Writers in the Storm

I read a blog the other day that taught me a new writing craft term: Countersinking. This is how Rob Bignell defines it in his article:

One way for an author to slow a story is to employ “countersinking,” a term coined by science fiction writer Lewis Shiner. Countersinking involves making explicit the very actions that the story implies. An example is: “We need to hide,” she said, asking him to seek cover. 

Countersinking is also known as “expositional redundancy” and for good reason; in the above example, the character’s dialogue already directly states that she thinks they should hide. So why repeat it? 

Besides slowing the story’s dramatic momentum, countersinking suggests the author lacks confidence in his or her storytelling ability. 

The solution is simple: Cut the redundant wording to tighten your writing. The above example could be rewritten as: “We need to hide,” she said.

Yes! This always bothered me in writing (including mine), but I didn't know there was a name for it. I agree with Shiner - it's due to the writer lacking confidence, but the result is worse than simply slowing the read. It can insult the reader. It makes them feel like the writer is 'talking down to them'. Like you think they're too dumb to get it the first time.

Wait, you say, repetition is obvious, and though irritating, but it's easily edited. I Beg to differ. Because it's a lot more to it than simple repetition. It's sneaky; it comes in ways that are easy to miss. The brilliant Margie Lawson taught me that the best way to explain is with examples, so here goes. And a huge thank you for a brave writer who gave me permission to use her words.

Simple Repetition:

"Miss Fairchild?" A man called out my name. The first shows - the tag tells.

I had no idea what to say to that. "Um...thank you?" The dialogue line shows, the beginning is redundant.

Ethan didn't look after her. He was still looking at me. We need one or the other, but not both. The second tells us more than the first.

I walk on, dragging the clattering contraption behind. This one was mine. If you're walking, you have to be moving on, right? 'On' is redundant. See how small, but irritating this can be?

And I hurt. My whole body felt like a giant living bruise. The right side of my face throbbed. Both my hips and my left shoulder were bone-deep aches. You told, then did a great job of showing. You don't need the tell.

Info we don't need: This is subtler. I call this, 'trust your reader to get it'

I knocked a couple of times to get their attention. That's what a knock is for.

I shook my head. Get a grip, Summer.

"Everything okay?" Ethan had noticed the head-shake. His dialogue line makes it obvious that he noticed.

"I don't know any other Ethans." My attempt at a joke. Telling the reader it's a joke, ruins the joke!

I looked down at my hands and picked at my chipped nail polish. Where else would nail polish be? Okay, I'll give you that it could be on her toes - but picking at your toenails when you're talking to someone in public? My brain doesn't jump there (and that's just, ewwwwww).

Sentence is out of order: Maybe not exactly repetition, but it's close. This is another lesson I learned from Margie. We read linearly; so you can't give us a reaction before the reason for it.

I jumped. One of the waiters had come up beside us without me noticing. The jump can't come first.

I tore the plastic seal free and swung the bottle in a wide arc.

I got lucky. Clear, toxic, paint stripper caught Kai full in the face and Tak in one eye. You can't say, 'lucky' until we know how. You could put it at the end, but I'd make the case that you don't need it at all. The sentence 'shows' us she was lucky.

Name repetition:  A pronoun should be your go-to.The only reason you need to type the person's name is at the beginning of the scene, and if there are more than one of that gender in the scene, and the pronoun won't tell us whom is speaking. How often do you say someone's name in a conversation with them? Not often, I'll bet. Dialogue in fiction is real world, without the boring stuff. It's even more painful if the person has an odd, or difficult name--it gets obvious/irritating, fast.

"Thank you, Lara." Lieutenant Spadinski's lips parted in a polite smile. Something about the hard set of his chin and the harder set of his eyes made me think of a dog baring his teeth, but he sank into the seat.

I guessed Lieutenant Spadinski wasn't thrilled to be summoned to the Kane mansion, first thing on a Sunday morning. Outside his jurisdiction. Over a piece of graffiti. Besides, doesn't just typing that name get irritating?

“Do you want a coffee?” Eve asked. “You’re looking a little pale.”

Even Ethan’s hand, warm on the small of my back, wasn’t enough to distract me from the doubt churning in my gut. “Coffee sounds great, Eve. Thanks.”

Repetition is a sneaky little error, easily overlooked in editing. But if you do this a lot, the reader may never recognize it's bothering them--they'll just put your book down (and may never pick it back up). Once you get used to watching out for it, I promise, the repetition will jump off the page at you.

Is this something you're guilty of? (Hint: we all are). Will you share some of your repetitions with us in the comments?

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by Tasha Seegmiller

Last month, I attended my first residency for an MFA in Writing from Pacific University. While there was some trepidation about going back to school at 40, and a bit about how the workload is all going to fit into my life, the main nervousness was surrounding how the instructors and members of my critique group were going to respond to my writing.

This isn’t the first time that I’ve sat live while people talk about my work – I have the good fortune to be a member of a critique group that meets in person every two weeks, each of us critiquing 15 pages for the others and receiving feedback in return. I’ve come to understand that logic and reality don’t always mesh.

Very quickly, it was clear that the critique I thought I was going to receive was not what the instructor wanted to talk about. And I’m of the very strong opinion that when someone takes time to talk about and work through your writing, your job is to listen, take notes, ask for clarification, and then allow time to process.

Still, sitting there, I could feel all the defenses within me clamoring to jump out, to rescue, to protect.

This is a lesson that almost all writers are aware they need to learn. They are probably also aware they have learned it. But I also think learning to sit with the discomfort of a critique is not a lesson we grasp after the first instruction. With that in mind, I’d like to offer a few suggestions on how to be okay with this difficult part of being a writer:

1. Try really hard to remember the critique isn’t about you.

I get it. You have put effort into creating something you feel strongly about, characters you dreamed up, a setting that feels just right, a plot that is balancing all the things. But when someone is talking about your work, they are talking about just that – the work. Not the creator, not the idea, but what they can read on the page in front of them as it has been presented to them.

Critique partners and beta readers don’t have access to how the whole story unfolded in our head, they can just see what is on the paper, and they are taking time to provide insight into their reading experience to help the story be better.

2. Take lots of notes

When a critique starts taking a path we didn’t expect, when we thought the story was just right and then it wasn’t, our bodies often perceive this as a threat and then we enter fight/flight/freeze mode aka the moment when our body is responding and our mind is no longer totally in control.

When this happens, just keep writing down what people say. Seriously, you’ll get to the manuscript a day or two later and not remember anything that was said, let alone what you might be able to do to fix it. Just remember that the way you feel will generally relax a bit as you step away from the situation and you want to still tap into those benefits.

3. Get back into your window of tolerance

This is a term I learned lately, which is a place where you can sit with things that you don’t necessarily like without amping up or checking out. This is the part where the passionate physical response we may have had gets a chance to recognize that we aren’t in danger, that we don’t need to be ready for a rumble or a run.

For some people, returning to this window is really easy. For others, deep breathing, a walk, or just time is necessary to convince all the systems within us designed to keep us alive that it’s a critique, not a sabretooth tiger, and we are okay.

4. Be objective

This is why the window of tolerance is necessary. After receiving a rough edit or critique, and getting back to a safe space, pull out those notes, revisit your own, and see the piece as they did.

You might have to chant to yourself that the critique is about the writing, not you. You might need to break out what a colleague of mine calls emotional-support Oreos. But then read, listen, study, and learn from your own writing.

5. A caveat

There are times when, good intentioned as they may be, a critique partner, beta reader, agent or even editor will make a suggestion that after you’ve gone through all these steps, still feels wrong. Okay. You are the writer. It’s your story. And just because someone suggests something doesn’t mean you have to do it. Honoring every single suggestion will lead to a story you don’t recognize. But I would recommend if you don’t want to accept a suggested change, you take the time to write or talk out why. Even if it is just to yourself. If you are going to write something a certain way, you should be keenly aware of the reason.

So what about that hard critique I got?

Surprise!

Just kidding, it’s not. The readers were right. Their complaint was that the story started too slowly, that they couldn’t see the conflict, that they weren’t sure how to connect with the character.

I needed to write those pages to get her in my mind, but the reader doesn’t need them to join the story where the book starts. So I opened a new document, did a quick outline of how I’d like the scene to progress, what I want the reader to feel about the character, and then I started writing it, pulling in some of the lovely images I’d created before.

Because of intentional feedback from others, I had my attention drawn toward a blind spot that (surprise) I didn’t know I had. A blind spot I might have continued crossing into, unknowingly.

And you know what?

The story is better.

How do you go about processing, editing or revising your work after a critique?

About Tasha

Tasha Seegmiller believes in the magic of love and hope, which she weaves into every story she creates. She is the current president of the Women’s Fiction Writers Association and studying in the MFA in Writing program at Pacific U. The former high school English teacher now assists in managing the award-winning project-based learning program (EDGE) at Southern Utah University. Tasha married a guy she’s known since she was seven and is the mom of three teens. She is represented by Annelise Robey of Jane Rotrosen Agency.

by Angela Ackerman

Let me ask a question: how much time do you spend crafting a character for your novel, say a protagonist? Ten hours? Twenty? Fifty or more?

Whatever you answered, I bet we all agree that characters require a lot of work. Who they are in the story, what they want and need, what they fear, and how they will go about dealing with the challenges on the road ahead…these are not “surface” questions. Only by digging into the layers of a character’s mindset, personality, and backstory can we truly understand what matters most to them, drives them, and what will steer their behavior in the story.

The payoff is huge, though…writing them becomes so much easier! Every action, choice, and decision will logically flow from the information we’ve uncovered. Better yet, because we’ve worked so hard to create a character who experiences emotions, struggles, and inner doubt just as we ourselves do, readers will connect deeply to them and what they’re going through.

So, Is There a “Best Method” For Crafting a Character?

With infinite options for building characters and no right or wrong way, writers should experiment to discover what works best for them. For example, some find that using dozens of worksheets help them compile the information they need. Others may want to try a lengthy questionnaire or interview to pull out their character’s most intimate secrets. And anyone in the “Pantsers” category may forgo exhaustive pre-planning in favor of writing a discovery draft. Then, in subsequent iterations, they can revise to make their character’s behavior consistent, and go back to seed backstory elements as needed.

Honestly, I’ve tried everything at one point or another. My go-to method eventually became a notebook I would load with information as it occurred to me over the course of several weeks where I planned my character’s personality, emotional wounds, triggers, history, special qualities, skills, and more. But it was an arduous process…which told me I still needed to experiment.

This was part of the reason why Becca and I began building databases of information called thesauruses. We knew it would shorten the brainstorming curve.

This thesaurus collection has helped us (and others) plan deeper characters faster, but still, something was missing. We decided to experiment more at One Stop for Writers, a site we created a few years ago with Lee Powell, the creator of Scrivener for Windows and Linux. It contains our entire thesaurus database (14 subjects and growing) and many other custom storytelling tools.

Now, 18 months later, we’ve released the Character Builder, a hyper-intelligent tool that draws data from our description thesauruses, Idea Generator, and a boatload of insightful, behavior-based lists.

How the Character Builder Works

The character builder tackles all aspects of a strong character: Backstory, Personality, Motivation, Daily Life, etc. and allows writers to start their character planning wherever they would like.

If you are the sort of writer who gets a clear image of their character’s appearance, you can start there. Or if you know your hero is skilled with a bow, likes to collect haunted objects, or has a secret that he doesn’t want anyone to know, you can start with those elements, too. I often will know a character’s backstory wound, or what their goal (outer motivation) will be in the story, so that’s where I start.

Wherever you begin, the Character Builder will assist you by offering you specific detail you may wish to add, helping you to uncover more about the character. It’s able to do this because the tool is integrated with all the character-building information Becca and I have amassed over the last 10 years or so.

A Built-In Psychologist for Your Character? Yes!

Because the tool is always offering you specific options and ideas, it’s a bit like having a psychologist on staff who encourages you to go deeper to explore who your character is and WHY they behave the way they do. Then, the Character Builder collects key information that you’ve added and sends it to other areas of the profile so you can see how everything about your character is interconnected. One way it does this is by creating a Character Arc Blueprint that maps the character’s inner journey.

I don’t know about you, but for me, figuring out my character’s inner motivation is always the hardest piece of the puzzle. So, we gave this smart tool the ability to connect all the dots for us: the difficulties in the character’s past that have held them back or led to unhappiness, the goal that can give the character the fulfillment they seek, what’s at stake, and why the character is determined to achieve this goal at all costs. The blueprint even explains how the character’s Fatal Flaw will be their own biggest internal obstacle, and if not defeated, will cause the character to fail in the story. 

Once you’ve completed a character profile, you can save it, print it, or even export it to Scrivener. Here’s a PDF for our test character, Paul Graham.

The Character Builder is really helping me to understand my characters more deeply, meaning I can start drafting (my favorite part!) more quickly. If you think this tool might also help you, I hope you’ll check it out. To see it in action, Becca has created a walkthrough video below.

What is your process for creating a character, or are you still experimenting? Let me know in the comments!

If you’d like to give the Character Builder a spin, visit this link first so we can save you some money in the process.

Happy writing, everyone!

About Angela

Angela Ackerman is a writing coach, international speaker, and co-author of the bestselling book, The Emotion Thesaurus: A Writer's Guide to Character Expression (now a expanded 2nd edition) as well as six others. Her books are available in six languages, are sourced by US universities, and are used by novelists, screenwriters, editors, and psychologists around the world. Angela is also the co-founder of the popular site Writers Helping Writers, as well as One Stop for Writers, an innovative online library built to help writers elevate their storytelling. 

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