Writers in the Storm

I'm ready for more first page submissions! Just copy and paste your first page into the body of an email, and send it to: LauraDrake@LauraDrakeBooks.com

I can't promise to use yours - I'm choosing them mostly for what lessons they can teach. But please, submit!

I thought it would be fun this month to show you the submission of an excellent writer. One who frankly makes me feel like a hack. Why? Because there's a great lesson in seeing what someone did right, too, right?

Black = original

Red = my thoughts/comments

Purple = text I added/altered

For the lucky living, the night was ripe. It was the year of the Tiger—Nixon was running scared, Ted Bundy was just getting started, and the tallest buildings in the world had opened down on Wall Street.

Everyone who was underage in Connecticut was welcome in New York. All the doors of the Stateline bar were open wide to the night and the place was packed. The smoke-laden air inside pulsed out into the heat and humidity of the fecund darkness and flowed back inside, carrying a heavy tinge of marijuana. There was a furtive commotion in a dark corner of the parking lot. Fighting or fucking, it didn’t matter. April was in a hot hurry to be July.

Wow. Talk about scene-setting! Do you see how the author gave us more than a simple where/when? They gave us the feeling of the time and place. And it's a shared emotional experience. You may have never been to New York, but you know this feeling - you've felt this feeling; being young, and in a hot spot.

What elevates it even more is the word choices. 'Fecund darkness, lucky living, April was in a hot hurry) Do you see how the emotional words draw you in and bind you to the page?

The amplified sounds of a rock band complete with horns hushed all the night creatures around the ramshackle country bar for a hundred yards in every direction. The music held sway over all, from those in worn, holey denim to the spandex and polyester crowd up from the city. The band—consummate crowd-pleasers—smoothly moved from rock to disco, to funk and blues with occasional stops at country and doo-wop along the way and no one could resist the urge to move to the beat.

Notice the use of all the senses - smell, and sight in the first paragraph, sound and sight in this one. See how it puts you there?

Tonight, the revelers would include a woman with no heart and a man with no soul.

BOOM. The author changes the cadence here, for a huge impact. Up til now, the words are flowing, rich, and flavored. This sentence is stark and brutal. See how switching is like a laser? It tells the reader, 'this is important.' And it doesn't hurt that it's a beautiful line.

It's also a dividing line - a shift from a wide-angle, impersonal viewpoint, narrowing to a protagonist and antagonist.

Anna perched on a stool at the bar, working diligently at drinking herself into a state of safety from the rioting mental scatter of the other patrons. While Fishing for money in the depths of her purse, she found a dusty, travel-worn pill. Small, greenish, the embossed markings illegible, she shrugged and washed it down with the last swallow of her third tequila sunrise. Que sera, sera.

Details matter! It wasn't just a stray pill in her purse...it was a dusty, travel-worn pill. We've all seen those, but I've never seen one described that way. Margie Lawson calls that fresh writing - well done!

A syrupy warmth flooded through her body, as the noise and jagged energy of the crowd receded. and she sat up She straightened, taking a long, deep breath that lifted her even taller in her seat, her guarded cynicism spinning away like a bad dream. Thirsty with the sudden heat, she scanned the top shelf liquor.

Again, great word choices: jagged energy, guarded cynicism spinning away...

Wary of the change in her demeanor, the bartender said, “Honey, if you’re gonna to be sick, take it outside.”

A tiny POV violation here - we're in her POV - she could notice him being aware of her change in demeanor, but she couldn't know he was wary of it.

Anna smiled in slow motion, licked her lips, and focused on him with devilish intensity.

IMO, first overstep. 'devilish' is a tiny bit too far. But that's me. Less is more. Let the reader wonder who/what she is. 

 

What do you think? Have you learned as much from a great example as you did from one that needed work? Am I the only one feeling like a hack after reading that?

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Laura's next book is available for preorder! (you know how much preorders help authors, right?) Just click on the photo to be taken to retailers.

This cowboy's got one last chance to prove himself

Carly Beauchamp has loved cowboy Austin Davis since first grade. Ask anyone in their dusty, backwater New Mexico town of Unforgiven, and they'll say “Carly and Austin” the way some say “big trucks and country boys.” But after years of waiting for a wedding ring, Carly’s done with being a rodeo widow . . . 

Austin never meant to put his career on the circuit before Carly. She’s always been his future, his one and only. But now that she’s moved on, he’s beginning to see where he went wrong, and he’ll do anything to win her back. The only thing is, Carly’s suddenly acting differently, and she’s definitely hiding a secret—one that will test the depth of their love and open up a whole new world of possibilities.

Forever-Romance.com Cover © 2018 Hachette Book Group, Inc.

 

 

Last month, I shared J.K. Rowlings top tips on writing and success, and it was a tough choice between her and Stephen King. Those two write such wonderful books because they understand love and fear. Have you read Stephen King's On Writing? Seen The Shawshank Redemption (my favorite movie ever)  or The Green Mile? King is a writer who sees the visceral underbelly of courage and the tenacity of the human spirit.

Here is his "Top Ten" list for writers:

1. Love what you do.

Really, y'all. Why would you do this writing thing if you didn't love it? Most people don't line up for the chance to rip their hearts out and show it to friends and strangers. But we do. We not only rip our hearts onto the page, we fight to make that painful process sound like something others may actually want to read. Why would any sane person do this kind of work unless they loved it?

King's take: "For me, not working is the real work. When I’m writing, it’s all the playground…"

2. Be yourself.

Many years ago I heard literary agent, Natasha Kern, speak about writing. She said, "Every time you put words on the page, you are shouting out, 'this is who I am.'" Terrifying thought, isn't it? It's enough to put you off writing if you let it.

Be who you are and write your truth and your voice will come through. Jill Marie Landis described "voice" to me like this: "Imagine you are sitting in a coffee shop, telling your best pal a story. Your story, your hand gestures, your expressions - they all have rhythms that are uniquely you. That's voice." Your voice will permeate everything you write. 

3. Explore new ideas.

Don't worry that it's all be done before. Your story hasn't been done before because only YOU can tell it. It's that voice thing again. The imaginative one-of-a-kind lens you see the world through filters your words into your own one-of-a-kind story. Even if you're exploring what King calls "the three stories shared by all horror writers," your take on it will be different from anyone else's.

4. The good idea stays with you.

Are you one of those writers who always wants to chase the shiny new idea "before it flies away?" One of the most amazing things about creativity is that the stories you are meant to write stick around. They kick at your brain and your heart until you let them out into the world.

This is why we are writers...we're the designated vaults that hold the stories. We are the ones who care enough to put those stories into words for others.

Note: I'm not talking about those times when you are wading through the pit of despair in your current WIP, wondering when you will get back to "the good stuff." Everyone goes through that phase, when the shiny new idea seems like a cup of cool water in the middle of a sweltering desert.

5. Love the process.

This bit of advice cracks me up. I don't know any writers who love the whole process. Maybe they love the beginning and end, but they detest the middle. Maybe they love to plot, but hate to finish. Or they love to write but would rather go to the dentist than revise. 

Whether or not I "love the process" pretty much depends on which day you ask me about it. But I always love the words. I always love the process of finding the best words, of teasing out the theme to a story and discovering what I really want to say.

It's okay if you don't love the entire process, as long as you love some piece of it so much that it becomes the carrot that draws you through the crappy parts. If you can't find that carrot for yourself, talk to a writing friend and have them help you find it. It's there, I promise you.

6. Learn from rejections.

Rejection is something all writers must deal with. Our own Laura Drake went through 417 rejections before she sold. Four. Hundred. Seventeen. That takes stamina and some pretty thick skin. I love her post, Don't Give Away Your Power, where she discusses how to manage rejection.

7. Look for ideas you enjoy.

King says he never wrote a book where he wanted to say goodbye to the characters. You will be spending quite a bit of time with these people and if you aren't having a ball, it's unlikely the reader will either. Your goal is to create worlds and characters that nobody wants to leave, including you.

8. Find your creative process.

The biggest step, at least for me, is putting the booty into the writing chair. Not the social media/blogging/day job chair, the story chair. Stephen King likens the first ten minutes of writing time to "smelling a dead fish or walking through a monkey house." If you stick with it, he insists that "something will click and lead to something else that sucks you down into the story."

So, my take on his advice: Butt in the story chair. Stick with it for at least 15 minutes.

A bit of advice from Laura Drake: She has a saying: Nobody gets it all. Stop being greedy, thinking you need that elusive more to be a writer. You were given everything you need to tell your stories. Dig deep and find a process that helps you get the story out. 

9. Pass something on.

Frankly, this is the essence of WITS to all of us here behind the scenes. We pass on knowledge because we think it's important. Whether it's knowledge, time, or simply a post, it's important to share your abundance with others. Teach a class. Volunteer. Sponsor NaNoWriMo. Or, like Harley Christensen and Elizabeth Craig, curate knowledge for other writers and share the best damn tweets in the Twitterverse.

King makes an excellent point: it's not like you can take it with you when you go.

10. Tell great stories.

Read a lot, write a lot and learn. Those are the activities you must engage in if you want to tell great stories. Stephen King writes to entertain himself, but he also never forgets the reader. His take on opening lines: "An opening line should invite the reader to begin the story. It should say: Listen. Come in here. You want to know about this.”

 

https://youtu.be/f_Bh-yNpUpI

 

Sources:

• Being Successful: 17 Proven Lessons from Stephen King - Life Optimizer
• King's Top 20 Rules for Writers - Open Culture
• 10 Things I Learned About Writing from Stephen King - The Guardian
• 5 Non-TED Talks From Five Amazing Writers - TurnDog

 

Stephen King struggled with depression, poverty, addiction and self-doubt, but he kept writing. What is your biggest challenge when it comes to getting words on the page? Which of these ten bits of wisdom do you struggle with the most?

We are happy to announce the winner of Laurie Schnebly's online class. Congratulations, Cate Francis! Please contact Laurie at Laurie Schnebly@gmail.com. 

About Jenny Hansen

By day, Jenny provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. By night she writes humor, memoir, women’s fiction and short stories. After 18+ years as a corporate software trainer, she’s delighted to sit down while she works.

When she’s not at her personal blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook, or here at Writers In The Storm.

Kathryn Craft

 

A developmental edit can feel a lot like sending your child to school for the first time. You’ve had several years to exert your influence on his upbringing and must now allow others into his journey. You may be ready to push the little bugger through the school door! Or you may be standing outside, your arms wrapped tightly around this child of your heart, wanting to run home for a few more years of one-on-one.

You may worry: What if my child performs poorly? What if my parenting inadequacies are discovered—or worse, what if the teacher doesn’t think I’m any good at parenting?

These relatable concerns can be countered with more exciting questions: What if he matures while we’re parted? What if his performance issues result in new parenting tools? What if new aspects of his personality are stimulated? What if it really does take a village to raise a child?

A story you submit for publication will be seen, much like the child going to school, as a freestanding work—and as such may be lauded, bullied, quoted, misinterpreted, picked apart, and psychoanalyzed by a public who will bring to it their own sensibilities, prejudices, insights, ideas, and experiences. You will no longer be able to come to your story’s defense. Whether or not you can handle that will be foreshadowed by how you handle a developmental edit.

Are you ready?

Signs of readiness for a developmental edit

1. You are asking the right question.

You don’t send your child to school expecting a grade on your parenting, do you? No—you want the teacher to appreciate your child for his special qualities and help him acquire the skills necessary to maximize his potential in the world. Instead of, Am I any good? ask, How can I maximize my story’s potential?

2. You are ready to let the manuscript speak for itself.

Your story will be entering a conversation, and it has one chance to speak: through the words you’ve put on the page. Rest assured that you have submitted your best possible work and sit quietly while the editor reflects upon what she heard. If it seems she didn’t “get it,” use her guidance to identify the disconnect between what you intended and what she heard.

3. You are willing to allow—and then dismiss—your emotional reaction.

If hiring an editor, you must have thought your manuscript could be improved, or at the very least, you realized you were no longer the best judge of this. Still, it can sting when you hear you aren’t as far along on the novel’s journey as you thought. Allow this disappointment to remind you of how much you want to reach readers. Let it wash through and revivify you—then roll up your sleeves to make it happen.

4. 4.  You trust that the editor has your best interests at heart.

Both writer and editor want to play on a winning team. Trust that by capitalizing on your story’s strengths and bolstering your weaknesses, your editor is trying to help you bring your project to its fullest fruition.

5. You are open to receiving frank reader feedback.

Try to open yourself to your reader’s perspective—she may provide you with feedback that is not at all what you expected. If she doesn’t seem to “get” it, you may have led her astray through unintentionally accumulating detail. Allow that even misinterpretation is useful feedback.

6. You own the decisions you’ve already made but are ready to revisit them.

Someday, this conversation about your work may happen in a reader’s living room with her book club, and those readers might not agree with every choice you made. You need the quiet, non-combative confidence that comes from having a reason for what you’ve done—and allowing for difference of opinion anyway. At this point, you need to see it from the editor’s perspective, too, and make your best decision as to how to move forward.

7. You are in this for the long haul and want to build your skill set.

Like schooling, publishing success demands diligence applied over the long haul. You may need another round of edits, since once you’ve made changes, you may have unwittingly introduced new issues. This is the nature of education.

8. You are clear about your goal.

Publication is not your end goal—it is simply a means to an end. The goal is to connect with readers—whether that be an agent, an acquisition editor, or a bookstore browser—in a way that results in repeat sales. That's how any entrepreneur stays in business.

Even with this emotional intelligence profile, it still may not feel good to read your developmental editor’s evaluation. But you’ll be better able to negotiate the collaboration, and the work it inspires will enhance your story’s meaning. You’ll feel that rush that always comes when your writing grows in both confidence and nuance. Your love for your characters will grow as their characterization deepens.

In my experience, it is those who treasure these benefits from a developmental edit who have what it takes to go the distance throughout the publishing process.

 

Have you hired an independent developmental editor? Did any aspect of the process hijack you, emotionally? Do you have anything to add to this checklist?

About Kathryn:

Kathryn Craft  is the award-winning author of two novels from Sourcebooks, The Art of Falling and The Far End of Happy, and a developmental editor at Writing-Partner.com, specializing in storytelling structure and writing craft. Her chapter “A Drop of Imitation: Learn from the Masters” was included in the writing guide Author in Progress, from Writers Digest Books. Janice Gable Bashman’s interview with her, “How Structure Supports Meaning,” originally published in the 2017 Novel & Short Story Writer’s Market, has been reprinted in The Complete Handbook of Novel Writing, both from Writer’s Digest Books.