Writers in the Storm

Tracy Brody 

Hello again, friends. Back in June, I did my first guest blog here on An Addict’s Take on Writing Contests. As promised, I’m going to give you some tips on how to pick the best contest for you depending on where you are in your writing career.

Are you a newbie author? Filled with passion for your story and ready to have Oprah or Ellen on her show to tell the world about the best book ever? Yeah, I was that starry eyed, optimistic newbie who never heard back from Oprah. That’s a good thing because I didn’t know how much I didn’t know about writing at that time. If you are a newbie, I suggest you look for a couple of things when picking contests to enter.

• Number of judges: Get more bang for your buck by getting feedback from more judges. Most contests have at least two first-round judges, but many have three and some even have four. You can typically find that information on the contest rules page.
• Contest Scoresheet: Many contests provide a link to the scoresheet. Check it out. Does it address the things you want to know? The details are a lot more helpful than a contest that only gives you judges’ comments or an overall score but no comments or specifics. Scores and feedback are SUBJECTIVE (and not always right), but look for comments that are repeated as they likely will help target areas to improve. Remember though, the judges are not editors, and you aren’t paying them to be. Most are not going to mark every comma error or even point out every flaw they see.

If you’re an intermediate to advanced writer, you may be at the stage where you’ve improved your craft and want more than just feedback from a contest. Trust me, no matter how fabulous a writer you are, You. Will. Still. Get. Feedback – telling you where you can improve. ?Instead of big picture things like passive versus active, showing rather than telling, pacing, GMC and POV comments, you may learn about gerunds and prefacing and not using both dialog and action tags.

• Length: How much can you enter? Check the rules page. Is it by word count or page count? The more you can submit, the bigger picture the judge can get.
• Synopsis: Does the contest require a synopsis? Is it judged? It does require more work, and they can be sooo hard to write, but the feedback can help you learn to write a strong synopsis. It can also be a fantastic opportunity to get feedback on the overall story if you are still drafting it.
• Credentials: Contest finals can help catch an agent or editor’s attention because it shows readers liked your work. However, some contests have better reputations to impress them, for instance the Golden Heart®. A few contest finals or wins, does not mean you’re definitely ready for querying, though the affirmation of being a finalist is a wonderful boost to a writer’s psyche anytime! To up your chances of finaling, you want to look at different things.

1. Categories: Does the contest have categories? Including yours? That allows for more finalists than a contest with a limited number of top finalists.
2. Themed Contests: These usually are for smaller segments, but it may play to your strengths if you have a great hook opener or write snappy banter or a great first kiss.
3. First round judging methodology: If you want to make the finals, I recommend looking for contests which drop the lowest score.Why? Because contest judging is SUBJECTIVE and you have no control over who your judges are. They might not typically read your genre or be your intended audience. Even if they are, you can’t please everyone. So, dropping the outlier can improve your chances of moving to the next round.

If you are an accomplished writer racking up the credentials and consistently making the finals and winning in some contests, your goal may be to

• Win Prizes: What do you get if you win in your category? Certificates and plaque are nice, but some contests offer cash prizes, free classes, critiques or even mentorship. Those can be invaluable in helping take your writing to the next level or forming relationships with a judge, agent, or editor.
• Skip the slush pile: Now is the time to be selective and get your work in front of editors and agents. Look at who those final round judges (FRJ) are – they should be listed somewhere on the contest information page. Contests have at least one FRJ. Many have two, and a few even send the category winner to another next stage with a panel. That’s more chances to get your work read by industry professionals! If you’re already agented, you may want focus on contests with editors as the final round judge.

Regardless of your stage of writing, I also recommend you look for clues on how well the contest is run.The coordinators are volunteers, but not all contests are the same. Is the information on the website current, consistent, and accurate? The FRJs listed? Do you get a response if you email the coordinator? Historically, do they have a good record of recruiting and training first round judges, as well as sending entries out and announcing finalists and winners in a timely manner? That information can be hard to find, usually only by experience or word of mouth. It’s better to avoid a poorly run contest where judges are frustrated because entries are sent late and they get more entries or less time to judge or you have to wait for the announcements.

Determine what you want or need out of a contest and do a little homework. A fantastic source in addition to the contests listed on the RWA Contest page, is Stephanie Smith’s current contest chart on her webpage. She’s done a lot of the work for you!

I want to add one etiquette tip for those who enter contests. *Warning, I may sound like your mother here.* Your first-round judges are usually anonymous – though a few will sign their names if the contest allows. However, almost all contests allow you to send the coordinators thank you notes that they will forward to your judges. As I mentioned in my last post, contest judges spend a few hours giving their time to read and give you feedback to help you. WRITE A THANK YOU NOTE. It only takes a few minutes to let them know you appreciate them, even if you are disappointed with what they say or not being a finalist. It might make them more willing to continue judging and helping others. You may even make a friend, get a cheerleader, or find a mentor.

As a five-time Golden Heart finalist, I’m hoping the incoming RWA board takes the input members have given to come up with a fantastic new contest that meets the needs of even more romance writers in today’s publishing market. There’s one more year to enter the contest that has given me a huge support system of fabulous new friends and I want to encourage you to enter. If you’re planning to enter the last Golden Heart contest and want a shot at getting some feedback, in the comment section, say “I’m Entering the Golden Heart! Pick me!” and you may win a 10-page critique from me. If you aren’t entering, but are a fan of the Golden Heart, I’d love to hear that and why too.

Best wishes with your writing!

ABOUT TRACY

 

Tracy Brody started her writing career with screenplays, then switched to novels. She’s written a military themed romantic suspense series focusing on the Army Bad Karma Special Ops team—who’s love lives are as dangerous as their missions. Her three completed manuscripts have all finaled in the Golden Heart and she won for Romantic Suspense in 2015 & 2016. She’s a member of RWA, Carolina Romance Writers, the Kiss of Death, and the Golden Network.

 She is represented by Helen Breitwieser of Cornerstone Literary.

 

 

Piper Bayard

It’s a simple fact. Any electronic item that transmits a signal can be intercepted and/or hacked. That means cybersecurity is an issue for each of us; therefore, unless we are writing historical fiction, cybersecurity is a potential issue for each of our characters.

Volumes can be written on cybersecurity issues, so rather than offer a comprehensive treatise on the subject, which would no doubt be obsolete before dinner time, today we’ll focus on common objects in the modern world that can be hacked to spice up our story lines.

The most obvious story lines involving cybersecurity are thrillers. So we’ll cut to the chase, so to speak, and look at the big picture first.

If our character is using electronics to find someone, that character’s capabilities will depend on their nationality and the power of their government or underworld contacts to assist them. Every ally from the NSA to Anonymous could be at their disposal. There are far too many variations to address in an article, or even a treatise, but suffice to say more than one government has the capability of scooping up every electronic transmission in a given area, and more than one hacker can access everything from a home router to the Pentagon. That means your character can discover as much or as little as your plot line needs.

To flip the coin and try to hide from government surveillance on the part of any country in the West, Russia, or China, a character’s best bet is to hide in plain site with a new identity. If that isn’t possible, they must go to an all-cash existence, never carry any electronics of any kind on their person, and avoid all cameras in businesses and on streets. Since this is pretty close to impossible in First World countries at this point, it’s also best if the character stays on the move in Third World countries. However, human intelligence will still be a threat, and they will most likely be found eventually.

But what about a smaller, more intimate picture? Most of us can look around our workspace and find items that can be hacked.

Computers and phones are the most obvious. My writing partner is a senior member of the Intelligence Community. He and I recommend that everyone put a sticky note over their computer camera, because entities from corporations to any number of governments to hackers can and will observe you without it being obvious to you. . . . I’ll pause a minute for you to cover that camera . . .

Thank you. I feel better talking to you now that strangers can’t see you in your pajamas. If you want to be particularly cautious, cover camera on your phone, as well.

Speaking of cameras . . . Nanny cams, doorbell cameras, security cameras of all kinds, and children’s toys are also regularly hacked by unscrupulous individuals and used by governments foreign and domestic to record information on private citizens.

I know what you’re thinking. . . . Why on earth would foreign governments want to digitally molest my nanny cam? I’m just not that interesting.

Not to promote paranoia, but you actually are that interesting. These are only a few reasons foreign governments want to spy on you:

• To spy on expatriates
• To monitor trends in society
• To improve training of deep-cover operatives
• To better design propaganda efforts in foreign countries
• To gather information on possible targets for covert action
• To identify blackmail targets
• To build files on important foreigners

Yes, foreign governments use Internet devices to collect information on regular citizens to tailor their enormous propaganda efforts, but that is an article for another day.

Most of us are aware that our computers are open books for governments—both domestic and foreign—as well as hackers. A hacker can get into a computer and do anything that the computer’s owner can do. They can destroy everything on the device, pilfer through everything on the device, or plant spyware that will record every keystroke. Computers are most vulnerable when connected to unsecured Internet networks, such as at coffee shops or in hotels, and hackers know this. . . . Great material for plot lines, right? . . . There are numerous companies that sell cybersecurity programs to help detect and protect from such attacks. Also, if a computer is turned off, it is safe from hacking.

Phones are also common targets of governments, local police departments, and hackers.

For example, everyone in the DC area can assume that all of their phone calls are being intercepted by the Russians and the Chinese. That’s true of several large cities in the US and Europe. In addition to stationary devices, foreign agents, DHS, and local police departments literally drive around the city with “cell site simulators,” or “Stingrays” in their vehicles that simulate cell phone towers and intercept phone signals.

There are two easy ways a character can protect the information on their phone. First, they can put their phone in a faraday bag, which is a bag made of a shielding material that blocks transmissions. Another way is cheaper and faster than shopping—tin foil. Yes. There is something to the tin foil hat, or in this case, tin foil envelope.

To protect a phone, a character needs three layers of tin foil. The first layer is smooth. They must be careful to wrap the phone thoroughly, leaving no open seams. The second layer is crumpled. They crunch up the tin foil, unfold it enough to make it useful, and wrap it around the phone. Again, the character needs to pay attention to seams. The third layer is another smooth layer over the crunched layer. Once the phone is wrapped, anything a hacker could get off of it would be so distorted that it would render the information useless. This tin foil trick works for computers and key fobs, as well.

Yes, key fobs. Vehicles with keyless ignition systems, such as pretty much all rental cars these days, can be hacked from outside a building.

This is called a “relay attack,” and it can be accomplished with cheap equipment found online or at an electronics store. One character holds a key fob relay box close to the outside of a building. The box picks up the signal from an unprotected key fob inside and relays it to a second device that a second character holds near the car. This fools the car, and the vehicle can be unlocked and/or started. Great for car theft, planting surveillance devices, or hiding in a back seat or trunk.

Deliciously creepy, right? If written well, though, this hack could be used in a romance, and a lover could leave a gift on their beloved’s dashboard. Or perhaps a comedic situation could arise where a character stashed something in a rental car, and they need to get it back on the sly.

Another source for plots comes from voice-controlled speakers such as Alexa or a Smart TV.

Yes. Numerous governments and corporations really are collecting everything said within range of these devices. Hackers can do the same. Everything said within range of these devices is collected and transmitted to servers to be analyzed for “search words.” Sorry. This article is too short to discuss what can happen to all of the conversations collected that do not include “search words.”

However, such devices sometimes make mistakes. Voice-controlled speakers have been known to transmit conversations to random individuals on a contact list. For example, a couple can be having a conversation in range of their Alexa or Alexa-equivalent, and it can accidentally be transmitted to some random individual on their contact list. Cross my heart and hope to die, this has actually happened in real life. The possibilities in fiction are endless!

Another type of personal digital violation is also becoming more common all the time. I’ll be as delicate as possible when describing this . . .

It’s called “screwdriving.” When couples fall in love and become intimate, or they just want a hook up or whatever, sometimes they like to involve certain electronic implements . . . Oh, never mind. Sex toys. I’m talking about sex toys.

Sex toys often now connect to the Internet. The Internet connection allows couples to express their passions, even when they are at a distance, whether across town or across the planet. Screwdriving is when hackers drive around and seek out these devices in the buildings around them. Hackers then hack the devices in the hopes of delivering a tingly surprise—a digital threesome of sorts. The romantic and comedic possibilities are endless!

These are only a few of the devices that can be hacked in real life and in fiction. Others are pacemakers, cars, fitbits, and any other electronic device that connects to the Internet or emits an electronic signal. Apply imagination, and any of these can be a source of comedy, romance, crime, or thrills.

Have you used hacking in one of your plots? What genre was it?

Piper Bayard and Jay Holmes of Bayard & Holmes are the authors of espionage tomes and international spy thrillers. Their latest release, SPYCRAFT: Essentials, is designed for writers. It addresses the functions and jurisdictions of the main US intelligence organizations, the spook personality and character, tradecraft techniques, surveillance, the most common foibles of spy fiction, and much more. It is available in digital format and print at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Kobo.

Please visit Piper and Holmes at their site, BayardandHolmes.com. For notices of their upcoming releases, subscribe to the Bayard & Holmes Covert Briefing. You can also contact Bayard & Holmes at their Contact page, on Twitter at @piperbayard, on Facebook at Piper Bayard or Bayard & Holmes, or at their email, BH@BayardandHolmes.com.

 

 

Just a note first. I'm ready for more first page submissions!  If you've sent one in and I haven't used yours, there could be three reasons. 1. it's too good - people learn from mistakes!  2. It's not perfect, but there's not enough there to spend a whole blog addressing. 3. I've already addressed the problems in another blog, i.e. scene setting, POV, etc.  If you want personalized feedback, though, check out the end of the blog - I'm teaching a class on the first Five Pages! 

Thank you, brave soul, for trusting me with your work. I hope you find this helpful.

I chose this month's submission as a lesson in the finer points of POV. This is in third person, but we never really understand who the POV character is, and the scene reads more like we're watching a movie rather than experiencing it from inside of a person (well that sounded a little eeeewy). Pretty easy fix, and I love the humor in this piece!

Here we go:

My edits:

Black = original

Red = my thoughts/comments

Purple = text I added/altered

ORIGINAL:

“Just look at her,” Brenna said, nodding her head toward the librarian’s desk. “She considers her rack an investment, you know.” Start of the story - keep in mind, the reader doesn't know where they are, or who your character is. City library? Is this a teenager? And it's not really clear if Brenna is the POV character. Readers expect that the first person they meet to be the POV Character.

Does this give us more idea where we are?  

"Just look at her," I/she nodded to the Davis High librarian's desk. “She considers her rack an investment, you know.” 

“I wonder if they get any returns,” Hadley responded. We don't know who Hadley is, so we don't know what to make of her comment. Is she a teacher? A student? The principal?  See how hearing that comment from each of those people changes it? Also, since you made this a dialog line, we know she responded. You're missing an opportunity to tell us more - about setting, and who she is.

"I wonder if she gets any returns?" Hadley, my best friend and fellow teacher crossed her arms and tipped her head to study the issue from another angle. 

The implantee in question was Anise Blaine, a fellow English teacher who looked more like a mall-rat than an educator.

Hadley looked up at Anise, her yellow hair in stark contrast to the room’s dull interior. A few boys cocked their heads at desk-level as she bent over to retrieve a pen she had dropped.

Here's where it gets confusing.  Is it Anise's hair that is yellow? Grammatically, that is correct, but it's a bit unclear. We as readers are dying to know more about the setting, about these people. Hair color doesn't help us do that. I'd choose something more helpful. In the 'A few boys' sentence -- we read linearly; one word at a time. So it's confusing and a tiny irritation to a reader to read a reaction first, then the reason for it. It's not huge, but one of those things that, given enough little breaks like that - a reader will put down a book, not thinking it's bad, just that it's not engaging (learned this gem from the incredible Margie Lawson). Let me try to clear it up:

Anise's pen hit the floor, and though she tugged the too-short hem of her skirt before bending to retrieve it, the male heads in the room followed her down.

Hadley scanned the room and sighed. This was supposed to be a class full of college-bound students, she thought, but they still fell into the old ranks: the ones with the good-looking genes at one table, the geeks at another, and the outcasts on benches or in line for the restroom pass to smoke.

The reader assumes the first person they're introduced to is the POV character. That would be Brenna. But here, we see a thought of Hadley - which means she's the POV character. Or you're head-hopping.  It's disconcerting to learn this paragraphs into a story. You want the reader to settle in, right away, and trust the author.

Given the line above, I expected a thought about men in general. But instead, it goes to high school social strata. If she's a teacher, she understands this - so why the sigh? Does she wish it was different? That would be an opportunity for us to learn more about her, but you don't go there. 

Also, if there's no quotation marks, we know it's a thought; you're showing, and telling too. (hint: showing is almost always better).

“How many of them would guess we’re talking about Anise’s boobs and not English Lit?”

They're not talking where any students could overhear, right? That would be inappropriate! But we don't know, because there's very little scene setting.

Brenna stuck a No. 2 pencil in her jerrybuilt French twist. “Don’t flatter yourself. They don’t give a damn what we talk about.” She had been reading coeds as long as she’d been reading their essays.

I'd just move the last sentence before the dialogue line, so we have context for it. I think it's smoother. Love the 'jerrybuilt French twist' short succinct description that gives us a perfect picture.

Brenna stuck a No. 2 pencil in her jerrybuilt French twist. She had been reading coeds as long as she’d been reading their essays. “Don’t flatter yourself. They don’t give a damn what we talk about.”<

Don't take the volume of my comments to mean that I don't like it. This is a good scene, and I like your voice - but it could be great, with some scene-setting and POV clarification.

Do you have problems with POV? Scene setting? Any suggestions for us?

Laura is teaching a two-week class at Lawson's Writer Academy Entitled: Your First Five Pages - Reader Glue! It's like a college course, only using YOUR work!  You can get details HERE.

Laura's next release, The Last True Cowboy, is available for preorder (you know preorders really help authors, right?) Just click on the meme to be taken to retailers.

Carly Beauchamp has loved cowboy Austin Davis since first grade. Ask anyone in their dusty, backwater New Mexico town of Unforgiven, and they’ll say, “Carly and Austin” the way some say, “big trucks and country boys.” But after years of waiting for a wedding ring, Carly’s done with being a rodeo widow. She dumps Austin (again), but after a month she’s a pressure cooker, ready to blow. She heads to Albuquerque, where she’s not half of the C&A franchise. No heartbroken, “poor Carly.” Just an anonymous chick in a generic country bar. There she meets a man with ice blue eyes in biker leathers. They have nothing in common—except heartbreak. They pour out their pain while pouring the booze.

Horror hits when Carly wakes alone, but vaguely remembers she didn’t go to sleep that way. She calls around, to find that her mystery man never existed. He lied. About his name, his job . . . everything. She takes a morning after pill and goes home, determined to put this huge mistake in the rear view mirror. And she manages—more or less—until the doctor confirms her pregnancy.

Austin never meant to put his career on the circuit before Carly. She’s always been his future, his one and only. But now that she’s moved on, he’s beginning to see where he went wrong, and he’ll do anything to win her back. The only thing is, Carly’s suddenly acting differently, and she’s definitely hiding a secret—one that will test the depth of their love and open up a whole new world of possibilities.