Writers in the Storm

by Jessica Strawser

I’ve had a lot of babies in the past few years. Two of them are novels (one out on submission with my agent, the other in late revision stages). Dozens of them are magazines I’ve put my heart into at my day job as editor of Writer’s Digest. And two of them are actual children.

Suffice it to say that—with a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old at home on top of a full-time editorial career and a nightly writing regimen—I’ve had some experience with writing in the storm, as the creators of this blog so aptly put it.

We writers are fond of metaphors, and I’ve often heard comparisons drawn between the process of writing and publishing a book and that of giving birth to a child. We often talk about our “writing life” as if it’s something that exists apart from “regular life,” but let’s face it: Any parent can attest that once you have children, they’re a part of everything you do. And while we are focused on teaching them the ways of the world, sometimes they have a way of turning the tables and teaching us a thing or two instead.

Here are five of my favorite lessons from my parenting life that I’ve discovered apply equally well in my writing life—and perhaps yours, too.

1. Arm yourself with as much info as you can, while recognizing that you’re going to have to learn as you go.

When you have a baby on the way, you do your homework. You read What to Expect When You’re Expecting and Happiest Baby on the Block and every blog you can find. You closely observe other parents in action, admiring how they know exactly what needs to be stocked in that diaper bag. You arm yourself with knowledge and as much confidence as you can muster. But on the day you leave the hospital with a newborn in your arms, all that studying will only get you so far. It’s trial by fire; learn as you go.

When you want to write a novel (or essays, or poems, or whatever your goal is), you begin the same way. You read books and magazines and blogs on the craft (might I insert a shameless plug for Writer’s Digest here?). You read works by authors you admire. This is a necessary and important step, and one (this is key!) that you can return to any time you need to, as new challenges arise. But all the reading in the world isn’t going to fill up the blank pages for you. Get the information you can, stock your bookshelf with resources you can turn to when you need them, and then get to practicing your craft.

2. Trust yourself, even when you feel like you don’t know what you’re doing.

My parents live out of state. They came to help out for a few days after my first child was born, and as they were leaving to head home, my mom turned to me. “I’m going to tell you what my mom told me,” she said. “Remember that you are the expert on this baby now.” I laughed. I’d been a mom for only a few days, most of which I’d spent on my back recovering from an unexpected C-section. My baby was a miraculous, tiny stranger to me. I was hardly an expert on what to do with him.

But I came to learn exactly what she meant. Pediatricians and daycare personnel might be experts on babies in general, but nobody knows your baby like you do. You are the one spending 24 hours a day observing this creature; you are the one who soon knows her mannerisms and quirks as well as your own. You’ll be the first to recognize when something is not quite right, or when a new milestone has been reached. And since your baby can’t speak for herself, that job falls to you.

So it is with your manuscript. You can get feedback from skilled critique partners, agents and editors, all of them experts on the craft of writing—but only you know the heart of your story, where it’s been, what low points and high points it’s struggled through and celebrated, and where you want it to go. You have to distill all the well-meaning advice and feedback you receive into what’s best for your particular characters, plot, themes. And if you don’t speak up for your story, no one will.

3. Allow your muse the opportunity to calm itself.

For the first few months of a baby’s life, he needs to know you’re there, to develop a trust and a bond. He cries and you come running. But after several months of this, my son and I entered an exhausting cycle. I would rock him, he would fall asleep, I would lay him in the crib, he would wake the second his head hit the mattress, he would cry, I would pick him back up, I would rock him, he would fall asleep, I would lay him in the crib, he would wake the second his head hit the mattress. … Finally, our pediatrician said it was time to let him “cry it out” and learn to soothe himself, or neither of us would get any sleep.

An elaborate plan was established that involved me laying him in the crib, leaving the room, letting him cry for 3 minutes, going back in to comfort him, leaving and letting him cry for 5 minutes, going back in to comfort him, leaving and letting him cry for 7 minutes, going back in to comfort him—extending the waiting period each time until he had finally exhausted himself and fallen asleep. I was nervous. But I was ready. I had the stopwatch set on my cell phone. I had baskets of laundry lined up for folding, to keep my hands busy instead of wringing in anxiety. I created a music playlist to keep my spirits up so the crying wouldn’t drive me mad. My husband was on standby to take shifts.

We put the plan into action. My son cried for 30 seconds and fell asleep. We stood in the silent hallway outside his room, flabbergasted.

I had never even let him cry for 30 seconds.

I felt a bit foolish.

If you get to a place where you are struggling mightily with something in your story, sometimes you need to give your muse a chance to calm itself. What might happen if you exit the cycle of whatever is frustrating you and simply step away?

4. Resist the urge to compare yourself to others.

Some babies walk at 10 months. Some at a year. Some at 18 months. New parents are constantly cautioned that there is a wide range of “normal” and that comparing your child to others only puts more pressure on everyone involved.

Some authors publish their first novel and hit The New York Times bestsellers list. Others get an agent but never get published. Some break in but spend their entire careers on the mid-list. Some decide to self-publish and laugh all the way to the bank. Some decide to self-publish and go broke.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my time at the helm of WD, it’s that no two writing careers are alike. Comparison can breed envy and smugness, equally dangerous. Resist the urge. No good will come of it.

5. What your writing is today is not necessarily what it will be tomorrow.

One day, your baby stays exactly where you put her. Then suddenly, she can crawl, even cruise behind a push toy. Then you’re chasing her up the stairs, around the yard, following her tricycle down the driveway. You look back with wonder at how far you’ve both come. The days seemed so long, at the time—has it really been a year? You learn that when your child starts getting clingy or whiny or experimenting with how loud she can scream, that doesn’t mean it’s a new personality trait—it’s just a phase.

What your writing is today is not necessarily what it will be a month from now, or six months, or a year. It will grow and change. You will reach milestones, both in your craft and your career. So on the rough days, tell yourself that it’s just a phase. And even when it gets rough, don’t wish it away. One day you’ll look back at these sleepless nights and tentative first steps and marvel at how far you’ve come.

So what about you: What does your personal storm that you're writing in look like? And what lessons has it taught you that apply to your own writing—and might help others, too? 

About Jessica

Jessica Strawser is the editor of Writer's Digest magazine. She has contributed to a smattering of blogs and publications, most recently The New York Times' Modern Love column. She blogs weekly at WD’s There Are No Rules and tweets about writing @jessicastrawser.

 

by Maggie Marr

This October will be the 10th anniversary of the sale of my first two books to Random House. At the time my books sold, I was still working as a subsidiary rights and motion picture agent at ICM and I was unaware of just how hazardous the career of writer could be to my health.

With the birth of kidlet 2 in 2006, the pounds I'd dutifully lost through Weight Watchers after kidlet 1 didn't slide off as easily...or let's be honest...I wasn't as diligent in removing those pounds. In the midst of two children and diapers and breast-feeding and book deadlines and pre-school and sleepless nights and teething and [name all the things that come with toddlers] I lost sight of my health and my eating and any activity that wasn't about corralling two young children.

For years, I lost sight of my health.

Fast-forward to 2014—yes 2014. Of course, on occasion during those 8 years, I attempted to 'get healthy', but there was always some deadline looming, or event pending, or client in need, which allowed me to shove to the bottom of my list all things that had to do with my health. Let's be clear—I've never been a physically active person. I do not crave the hike, the run, the swim. I don't want to eat the carrot, the broccoli, the quinioa. Give me a book, a glass of red wine, a baguette, and some brie and I am happy. To, me, sitting and reading and eating is the perfect day, but not so perfect for my health.

In 2014, at a writers conference I was walking to an event with a number of other writers. The writer beside me was huffing and puffing and I was huffing and puffing and I was struck with just how unhealthy I'd allowed myself to become.

My weight was pushing 187, my bloodwork, that I'd soon have done, would indicate too much cholesterol and some scary pre-diabetic numbers. I didn't walk, swim, run, or exercise on a regular basis, my body ached and hurt, my diet included anything I wanted at anytime, and now I had fear over my health as a companion.

Our job as a writer can kill. Every study indicates that a sedentary lifestyle is a deadly lifestyle. A recent study found that to be healthy, as we age, we should exercise aerobically for 45 minutes 6 days a week. With my career as writer and attorney, it wasn't uncommon for me to sit at my computer for 8 hours with only the occasional bathroom break as exercise.

After the huffing and puffing episode, I realized if I wanted to live a long life I had to change my habits.

For the first time in my life exercise and diet weren't about ego, they were about staying alive. I wasn't trying to get back to my law school weight of 118 so that I could look H-O-T in a pair of skinny jeans (those days had long passed). No, I needed to exercise and change my diet so that I might live to write all the stories bouncing around in my head. I wanted to live to attend the kidlets' graduations and weddings and the births of all the grand-kidlets.

Alone I am weak, but with my writer-friends I am strong, thus the #healthywriter hashtag was born. The use of social media to keep myself honest. Many of my writer friends fight this same #healthywriter battle. The battle to stay healthy and write. The battle to get my ass, (that I fight to plant in the chair to write) up and out of the chair to move. To reach for the carrot sticks instead of the chocolate. To acknowledge that while the french fries may dull the pain for a brief while, they do not fix the problem.

The #healthywriter journey is similar to the 'finish the damn book journey'. I've had some brilliant moments, some shocking realizations, a number of personal defeats, and a constant nagging voice urging me to stop.

I've used many of the same tools in trying to be a #healthywriter that I've honed completing 14 books.

• Much like my writing career, on my #healthywriter journey, I create goals and check-in with those goals.
• Each day I log my minutes/miles of exercise.
• Once a week I take stock of my success by hopping on the scale.
• I keep track of what I eat on fitness pal.
• I've found a number of writer pals to 'check-in' with, as I often did when writing my first couple of books.

As in writing, with trying to get healthy there are setbacks. Many, many setbacks. The holidays...oh the holidays. I was pleased to just maintain my weight during the holidays and that was while exercising daily. Also, the weight slides off oh-so-slowly. I remember being a 20-something and I could exercise for a week, eat salads, and drop an easy five pounds. Those days are gone. Now, at 40-something, with exercise nearly every day and a healthy diet, I am pleased if I see any movement downward on the scale. A great week is a loss of a half pound. A HALF POUND.

The weeks when the scale doesn't move or even goes up are torture. I liken the emotions in that moment to how I feel when I receive a rejection letter or a pass. The scale is rejecting my hard work and my reaction can, at times, be just as emotional. I get off the scale, and in that moment of rejection I have two choices, I can go and do a faceplant in a bag of chips, which will only create more rejection the next week or I can soldier onward.

In writing, when faced with rejection, this is an easy choice—I won't stop writing. I can't stop writing. Writing, for me, is like showering and when I stop, I get funky and smell bad. Getting healthy is similar. I can pause, I can eat the chips, bread, cheese, dip, ice cream, [insert your favorite bad-for-you-food] but that momentary food-high isn't going to 'fix' the problem on the scale. Sure, the food will dull my pain for a while, but the challenge of blood work and pounds will still be present in my life, and if I eat enough chips, the pounds will bring friends for next week.

In this conflicted emotional state, when the scale has rejected my effort, I struggle to not self-sooth with food. Food is my drug of choice, and food most-definitely numbs the pain...momentarily.

It is in these moments that I am trying to reframe. Replace the old habit of self-soothing with food with a new habit that is built on self-love. I've discovered that  sitting down with a book or meditating for ten minutes or simply going outside into the garden can get me past the need for brie. Not always, but sometimes.

My #healthywriter journey continues.

Lately my #healthywriter good-habits have been lax. The end of March, I finished the 21-day junk food challenge and then became less-than diligent about my eating. I recently recommitted to my healthy eating. I continue to walk, almost daily. I've also re-started T-25 on the days that I just can't get my walk accomplished.

Is this new lifestyle easy? No, and again #healthywriter is a lot like writing. Writing my 15th book isn't easy. Writing a book, I don't believe, will ever be easy, but I now have a number of tools to get me past the rough patches. I know myself as a writer, and the spots where I struggle and the bad-habits in my writing of which I need to be aware.

The longer I walk the #healthywriter path, the more this lifestyle becomes like writing, in that I know my trigger emotions, what foods I crave, what will happen if I don't get enough sleep or exercise of self-care. With each day on my #healthywriter journey, I become stronger and better equipped to take on the next #healthywriter challenge.

How does your career choice challenge your health? What #healthywriter habits do you want to put in place?

*  *  *  *  *  *

About Maggie

Maggie Marr is an author, attorney, and producer. She is the author of the best-selling Hollywood Girls Club Series, The Glamour Series, The Eligible Billionaires Series, and The Powder Springs Series. She maintains a small legal practice dedicated to entreprenures and artists.

Maggie has been reviewed by Kirkus, Publishers Weekly, and featured on KCRW's The Business. You can follow her #healthywriter struggles and successes on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

Sierra Godfrey

Recently, I saw a question raised about promotional items for authors: “How on earth do I go about getting them done?”

The question was raised over on the highly popular new Facebook group for the Womens’ Fiction Writers Association (WFWA), and there were a lot of great answers. Now, full disclosure: I am a graphic designer as well as purveyor of words, and I create promotional material for authors like bookmarks and postcards as well as websites. But I also have a prior life as a marketing and tradeshow manager, and promotional items was one of my responsibilities. So I’m here to share some knowledge.

First, there are two ways I would recommend you approach promotional materials:

1. Everything you do says something about you. Be it your website URL (www.yournamelolololololz.com does not exactly impart a sense of professionalism) or how and what you present at book signings and book fairs, everything has meaning. Your readers will glean that meaning, so do it with intention and do it professionally.
2. The best way to approach promotional materials is to think about how they’ll be used. This rule of thumb pretty much goes for anything in industry, and yet is often ignored. Sure, high glossy posters of your book cover look great, but what will your readers do with them?

Now let’s discuss a few of the biggie promotional items.

Print swag

Print swag is typically bookmarks, book plates, stickers, and postcards. Another really fun item I’ve been doing for a lot of my YA and MG author clients is trading cards, which lend themselves well to series.

So how do you get these things? Likely, you’re going to have to hire a designer (like me!). But you’re not going to pay big agency fees (and if anyone quotes you thousands, run!). You’ll get a reasonable package, and in turn you’ll get a design that typically will encompass your book’s font, images, and high-res icons, and it will be done properly in Adobe Illustrator or Photoshop. (And if they aren’t, question that!)

Any designer you work with should have a good understanding of both what readers want and an author’s promotional needs---as well as brand and usability. For example, what kind of finish will support ball point pens or sharpies for book signings? Does the designer understand what brand is and what that means to an author, and can the designer suggest ways in which to promote and emphasize your brand? Does your designer want you to step outside your comfort box or does the designer respect your book and its cover as they relate to you as a long-term author? These are all important questions.

Printers

In most cases, getting your items designed and printed are two separate endeavors, so you’ll need to know about printers. Vista Print is an all-time favorite for being inexpensive, but they don’t print bookmarks or stickers. However, there are two excellent online alternatives: Gotprint.net and Printrunner. Both are reasonably priced and my clients have been very happy with the quality from both. Got Print offers templates for designers for each one of their products, however, and that is key (Print Runner requires an account for templates). With templates, you can be assured that your designer will be able to design exactly to print specifications.

Promotional items for book fairs and signings

In my days as a tradeshow manager in a technical industry, there were four things that stood out in a sea of booths from companies all trying to do the same thing—apart from having a good product:

• something moving
• candy in a bowl
• flowers or plants
• a really good giveaway item

Chances are, something moving, such as a machine or a TV, isn’t going to be possible for you, so let’s ditch that.

Get candy in a bowl; people will flock. And listen. Get chocolate. CHOCOLATE. Not cheap, hard candies. Remember what I said about everything having meaning? Cheap hard candy says you’re cheap. And with flowers, they’re also easy and frequently overlooked. Flowers say you care about looking nice, it says you’ve taken the time to get what is essentially a frivolous item and put it out there for people to enjoy. Don’t get a potted plant or even a pretty bouquet. They block your head in your booth. Orchids. Orchids, people. They are pretty, and you can see around them.

Now for the fun one: giveaway items. Good giveaway items are something cute that tie in with the book. The stuff that gets lost or tossed? Pens, pencils, clips, and any kind of paper item. That’s right—bookmarks and postcards aren’t going to be as useful for book fairs.

Your goals with a promotional item are to:

• Make sure the reader will take it home
• Make sure your name and your website is on it

Those two goals are paramount because you will struggle to make sure your name is noticed in a sea of authors. Notice I didn’t say your book’s title should be on there—nope. Your name. People will remember you—you might write a bunch of books.

You might be thinking, dude, I don’t have the money for printed promotional items! I’m a poor author!

Don’t worry. You can get away with pre-printed tags on a cute item, but it requires a bit of creativity. Pinterest is a mine of such things. Try searching for “author swag” or even “Teacher Appreciation Gifts” – there are a TON of ideas for teacher appreciation gifts that have cute tie-ins and will get your creative wheels turning.

Focus on anything that relates to your book or book cover. For example, Sarah Addison Allen’s First Frost. Check out that frosted apple on the cover. You could buy a fake apple at Michael’s and glue a few beads on it, or spray a blast of frost paint over the top and tie a ribbon with a tag that has your book’s name. Now, that’s not THAT useful, but you could also give real apples with a tag. Wouldn’t that be totally stinkin’ cute?

For another example, I chose one of WITS’ own, Laura Drake. For her book The Sweet Spot, there are lots of possibilities here. A small square of flannel folded over a little bag of candy—to hit your sweet spot?

You get the picture. There are lots of things you can do.

If you’re not crafty, consider something inexpensive like a carabiner with your website printed on it, or a magnet.

In my tradeshow days, often companies would have a really good promotional gift—something expensive—on hand for the extra-special customers. You could do that, too—a book light, perhaps? Only have one or two; reserve them for a drawing prize or have people play a game to win it.

Just make sure your name and website are on it!

How about you? Have you done any different promotional items? Do you have any lessons from the trenches on this?

About Sierra

Sierra Godfrey writes fiction with international settings and always a mention of football (soccer) or two. She is a member of the Women’s Fiction Writers Association and a quarterly contributor to the Writers in the Storm. Her non-fiction essays have been featured on Maria Shriver’s Shriver Report and Architects of Change website, and in the anthology, Nothing But The Truth So Help Me God: 73 Women on Life’s Transitions (Nothing But the Truth Press, 2014). She writes weekly for Football.com and other blogs, and is also a freelance graphic designer. She lives in the foggy wastelands of the San Francisco Bay Area with her family.

Come visit her at www.sierragodfrey.com or talk with her on Twitter @sierragodfrey.