Writers in the Storm

Margie Lawson

Thank you for inviting me to guest blog again this month. I love being on WITS!

Want more superpowers in your WIP?

Most writers use just a few rhetorical devices. These are the most frequently used: simile, metaphor, alliteration, onomatopoeia, hyperbole, and the occasional rhetorical question.

How many rhetorical devices are in your writing toolbox?

Six?

Fifteen?

Twenty-two?

Thirty?

We’ll look at eight out of the thirty rhetorical devices I cover in my Deep Editing course and lecture packets.

1. Alliteration
2. Allusion
3. Anadiplosis
4. Anaphora
5. Metaphor
6. Polysyndeton
7. Simile
8. Zeugma

The Definitions:

1. Alliteration – repeating initial consonant sounds. They may be juxtaposed, adjacent to each other, or they may be spread out in a sentence or across several sentences.

I Do Not, Rhay Christou – Daughter of the trailer park tramp. Top that one off with a star and a sticker.

Fatal Dreams, Abbie Roads – The days and nights blurred and blended together with no division between them other than the color of the sky. It was an exhausting, endless sort of existence.

2. Allusion -- a quick reference to a famous person or event.

Sixth Grave on the Edge, Darynda Jones  –  What the hell kind of name was Muffy. If I were a prostitute, I’d go for something cool and exotic like Stardust. Or Venus. Or Julia Roberts.

3. Anadiplosis – repeating the last word of one sentence or clause at the beginning of the next sentence or clause, or very near the beginning of the next sentence. The words may be separated by a period or comma or em dash.

Tempt the Devil, Anna Campbell – He was jealous. Jealous of a dead man.

The Last Breath, Kimberly Belle – You’d think that when confronted with concrete evidence of your wife’s infidelity with the next-door neighbor, there’d at least be some screaming. Screaming and cussing and accusations and blame.

4. Anaphora – repeating a word or phrase at beginning of three (or more) successive phrases or sentences.

About a Scandal, Elizabeth Essex – Lady Claire Jellicoe hadn’t thought to protest. She hadn’t thought Lord Peter Rosing would ever do anything untoward. She hadn’t thought someone she’d just met on a ballroom floor could ever wish her irreparable harm.

She simply hadn’t thought.

5. Metaphor – comparing two different things by asserting that one thing is the other or has properties of the other.

When You Are Mine, Kennedy Ryan – She closed her eyes for a few erratic heartbeats, struggling to rein in her body’s response. She was a running engine slowly cooling down.

More Than a Kiss, Brenda Spears – “Don’t you think a dance with Rose would be lovely, Henry?” his mother said, a shepherdess leading her sheep.

6. Polysyndeton – using a conjunction between a series of words in a list of three or more. Think many conjunctions.

King Stud, Liv Rancourt – “C’mere.” Ryan tugged, and instead of backing away, she rocked forward, drawn to him by physics or hormones or old-fashioned need.

7. Simile– comparing two different things that resemble each other.

Sixth Grave on the Edge, Darynda Jones  –  Garrett eased forward as our target closed the door, sealing my fate like a ziplock bag sealed in freshness.

The Sweet Spot, Laura Drake  –  Frozen frame pictures of Jimmy, knocking boots with the little blonde shot through Char’s brain like machine gun fire.

8. Zeugma – last word doesn’t fit the cognitive sequence for two or more items. It’s an idiomatic mismatch. Margie grabbed her purse, her keys, and her steely resolve.

Fatal Dreams, Abbie Roads  – He looked like every other cocky college kid—hair too long, pants too baggy, ego too large. He didn’t look like the leader of a sex gang.

Love all those examples. And they’re all from Margie-Grads.

What do rhetorical devices add to your writing?

Interest and fun and impact and power.

They make your work cadence-driven and make your Cadence Ear happy.

They make your writing fresh and strong and boost you toward bestseller lists.

Check out these examples of rhetorical device combos.

The Last Breath, Kimberly Belle

Anadiplosis and Polysyndeton: You'd think that when confronted with concrete evidence of your wife's infidelity with the next-door neighbor, there's at least be some screaming. Screaming and cussing and accusations and blame.

Beware of Heels, Suzanne Purvis

Anadiplosis and Alliteration: I have a warning voice. A voice that’s a mash up of my mother and the Reverend Hill of The Church of Everlasting Light. The voice screamed leave now.

Simile and Double Alliteration: My heart ticked like a bomb beneath the bones of my ribs. Silent screams stole air from my lungs.

More Than a Kiss, Brenda Spears

Simile and Alliteration:  He put a hand on her shoulder, his heat sinking to her skin as if her clothes did not exist.

Anadiplosis, Anaphora, and Alliteration:  Miss Carew was a woman who could make a man forget. Forget his family. Forget the wars. Perhaps even forget he was the Blind Baron of Shropshire. And while he forgot, she could take advantage of his weaknesses, dupe him, lead him on a merry dance to the altar.

Simile and Metaphor: She tingled as if bergamot were exciting or new. The scent was neither, but on him bergamot suddenly was a pleasure, a thrill, a temptation.

Simile and Alliteration:  Cornwall—the name sliced through Katherine as a claymore would a man on the battlefield.

Broken River: Resurrection, Lindsay Cross

Anaphora and Zeugma:  Rachel’s day started at sunrise and ended after midnight. Feed the chickens. Feed the cows. Feed herself. Then, after five, feed the alcoholics.

Anadiplosis and Anaphora:  Ranger is a man plagued by guilt. Guilt over the death of his best friend in battle. Guilt over being the one who survived. Guilt over loving his best friend's widow.

For Roger, Laura Drake as yet unpubbed WF

Alliteration and Allusion:  “No, but Roger’s daughter makes the pope look downright agnostic.” Great. This woman is pulling me down to her Dante-level of bitchy.

Sweet on You, Laura Drake

Alliteration and Simile:  The two-story stucco buildings may have been handsome, before the bombing. They passed one with a missing front wall, exposing jagged rooms like broken teeth. Between the damage and the dust, the town looked tired, weary of all it had seen.

Days Made of Glass, Laura Drake, as yet unpubbed WF

Simile and Alliteration: Smoke rolled into the sky, spreading over the dairy like an angry fist.

Fused, A Middle Grade Novel, Suzanne Purvis, Immersion-Grad

Simile and Alliteration: Jordan stands super-slow like he’s got time to watch glaciers melt. “Gotta figure out what I’ll do with my prize money.” He superstar-saunters around the cubicles.

Polysynedton and Alliteration: Without weapons or back up or super powers, my strategy is stealth.

Zeugma and Alliteration: I’ve trapped the Frog Farts twenty feet in the air, ten feet from the fence, and fifty miles from their fearlessness.

Anadiplosis, Anaphora, Alliteration: Pops pulls Anastasia to the curb and sounds her ridiculous horn. He opens the passenger side window. “You boys about done?”

Oh, I’m done. Done with Allen. Done with this day. Done with Show Low.

And I smell smoke. Must be the stink of my karma cooking. 

The last set of examples is from smart and fun Immersion Class Members in Washington D.C. area this week.

Tales of the Virgin Vault, Christina Crayn

Alliteration and Anadiplosis: His brilliant blue eyes sparked with promise—a promise of going to bed Christmas Eve knowing Christmas morning would be better than you could possibly imagine—sort of promise.

Imperfect Picture, Jacki Kelly

Alliteration and Anaphora: Her perfect picture life paled. Gone was the glamour. Gone was the dream. Gone was the promise of her perfect future.

Unveiling Love, Vanessa Riley, to be released January 2016

Alliteration and Zeugma: The sultry tone of songstress Cynthia Miller floated in the air, the lyrics haunting, soulful, man-snaring.

A Treasure of Gold, Piper Huguley

Allusion and Alliteration: The huge expended effort seemed reminiscent of Moses parting the Red Sea, but soon they stood in front of her sister's door.

Protective Instinct, Riley Edgewood

Alliteration and Simile:  Last time she'd seen Vaughn, he'd used his vulnerability to draw her in—and then spin her out, flinging her away. This time, he'd been hard as ice with no sign of melting.

Wild Women and the Blues, Denny Bryce

Asyndeton, Metaphor, and Alliteration: The harshness in her voice would’ve surprised him if he hadn’t been looking into her eyes. Hard as metal, determined as time, his mother had been right to make him promise to visit the old woman, but being a good son was a weight, digging into his shoulder with a bucket of bricks called what the hell.

Kudos to those Immersioners, and to all the Margie-Grads referenced in this blog.

Stellar content. Stellar cadence. Stellar writing. 

Rhetorical devices have two more superpowers!

1. They share backstory.

The Woods, Harlan Coben

I’ve never seen my father cry before, not when his own father died, not when my mother ran off and left us, not even when he heard about my sister, Camille.

Brilliant!  Four hits of backstory in one cadence-driven sentence. 

2. They compress time.

To the Power of Three, Laura Lippman 

We go to lunch, the waitresses swirl around him, offering seconds and specials and thises and thats.

You need these superpowers! Learn 20+ rhetorical devices, and use them in your WIP.

Don’t miss opportunities to use rhetorical style and structure to make your writing award-winning strong. 

If you’re interested in learning more rhetorical devices, and how to use them, check out my Deep Editing, Rhetorical Devices, and More lecture packet. www.margielawson.com

BLOG GUESTS:  It’s your turn.

If you like, post a rhetorical device. Post a comment and you have TWO CHANCES to WIN!

1. Lecture Packet from Margie Lawson
2. An online course from Lawson Writer’s Academy – worth up to $75!

Check out the courses offered by Lawson Writer's Academy in January:

1. Getting Serious About Writing a Series
2. Power Up Your Setting!
3. Empowering Characters’ Emotions
4. Madness to Method: Using Acting Techniques to Make Each Moment Oscar Worthy

The drawings will be Sunday, 9:00 p.m. Mountain Time. See you on the blog!

All smiles................Margie

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About Margie

Margie Lawson—editor, international presenter—teaches writers how to use her psychologically-based editing systems and deep editing techniques to create page turners. Margie has presented over ninety full day master classes for writers in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.

To learn about Lawson Writer’s Academy, Margie’s 4-day Immersion Master Classes (in Denver, Washington, D.C., Phoenix, Canyon Lake, Dallas, San Jose, Melbourne, Australia, and more), her full day Master Class presentations, on-line courses, lecture packets, and newsletter, please visit www.MargieLawson.com.

Kimberly Brock

Why some of the best things in a writer’s life depend on leaving your chair

At least a thousand times a year I find myself coming across that meme other writers are constantly touting – Butt in Chair. Yeah. That.

And I AM sitting here with said butt, in said chair. I do that. I do it more than I should. Take a look at me and you’ll see I could probably use a little less of the chair. But that’s not my point today. Instead, I want to talk about what happens to a writer when the butt is in the chair and…in the chair…and in the chair. When your whole world is in the chair.

Because, the truth is, it’s not. It can’t be.

If your whole world exists in your writer’s chair, you are missing some of the best parts of a writer’s life. How do I know this? Because I am an admitted extreme introvert with a great love for my chair and I learned today’s lesson the hard way. Let me give you a peek at me.

A writer works tirelessly on her novel. She trudges from her bed, downs her coffee, settles in at her laptop and focuses all her energy on building worlds and conveying themes and shaping characters with heart. She is passionate and determined. She publishes. She markets. She promotes others. She starts work on the next novel. Rinse and repeat.

What’s wrong with that? This is the picture of success for an aspiring writer! Publication! Contracts! Butt in Chair paid off! If that’s what you think, you’d be right. If ALL you want is to be is published. And you may hold out like this for a good long while. You may think this is the pinnacle of the writer’s life. I did. I was happy enough. Until, I wasn’t. Like most writer’s, it wasn’t long before I found I wanted more. Sure, I’d published. Sure, I had good reviews. Sure, I was visiting book clubs and speaking at luncheons and every morning, I worked tirelessly on my next novel, downing my coffee, face down in my own words. Until, one day, the inevitable happened.

I looked up.

Now, I could say the whole world had collapsed in my absence, but that would be a lie. No, the truth is the exact opposite. The whole world…had not even skipped a beat. It had rolled on without me. It did not even take notice of all the energy and time and slogging down the stairs and coffee and angst over the page. Honey, I was a veritable Rip Van Winkle, is what. Stumbling away from that beloved chair, I wondered at the changes that had taken place while I was suspended in my imaginings.

Because the truth is, the writer’s life can be a fugue state. If you don’t know what a fugue state is, let me explain.

The fugue state is one of a number of dissociative memory disorders, all of which are characterized by an interruption of, or dissociation from, fundamental aspects of one’s everyday life, such as personal identity and personal history. During the fugue state – which can last several hours or a few months – an individual forgets who they are and takes leave of his or her usual physical surroundings. Upon emerging from the fugue state, the individual is usually surprised to find themselves in unfamiliar surroundings.

Yep, a mental disorder, folks. That’s what writing with your head down can amount to over time. Sometimes, I’d argue, it must amount to something very closely resembling this nutso state, but there’s that part at the end of the paragraph. Did you miss it? Upon emerging. It’s the emerging that matters.

And so, I say, Writers! You MUST emerge!

And as you blink at me like moles, I’d like to make a few suggestions for all us poor, successful, hard-driving head cases.

• Go to the library and introduce yourself. Offer to do a reading or teach a workshop.

And go one further and bring the names and contact information of other authors to help your local library build better programs for your community. Do it for free. The library will often allow authors to sell books, but we all know you’re not going to make a living that way, so don’t die on that hill. Let this be about building something ON the hill.

• Go to art shows and fairs. Introduce yourself to local artists of all shapes and sizes. Plan a cooperative event.

When you broaden your horizons and celebrate all the ways we can inspire one another creatively, you are going to create some wonderful energy that will fuel your ambitions.

• Practice other arts. Pick up a paint brush. Join a choir. Take up ballroom dancing.

Expression begets expression. And none of it could hurt your chair-shaped butt, either.

• Read to children at daycares or hospital settings, and seniors, too. Not your own work. Read classics and picture books and gardening magazines and historical nonfiction.

Part of emerging is that you will find yourself also engaging again, becoming part of the world at large. For me, that part sometimes feels awkward and exhausting. Having a job helps guide me.

 

This past weekend, I saw some of my own efforts in these regards come to fruition. One day almost a year ago, I left my chair. A conversation over coffee with a wonderful community builder in my city, led to months of planning and hard work and a committee of book lovers who made our first literary festival a reality. All day, I watched the people - the writers, presenting lively panels and workshops, the tents full of student volunteers with baked goods, the eager readers buying up books and chatting with their favorite authors. And I knew that’s what I wanted to share with you today, to remind you of the reach of story within us all.

Can you even imagine a creative life, sustaining and fulfilling as well as successful? Go ahead. Look up. See what your writer’s life has to offer beyond the chair. In the end, here’s my two cents, from one introvert to all y'all - isolation may be necessary for producing pages, but community is necessary for a healthy creative spirit.

What’s stopping you from emerging? What might happen if you took the chance and introduced yourself, suggested events, made connections in your community with the love of story? In what ways could you emerge as an author away from your chair? How might emerging and engaging effect yours and the lives around you?

About Kimberly

Kimberly Brock is the award winning author of the #1 Amazon bestseller, THE RIVER WITCH (Bell Bridge Books, 2012). A former actor and special needs educator, Kimberly is the recipient of the Georgia Author of the Year 2013 Award. A literary work reminiscent of celebrated southern author Carson McCullers, THE RIVER WITCH has been chosen by two national book clubs.

Kimberly’s writing has appeared in anthologies, blogs and magazines, including Writer Unboxed and Psychology Today. Kimberly served as the Blog Network Coordinator for She Reads, a national online book club from 2012 to 2014, actively spearheading several women’s literacy efforts. She lectures and leads workshops on the inherent power in telling our stories and is founder of Tinderbox Writer’s Workshop. She is also owner of Kimberly Brock Pilates.

She lives in the foothills of north Atlanta with her husband and three children, where she is at work on her next novel. Visit her website at kimberlybrockbooks.com for more information and to find her blog.

Susan Spann

Happy Thanksgiving! (A little early…but turkey and good cheer are always in season.)

Last month, my #PubLaw guest post here at Writers in the Storm looked at grants of rights in anthology contracts. Today, we continue the autumn series on writing for anthologies with a look at how copyright functions in the anthology setting.

Anthology writing differs from other forms of publication, and though the contracts look similar, authors must be aware of some critical differences between anthology contracts and standard traditional contracts for book or novella-length works for a single author.

Anthology contracts should contain at least two clear statements of copyright:

1. A declaration that copyright in the author's work remains the sole property of the contributing author; and

A declaration that the copyright in the anthology "as a collective work" belongs to the anthology publisher.

 

Let's look at them in more detail:

1. The Author's Retention of Copyright.

The anthology contract should contain the following statement (or its equivalent): "Author is the sole copyright owner of the Work, and retains all rights to the Work except for those expressly granted to [Anthology Publisher] in this Agreement."

(Note: The “Work” should be defined as the author’s own contribution, not the anthology as a whole.)

This ensures that the author continues to be the sole owner of his or her story, even after its publication in the anthology. The contract should also mention any limitations on the author's right to publish the story elsewhere (the topic of next month’s post).

2. Anthology Copyright in the Publisher.

The anthology contract will probably also contain a statement similar to:

"To the extent a separate copyright attaches to the Anthology as a collective work, [Anthology Publisher] is the copyright owner of any such copyright on the Anthology as a collective work."

The reason for this second clause is to ensure that no one else can infringe the publisher's copyright by reproducing or publishing "pirated" (i.e., infringing) copies of the anthology without permission. A statement of the publisher's ownership in the collective work gives the publisher the sole right to produce that collective work. The copyright in the work as a collective work is not the same thing as the copyright on the individual stories, however, and you should never give the anthology publisher ownership of the copyright in your work or contribution.

To repeat: The publisher doesn't need to own the copyright in your work in order to publish the work as part of an anthology or other collection.

You may ask the publisher to add this language, too:

"provided that no collective work copyright will limit or prevent Author's rights to exploit, publish, and profit from the Work separately from or in addition to the Anthology except to the limited extent provided in this Agreement."

That language isn't absolutely required, but it's something you could request if the contract seems ambiguous about copyrights, or if you don't know the publisher well.

A Word About Copyright Registration

Publishers often want to register copyright on an anthology as a collective work. That's OK, as long as the registration is clear that you, the author, own the copyright in your contribution. Make sure the contract is clear about the manner in which copyright may (and may not) be registered, and states that:

(a)      The publisher will include an appropriate notice on the verso page (commonly known as the "copyright page") of the anthology, properly identifying the contributors as the owners of the copyrighted material contained in the work; and

(b)      If the publisher registers copyright with the U.S. Copyright Office, that registration will cover the collective work only, and will acknowledge the author(s) as the copyright owner(s) of the contributed works.

 

A little attention to detail can help protect your copyrights and ensure a more successful anthology experience.

 

Have you published in anthologies? How did you handle your copyrights?

 

Susan Spann writes the Shinobi Mysteries, featuring ninja detective Hiro Hattori and his Portuguese Jesuit sidekick, Father Mateo. Her debut novel, CLAWS OF THE CAT (Minotaur Books, 2013), was a Library Journal Mystery Debut of the Month and a finalist for the Silver Falchion Award for Best First Novel. The fourth Shinobi Mystery will release from Seventh Street Books in July 2016. Susan is the Rocky Mountain Fiction Writers’ 2015 Writer of the Year, and also a transactional attorney whose practice focuses on publishing law and business. When not writing or practicing law, she raises seahorses and rare corals in her marine aquarium. Find her online at http://www.SusanSpann.com, on Twitter (@SusanSpann), and on Facebook (SusanSpannAuthor).