Writers in the Storm

Greer Macallister

A few years ago, if you’d asked me about the building blocks of great novels, I would have yammered on endlessly about sentences. They can’t be too long or too short or all the same; they can’t be so complex or descriptive that they get in the way of the story; they are demanding little creatures, able to reel readers in or drive them off, and you need to crack their code for each book all over again.

All that is still true. But I’ve come to believe that sentence management isn’t the only key ingredient to making your writing irresistible to readers – chapter management is just as important.

I confess that I have no natural talent for managing my chapters. While I’m in first draft mode, I tend to just write scene after scene in whatever order they come to me – not necessarily in the order they happen – and the shaping takes place afterward.

Chapters don’t have to be any particular length, though the general advice is to keep the length more or less consistent throughout the book, rather than following a three-page chapter with a twenty-page one, or vice versa.

These are the guidelines I use to shape my chapters to hook readers and keep them hooked:

1. A killer start.

Much like the advice to start your book with action, the idea of starting your chapter with a great first line is solid. While I was working on my most recent novel, GIRL IN DISGUISE, my editor pointed out that my chapter-opening lines weren’t always knockouts, and when I looked back through the draft, I quickly figured out why. GIRL IN DISGUISE covers many years in the life of Kate Warne, the first female detective in Americ, and I was using the beginning line of each chapter to mark how much time had passed since the last chapter. In theory, this helps keep the reader anchored – but, to muddy up the metaphor, an anchor is a double-edged sword. An early chapter of GIRL IN DISGUISE used to start like this:

A year into my employment, I was a new woman. I paid off my debt to Mrs. Borowski and left her boardinghouse for a smaller, finer one in the Garden District. 

In the finished book, the chapter begins this way instead:

I had been a Pinkerton operative for more than a year before someone tried in earnest to kill me.

That’s just a wee bit more exciting, isn’t it?

2. Rise and fall.

If you have a 20-page chapter followed by a 20-page chapter, but one is all action and one is all description, that’s a red flag for your pacing. Each chapter needs to balance action and description.

It doesn’t necessarily matter if you’re covering one scene or multiple scenes, but it matters how those scenes feel. The fix might involve moving a chunk of reflection. Often, at least in my case, it involves deleting that text completely.

Compressing the existing text into chapters is a key part of my editing process and an excellent way to put each scene under the microscope – are things moving too fast? Not fast enough? Are there key characters whose whereabouts are unclear because too much time is spent with other characters instead? Problems with the chapter are problems with the book, and one way or another, you’ll need to solve them.

3. A thought-provoking end.

Yes, you might have heard the advice to put a “hook” at the end to convince the reader to turn the page, and yes, that works sometimes. But ending every single chapter with some variant of “Little she did know what would happen next!!!!” eventually fatigues the reader.

Sometimes the right chapter-ender has a sense of closure to it, which would seem to fly in the face of the “hook” advice, but readers need mini-closure too, along the way. Whether the reader is thinking about what’s to come or what just happened, you want them thinking.

Some examples from GIRL IN DISGUISE:

“Your first case, then, Mrs. Warne,” he said, sliding an envelope across the desk.

But I could keep secrets, even one as potentially incendiary as this one. And so I would keep it, for a while. 

And so I watched his face turn hard, crushing my heart with every passing moment, and finally, I just stopped watching.

 I had planned on a month of this type of education. My plan was derailed.

Pinkerton told me I was needed elsewhere, and what could I ever say to him but yes?

So now that I’ve shared my chapter-shaping secrets, what are yours? What goes into your decision-making process as you shape of your chapters – or does it just come naturally?

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About Greer:

Raised in the Midwest, Greer Macallister is a poet, short story writer, playwright and novelist who earned her MFA in Creative Writing from American University. Her debut novel THE MAGICIAN'S LIE was a USA Today bestseller, an Indie Next pick, and a Target Book Club selection. It has been optioned for film by Jessica Chastain's Freckle Films. Her new novel GIRL IN DISGUISE, about real-life 19^th-century detective/bad-ass Kate Warne, was an Indie Next pick for April 2017 and received a starred review from Publishers Weekly, which called it “a well-told, superb story.”

I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. I love seeing what friends are up to. I love connecting with people I don’t otherwise get a chance to “see” on a regular basis. And I love interacting with other authors and readers and like-minded folks (you know, animal lovers, wine drinkers, coffee addicts).

What I love less is the emotional energy suck. The last few months have been harder to play on social media than usual. Between personal things and political things (we’ll leave it at that), I’ve found myself spending less and less time on Facebook. And, at time, flat out dreading checking my feed.

I know a few people who deleted their accounts. Others who took breaks from Facebook for a healthy chunk of time. But I had a book coming out in May which meant I actually needed to be spending more time – or maybe I should say smarter time – on Facebook. And I did. It wasn’t always fun, it wasn’t always easy, but the job required it.

I thought I’d pass on a few of the lessons I learned during that time …

1) Filter. Just because you’re friends with someone or in a group, doesn’t mean you have to engage. At the beginning of the year, I flat out avoided posts from certain friends. Not because I didn’t want to be friends with them anymore or even because I didn’t agree, but because their passion on certain topics was draining what little emotional energy I had at the time. There were also a few people who were overly exuberant about their own success at a time when I was struggling to keep my head above water, and while I was happy for them, the over-gushing started to zap my enthusiasm.

On the flip side, there are people who can almost always make me smile and groups that offer interesting discussions. One Facebook group in particular has become my happy place. The people in BLOOM are supportive and enthusiastic and it’s like taking a coffee break with friends.

I learned to filter my Facebook feed. It was the only way I could manage both my limited time and limited energy.

2) Censor. You’ve heard this before but it bears saying again … not everything needs to be said, or in this case written. As an author, you probably have an equal number of Facebook friends you’ve never actually met as those who know you personally. Before you unleash a rant, think about who will see it and what the ramifications could be from hitting “post.” You may still decide to send it out to the world and that may be exactly what’s needed. But don’t forget to first a deep breath, then post with a clearer head.

There’s a flip side here, too. I’m one of those people who clam up when I’m stressed or upset. I learned that Facebook can actually be a good place to release some of that stress. I’ll post something that makes me happy and, as corny as this sounds, the interaction that usually results from those posts helps.

3) Discern. You’ve heard the old cliché: Sometimes the grass is greener on the other side because it’s fake. That applies to Facebook posts as well. Remember the censor comment about putting a positive spin on things? Here’s the thing, most people will post their happiest moments, their biggest accomplishments on Facebook. They will rarely, if ever, post the disappointments or failures (except maybe in select private groups but those are … wait for it … private).

Whatever stage of writing you’re at, take in the Facebook posts with a discerning eye. Don’t compare yourself to the gushing success posts from others.

Before anyone jumps up and down on my keyboard, I am NOT saying those success posts aren’t legit and we shouldn’t be celebrating. I squee with everyone else when an author friend has fabulous news to share.

But I’m human and there have been times, especially at my most vulnerable like, ahem, release day, when I had twinges of comparing myself to others. Those were the times I had to remind myself that many of those posts represent the shiniest moments only and even those authors had their doubts and gripes at one point or another.

4) Unplug. Are you done shuddering in horror that I would suggest this? Can I continue?

I removed the Facebook app from my phone for a few weeks. The first day was twitchy but here’s the shocking part … after I got over the initial panic, I realized that the world kept turning if I didn’t respond to a tag immediately and it really didn’t matter if I liked or commented on a post a few hours after it was posted instead of the moment it went up.

Unless I’m on deadline or have pressing messages to deal with, I’m not on my computer much in the evenings or weekends. That’s family time. And even though I’ve reinstalled the Facebook app on my phone, I find that I’m on it much less frequently than I used to be. The result has been that I now look forward to my morning check-ins again.

I’ll give you a bonus tip …

5) Enjoy. Do what makes you happy with Facebook. Find that in between of what you’re comfortable posting and how long you can spend on Facebook. Come to terms with the fact that some people can stress you out while others bring joy. It took me time to find that sweet spot, to adjust my expectations of Facebook as a tool, but once I did, I was able to turn most of the hate part of the relationship to at least like if not love.

As an author, you need Facebook. And it is your friend. Friendlier for some than others. But either way, it’s a great place to connect with other authors, readers, and friends.

So? What do you think about FB? Have any other tips for us?

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About Orly

Orly Konig is an escapee from the corporate world, where she spent roughly sixteen (cough) years working in the space industry. Now she spends her days chatting up imaginary friends, drinking entirely too much coffee, and negotiating writing space around two over-fed cats. She is a co-founder and past president of the Women’s Fiction Writers Association, and a member of the Tall Poppy Writers. She is rep’d by Marlene Stringer, Stringer Literary Agency LLC.

Orly’s debut, The Distance Home, released by Forge on May 2, 2017.

You can find her on on Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Goodreads, or on her website, www.orlykonig.com.

Piper Bayard 

One of the most commonly used tools in mystery, crime, and spy fiction is physical surveillance. However, it is an art that is not completely understood outside of law enforcement and espionage. As the partner of a 40+ year veteran field operative, I’d like to take you through a few of the basics.

The first step in physical surveillance is identifying a subject.

This often happens in conjunction with a crime or a tip, or the subject can be identified as the product of ongoing investigations. The NSA’s blanket electronic data mining of phone calls, social media, and financial transactions also turns up suspects. While the method identifying suspects can vary, one thing is constant – there must actually be a suspect for physical surveillance to occur. No organization, except possibly the Department of Homeland Security, has enough money and personnel to just hang out watching people and waiting for a crime to occur.

Once a subject is identified—we’ll call him Schmucky Putavich—the investigating body will monitor the subject’s activity through cell phone, email, credit card, banking transactions, and computers at work or at home.

If something is picked up from intercepted electronic transmissions that indicates a specific event will occur at a specific time, such as an exchange of cash or information, the law enforcement or espionage personnel—we’ll call them all “operatives” for the purpose of keeping it simple—will place Schmucky under physical surveillance for that specific event.

The next step is to make a surveillance plan, which can include personnel, vehicles, helicopters, etc.

Operatives need to know what assets they have, how many man hours they want to use, how many man hours are available, and, most importantly, their budget. Everything has to be funded. The higher priority Schmucky is, the more funding and resources the operatives will receive. The TV series The Wire does a great job exploring the conflict that can arise around this need for budget and resources.

Once a plan is in place, the team decides when and where to start the surveillance.

Keep in mind that the surveillance will most likely be in anticipation of a particular transaction. If Schmucky’s home address and work location are known, operatives can set up the surveillance ahead of time to follow him on a particular day, when they will try to observe and record whatever transaction it is they are expecting.

At the start of surveillance, the team will get a vehicle in place so that they’re ready to follow Schmucky.

For example, if they are following Schmucky to work, they will station a car at least two or three house lots away from the Schmucky’s home on the opposite side of the street. That’s because everywhere outside of Hollywood, Schmucky is going to notice total strangers staring at him from a vehicle at the end of his driveway, his neighbor’s driveway, or directly across the street.

The operative in the vehicle will avoid eye contact when Schmucky pulls out of his driveway and will wait until Schmucky goes at least 200 feet up the street before pulling out from the curb. If Schmucky is expected to head north, the operatives park south of his house. In Hollywood, operatives are often parked the wrong direction. In real life, operatives don’t let Schmucky drive past them because it’s too easy to be spotted.

If the team knows the route Schmucky will be taking, they will have multiple cars ready and waiting, and they will pass him off at turns. If Schmucky does not have a regular route, the team will have several cars behind him.

When Schmucky turns, the car at the front of the line will continue on through the intersection, and the car that is second in line will move up to first and follow around the turn. The operative in what was the first car will come around and get at the back of the line. This technique works best with four or more vehicles. Doing it with less than three is a bad idea.

Following someone on foot involves the same principles.

A lone operative can’t just be leaning against Schmucky’s front door in Manhattan and start following him the minute he walks outside. The operative would be so easy to spot that they might as well be wearing their “I’m a Fed” T-shirt. To effectively follow someone on foot, an operative must start from a distance and bring a team.

Again, if Schmucky’s route is known, people can be stationed to take over along the way. If it is not known, the team will work in the same way as a line of vehicles, with the person in front peeling off and coming around to the back of the line, either at a turn or at another juncture.

The team will likely ditch their electronics and communicate with physical signals because even headsets and ear pieces are often too obvious.

A signal might be taking off a hat or ducking into a café to indicate that the person behind should move up and take over. The last person in the line is called “Tail End Charlie.” That person can also jump into a car and go ahead of the others if need be.

Operatives tailing someone on foot must also be careful not to attract the notice of Schmucky’s security team.

Smart Schmuckys with adequate resources will have a security team behind them, watching out for anyone tailing them. That means that operatives can’t only focus on who’s in front of them. They have to be acutely aware of who is behind them, too. Otherwise, Schmucky’s henchman will either put a bullet in an operative’s head, snatch an operative off the street, or at a minimum alert Schmucky that he is being followed.

Sometimes, particularly in fiction, an operative will see Schmucky where they least expect him and need to keep an eye on him without help.

Often, such a fictional operative will duck into a doorway on a street and peek around the edge. In real life, this kind of stopping in a doorway to observe Schmucky puts the “dead” into “dead giveaway.” To avoid that dead factor, an operative must take their eyes off of Schmucky, go all the way inside a building, and only turn around once they are out of sight of the street. At that point, they can come back out and stop in the doorway under some other pretense than watching someone.

Imagine for a moment what it might be like when you’ve worked weeks, or even months or years, for a glimpse of Osama Jihadimaggot, and suddenly he’s there in front of you, walking down the street.

Finally, all of that Third World dysentery you’ve suffered while hunting him down is paying off. Your hands are practically around his neck, preventing his next thousand victims. You’ve alerted your team, and you’re tracking him back to his lair while they join you. You’re keeping up, and there’s no sign he’s noticed you, but then he stops in the street to check out a vendor’s melons. You have to find a way to stop, too, but that requires taking your eyes off of him to go all the way into a shop. He could be gone by the time you take that safety precaution. Maybe just this once…

That’s what it’s like for the operative in the field. It’s sheer agony for them to take their eyes off of the target for that instant, and more than one operative has succumbed to the urge to cut corners “just this once.” And more than one operative has died because of it.

But there is an upside to all of this caution about Schmucky’s trailing henchmen—besides the obvious of not getting killed, of course.

It gives operatives a chance to “clean up” any following entourage behind the target if they choose to do so. That involves either popping them off or snatching them up, depending on the circumstances—a rich, realistic opportunity for stories to unfold either way.

Bottom Line: Professional physical surveillance requires a team wherever possible, not just a lone operative, and that team will have resources according to the status of the subject. If an operative must conduct surveillance alone, they must be exceedingly cautious, and they will likely lose the subject or be spotted.

Do your characters work alone or in teams when they are following a subject? What issues have your characters encountered while tailing targets?

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ABOUT PIPER

Piper Bayard is an author, a recovering attorney, and the managing editor of the Social In Worldwide network. Her writing partner, Jay Holmes, is an anonymous senior member of the intelligence community and a field veteran from the Cold War through the current Global War on Terror. Together, they are the bestselling authors of the international spy thriller, THE SPY BRIDE. You can find Piper at BayardandHolmes.com.