When I began writing, my children were very young—4 months and 2 years respectively. Each day at 2 PM, I would tuck them in for their naps and I had three to four hours of uninterrupted writing time. I luxuriated in it, and looking back, I’m glad I did. I would pour a bath, gather a snack and beverage, turn on the classical music station, light my beloved Frasier Fir Woodwick candle, grab my notebook and fountain pen (loaded with violet ink, naturally), perch my laptop carefully on the edge of the tub, and get to work. I was a machine. 2,000-3,000 words daily without breaking a sweat.
But life happens.
My son started preschool. We moved out of the countryside and back to the suburbs in a new city, which meant I lost my ginormous tub. Denver doesn’t have a classical music station. (Seriously, Denver? Get your #$%@ together!) The dreaded day came when my children stopped napping (that one still hurts). I had to completely change my writing routine. I won’t lie; I lost weeks trying to find a way to weave the strands of my writing career into our new lives. I was miserable because I was barely able to find the time I needed to meet my deadlines for existing projects—developing new ones? Fuggedaboudit.
I tried burning the midnight oil, but I’m not one who functions brilliantly at night, so I had to find a way to manufacture some time during the day. Note that word choice. We don’t have time, we make time. My solution was to haul my youngest to the community rec center as soon as I drop my son off at preschool and let her play in the child watch center for the maximum allotted two hours. It’s a waste of a gym membership in the traditional sense, I admit, but workouts will return in due course.
I race to the lobby, set up my laptop, fire up Netflix or Amazon Prime on my iPad and stream a movie or show I’ve seen a zillion times to drown out the noise with my earbuds, and get as much done in those two hours as I possibly can. No candles, no warm bath. If I’m lucky, I get the table that overlooks the swimming pool. I bring a snack so I don’t have to spend the time or money on vending machines. I even make sure my laptop is booted up in the car before I drop off my daughter and that I’ve used the “facilities” before I leave home so I don’t have to spend precious minutes on anything other than writing. I do not move for two hours. My FitBit gets cranky about it. I prioritize so that the key tasks are completed during this window of peak time and do the less demanding things at night when my brain is less than stellar.
It does take some planning—packing writing bags the night before and having ranked lists of what needs to be done each day, but I found a way to keep up some of my former momentum. And after all that work, that routine will go out the window in four weeks when my son is out of school for the summer. And once again when both children start school in August. The advantage is that this time, I know the bare minimum of what I need to be able to be productive and I won’t lose weeks carving out a new schedule. I miss the days of yore where I could revel in the creative process, but I remind myself that they aren’t gone forever—just for the time being. I learned what I need as a bare minimum to write is a block of child-free time, white noise, and a plan. Carbs help, too. I have succeeded in creating my Moveable Muse, which will enable my career to thrive even when writing conditions are less than ideal.
Over to you—what tricks to you use to carve out extra writing time in your day?
Bound for a new continent, and a new beginning.
In her illuminating debut novel, Aimie K. Runyan masterfully blends fact and fiction to explore the founding of New France through the experiences of three young women who, in 1667, answer Louis XIV’s call and journey to the Canadian colony.
They are known as the filles du roi, or “King’s Daughters”—young women who leave prosperous France for an uncertain future across the Atlantic. Their duty is to marry and bring forth a new generation of loyal citizens. Each prospective bride has her reason for leaving—poverty, family rejection, a broken engagement. Despite their different backgrounds, Rose, Nicole, and Elisabeth all believe that marriage to a stranger is their best, perhaps only, chance of happiness.
Once in Quebec, Elisabeth quickly accepts baker Gilbert Beaumont, who wants a business partner as well as a wife. Nicole, a farmer’s daughter from Rouen, marries a charming officer who promises comfort and security. Scarred by her traumatic past, Rose decides to take holy vows rather than marry. Yet no matter how carefully she chooses, each will be tested by hardship and heartbreaking loss—and sustained by the strength found in their uncommon friendship, and the precarious freedom offered by their new home.
Google “perfectionism” and “writers” and you’d think perfectionism was a deadly disease.
Pages pop up offering tips for overcoming the “disorder,” warnings for avoiding the “dangerous” tendencies, and help for “dealing” with it.
Even the beloved Anne Lamott (Bird by Bird) is quoted as saying:
“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life….”
I’m not one to question the wisdom of Anne Lamott, but that quote does make me wince a little. I mean, cramped and insane? Is it really that bad?
What if you are a writer who happens to be a perfectionist? Are you doomed to failure before you even start?
Why Do We Pick on Perfectionists?
We all have unique character traits, and they can have both positive and negative sides to them. Someone who is very detail oriented, for example, is likely to shine at carrying a project through to a successful conclusion, but may have a hard time seeing the bigger picture, or envisioning the overall end game.
On the other side of the coin, someone who is a brilliant visionary is likely to have difficulty remembering everything that needs to be done on a project, and without help, may miss something really important.
The problem (or blessing) is that most of us can’t change these inherent characteristics. Not completely.
Studies have shown this to be true. According to the New York Times, for instance:
“The largest and longest studies to carefully analyze personality throughout life reveal a core of traits that remain remarkably stable over the years…”
Paul T. Costa Jr., scientist emeritus at the laboratory of behavioral science at the National Institutes of Health, found similar results in his studies:
“It’s not that personality is fixed and can’t change. But it’s relatively stable and consistent. What you see at 35, 40 is what you’re going to see at 85, 90.”
So to be so hard on perfectionism, above all other traits, seems to be a little unfair. After all, the perfectionist can’t really stop being so. Not entirely. To ask someone to do that is like asking a visionary to swap and become detail oriented, or the detail oriented to suddenly take on the visionary attitude.
They can try, but they’re likely to end up frustrated, and worse, to lose confidence in their abilities as a whole.
Yet there’s no doubt that though there are some good sides to perfectionism (really!), it can also have a damaging, negative influence on a writing career.
So what’s a perfectionist writer to do?
5 Positive Traits of Perfectionist Writers
It’s time to embrace what can be a positive trait in many ways. Let’s look at some of them:
Perfectionists are always trying to make their work better: A perfectionist writer is likely to never be satisfied, and that can be a good thing, because it’s a powerful motivator. This writer is going to attend classes, read, and work to improve his writing—which means he’s likely to continue getting better.
Perfectionists don’t let things fall through the cracks:Hyper-organized and hard working, perfectionists take care of the details and more. It’s their books that will get all the facts right, and their websites that will rarely be missing an important update.
A perfectionist’s work is to be admired:Though it may take a perfectionist longer to get her work out, when she does, it’s often a product of beauty. When you read it, you can almost feel the care put into every sentence and word choice.
Perfectionists are determined:Because they hold such high standards for themselves, perfectionists are often determined folks, motivated to do what they need to do to get where they want to go. They can endure a series of setbacks and keep fighting.
Perfectionists make good editors:These writers actually enjoy finding shortcomings in their stories, because it’s fun to fix them. This is one of their strengths, and one they can excel at not only in their own work, but in that of other writers, as well, if they choose to offer their editing services.
“Being a perfectionist isn’t a bad thing; in fact, it may mean you have very high standards and you often meet those standards. Those who have perfectionist tendencies without having those tendencies rule — or ruin — their lives are what psychiatrists call ‘adaptive’ perfectionists. They find it very important to do certain things in the right way, but this need doesn’t hinder their lives and can actually help them achieve great success….”
“Desirable aspects of this personality trait include conscientiousness, endurance, satisfaction with life, and the ability to cope with adversity. This helps explain why some perfectionists become corporate leaders, skilled surgeons, or Olympic champions.”
Yet it’s not all sunshine and rainbows. We know that perfectionism—like any character trait—has a dark side. The answer, though, is not to deny that we have this trait, or to feel badly about it. Instead, we need to embrace the positive side, become more aware of the negative, and learn some coping techniques for keeping it in control.
In other words, as Dr. Jeff Szymanski, a clinical instructor of psychology at Harvard Medical School, says in The Perfectionist’s Handbook, we need to become “better” perfectionists.
5 Challenges Facing Perfectionist Writers
Just what are the drawbacks to being a perfectionist writer? Let’s remind ourselves of a few of them:
Everything takes longer:Because a perfectionist is concerned with getting things just right, she’s likely to take longer to do just about any project. That means her career may proceed more slowly, because her releases are few and far between.
Writer’s block can be a common occurrence: If a perfectionist writer takes a break from his novel, he may find it more difficult than most to return. Just looking at the file reminds him of all its flaws, and he knows the sheer amount of work that will be needed to fix them.
Criticism is hard to take…really hard: A perfectionist writer tends to define herself by her achievements. That makes accepting criticism of her work extremely difficult, because it feels like criticism of her, personally.
Burnout is always just around the corner: If allowed to get out of hand, perfectionism can cause burnout in a hurry. Writers may find themselves burning the midnight oil to make sure everything is perfect, from their next novel to their next blog post to their next email, to the point that they eventually buckle under the demanding load. The result can be exhaustion and depression or even a serious illness.
No accomplishment is ever enough: Perfectionists find it hard to celebrate their successes. They win an award and figure the competition wasn’t that stiff. They get a publishing contract and fret about marketing. They hit the bestseller’s list and worry they’ll never get there again. It can lead to a downward spiral and an unhappy life.
This side of perfectionism isn’t fun—ask those who suffer through it. Science-fiction writer Veronica Sicoe, for instance, admits to being a perfectionist, and talks about her challenges:
“It’s not easy being a perfectionist….Being unable to enjoy doing something without grading the result is not fun. Being unable to forgive oneself for making even tiny mistakes is not fun. Being unable to move on unless a project is beaten to death is really not fun. And on top of that, we’re experts at giving ourselves a guilty conscience over almost anything. Just make your pick, we’d be able to feel bad about how we’re doing it in ten minutes.”
So what’s a perfectionist writer to do?
7 Tips to Help You Become the Best Perfectionist Writer You Can Be
First, realize that you are a perfectionist. Here are some signs:
You’re hypercritical (of self and others)
You spend more time than needed on a task
You wait for the “perfect moment” to get started
You focus on the details (rather than big picture)
You have a hard time delegating
Next, work to embrace your perfectionism, but keep it from bringing you down by trying these tips:
Find areas where you can let up: Perfectionists tend to want everything to be perfect. Try to identify projects that don’t matter as much, and practice allowing them to be sub-par. Write your blog posts in WordPress and hit “publish” even if it makes you nervous. Take a first draft of a story to your critique group as is—don’t allow yourself to “fix” it first. Keep practicing. You’ll probably never feel comfortable letting some projects go without being “perfect,” but you can get better at it.
Realize that your standards are super high: Step back for a moment and realize that it’s likely that your standards are super high, and that there’s no real definition of “perfect” writing. Simply remembering that can help you go easier on yourself and your work.
Realize that perfectionism makes you less productive: Studies have actually shown that perfectionists are less productive than others. When you’re agonizing over one project, you’re slowing yourself down and allowing your perfectionism to call the shots. Make productivity a goal, and let your perfectionism work on that for awhile!
Practice fooling yourself: If your perfectionist tendencies make you likely to procrastinate, find ways to fool yourself into getting started. Tell yourself you’ll write for only five minutes, or that this isn’t the “real” draft, but just a “practice” one. Focus on the process of writing rather than the product. Come up with other ways to get around your perfectionist roadblocks.
Separate your work from your inner self: You may never be able to do this completely, but the more you practice, the easier it gets. The key is to face your fear frequently. Get your work out there more often. Let the criticisms come raging in, and then remind yourself of your value in other ways. Spend time with friends and loved ones, get more involved in your hobbies, and work on some of your other strengths (such as your parenting, volunteering, caregiving, or cooking powers).
When you feel tense, let go: When a perfectionist’s negative traits raise their ugly heads, the body usually responds, too. Muscles tense, and we become stiff and rigid. Notice how your body acts when your perfectionism is in full stride, and consciously relax. Bring your shoulders down, breathe deeply, and allow things to be as they are, reminding yourself that everything is okay.
Make failing a game: Perfectionists fear failure. They work to get everything just right so they don’t. Make it a game to see how many mistakes you can commit. Not by faking it, but by trying new things more often. Send out more submissions. Query more agents. Try out more types of writing that are unfamiliar to you, like poetry, flash fiction, or something in a different genre than you’re used to. Submit your work to more contests. Gradually, you may start to have more fun with the whole thing, and failure won’t seem like such a big deal. You may also surprise yourself at the successes you experience!
Bottom line: Realize that your perfectionism is probably not going to go away, and that’s okay. In many ways, it can benefit your career. Limit its potential destructiveness by becoming more aware of how it affects you, and practice coping techniques that help.
“In the end, managing perfectionism is a life long process; it requires that we tackle difficult emotions….We need to believe that we’re good enough. Not perfect, but good enough.”
Do you have more tips for encouraging the positive aspects of perfectionism, or limiting the negative? Please share them with our readers.
Colleen M. Storywrites imaginative fiction and is also a freelance writer, instructor, and motivational speaker specializing in creativity, productivity, and personal wellness. Her latest novel, Loreena’s Gift, was released with Dzanc Books April 12 2016. Her fantasy novel, Rise of the Sidenah, is a North American Book Awards winner, and New Apple Book Awards Official Selection (Young Adult). She is the founder of Writing and Wellness, a motivational site for writers and other creatives. Find more at her website, or follow her on Twitter.
Most writers I know make sounds resembling a dying wildebeest when you mention yet another social media outlet to grapple with.
And usually that’s Instagram.
We get Facebook (because we have to), and we get Twitter (you get Twitter, right? If not, you’re missing out on wonderful things like #MSWL and #pitchmad!). We get Pinterest because you can just be passive and pin all the pretty.
But Instagram isn’t so clear in terms of use and marketing for authors.
Is it really necessary?
And yet, Instagram is one of the most fun tools out there. It really is! Bear with me and let me show you.
The basic mechanics of Instagram
First, understand that Instagram doesn’t want to be anything but mobile, so if you’re hoping to use it on your desktop, you won’t (well, unless you use a tool like Bluestacks, which I recommended in my last post on Social media tips for keeping your sanity).
For a long time, I didn’t care because—what? Was I going to take photos of my feet or my breakfast? Who cared? Turns out, there are tons of times you might want to take a photo and upload:
When you put together your TBD pile
When you get your ARCs in the mail if you’re pubbed
When you and your cat are enjoying a nice cup of tea (I’m guilty)
Think of Instagram as snapshots of your life. Behind the scenes snapshots. And people LOVE seeing the person behind the words. And therefore, Instagram is a terrific tool.
Just like Twitter is a quick little foray from your head, Instagram is a visual snapshot of your head.
Tags work just like Twitter
Yes, and there are tons of authors waiting to see your photos. There really are! You can find your tribe just as easily on Instagram as on Facebook or Twitter. Try these:
The ideal posting frequency is 1.5 times a day. Instagram recently changed their algorithm to resemble Facebook’s in that the more you post, the more you’ll be seen.
Followers are as sneaky as on Twitter
You’ll get the usual people following you so you’ll follow back, just like on Twitter—yawn! And you’ll hear people tell you that the way to get more followers on Instagram is to follow loads of people you don’t know and see what happens. Um….or, just be yourself? And followers will come because you’re awesome?
There are plenty of marketing opportunities
There’s so much fun to be had for writers and authors on Instagram. There are:
List challenges, like the current #ListifyLife challenge that me and author Roni Loren came up with. It’s just all about writing lists – one topic per week. Search for it and see!
Instagram take-overs. This is a really fun idea where a friend or fellow author takes over your account for a set period of time, like a day or a week. They post and their followers get exposure to you, and vice versa. It’s a fun way to inject something different into your posts.
If your reader audience is in the 15-25 years-old age, Instagram is the way they are connecting now. But DON'T be promotional. Be authentic.
Joining Instagram is easy
It may seem slow at first...but you'll get there!
It's best to use a mobile device, because Instagram was designed for mobile use. Go to Instagram.com. When filling out your profile, use your real picture--a really good one of the real you. You are going to use Instagram to build your brand. Build your brand around your author name. You want to sell you, why you write. Be positive. Follow people and leave comments.
Like Twitter, Instagram uses hashtags and limits your characters. You've got 150 to say what you need to go with your pictures. The easiest time to post is right after you take a picture you want to share.
The best time to post on Instagram is quitting time, 5:00 p.m. The optimum number of posts per day is 1.5. So that means a single post one day, two the next, and alternate on that schedule.
You can be as creative as you want. You can be as engaged as you want. It's another way to connect with your potential readers. And it can be fun. Really!
Are you on Instagram already? What challenges, successes, or just fun times have you had on Instagram? What's your best shared picture?
(Note from Fae: Sierra is collecting cool pictures in places with little-to-no connectedness. Never fear, our Writers in the Storm group will respond to your comments. And Sierra will be here when she can throughout the week, so check back for her responses.)
About Sierra
Sierra Godfrey writes fiction with international settings and always a mention of football (soccer) or two. She is a member of the Women’s Fiction Writers Association and a quarterly contributor to Writers in the Storm. She writes weekly about Spanish football for various sports sites, and is also a freelance graphic designer. She lives in the foggy wastelands of the San Francisco Bay Area with her family.
