Writers in the Storm

Margie Lawson

When people talk, subtext happens.

Every time.

You can’t say one word without sharing subtext.

Subtext for dialogue: The psychological message behind the words.

When the words and the subtext are incongruent, the truth is in the subtext.

In the real world, we factor in subtext all the time.

On the page, we need subtext to make scenes rich and credible.

If you’re writing a scene with strong emotional content, you need to include plenty of subtext.

This blog focuses on subtext for dialogue. Not the we've-read-it-too-often ways to describe how the character said the words. Those overused descriptors are predictable. Skimmable.

I’m referring to what I call dialogue cues.

Dialogue Cues – My term. Here’s how dialogue cues fit in ways to tag dialogue.

Margie’s Five Categories for Tagging Dialogue:

1. Basic Attributions:  Said and asked
2. Action Tags:  Tags dialogue with action. Doesn’t share anything about the voice
3. Body Language Tags:  Tags dialogue with facial expressions or body language
4. Dialogue Tags:  Shares something about the voice, but these are often overused, like murmured, boomed, resonated, said harshly, said with a razor-sharp edge.
5. Dialogue Cues: Describe how the words are delivered. They inform the reader how to interpret the message behind the words, the psychological nuances.

Digging deeper into dialogue cues.

They’re fresh. They carry interest.

They often deepen characterization. They may add a hit of humor.

Let’s dive in and analyze some dialogue cues.

Note:  Power Words – Words that carry psychological power.

Kennedy Ryan, Loving You Always, Immersion-grad

1. “Walsh!” Meredith’s voice snapped a warning, like twigs underfoot.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Power Words: snapped, warning
• Simile
• Compelling Cadence

2. His voice was a dull-edged knife slicing clumsily through her heart, fiber by bloody fiber. Dull and slow and imprecise and drawn out. She would have preferred a quick cut, but he just kept talking.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Power Words: knife, slicing, heart bloody, dull, slow, imprecise, drawn out, quick cut
• Amplification
• Fresh Writing
• Sentence Frag: Dull and slow and imprecise and drawn out.
• Deepens relationship
• Rhetorical Device: polysyndeton -- Dull and slow and imprecise and drawn out.
• Compelling Cadence

Kimberly Belle, The Ones We Trust, 4-time Immersion-grad

He’s taking care to keep his tone flippant, but I can hear something darker pushing up from under the words, something much more honest and true, as if maybe he’s testing the waters, checking how I will respond.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Power Words: care, flippant, darker, pushing, honest, true, testing, checking
• Fresh Writing
• Deepens relationship
• Compelling Cadence
• Amplified Five Times

1. something darker
2. pushing up from under the words
3. something much more honest and true
4. as if maybe he’s testing the waters
5. checking how I will respond

The Marriage Lie, by 4-time Immersion-Grad Kimberly Belle

The Marriage Lie will be released in December.

1. “Don’t you want to get that?” Claire’s voice is high and girlish, and it slices through the silence like a serrated knife.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Power Words: girlish, slices, silence, knife
• Backloaded with Power Word: knife
• Fresh Writing
• Compelling Cadence – Read the dialogue cue sentence OUT LOUD:

Claire’s voice is high and girlish, and it slices through the silence like a serrated knife.

Now read it OUT LOUD without the word serrated:

Claire’s voice is high and girlish, and it slices through the silence like a knife.

Hear the missing beats before knife?

The sentence with serrated has a much stronger cadence.

2. I scream back, the words fueled by fury and frustration.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Power Words: scream, fueled, fury, frustration
• Rhetorical Device – alliteration
• Compelling cadence
• Backloaded with Power Word -- frustration

3. “True, but my guilty conscience and I wanted you to hear it here first. To make sure you understood the implications.”

"I try to take his emotional pulse, but his eyes are hidden behind dark wraparound sunglasses, his tone and expression guarded. "

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Power Words: emotional, pulse, hidden, guarded Rhetorical Device – alliteration
• Backloaded with Power Word: guarded

4. Her speech is slow and syrupy, and I'm pretty sure she's stoned.

Deep Edit Analysis:

• Power Word: Stoned
• Rhetorical Device – alliteration – speech, slow, syrupy, sure, she’s, stoned
• Backloaded with Power Word: Stoned.
• Compelling Cadence

5. "Iris, if you need any help, I'm happy to--"

"I'm fine." I grimace and pump an I-got-this confidence into my tone. "Thanks, Evan, but don't worry. I'll figure something out."

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Dialogue Cue for POV character describing how she’ll imbue fake confidence in her next sentence.
• Hyphenated-Run-On: I-got-this
• Power Words: grimace, pump, confidence, worry

6. "Look, I don't know where the money is. I didn’t even know about it until a few days ago."

"Of course, you have no idea." His words agree, but not his tone. His tone says that I know where the money is, and he'll make good on his threat if he has to.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Tells incongruence between words and tone
• Tone is interpreted, amplified
• Power Words: agree, money, make good, threat

6.  There's pity in her voice now, and I can't listen to it for another second.

Deep Edit Analysis:

• Power Words: pity, can’t listen
• Shares how dialogue cue impacts POV character
• Compelling Cadence.

Like Father Not Son, Kristin Meachem, 3-time Immersion-Grad

Like Father Not Son is not yet published, but I trust it will be.

1. “I didn’t see your mother at the church.” Jen’s words are sharp enough to cut and disembowel.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Power Words: sharp, cut, disembowel
• Backloaded with Power Word: disembowel
• Compelling Cadence

2.“What do we do now?” Tom’s voice teeters on the edge of tough and frail, unsure which way to fall.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Power Words: teeters, tough, frail, unsure, fall
• Backloaded with Power Word: fall
• Deepens characterization
• Deepens relationship
• Compelling Cadence

3. “Good to know. You’re fine.” There’s as much concern in my voice as a nurse finishing a twelve-hour shift.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Shares incongruence between dialogue and subtext
• Power Words: concern, twelve-hour shift
• Shares sarcasm without using the word sarcasm or sarcastic.
• Humor Hit

4. Liz’s voice is soothing, like a soul singer encouraging you to enjoy the rhythm and the ride.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Power Words: soothing, soul, rhythm, ride
• Double Alliteration: soothing, soul singer; rhythm, ride
• Compelling Cadence

5. "Good for you." Her words give me a standing ovation, but her tone says I'm a full-sized prick.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Shares incongruence between dialogue and subtext
• Power Words: standing ovation, prick
• Backloaded with Power Word: prick
• Compelling Cadence
• Deepens relationship
• Humor Hit

6. “This isn’t about permission. This is about Tom’s happiness.” She coiled her tongue around the last ss’ and spit them out with the aggression of a cornered snake.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Shares incongruence between dialogue and subtext
• Power Words: coiled, spit, aggression, cornered, snake
• Backloaded with Power Word: snake
• Rhetorical Device: simile
• Compelling Cadence

Carry Me Home, Dorothy Adamek, 4-time Immersion-Grad

1.Clipped and cool, his words hardly matched his mission.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Rhetorical Device: Double Alliteration: clipped, cool; matched, mission
• Shared incongruence between words and subtext
• Compelling Cadence

2.  Her voice trembled and her words sounded less confident than she’d intended.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Power Words: trembled, less confident
• Shares POV character’s emotional state

3. His voice remained low, but the look in his eyes curdled her blood faster than any scream.

Deep Edit Analysis: 

• Power Words: curdled, blood, scream
• Backloaded with Power Word: scream
• Compelling Cadence

4. This example is two paragraphs.

“Don’t be so sure of what you can’t see, Miss Mayfield. Some battles are fought against unseen tethers.” His voice remained low, but soft. Soft enough to creep through the shadows and deep into her.

He’d loosened the end of a coil she’d pressed to her ribs since the day they’d met. Not enough for the coil to unravel. But just enough to start the damage.

Deep Edit Analysis – for the two sentences that carry the dialogue cues.

• Power Words: creep, shadows, deep into her
• Amplification
• Rhetorical Device: Anadiplosis …soft. Soft…

I included the second paragraph to show how Dorothy Adamek used a dialogue cue to show the relationship intensifying.

Blog Guests -- Now you have some ideas about adding power with dialogue cues.

Kudos to mega-talented Immersion grads Kimberly Belle, Kennedy Ryan, Kristin Meachem, and Dorothy Adamek. Impressive writing.

Thank you for taking the time to drop by WITS blog today.

Post a comment, and you have TWO CHANCES to WIN! 

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If the avalanche of comments on this blog WOW me, I’ll double the winners!

The drawings will be Sunday, 9:00 p.m. Mountain Time.

Check out the courses offered by Lawson Writer's Academy in September:

1. Story Structure Safari, Instructor: Lisa Miller

2. Developmental Edits, Instructor: Rhay Christou

3. Revision Boot Camp, Instructor: Suzanne Purvis

4. 30 Days to a Stronger Novel, Instructor: Lisa Wells

5. "No One Gets Me!" - Writing Believable YA Characters, Instructor: Julie Glover

6. Five-Week First Draft , Sept. 26 to Oct. 31st -- Instructor: Koreen Myers

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About Margie

Margie Lawson—editor, international presenter—teaches writers how to use her psychologically-based editing systems and deep editing techniques to create page turners. Margie has presented over a hundred  full day master classes for writers in the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and on cruises in the Caribbean.

To learn about Lawson Writer’s Academy, Margie’s 4-day Immersion Master Classes (in Denver, Washington, D.C., Phoenix, Canyon Lake, Dallas, San Jose, Albuquerque, Australia, and more), her full day Master Class presentations, on-line courses, lecture packets, and newsletter, please visit www.margielawson.com.

 

Years ago, an instructor at the UCI Writing Project taught me how to identify the "golden lines" in a lesson, article, or book. Golden lines are the phrases, the ideas, the "takeaway" from whatever you're learning in life. Since then, after I attend a class or workshop, I review my notes and handouts, marking the golden lines. With a yellow highlighter, of course.

My golden lines usually end up as stickies around the edge of my computer monitor. Or on my calendar. And yes, on my refrigerator door, if I want to be sure to see them several times a day. Once I've lived with a golden line long enough to internalize it, the sticky is discarded. When there are no stickies in the house, I know it's time to find a class or conference.

Today I'm sharing my golden lines from RWA 2016 in San Diego last month. I learned a boatload of good stuff, but as Margie Lawson says, "I'm offering you a plate of cookies. Take what you want and leave the rest."

I hope you enjoy these "cookies."

"You need to know what your character is trying to hide." Patty Blount

"You can cut off a character's dialogue, but let the reader know what the character is thinking." Julia Quinn

"Internal Branding includes the type of characters you write, the pacing of your stories, your plotting structure, heat level, writing style, POV, voice and word count. Make sure you're consistent." Elisabeth Naughton

"End actions at the end of your book, encourage your reader to rate, review, or purchase the next book." Daniel Slater, Amazon

On "Building an Audience:

• Establish reader infrastructure early (Facebook group page or other social media)
• Write a series. Write more than one series.
• Let your readers apply to your, "ARC team". In return for an honest review, they receive special information from you, like deleted scenes, as well as the chance to read your books first.
• Cross promote with authors who write in your genre " Cristin Harber and Zoe York

"Write your newsletter in first person. Be sure there's a double opt-in or you'll get spam e-mails and angry readers." Deanna Chase

"Write smart. Write to the market, but write what you love. And write a series." Roxanne Sinclair

"Focus on your readers, not the sales." Steena Holmes

"Four elements that form the basic structure of any story: character, desire, conflict, and change (transformation)." Michael Hauge

"Emotion grows out of conflict, not desire. Obstacles create and increase emotional buy in." Michael Hauge

"Create empathy before you reveal the flaws of the character." Michael Hauge

"Why advertise on Facebook? 1.5 billion users worldwide. 76% are female. Remember that the image in your ad needs to convey emotion. It doesn't have to be your book cover." Carolyn Jewel and Jessica Scott

"For serialized content, publish your work as it is written. Use your author blog, newsletter, WattPad, Goodreads." Brenna Aubrey

"Other regular extra content for your long-term subscribers: epilogues, private access on your website, free holiday themed short stories, playlists, character bios, dream casting for a movie, Pinterest boards with permission to add." Brenna Aubrey

"Get your readers talking to each other!" Cristin Harber and Brenna Aubrey

And the best golden line:

"Send me the full."

Do you have some golden lines from RWA 2016, another conference, a class or a workshop you'd like to share?

About Fae:

Fae Rowen discovered the romance genre after years as a science fiction freak. Writing futuristics and medieval paranormals, she jokes  that she can live anywhere but the present.  As a mathematician, she knows life’s a lot more fun when you get to define your world and its rules.

Punished, oh-no, that’s published as a co-author of a math textbook, she yearns to hear personal stories about finding love from those who read her books, rather than the horrors of calculus lessons gone wrong.  She is grateful for good friends who remind her to do the practical things in life like grocery shop, show up at the airport for a flight, and pay bills.

A “hard” scientist who avoided writing classes like the plague, she now shares her brain with characters who demand their stories be told.  Amazing, gifted critique partners keep her on the straight and narrow. Feedback from readers keeps her fingers on the keyboard.

When she’s not hanging out at Writers in the Storm, you can visit Fae at http://faerowen.com  or www.facebook.com/fae.rowen.

 

Heather Webb

Launching a book—especially a debut—is an utter whirlwind of excitement, sobering facts, and unknowns. (We won’t even touch upon the extreme terror that hits from time to time.) But within this chaos, there are ways to tackle it all and stay sane. Let’s take a look at a few ways I manage a launch.

1. KEEP A CALENDAR Use this calendar for guest posts, interviews, FB or Twitter

   

   chats, in-person events, giveaways, etc, ONLY. I buy a paper planner (though some prefer an online calendar—fine), highlight different categories in different colors, and make daily lists of things to accomplish. (I know—once a teacher, always a teacher.) But this type of organization offers me clarity and helps keep me on top of due dates. I have a family calendar for everything else.
2. SET ASIDE MONEY IN ADVANCE You have to spend money to make money. This is the most basic marketing manifesto. It’s also the truest. If you aren’t willing to shell out some dough to give your book a push, chances are it won’t go anywhere. If you’re one of the lucky lotto winners at your publishing house, more power to you, but there are so few of these—even for many big, established authors. It’s best to look at your market placement realistically so you can give your book its best chance in the saturated reader-sphere.
3. DEVISE A PLAN What will you need all that money for? Ads in papers, magazines, bookish websites, and also for blog tours. Seek out a professional to help you with this. There are some very knowledgeable and reputable organizations that help promote writers. (BUT BE CAREFUL. Do your research. Ask for final numbers, click-throughs, impressions and also take a look at their client lists. There are loads of Mickey Mouse operations out there robbing authors of funds.) Also, I’d recommend not going overboard with in-person tours. They’re expensive, rarely covered by your publisher, and hardly ever sell enough books to make it worthwhile. Plus it can be truly humiliating sitting there all afternoon with a stack of books, only to have people walk by you all day and avoid your gaze. I say this with three books under my belt worth of experience.
4. GO AFTER THE MEDIA, but be realistic. You have limited time so make it count by doing the things most comfortable for you. Start by making a list of all outlets you’d like to approach. Gather the emails and phone numbers you need. Work through your list, with a professional press release in hand. Remember to be polite and give them solid reasons why your book is appropriate for their station/channel, etc. In other words, find the true HOOK in your work that will speak to people, not just the byline you have on the cover copy. If you have a publicist already, you may want to talk with them about how you can split the work. If your publisher doesn’t assign you one, there are many companies and freelancers out there, but again BE CAREFUL. Research. I’m not entirely convinced a publicist is worth it. Some sing their praises.

5. 

   DESIGN PARAPHERNALIA like book marks or postcards—something you can sign. (People like that.) Keep them in your purse, your car, your computer bag. Give a stack to your mom to give out. I’m serious. My mom papered an entire grocery store parking lot. (This is why I call her mom-ager)
6. GIVEAWAYS Remember that Goodreads and LibraryThing prompt readers to add your book to their TO READ list when they enter a giveaway. On release day, those platforms email everyone on that list to announce the release. This is crucial to getting the word out.
7. REACH OUT TO BOOK CLUBS interested in hosting you. There are wonderful online book clubs and also in-person clubs, of course. Look to them as they may become your biggest supporters. One note here. Not all books are good for every single book club. For example, my in-person group gravitates toward literary fiction, historicals, and the occasional thriller. An online group I belong to is mostly women’s fiction and romance. Still another is young adult. Once again, do your research. OH! And don’t forget to bring the cupcakes. Everyone likes cupcakes.
8. CHAT A LOT Create a hashtag related to your book, genre, or topics in the novel and set up chats on Goodreads and Twitter, maybe FB as well, depending on which makes you the most comfortable. Another word of caution here. It’s fine to promote your book, of course, but do not rely on social media to sell much. Plus, people get sick of hearing about it. New figures just came out that shows less than 1% of books are sold through social media avenues that are author-driven. Something to chew on.
9. DON’T REFRESH your Amazon and Barnes & Noble ranking every five minutes. It will drive you insane, and really doesn’t mean all that much. Go play with some friends instead on your release day.
10. STAY CALM Going completely ape shit crazy won’t change the massive amount of work ahead of you OR help you sell more books. Go for a run, do some meditation, get drunk—for the love of all that’s holy, take the edge off. There’s only so much of this entire process we can control. Besides, the day your book releases will feel strangely anti-climactic. Also, later down the road comes the post partum. but that’s a post for another day.
11. CELEBRATE I promised ten points, but this is too important to ignore! Despite all the pressure, despite things not going exactly as you imagined, despite the many balls dropped along the way on your end and/or your publisher’s, remember that you’re LIVING THE DREAM! You’re published, people are reading YOUR words, and loving them. Also, you’ve worked your tail off to create something meaningful or entertaining. Bask in the excitement and be proud of yourself. Celebrate like it’s 1999.

Do you have a tip to share that you learned during your book release? Maybe you're getting ready for your debut release and have a question? 

About Heather

Heather Webb writes historical novels for Penguin and HarperCollins,which have been translated to three languages and have been featured in the Wall Street Journal, Cosmopolitan magazine, France magazine, and Reuters News Book Talk. BECOMING JOSEPHINE follows the life and times of Josephine Bonaparte set to the backdrop of the French Revolution, and RODIN’S LOVER released Jan 27th, chronicles the passionate and tragic story of Camille Claudel, sculptor, collaborator, and lover to the famed Auguste Rodin. A FALL OF POPPIES releases in 2016.

Heather is also a freelance editor and contributor to award-winning writing sites WriterUnboxed.com and RomanceUniversity.org. She is a member of the Historical Novel Society and the Women’s Fiction Writers Association.

Twitter: @msheatherwebb