Writers in the Storm

A blog about writing

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Believe It Or Not: How Not To Write Action

Tiffany Lawson Inman

A lengthy list of components must come together to create well-written action and fighting in fiction. One of the most important components is believability.

Believability in writing action and fighting is something that trips-up many authors and editors. I am including editors because I have read too many published books with out-of-place action words and phrases and sometimes entire action or fight sequences. So it would seem that the editors as well as the authors either don’t recognize the issue or don’t know how to fix it and it is then a rough spot for your readers.

Always be asking yourself if your characters are using the right actions.

Are the actions you have written for them even in the same skill set as that character?

Are they fighting a fight in your novel or have they transformed into one of the knife-wielding thugs from one of Harlan Coben’s latest novels?

You do not want your character to go from little Ashley, the ninety-nine pound Physiology major at CU Boulder, to Bruce Banner’s Hulk in a blink of a word or phrase. Unless this is a paranormal and she has super powers, of course. A beefed-up and out-of-place word or phrase will pop off the page and wedge itself between your reader and your story.

This is not a good thing.

Your Character

Examples of out-of-place action words and phrases for the character’s skillset and theme of the book they were written for:

  • She launched herself out of the car window.
  • He targeted the man’s jawline and threw a fast jab that connected with a crack. He knew he had just broken someone’s jaw.
  • She turned back towards her attacker with a quick spin and side-kicked. The kick landed against his neck and she quickly readjusted her stance to get in few more kicks.
  • She saw the punch coming and leaned back to avoid Jarred’s giant fist. Heather grabbed her book laden backpack and decided to fight back. She heaved her pack into the side of his head and from the sound of it she could probably say goodbye to her snack-bag of Cheetos. Jarred whimpered and fell back against the lockers.
  • I dive sideways through the doorway, hit the ground in a roll and keep running away from them.

 The above examples don’t seem like they would do any harm in a book, do they? They seem like straightforward actions and fight actions. But how about if I were to tell you that all of these were taken from Romance, YA, NA, and Women’s Fiction? And that the characters performing the above actions were not trained in Mixed Martial Arts or the art of escape, and none of them had superpowers.   Yes, some of them were being threatened and were either fighting for something or against someone. But that does not mean between the first line of the book and this scene that a mystery man came in and uploaded fancy skills into their character brains. These were just regular characters.

If you want your readers to connect to the believability of your story, they must also connect to the believability of your character’s actions.

Let us look a little closer at those examples.

  • She launched herself out of the car window.

According to the online Merriam-Webster dictionary, LAUNCH is to send or shoot (something, such as a rocket) into the air or water or into outer space, or to throw (something) forward in a forceful way. As it is written in the book, it would seem that a girl or woman is launching herself out of a car window. She actually launches herself out of the car window from the passenger seat of a compact car. Hmmmm… .

I see the word LAUNCH being used in many stories and there are only a few when that word made sense. It takes power to launch something into the air. It takes muscle and concentration and drive and flexibility and confidence to launch yourself out of a window. Not to mention, a few more actions involved in the extraction of your body from the car’s seat to aim out the window and getting your feet into a position to manipulate the action. Unless there was an escape hatch or the like…and there was not. So here I am, a reader, thinking the POV character is a regular woman with regular human capabilities and suddenly she is frightened by a situation and launches herself out of the car window. Pretty darn unbelievable.

  • He targeted the man’s jawline and threw a fast jab that connected with a crack. He knew he had just broken someone’s jaw.

For a non-boxer and non-brawler and not regularly violent man to be able to target a jawline in the middle of a fight and “throw a fast jab” that actually connects and connects hard enough to break a jaw…well it is pretty darn unbelievable.

Considering the fact that this untrained and ungloved character was able to break a jaw with one fast jab, and walked away without any broken bones in his own hand…pretty darn unbelievable.

And also considering that it takes a professional boxer or MMA fighter a much heftier punch than a simple fast jab to break a jaw…yup, pretty darn unbelievable.

Did you know that during a 10-12 round boxing match there are approximately 600 punches thrown by one competitor and only around 30-50 percent of those punches actually connect to the opponent in the ring? So although I know it isn’t very exciting (at first) to write a fight where there are punches and kicks that don’t connect, it would be more realistic. And if you were to take your reader’s deeper into a more realistic reality for your character, I am willing to bet your scene will take on a whole different feel and it will find a deeper connection with your reader.

  • She turned back towards her attacker with a quick spin and side-kicked. The kick landed against his neck and she quickly readjusted her stance to get in few more kicks.

Again this is not a kickboxing champion here and she doesn’t have any superpowers just a regular chick surprised in an alley by a big bad dude. So why is she without fear or stumbling and able to quick spin side-kick a man in the neck. Did I mention he was described as being over a foot taller than her? And then she is gutsy enough to (and has the skillset to) readjust her stance for more action. What do you think? Do I believe it? Nope.

  • She saw the punch coming and leaned back to avoid Jarred’s giant fist. Heather grabbed her book laden backpack and decided to fight back. She heaved her pack into the side of his head and from the sound of it she could probably say goodbye to her snack-bag of Cheetos. Jarred whimpered and fell back against the lockers like a ragdoll wearing a football jersey.

Cute, but still very very unbelievable. Seeing the punch coming and the ability to move fast enough is always a little suspect. But then to be able to bend down, grab a heavy backpack and heft it with such force and accuracy to not only connect with the side of his head but also make Jarred the-football-player-with-giant-fists whimper and seemingly be knocked-out from this backpack blow? I am not convinced. Action fail.

  • I dive sideways through the doorway, hit the ground in a roll and keep running away from them.

If you are a gymnast, ninja, or stunt person this sideways controlled dive n’ roll n’ run would be totally doable. But for this character, a young, semi-klutzy and self-proclaimed chubby woman? No. I don’t think so. I don’t even think I have to go into any more detail to convince you that this is also pretty darn unbelievable.

What have you learned from these examples? Before writing your action and fights, think about your character’s skillset. Think about your genre. Make sure you are not pulling action from the big-multi-purpose-grab-bag of action because you are too intimidated or hurried to write a good scene. There isn’t a multi-purpose-grab bag of actions because no other writer is writing your story with your characters their skillets.

If you have doubts about the action or fights that you are writing, stop. Remember that this is only one component of writing action and fights. Do your research, take classes, or use an editor that knows action and fighting. Don’t let your action or fight scene intimidate you into writing poorly.

As you are writing and before sending off to the editor or publisher, look at the action written, get out of your writing nook and physically work through the action. Slowly. Keep asking yourself if your characters would be able to do the action. Remind yourself that not all of your characters are Superman or Catwoman. **Within reason of course, I know some of you are writing characters falling off mountains, or narrowly missing trains, or getting punched repeatedly etc. So be smart about it. **

Chances are, if you hand off your scene to someone with your character’s skill set and they fail to act it out because it is too complicated or not complicated enough, or if they look at you like you are insane and deny your request to act it out, then the action you have written is also a fail. Time to rethink, rewrite, and then re-act.

Go forth and write believable action!

Thank you so much for reading today. Do you have a line or two of action getting your brain in a twist? I can help!

Toss your one or two lines down into the comments and I will see what I can do for you. Remember to tell me about your genre, characters, and your goal outcome of the action or fight scene. Depending on what I see, I might ask you a few more questions. I’m a hands-on teacher and editor and I don’t like my blogs to stop here, so come on down to the comments section and play!  

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About Tiffany

TiffanyLawsonInmanBioPic

Tiffany Lawson Inman claimed a higher education at Columbia College Chicago. There, she learned to use body and mind together for action scenes, character emotion, and dramatic story development. Tiffany’s background in theatre provides her with a unique approach to the craft of writing, and her clients and students greatly benefit. As a freelance editor, she provides deep story critique, content editing, and line editing.

Stay tuned to Twitter @NakedEditor for Tiffany’s upcoming guest blogs, classes, contests, and lecture packets.She teaches Action and Fighting, Madness to Method: high intensity emotion, Triple Threat Scene Writing, Writing Humor For Every Genre, and More to Memoirs than memories, and Short Story Workshops for Lawson Writer’s Academy online. She is working on hands-on-action workshops, and will be offering webinars this year.

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Merchandising Rights in Publishing Deals

Susan Spann

This is the third in a subsidiary rights series. If you missed one of the posts, click to read the first or the second article. 

In publishing, “merchandising rights” refers to the right(s) to create, market, and sell merchandise (products) based on a book or its characters and settings. “Jurassic Park” T-shirts and Bertie Botts’ Every-Flavor Beans (yes, they make them) are two examples of merchandising rights in action.

 The term “merchandising rights” covers everything from greeting cards to candy bars, from clothing to action figures—and every publishing contract allocates these rights to the author, to the publisher, or both.

Often, authors don’t realize that many publishing contracts contain an exclusive license of all merchandising rights to the publisher. (They also require the publisher to pay the author a royalty share (usually 50%) of merchandising income.)

However, there’s no legal obligation for authors to license merchandising rights to the publisher at all. Publishers don’t produce T-shirts, and merchandising licenses are a windfall for publishing houses. Authors, by contrast, can benefit from the ability to create, sell, and profit from merchandise based on their works—if they’re savvy enough to retain the merchandising rights.

The grant of merchandising rights is usually located in the “subsidiary rights” paragraph. Read the contract carefully: you’re looking for “merchandising” or “product” rights, and they’re usually found about halfway down the contract, in a list of subsidiary rights and royalty percentages.

Some things to consider before signing a grant of merchandising rights:

  1. Is the grant of rights exclusive?

Granting someone else exclusive rights to create merchandise prevents the author from making his or her own merchandise, or granting anyone else the right to do so. Think carefully before you deprive yourself of that right.

  1. Is the publisher (or other entity seeking the license) capable of exploiting the merchandising rights?  

Don’t license merchandising rights to anyone who cannot use and exploit them effectively. Few (if any) publishers have merchandising departments – in fact, few publishers have sales departments capable of licensing merchandising rights effectively.

Merchandising rights normally become important after a book becomes a bestseller (or a film or TV series). Most commonly, manufacturers either approach the author (or publisher), seeking permission to make a licensed product, or the author uses his or her own contacts to generate a merchandising deal. If you’ve licensed the rights to a publisher, you lose the chance to make that deal yourself, and the publisher gets a significant percentage of the merchandising income.

  1. Does the licensee actually plan to produce a product?

This might seem obvious, but … You wouldn’t sell your manuscript to a publisher who had no plan to publish the book, and you shouldn’t license merchandising rights to anyone who hasn’t got a plan to produce a product.

  1. Is the author’s royalty or payment percentage fair? 

Insist on an industry-standard merchandising contract (and a fair royalty percentage) when contracting with a company to produce merchandise based on your work. “Industry standard” varies depending on the type of product being produced, so hire experienced merchandising counsel to review any contracts before you sign.

Note: 50% of the publisher’s income from merchandise licenses isn’t the same as 50% of the proceeds received by the company making the products.

Normally, merchandising rights have little value at the time the author enters into a publishing contract. Consider Jurassic Park and the Harry Potter series. In both cases, the merchandising rights are much more valuable now than at the time of release. Managing your rights carefully now can help avoid regrets down the line.

Is it worth abandoning a publishing deal to retain your merchandising rights?

Only you, the author, can make that call—and today, I’m empowering you to make it any way you choose. Don’t feel intimidated if a publisher pushes back on the issue of merchandising rights. They’re your rights, and you, the author, get to decide whether or not to license them, and on what terms. Make the decision you believe is appropriate for you and for your work.

Remember: once you’ve signed the rights away, you can’t get them back as long as the contract remains in force, so get professional advice and treat it as a business decision.

Is it OK to license merchandising rights to a publisher?

Sure—and don’t beat yourself up if you’ve already done it. It’s not the end of the world. Sometimes it makes business sense to license merchandising rights (at proper percentages) to make a deal. Other times—especially when the contract over-reaches in other areas—it’s better for the author to walk away. The key is making an informed, reasonable decision based on your individual situation.

How do your contracts handle merchandising rights? If you don’t have a contract yet, do you feel better prepared to manage these rights when you get an offer?

Susan Spann

Susan Spann writes the Hiro Hattori Novels, featuring ninja detective Hiro Hattori and his Portuguese Jesuit sidekick, Father Mateo. The fourth book in the series, THE NINJA’S DAUGHTER, will release from Seventh Street Books in August 2016. Susan is the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers’ 2015 Writer of the Year, and a transactional attorney whose practice focuses on publishing and business law. When not writing or practicing law, she raises seahorses and rare corals in her marine aquarium. Find her online at http://www.SusanSpann.com, on Twitter (@SusanSpann), and on Facebook (SusanSpannAuthor).

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Write Up A Storm Today!

It’s here. The first anniversary of Write Up a Storm.

We’re writing up a storm from 4:00 a.m. to 10:00 PDT. If you missed the tips, you can read them on our Facebook page.

Eighteen hours of opportunities to connect with others, meet goals, and get your words “on paper.”

We’ll be writing from the top of every hour for fifty minutes. In the interest of health, we’ve planned a ten minute break at the end of every hour for walking around and other physical necessities. If you need to work on a different schedule, say around breaks and lunch at work, that’s fine. Keep track of your progress and, when you get a chance, let us know how you’re doing.

During that ten-minute break, you’re welcome to post your word or page counts and anything else in the comment section on our Facebook Event page. (No other electronic “stuff” which might end up being a time sump and stealing your planned writing time!) We’ll tally numbers and post them every hour. Or so. Heck, we’ll be writing, too!

We’re hoping for at least a novella-length combined word count. I’m betting we can get a novel’s worth of word count.

You can commit to hours or only a fifteen minute block of writing time. Just follow through on your goal. That’s how you finish a book. And today is a chance to make headway on finishing your book. As Laura Drake says, “You can’t sell a book if you haven’t finished one.”

So let’s support each other and make this fun. Because it can be, with a community. Writing is, by nature, a solitary endeavor. That doesn’t mean you have to feel alone. Join us.

Here’s your dance card:

Laura Drake will start the party from 5:00 a.m. to 8:00 a.m. PDT.

Fae Rowen‘s on duty from 8:00 a.m. to 10:00 a.m. PDT.

Orly Konig-Lopez will be onboard from 10:00 a.m. to noon. PDT.

Fae Rowen returns from noon to 7:00 p.m. PDT.  (Yes, I plan on getting a lot of writing done!)

Jenny Hansen runs totals and presides over the closing ceremonies from 7:00 to 10:00 p.m. PDT.

Of course, we’ll all be checking in throughout the day, even when we don’t have “formal” responsibilities.

You can let us know you’re writing as you begin, or you can share what you’ve accomplished when your writing stint is finished.

Today’s the day. 

Write Up A Storm.

Share your experiences and word counts on our Facebook page.

Fae Rowen

Fae Rowen discovered the romance genre after years as a science fiction freak.  Writing futuristics and medieval paranormals, she jokes  that she can live anywhere but the present.  As a mathematician, she knows life’s a lot more fun when you get to define your world and its rules.

Punished, oh-no, that’s published as a co-author of a math textbook, she yearns to hear personal stories about finding love from those who read her books, rather than the horrors of calculus lessons gone wrong.  She is grateful for good friends who remind her to do the practical things in life like grocery shop, show up at the airport for a flight and pay bills.

A “hard” scientist who avoided writing classes like the plague, she now enjoys sharing her brain with characters who demand that their stories be told.  Amazing, gifted critique partners keep her on the straight and narrow. Feedback from readers keeps her fingers on the keyboard.

When she’s not hanging out at Writers in the Storm, you can visit Fae at http://faerowen.com  or www.facebook.com/fae.rowen.

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