Writers in the Storm

Ann Griffin

As an indie author, I’ve been reading quite a few indie books lately. I have discovered a lot of fun reads and some great stories. However, I keep tripping over one particular writing error: breaking POV (Point of View.)

You seasoned writers with agents and editors who comb through your manuscripts looking for every tiny flaw, may not want to read this. But unpublished and indie published writers, this is for you.

A Quick Refresher

Point of View refers to who is narrating the story.

Ominscient/third person: The omniscient narrator can see into the heart and soul of every character, or any character the writer chooses. Popular in early novels, it is rarely used today in fiction, but is common in non-fiction. (He/she/it/them)

Limited/third person: The narrator is seeing the story through the eyes of one character, or maybe more, but never more than one in a single scene. This is the most common POV. (He/she/it.)

Close/first person: The narrator, who may or may not be the main character, tells the story. (I/Me)

There are more POVs possible, but they are uncommon, and I won’t discuss them here.

The character from whose point of view we write the story cannot know what others are thinking or feeling, or what is happening outside his or her presence.

Most Common Mistakes

Changing POV in a first person story

Example:

I gave Karen the envelope. “You’ve been served.”

She grabbed it and turned away, furious.

Did you catch it? The “I” doing the narrating cannot know how Karen feels.

How to correct the problem:

I gave Karen the envelope. “You’ve been served.”

She grabbed it, glowered at me, and stormed away.

Now the unnamed narrator describes Karen’s behavior. From this, we infer that Karen is angry, and we remain comfortably in the narrator’s point of view. Not only that, we have shown rather than told Karen’s emotions.

Head-Hopping

Example:

Bob and Phil lugged the cooler toward the blanket and thumped it down between Sara’s umbrella and the picnic table a few of the guys had dragged over. Sara wondered if Phil would want to hang out with her again as he had last week.

Phil gazed at Sara. Man, she was cute! He risked a smile. She smiled back.

Bob, tired of their endless flirting, groaned. “C’mon man, let’s go swimming.”

Extreme? I don’t think so. The book I finished last night was full of this kind of head-hopping into the brain of any character on the page. It left me confused, wondering who the story was about.

How to correct the problem:

First, identify the main character. For this example, I’m going to choose Phil, but you could re-write the section with any one of them as the main character. In fact, that could be a fun exercise. Try it!

Bob and Phil lugged the cooler toward the blanket and thumped it down between Sara’s umbrella and the picnic table. Sara sat on the blanket, fiddling with her earphone wires. She glanced at Phil.

Phil gazed at Sara. Man, she was cute! He wondered if she’d like to hang out with him today as she had last week. He risked a smile. She smiled back. His heart boomed.

Bob groaned and shoved Phil in the shoulder. “C’mon, man, let’s go swimming.”

In this version, we know what Phil is thinking about Sara. We think Sara might be thinking about him too because she smiles back. Is she embarrassed or nervous? Phil doesn’t know, so how could we? Bob’s behavior and comment imply he’s not interested in Phil and Sara’s little drama.

Too much Tell, Not Enough Show

This can happen anywhere, but it is a particular risk of first person or limited third person POV. Because you, the writer, know all the thoughts of your character, it is tempting to have your MC narrate a long section of endless backstory, before we get to any action. A book I read recently went on for thirteen pages before there was any interaction with another character. I nearly gave up.

On the other hand, a master writer like Michael Ondaatje begins his new book, Warlight, with the lengthy narration of a teenaged boy, the MC, that draws the reader into the half-lit, bizarre world of two teens abandoned by their parents and left in the care of spies and criminals, in post-war England. So it is possible to “show” while narrating, but it requires a lot of skill.

Changing POV Intentionally – in the wrong place

While it is acceptable practice to change POV in a new chapter or scene, most writers stick to three or fewer POV characters per book for the sake of simplicity. A brilliant example of use of different POVs and “person” is in House of Sand and Fog by Andre Dubus III. This tightly-written drama is written from the POVs of a woman down on her luck and an immigrant man desperate to make it in America. Both characters are written in first person, alternating by chapter. Later in the book, a third character, a detective of dubious ethics, becomes a main character, but his chapters are told in third person, distancing him slightly from the main conflict between the other two.

Marcia Fine’s Hidden Ones, a Veil of Memories,names each chapter after the character who narrates it, both in first person. One is a much-loved grandmother, and the other is her granddaughter. Since the grandmother spends much of the book in prison, unaware of what is going on in the family, the author had to create at least two points of view to move the story along. It’s a beautiful book.

J.K. Rowling breaks almost every POV rule in her Harry Potter series, but does it with such breathtaking talent that the reader doesn’t care. If you are not she, stick to the least number of character POVs that you can manage, to tell your story.

Never change POV in the middle of a scene, a paragraph, or a sentence. Unless you are J.K.

Your Turn

What have been your challenges and issues with POV?

Have you discovered any tricks to help you avoid mistakes?

 

BIO:

Ann Griffin is an indie published author of Another Ocean to Cross,historical fiction set in WWII. She has also published articles for the British Home Child Advocacy and Research Association. Her next book will be a follow-up to her first, but she is not running short of writing material and has a third book underway. She is a member of the Historical Authors Association, Women’s Fiction Writers Association, Toronto Writers’ Cooperative, and the Arizona Historical Authors Group. Ann divides her time between Mesa, Arizona and Toronto, Canada. Her website is http://www.anngriffinwriter.com, and she can be reached at info@anngriffinwriter.com

I first learned about Golden Lines the summer I attended the UCI Summer Writing Institute. After a particularly dense morning lecture, we were told to extract the golden lines, the ideas that we could use to improve our writing. Every year after the RWA Conference, I like to share the Golden Lines I've highlighted from my workshop notes.

We're lucky, because Jenny Hansen also attended the conference this year. She's sharing her golden lines, too.

Jenny Hansen's Golden Lines:

There were so many moments of grandeur at this year's RWA conference. The people are always the highlight for me - there are some people I only see at this conference and it means the world to watch their faces as we talk. That being said, the workshops I was able to attend were wonderful.

Cindy Dees, the PRO Mentor of the Year, lit the PRO Retreat on fire when she said this: "The three reasons why most of the writers I mentor are unpublished are personal, emotional or psychological. It has nothing to do with their writing." Note: PRO is the group for people who are unpublished but have finished manuscripts.

Alexandra Sokoloff's breakdown of 3-Act Structure: Act 1 – put the character up a tree, Act 2 – throw the rocks at them, Act 3 – resolve the problem. Easy-peasy, right?

Darcy Woods' amazing marketing tip: She picks her best lines from each chapter and finds a graphic to go with them. Looking at these keeps her head in the story and she has wonderful marketing graphics ready for when the book is finished.

Courtney Milan's stellar tip: "As you get published, you want to have three public topics. Those areas are where you will find your readers."

Kristan Higgins' workshop on Dialogue was full of amazing-ness!

• "The purpose of dialogue is to reveal character through what we do and do not say."
• "Dialogue can be broken into four parts: Realism, Timing, Emotion and Content."
• Rule: "No gratuitous content. Save that for real life."
• "Dialogue is about give and take. Words need to be spoken, but they also need to be received."
• "Enter a conversation as late as possible. End a conversation as early as you can. Make that last line stab the reader in the heart."

Fae's Golden Lines:

I was lucky to attend a couple of "pre-conference" activities. The first was a Margie Lawson Immersion class "on the mountain" with seven other amazing authors.

from Margie Lawson of Writers' Academy:

• "You have subconscious patterns you don't know about. What about your characters?"

"Subtext. Subtext. Subtext."

• "Can you put a character's thoughts into dialogue?"

Here's an example from my science fiction WIP of a "before" and the "after" Margie's talk about "Deep Editing Power."

Before: O's face showed her fury. In her line of fire, I looked around for something to shield me from her rage. If I lost her over those pictures, I'd never forgive myself.

After: O's expression detonates, like a star going nova, and my heart implodes, a black hole sucking everything into its darkness.

The day before the conference started, I attended the Young Adult online chapter's Day of Yarwa. Michael Hauge was the speaker. Since he wasn't speaking at RWA2018, I feel fortunate to have been in the first group to hear his new material about The Heroine's Three Journeys.

from Michael Hauge:

• "A writer's primary job is to make people feel by eliciting emotion."
• "Your characters must be in some state of conflict from the beginning. This creates empathy with the reader, so the reader can experience the story through the character."
• "Emotion grows out of conflict, not desire."
• "For a romance, you must ask and answer the question: Why are these the only two people in the world for each other? Why will no one else be 'the right one'?"
• "Each midpoint (turning point) is a 'point of no return,' which forces one character to fully commit to the other. Some objectives are fulfilled, others are not."

from the RWA2018 conference workshops:

Cristin Harber:

"Everything you do (in your marketing, social media, newsletters, etc) should fit into your brand."

Marc Dawson:

• "A weekly podcast is a must." It keeps you connected with your readers between books, allows readers to interact in the comments about their favorite characters, which books of yours they've read in a series, etc.
• "Orange is a great color for marketing."

Barbara Longley on Deep POV:

• "Deep POV allows you to connect, reveal self, sharing a character's backstory and personal growth, vulnerability and emotions."
• "Avoid 'filter words' which disconnect and distance the reader from your characters. Words like "she felt like,' it was like,' 'with a ____,' 'such as_____.'" She suggested a google search for filter words, then search and delete them from your manuscript.
• "Ditch the vague 'it.'"

If you were in Denver, please share your favorite Golden Lines in the comments.

Thanks!

Next month I'll post Part Three of my blog series on the 5 Conflict-making Choices Characters Can Make. We'll explore consumption and comfort.

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ABOUT FAE

Fae Rowen discovered the romance genre after years as a science fiction freak. Writing futuristics and medieval paranormals, she jokes  that she can live anywhere but the present. As a mathematician, she knows life’s a lot more fun when you get to define your world and its rules.

Punished, oh-no, that’s published as a co-author of a math textbook, she yearns to hear personal stories about finding love from those who read her books, rather than the horrors of calculus lessons gone wrong.  She is grateful for good friends who remind her to do the practical things in life like grocery shop, show up at the airport for a flight and pay bills.

A “hard” scientist who avoided writing classes like the plague, she now shares her brain with characters who demand that their stories be told.  Amazing, gifted critique partners keep her on the straight and narrow. Feedback from readers keeps her fingers on the keyboard, putting the finishing touches on P.R.I.S.M. Book Two.

P.R.I.S.M., a young adult science fiction romance story of survival, betrayal, resolve, deceit, lies, and love.

When she’s not hanging out at Writers in the Storm, you can visit Fae at http://faerowen.com  or www.facebook.com/fae.rowen

Fae also shares personal stories at YA Outside the Lines on the fifth of every month.

Susan Donovan

 

Pages per day. Word count. Butt in chair. Drop-dead due dates. These are our mantras, the rhythm of the writing life. Whether we work for ourselves or New York publishing houses, we authors are ninjas when it comes to merciless goal setting and self-flagellation.

But what do we do if our lives slam to a halt? What happens to our writing when our worlds crash down around us? It’s probably going to happen in some form, someday, to all of us. Writers are human, and the human experience includes times of disaster, loss, illness, and grief. Do you know how catastrophe might impact your writing career? Would writing become the last thing on your mind?

I was forced to answer those questions for myself a few years ago. I was minding my own business when I stepped off the proverbial curb and was hit by a metaphorical bus. A sudden and unexplained infection nearly killed me, and after complete organ failure, three months in a shock-trauma unit, more than twenty surgeries, and the amputation of my left leg, I was sent home, a shadow of my former self. I didn’t know how to function in the world. I was depleted in every way a person could be depleted, and crippled with PTSD.  And…as if all that weren’t enough…doctors feared the high fever and loss of blood pressure in those first few days had left me with permanent brain damage.

So there I was – roadkill – under contract with St. Martin’s Press to finish a romantic comedy and a women’s fiction novel. Seeing as how I referred to my cell phone as the dishwasher and couldn’t figure out how to turn on my laptop, I soon realized I was well and truly f**cked.  I had to start from scratch. In my first few weeks home from the hospital I would challenge myself by putting pen to paper and drawing out some of the letters I remembered. Then I’d string letters together to make words. Eventually, I learned to type one word at a time on my laptop. Later, I could type a whole sentence. In time, I could type a paragraph or two.  I was driven by a fierce need to know if I was still a writer, if the blob of tapioca pudding now residing between my ears was the result of opiates, or permanent damage.  Against doctors’ orders, I weaned myself off all narcotic painkillers, and slowly, so very slowly, I began to come back to life.

I’ve learned many things about myself in the years since. I’ve learned how strong I am. How resilient. And I’ve learned that writing is my primary coping mechanism--it’s how I move through this life. Writing is my way of processing information, how I can put a name to my feelings.  Writing was the primary tool I used to unravel the tangled mess of grief, sorrow, and rage that my beautiful life had become. I didn’t go back to my contracted books right away, however. Instead, I wrote a blog about my ordeal, which helped me to heal and allowed me to see myself as a writer again. After that, I wrote a series of satirical dinosaur porn e-novellas, an exercise that proved my sense of humor had not been amputated along with my leg.

Before that first post-illness year ended, I’d written a proposal for a new romance/women’s fiction trilogy and went on to complete the novels and novellas. Only then did I pick up the romance and women’s fiction projects I’d been writing when the bus flattened me. It was difficult to read those stories. I wasn’t the same person who’d started writing them, and much ripping-up and starting-over ensued. St. Martin’s got those books four and five years late, respectively, but I fulfilled my contracts.

Charging ahead worked for me. It might not work for someone else. There are as many ways to deal with crisis as there are individual authors and types of crises, and each approach is legitimate. But, in general, I believe we have a few basic choices:

• We can use writing to fully grasp what happened and how it affected us, and with a lot of help and effort, we can move beyond it.
• We can delay getting back to our writing to focus on our urgent needs or the needs of loved ones.
• We can decide to step away from writing for the foreseeable future, if that’s an option financially, to eliminate that stressor from our lives.
• Or, we can begin writing again as soon as we are able –maybe even try something new – and tell a story that will remind us of who we are and what we’re made of.

Like dinosaur porn! Perhaps that was just me.

Have you had to recover from a life disaster (big or small)? Did writing help? Have any tips for us?

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ABOUT SUSAN:

Publishers Weekly calls SUSAN DONOVAN's novels "the perfect blend of romance and women's fiction." A New York Times bestselling author and former journalist, she’s been nominated for two RITA Awards and received the 2003 Best Contemporary Romance award from RT Booklovers Magazine. Publishers Weekly calls her latest release, BREATHLESS, “a deeply satisfying, genre-crossing story sure to seduce fans of Regency and contemporary romance and women’s fiction.”  Susan is an author coach and developmental editor at the Adobe Cottage Writer’s Retreat in New Mexico. (And, yes, she writes satirical dino porn e-novellas under the pen name Pebbles Rocksoff.)

Visit Susan at:
facebook.com/susandonovanfanpage
www.susandonovan.com           www.adobecottageretreat.com