, a logline is a great tool to have at your disposal, both during and after you write you book. It’s a motivator, a sales pitch and a guidebook for your writing journey. Put as much care into your log line as you do your manuscript and it will serve you well.

About Eldred

Eldred Bird writes contemporary fiction, short stories, and personal essays. He has spent a great deal of time exploring the deserts, forests, and deep canyons inside his home state of Arizona. His James McCarthy adventures, Killing Karma and Catching Karma, reflect this love of the Grand Canyon State even as his character solves mysteries amidst danger. Eldred explores the boundaries of short fiction in his stories, The Waking Room and Treble in Paradise: A tale of Sax and Violins.

When he’s not writing, Eldred spends time cycling, hiking and juggling (yes, juggling…bowling balls and 21 inch knives). His passion for photography allows him to record his travels. He can be found on Twitter or Facebook, or at his website: http://www.eldredbird.com/.

by Becca Puglisi

As writers, we all know how difficult it can be to win readers over. The writing has to be strong, the events realistic, the characters well-rounded, etc. etc. We know the list of barriers to reader engagement, and there are ample resources available to address the usual suspects.

But what if that barrier is a pivotal piece of the story itself? Maybe the main character is an unsympathetic one that readers aren’t likely to empathize with or root for. Or we might be taking a political or social stance on an issue that many readers find unappealing.

Situations like these add another layer of complexity because for people to read that story, their perspective must first be challenged. We have to get them liking the miserable protagonist. We have to present a current event from a different angle that gets them thinking about it in a new way. Without that shift in perspective, readers won’t buy in, and the story, no matter how well it’s written, is going to gather dust.

So how do we make that happen? One of the easiest ways is by using the rest of the cast.

This became clear to me during the latest season of Stranger Things. Max’s stepbrother Billy has never had a whole lot going for him. He’s abusive and treats everyone like crap. When he comes on the scene in season two, viewers universally don’t like him very much.

But season three adds a new dimension to his profile: sex appeal. Like, massive. But how? How do we get from What a jerk to Dude, he’s totally hot in such a short span of time?

And then it hit me. It’s the cast. Viewers fell in line because of the rest of the cast.

The high school girls in Hawkins were already swooning, and that’s to be expected, because Billy’s got the whole Bad Boy thing going on. But writers upped the ante in season three. The first episode finds Billy working as a lifeguard at the local pool, where all the neighborhood moms have come to ogle him. The moms are ogling. They’re putting on their skimpiest suits and timing their arrival so they can eye him over their Ray-Bans as he makes his entrance. Every female over a certain age is suddenly drooling over Billy Hargrove.

This was fascinating to me because I never really thought of him as sex symbol material (awesome car and Screw You attitude notwithstanding). But we all bought into it because the rest of the cast told us to. If they’re all saying the same thing, and we haven’t seen it, then we must have missed something. And we should, therefore, get on board. Peripheral characters can be super influential in this way. If you need to sway readers’ opinions about a character, use the rest of the cast to lead them where you want them to go.

Interestingly enough, this method works just as well for ideas and concepts.

One of the few books I still have from my childhood was about Robin Hood. Those stories fascinated me; I mean, he was such a good guy, looking out for the poor and fighting the dictatorial powers-that-be. I was into my teens before it fully occurred to me that the hero I’d been rooting for was a thief and a criminal.

These facts don’t stop people from loving him. The Robin Hood legend originated in the 14^th century and is constantly being reinvented and explored through books, song, movie, and who knows what other formats. Most people admire him—even while believing that stealing is morally wrong and order in society should be upheld. Yet we suspend judgment in his case. Why?

Partly because the other characters in and around Nottingham all loved Robin Hood. If they weren’t venturing into Sherwood to join him, they were supporting him in his anti-establishment campaign. After all, he wasn’t stealing to benefit himself; he was stealing to help them—the impoverished and undervalued. And he’s stealing from bad guys, the ones who are actively mistreating the common people. When you look at it from their perspective, what he’s doing isn’t bad, right? It’s actually good.

And voilá! A hero is born.

I found another example of this in a recent read called The Boneless Mercies. In a Viking-esque setting, Frey leads a band of girls who make their living by committing mercy killings. Would someone in your family be better off dead? You want to die yourself? Hire Frey, and her Mercies will take care of it.

Sounds pretty out there, right? Like, how could that ever be a legitimate thing? But because the people of this world place a high value on bravery and dying a good death, and because they view the concept of mercy killings as acceptable, the idea becomes believable and a natural part of the fictional landscape. Readers may not embrace it, but it’s no longer a barrier to entry.

These examples showed me that the secondary characters in a story can be very powerful in influencing reader opinion. Authors who need to challenge the reader’s ideas can deftly wield these characters as tools. And the process is really quite simple.

First, endow the cast members with the beliefs, ideals, or opinions that you want your reader to share or at least consider. Have the rest of the characters admire the bad guy in some way. Make them sympathetic to an unpopular idea. Let them approach existing social or political ideas from a different viewpoint. The more naturally you can do this, the better. Don’t make a big statement; just show that this is normal for the cast, and it’s more likely to become normalized for the reader.

For instance, The Boneless Mercies opens with Frey’s band at work. It’s a peaceful scene, with the mark being completely at ease as Frey makes her comfortable—offering her wine, discussing the woman’s life, using soft words and gentle touches. And somewhere in the scene, we see these lines: She’d hired us herself. Her husband, children—all dead from sickness.

Without a lot of fanfare, and through the context of what’s happening, the author shows us that this woman wants to die. It’s a mercy killing, and it seems to be somewhat normal, just a matter of course. From page one, readers learn that this is part of the culture. They’re able to suspend their own judgment for this particular story.

Secondly, remember that readers will be more likely to change their stance if the author provides that all-important empathy piece. Billy Hargrove’s backstory of abuse makes it easier for us to view him positively. Robin Hood’s policy of theft and wealth distribution is more palatable because of the environment of injustice it seeks to resolve. Years of gently killing the old, feeble, and infirm have taken their toll on Frey’s Mercies, infringing on their basic human needs of esteem and self-actualization; this humanization makes them relatable and easy to empathize with. Research your setting, the character’s backstory, and their flaws and weaknesses so you’ll know which bits are most likely to pull the reader’s heartstrings, and be sure to include that information.

Listen, writing is hard. Telling a story about concepts or characters that readers find repugnant is even harder. But those stories are still worth telling. Empower your cast with the role of challenging your reader’s perspective, and the job will become a whole lot easier.

About Becca

Becca Puglisi is an international speaker, writing coach, and bestselling author of books for writers—including her latest publication: a second edition of The Emotion Thesaurus, an updated and expanded version of the original volume. 

Her books are available in multiple languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. She is passionate about learning and sharing her knowledge with others through her Writers Helping Writers blog and via One Stop For Writers—a powerhouse online library created to help writers elevate their storytelling.