Writers in the Storm

by Susan Squires

The road to writing a successful romance always leads through good sexual tension. It doesn’t matter whether your characters are having actual sex every other scene, or indulge in nothing more than a chaste kiss during the course of the story. In romance, sexual tension is the name of the game. But in many books I’ve been reading recently, the sexual tension has seemed a little flat, so I’ve been doing some thinking about what makes good sexual tension. I think there are about six secrets.

1. Pulling your characters together sexually can start with physical attraction.

Remember the movie The Ugly Truth? It’s a guilty pleasure of mine. Gerard Butler’s character, a crass male talk show host, says, “ThighMaster, ladies. He can’t fall in love with your personality from across the room.” Fair enough. Physical characteristics attract. But how? Through the effect those physical characteristics have on your hero’s or heroine’s imagination and their psyche. So noticing physical details about each other is very important. It’s also a great way to get in a description of your characters, by the way.

The very act of paying very close attention is in itself a way to display sexual tension, especially if your character notices things about the object of their attentions that others might not see.

2. The physical traits characters notice about each other must be particular.

Just having your heroine think, “That’s the most handsome man I’ve ever met,” is not very effective at evoking sexual tension. Why? Because it’s a generic statement. When the heroine notices something particular, your tension is much more effective.

You know the concept of describing your setting with “telling detail?”

That means choosing details that will serve your story or your characters. The same thing is true of what your character notices about the object of attention. I happen to be partial to strong forearms and the vulnerable nape of the neck, but you’ll have your own favorites.

If the detail can tell you something about the character being described or the character doing the describing, so much the better. “Sure, his eyes were a gorgeous blue, but their expression was guarded somehow,” or “but a sadness lurked there that spoke of tragedy in his life.” Not great prose, but you get the idea.

Don’t: use clichés to describe your object of sexual attention. If I see one more description of a hero’s cheekbones or nose as anything related to a “blade,” I swear I will scream. Ditto for the heroine’s blond hair likened to any kind of a coin (especially in historicals.)

Don’t: describe your hero (or your heroine) by relating him (or her) to a current movie star. Using pictures to inspire you is fine. They stand still so you can think about how to describe that particular set of mouth or shape of eyes. But don’t name names or make the description too recognizable. Your movie star is going to get older or fall out of fashion. What if he turns out to be an alcoholic, or dumps America’s Sweetheart, or has a meltdown on Jimmy Kimmel Live? You want your book to be timeless.

3. Concentrate on the effects of physical attraction.

Never tell the reader the character is “hot.” Remember all that stuff about showing being more effective than telling. Plus, it’s a generic not a particular observation. Instead, show that a guy or girl is hot by the reactions of the observer of the “hotness.” Both physical and mental reactions include, flushing, feeling faint, sensations in parts of your body, an inability to speak, a stutter, or talking obsessively. Characters who are sexually attracted either 1) make up excuses to touch each other in casual interaction or 2) wouldn’t touch the other person on a bet because they’re afraid they might lose control. Either way, small intimacies, or the opportunity for same that aren’t taken, are ideal opportunities to show sexual tension.

The level of sensuality in your novel will dictate what the characters notice about each other. In a sweet romance, the heroine probably wouldn’t notice the bulge in the hero’s jeans and wonder how big he was in that department. If she did notice a “growing attraction” on the hero’s part, her mental reaction would be embarrassment, not, “Bring that on, honey.” In an erotic romance, however, all is fair. Your sexual tension details must fit the situation.

4. It doesn’t end with physical attraction.

I’ve seen a lot of “he has a cute butt,” in romances recently. That’s okay as far as it goes (though a bit of a cliché at this point). But there had better be more than physical attraction fast. Would we really want to spend time with a heroine who only thought about cute butts? Would we feel that such a relationship had much of a chance long term? What would happen when the heroine notices an even cuter butt?

Fortunately, people are also powerfully attracted by things they have in common, differences that fascinate, observations about the other’s character traits, interest in their history, etc. This is what shows us the characters are right for each other, even if they don’t think so. And these are the long-term attractors, the ones that make us believe they can stay together as a couple. Showing these things about your characters, not in an info dump or by telling us about them, but by constructing your scenes and incidents to show them, is a great way to create a force pulling the characters together mentally and emotionally. (Though please, no more hero saving a puppy scenes. See above, screaming.)

5. Pull them apart.

Tension means opposing forces pulling in opposite directions. So you have no tension if there aren’t things that pull your characters apart sexually as well as pull them together. Sexual tension is part of a dance, as readers watch the characters twirl together, twirl apart, coming ever closer until the relationship is resolved. Many books I’ve read recently start with characters that are very attracted to each other for reasons the reader doesn’t really understand. The ending seems inevitable and any barriers artificial.

So, carefully construct reasons why the characters won’t get together immediately. (If this is an erotic romance, they may actually have sex right away, but they still need something to pull them apart or the story is over, the tension released.)

Know their sexual and relationship histories—it’s often useful for pulling characters apart. Are there social pressures acting as barriers? What fears and internal resistors make getting together difficult? What internal dialogue are the characters having with themselves about their attraction? Why is this absolutely the wrong character, the wrong time, or the wrong circumstance for sexual attraction? Denial of a feeling can be as important a confirmation as giving in to it. Restraint, hard won, carries a lot of sexual tension. And it all happens in the character’s head.

6. Point of view is key.

If sexual tension happens in your head, then voice and maintaining a specific POV are essential. Obviously, your hero and your heroine have a very different slant on what’s happening, if for no other reason than that they are male and female. Getting that right can make your hero sound like a real guy, not a girl in drag. (Hint: he might not go on about his feelings at length and in great detail.) But the character’s individualized values, experience, fears, vulnerabilities and the walls they’ve built to make them seem invincible, all contribute in a very particular way to how they approach the opposite sex. By making that approach individual, you make your sexual tension feel real, compelling.

I think my favorite scenes in any romance are the “getting to know you” scenes: the surprises, the excitement, but also the reluctance and dismay. Like many readers, they’re the reason I want to take the journey over and over again. You want them to seem natural, like what would happen with real people. The way to do that takes some planning, and getting inside their head. But don’t worry, you can keep layering in more sexual tension in each draft. It’s worth the time and effort. Now, can you imagine how this might be applied to actual sex scenes?

Oh, yeah.

What are some of your 'go to' tricks to increase sexual tension?

About Susan

Susan Squires is New York Times bestselling author known for breaking the rules of romance writing. She has won multiple contests for published novels and reviewer’s choice awards. Publisher’s Weekly named Body Electric one of the most influential mass market books of 2003 and One with the Shadows, the fifth in her vampire Companion Series, a Best book of 2007.

Susan's latest book, a novella called Your Magic Touch (part of the Children of Merlin series), released last month. All of her books are available at Amazon and other booksellers.

Susan has a Masters in English literature from UCLA and once toiled as an executive for a Fortune 500 company. Now she lives at the beach in Southern California with her husband, Harry, a writer of supernatural thrillers, and three very active Belgian Sheepdogs, who like to help by putting their chins on the keyboarddddddddddddddddd.

 The lucky winner of Margie Lawson's online class is:  Ingrid Fletcher!

 You know I’m the cheerleader of the WITS bunch, right? I’m the old lady jumping up and down on the sidelines in a too-short skirt so tight that the zipper won’t go up all the way, yelling my head off, telling writers they can DO this!

Anyone who follows me on Twitter knows that every morning I post two quotes. The first is a cowboy quote. Cute, clever, common-sense, down-home advice, like:

“Remember to load your brain before you shoot your mouth off.”

Or, “Worry is like a rocking horse. It's something to do that doesn't get you anywhere.”

The second quote is about writing. I began a file years ago, to give me inspiration when I needed it, and then decided to share – after all, all those who toil alone, wrangling thoughts into words  need inspiration.

Lately, as my deadline draws near, and the end of my WIP does not, I’ve been reaching for inspiration (along with coffee, wine and therapy). The below quotes are for you.

GOOOoooooo Writers!

“The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress.”
—Philip Roth

“Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.”
—George Orwell

“We are all apprentices in a craft where no one ever becomes a master.”
—Ernest Hemingway

“Making people believe the unbelievable is no trick; it’s work. … Belief and reader absorption come in the details: An overturned tricycle in the gutter of an abandoned neighborhood can stand for everything.”
—Stephen King

“I don’t need an alarm clock. My ideas wake me.”
—Ray Bradbury

“Let the world burn through you. Throw the prism light, white hot, on paper.”
—Ray Bradbury

“There is only one plot—things are not what they seem.”
—Jim Thompson

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is … the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”
—Mark Twain

A professional writer is an amateur who didn’t quit. ~Richard Bach

I write when I’m inspired, and I see to it that I’m inspired at nine o’clock every morning. ~P eter De Vries

Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. ~ Anton Chekhov

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. ~William Wordsworth

I often joke that I keep going until I get a yes or a restraining order. Steven Pressfield

Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia.  ~E.L. Doctorow
What I like in a good author is not what he says, but what he whispers.  ~Logan Pearsall Smith

If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood.  I'd type a little faster.  ~Isaac Asimov

I love being a writer.  What I can't stand is the paperwork.  ~Peter De Vries

A critic can only review the book he has read, not the one which the writer wrote.  ~Mignon McLaughlin

Writing is easy:  All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.  ~Gene Fowler

A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the other one. ~Baltasar Gracián

Writing is a struggle against silence.  ~Carlos Fuentes
Most editors are failed writers - but so are most writers.  ~T.S. Eliot
My language is the common prostitute that I turn into a virgin.  ~Karl Kraus

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.  ~Henry David Thoreau,
Being an author is being in charge of your own personal insane asylum.  ~Terri Guillemets

If I fall asleep with a pen in my hand, don't remove it — I might be writing in my dreams. ~Terri Guillemets

I write because I'm afraid to say some things out loud. ~Gordon Atkinson

A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.  ~Thomas Mann
A person who publishes a book wilfully appears before the populace with his pants down. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay

I hate writing, I love having written.  ~Dorothy Parker

The first draft of anything is shit. Ernest Hemingway

I have found the most valuable thing in my wallet is my library card. Laura Bush

Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.

Gloria Steinem

Writing is easy:  All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.  ~Gene Fowler

You can't wait for inspiration, you have to go after it with a club.” - Jack London

Try to think of others’ good luck as encouragement to yourself. Richard Ford

“The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who’s going to stop me.” Ayn Rand

"I'm writing a first draft and reminding myself that I'm simply shovelling sand into the sandbox so that later I can build castles." - Rachel Stirling

“I write to give myself strength. I write to be the characters I am not. I write to explore all the things I’m afraid of.” Joss Whedon

"Don't turn away. Keep looking at the bandaged place. That's where the light enters you."  -Rumi

Okay, I’m going to stop now – just know that I could go on a LOT longer. I’ll leave you with by very favorite quote of all time:

The brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop the other people.”
― Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

Your turn. Do you have an inspiring quote stuck to your computer screen?

Dish it!

The winner of The Four Agreements from Kathryn Craft's post on Monday (thank you Kathryn!) is Jennifer Jensen!

Laura's Sweet on a Cowboy Series will conclude with Sweet On You.  It releases August 26th.

Ex-army medic Katya Smith has always healed other people's pain. Now she has to deal with her own. Taking a job as an athletic trainer on the Pro Bull Riding circuit seems like the perfect escape from her grief-except Katya doesn't know anything about bulls, and even less about the tough men who ride them. She doesn't expect to fall for the sport, or for one tantalizing cowboy who tumbles her defenses.

For rodeo champion Cam Cahill, fifteen years of bucking bulls have taken their toll on his body. Before he retires, he wants a final chance at the world title-and he doesn't need some New Age gypsy telling him how to do his job. But when the stunning trainer with the magical hands repairs more than his worn muscles, everything changes. Soon Cam finds himself trying to persuade Katya to forgive her past so she can build a future . . . with him.

Margie Lawson

If you are an NCIS fan, you know about Jethro Gibbs’ fifty-plus rules. I want to be as cool as Jethro Gibbs. This blog features my third Margie-Rule for writers.

Margie’s Rule # 3: Lock in the Emotional Set

My term, Emotional Set, refers to the mood of the scene. Writers know the emotional set of their POV character in each scene, but they need to be sure they slip it in each scene a variety of times, in different ways, for the reader. Everything should support the emotional set of that scene.

How can you show the reader the emotional set?

• Body Language
• Dialogue Cues
• Visceral Responses
• Action
• Internalizations – thoughts, narrative, exposition
• Themed Words – especially in description, setting, thoughts, and dialogue

We’ll look at the first three: body language, dialogue cues, and visceral responses.

 

Body Language:

Most writers use body language, and more, to share their characters’ emotional sets. They may rely on overused (clichéd) facial expressions, gestures, movements, and postures. Aack! Those read-it-before, said-it-before phrases invite the reader to skim, skim, skim.

This example includes a visceral response, body language, and a power internalization with a fun hyphenated-run-on.

Chasing Luck, by Brinda Berry, Multi-Margie-grad, 4 time Immersion-grad, three paragraphs

My stomach flutters like a moth caught in a jar.

His gaze sweeps down my body. Those twin dimples of danger match eyes that I swear can see through my clothes.

And I almost melt into a pool of girly goo. Jerk. Totally gorgeous-beyond-words jerk.

What did Brinda Berry do to make that piece work?

She started by giving a stomach-based visceral response two fresh twists. Moth, not butterfly. And this moth is caught in a jar.

In the second paragraph she added three hits of body language (gaze, dimples, eyes). And she amplified with an internalization we’ve seen before, but she makes it work because she amplified even more with a third paragraph. A big time amplified reaction, a fun teenage-girl themed piece with an approach-avoidance twist.

If you’re getting the idea that amplifying with fresh writing is a good thing, you’re thinking right.

Here are two smile-based sentences from Chasing Luck:

JT takes a sip of red wine and relaxes into his you're-being-unreasonable smile.

Hyphenated-run-ons make that smile unique. Easy to know his emotional set.

He hesitates and his sad smile reaches across the table to trap my breath.

Brinda Berry made that sad smile a stimulus that impacts the POV character. Smart!

Dialogue Cues:

If you’re not a Margie-grad, you may be wondering about the term Dialogue Cues. It’s a subset I carved out of dialogue tags. Dialogue Cues share the subtext of the dialogue. They cue the reader regarding the psychological message shared in how the character says the dialogue.

Examples:

Cloaked In Danger, Jeannie Ruesch, Multi-Margie-grad, Immersion-grad

The words flew out like desperate birds, and Aria clamped her lips shut to keep any more from escaping.

His voice had grown thick, a deep caress that sent tingles up her arms. He remembered, too.

When You Are Mine, Kennedy Ryan-- Her debut novel was just released June 17, 2014, Multi-Margie-grad, Immersion-grad.

“Oh, no. You just missed the last bus.” The girl’s voice was husky-hot and sweet. Honey burned to a crisp.

Jo used her don’t-play-a-player voice on him. “He’s going to propose again.”

The next example has a character whisper, but Kennedy Ryan amplified that basic dialogue cue with a power internalization featuring a cliché twist. Powerful and fresh.

“You’re in love with Cam,” Walsh whispered, awestruck that he had been so close for so long and never seen it. It was skywritten all over his cousin’s face

What if Kennedy Ryan hadn’t amplified? What if she hadn’t worked harder? What if she hadn’t given the reader anything fresh?

Here’s what she could have written:

  “You’re in love with Cam,” Walsh whispered.

Umm. Yep. Kennedy Ryan’s fresh writing deepened characterization for the non-POV character and for the POV character too. And it gave the reader a boost.

The Last Breath, Kimberly Belle -- Her debut novel will be released Sept. 30, 2014, Multi-Margie-grad, 4 time Immersion-grad

“Lexi.” My tone is weighed down with enough warning to sink a ship. “Don’t even think about bailing.”

Cal’s tone has cooled by a thousand degrees, and I hear a new note in it, one that sounds strangely like relief.

Fresh dialogue cues!

See how those dialogue cues inform the reader about that character’s emotional set?

Visceral Responses:

Visceral responses are emotionally triggered, involuntary, physical responses experienced by the POV character. Responses like hearts pounding, stomachs clenching, vision narrowing.

If the writer slips a few visceral responses in emotionally charged scenes, they take the scene from the POV character’s head, and the reader’s head, to the reader’s heart. In a well written scene, the visceral responses on the page may give the reader a visceral response.

The Last Breath, Kimberly Belle -- Her debut novel will be released Sept. 30, 2014, Multi-Margie-grad, 4 time Immersion-grad

No. My heart races, and every tiny hair soldiers to attention on the back of my neck, commanding me to run. Never again. No.

Her words zap me like a Taser, temporarily paralyzing my heart, my lungs, my conviction Lexi would do the right thing.

The last example used the rhetorical device anaphora. Powerful content, powerful cadence.

Nothing Sweeter, Laura Drake, Multi-Margie-grad, Immersion-grad, released January, 2014

“Well screw you both and your puffed-up male egos. I am so sick of caveman attitudes.” Her jaw locked so tight, the roots of her teeth ached. She was pissed that she had to fight tears. And even more pissed because she couldn’t stop them. Bolts of emotions cracked like lightning in her mind: anger, guilt, failure. Disappointment. Another lost opportunity.

Sweet On You, Laura Drake, Multi-Margie-grad, Immersion-grad, to be released August, 2014

The next example looks so easy to write. But writers know the sentence below required some brain cells. It carries cadence and impact.

Her heart stumbled, then double-timed, a hammer against her ribs.

Right? That sentence is simple, and stellar.

Here’s another simple-looking sentence.

A knife of homesickness slid between his ribs, hitting near his heart.

Wow. Laura Drake got me.

Katya jerked, and before she could control her body, she was crouched under the table, sweat popping in her armpits and her heart hammering like the piston of a redlined engine.

Katya is having a PTSD reaction, and Laura gives us a clear visual and a strong visceral reaction.

She played off a hammering heart, but she empowered the reaction and amplified that visceral response which made it carry power.

Deep Edit Analysis:

• Katya jerked – Physical reaction
• and before she could control her body -- Power Internalization
•  she was crouched under the table – Strong visual
•  sweat popping in her armpits -- Visceral Reaction
•  and her heart hammering –Visceral Reaction
•  like the piston of a redlined engine – Amplified simile. It’s amplified with the power word, redlined.

Laura could have written: Katya started sweating and her heart hammered like a piston.

Kudos to Laura Drake for working harder. She definitely locked in the emotional set!

Chasing Luck, by Brinda Berry, Multi-Margie-grad, 4 time Immersion-grad

I stare up at him, confused, unable to move or breathe. My heart picks up speed in way that usually occurs on the second mile of a run.

There’s a moment of panic that rises in my stomach like a bad meal, but I look at Ace and he smiles. The panic settles and disappears.

He's staring at me like he can actually hear the blood rushing in firehose-volume to my heart.

The bass ba-bum-ba-bum-ba-bum of my heartbeat booms in my head.

Each of those examples carries power. She added a fresh element. A fresh image. A fresh sound.

Enjoy this empowered example from When You Are Mine, by Kennedy Ryan.

She fumbled through rebuttoning her jacket, fingers shaking. She closed her eyes for a few erratic heartbeats, struggling to rein in her body’s response. She was a running engine slowly cooling down.

Stellar writing! The imagery, content, cadence, and simile help lock in the emotional set for the reader.

The Last Breath, Kimberly Belle -- Her debut novel will be released Sept. 30, 2014, Multi-Margie-grad, 4 time Immersion-grad.

No. My heart races, and every tiny hair soldiers to attention on the back of my neck, commanding me to run. Never again. No.

The same caution about using overused phrases applies to dialogue cues and visceral responses. Same-old, same-old doesn’t Velcro the reader to the read. Smart to push harder and write fresh.

Kimberly Belle deepened the emotional set with two visceral responses. Both visceral responses are common, but she paired them, and she freshened the hair-on-back-of-neck visceral in two ways. She gave it a boost of freshness with ‘soldiers to attention’ and she used that visceral as a stimulus for the command to run. She added two short frags that empowered content and cadence.

Check out another example from Kimberly Belle.

Her words zap me like a Taser, temporarily paralyzing my heart, my lungs, my conviction Lexi would do the right thing.

The last example used the rhetorical device anaphora. Again -- powerful content, powerful cadence.

And then I remember something else. Something that shoots a shiver up my spine and slams my heart to a standstill.

This example from Kimberly Belle has two paragraphs, for fun.

 “Gia, I…I have something I need to tell you before you make that promise.”

My stomach does a slow flip-flop that’s not entirely pleasant. “Is this the part where you tell me you’re married, or that you used to be a woman?”

Ah! Love that humor hit!

Some emotional story triggers are huge, and the writer needs to provide an empowered response. The following paragraph from Kimberly Belle is loaded with visceral responses. Trust me. This amplified response is needed. It has a big trigger.

My adrenaline suddenly spikes, smashing my anger instinct out of its paralysis. A cold ball of fury forms in my belly, pushing at my throat, putting down roots in my organs, snaking through my veins, growing and pulsing with life. I feel it swirl inside me, and somewhere in the very back closet of my mind, I acknowledge relief that it’s rage, rather than grief, gripping me by the guts. At least my anger, even as sharp as it is, feels like it’s holding me together rather than ripping me apart.

Look at all that power! The reader feels this character’s emotions. The emotional set is locked in and powered up.

Visceral Responses:

• My adrenaline suddenly spikes
• A cold ball of fury forms in my belly, pushing at my throat, putting down roots in my organs, snaking through my veins, growing and pulsing with life.
• I feel it swirl inside me
• gripping me by the guts.

The rest of the phrases and sentences in that paragraph are Power Internalizations.

I’ll share one more example from When You Are Mine, byKennedy Ryan. Enjoy this power internalization featuring a cliché twist.

“You’re in love with Cam,” Walsh whispered, awestruck that he had been so close for so long and never seen it. It was skywritten all over his cousin’s face

Wow! All those examples from Margie-grads make me proud!

If you some of these examples grabbed you, tweet or FB the authors, and post a comment below. They’ll all stop by the blog. Let them know they wowed you!

One more point about clichés. Reviewers notice clichés too.

BLOG GUESTS: NOW IT’S YOUR TURN!

Post a comment and you could win an online course from Lawson Writer’s Academy!

Check out the courses we’re offering in July, August, and September

1. Story Starters, Instructor: Koreen Myers

2. Battling the Basics, Instructor: Sarah Hamer

3. Visceral Rules: Beyond Hammering Hearts, Instructor: Margie Lawson

4. Self-Editing Your Manuscript, Instructor: Kathy Ide

5. 30 Days to a Stronger Novel, Instructor: Lisa Wells

6. Fab 30: Advanced Deep Editing, A Master Class, Instructor: Margie Lawson

7. From Good to Sold, Instructor: Shirley Jump

8. Story Structure Safari, Instructor: Lisa Miller

9. From Blah to Beats: Giving Chapters a Pulse, Instructor: Rhay Christou

10. Creating Reader’s Guides for Young Adult and Middle Grade Books, Instructor: Koreen Myers

11. The Hero’s Journey in YA Fiction, Instructors: Jennifer McAndrews and Linda Gerber

12. Writing a Synopsis that Helps You Sell! Instructor: Jennifer Archer

See you on the blog!

All smiles................Margie

Margie Lawson —psychotherapist, editor, and international presenter – teaches writers how to use her psychologically-based editing systems and deep editing techniques to create page turners. Margie has presented over eighty full day master classes in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and New Zealand. Writers credit her innovative deep editing approaches with taking their writing several levels higher—to publication, awards, and bestseller lists.    

To learn about Lawson Writer’s Academy, Margie’s 4-day Immersion Master Classes (in Colorado, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Dallas, Seattle, San Antonio, Houston, and on Whidbey Island), her full day Master Class presentations, keynote speeches, on-line courses, lecture packets, and newsletter, please visit www.MargieLawson.com.