Writers in the Storm

by Margie Lawson, @MargieLawson

If you watch NCIS, you know Jethro Gibbs, aka Mark Harmon, has rules. Fifty-plus rules. My next fifteen (or fifty) blogs will feature a different Margie-Rule for writers.

[Click here for Margie's Rule #1:
Never Take Any Word for Granted.]

Margie’s Rule #2: Write the Hard Stuff: Facial Expressions

Write the hard stuff.

Those words sound harsh. Nobody wants to write the hard stuff. And writing fresh facial expressions is tough.

It’s easy to write a sigh. It’s easy to write a nod. It’s easy to have a character shake their head.

It’s easy to write eyebrows raising, lifting, lowering, wagging.

It’s easy to write eyes narrowing, widening, slitting, squinting, winking, rolling.

It’s not easy to write fresh facial expressions.

You may be thinking, why write fresh? What’s wrong with writing overused facial expressions? Everybody writes them.

Lots of writers use those overused phrases. Readers have read those phrases thousands of times.

But clichés are invitations to skim. The reader detaches from the read. They take a mini-break. They tune out of your story and tune into their real word.

For many agents and editors, clichés aren’t just invitations to skim. They stop reading.

I’m not the only writing expert who wants to kill most clichés. Every basic how-to book for writers cautions against using clichés. I’ll share ideas from several How-to-Write books.

Here’s what James V. Smith, Jr. said about clichés in YOU CAN WRITE A NOVEL. This is from his “YOU MIGHT BE AN AMATEUR IF” section.

 You might be an amateur if you rely on clichés.

This item is obligatory for any writing handbook. Beware the automatic phrase, such as “white as snow” and “quiet as a mouse.” If your heroic character roars like a lion, she’d better be a lioness. 

One of the books on my top ten how-to books for beginning writers is THE FIRST FIVE PAGES by Noah Lukeman. He has sixteen pages listed in the index that address something about clichés. He includes this caution in chapter one:

I can’t tell you how many manuscripts either open with clichés or have one on their first page. This is almost always a sure indicator of a commonplace sensibility and will thus lead to instant rejection.

Trust the writing experts. Avoid clichés. Push yourself to write fresh. 

All the examples in this blog are from Margie-grads. Enjoy!

Blaze, Joan Swan, multi-Margie-grad, 3 time Immersion-grad

For an extended second his eyes remained steady and unblinking on her face. A deep vertical line pulled between his brows, as if someone had smacked him upside the head and he hadn’t quite recovered.

When she looked up, Owen’s expression held a mixture of decades-old emotions that stirred her heart and her libido.

Dirty Magic, Jaye Wells, multi-Margie-grad, 2 time Immersion-grad

Gardner’s expression went tense, like she’d hoped I would have forgotten about that. When he finally looked up, his eyes were shiny and red-rimmed.

His smile transformed his face from boyish to almost-mannish.

Sweet on You, Laura Drake, to be released August, 2014, multi-Margie-grad, Immersion-grad

Her expression in the mirror looked familiar for the first time in weeks. She looked like a soldier; determined, tough, and ready.

The Cam in front of the cameras looked so different than the Cam she was getting to know. His face was closed, carefully composed. A Cool Hand Cahill mask.

Her lips attempted a smile, but her eyes didn’t bother.

Two Paragraphs:

He opened his eyes and studied her face. Her lips taut, her eyes cool, shuttered, and professional. And that hurt. “Will you have dinner with me tonight?”

Her look lasered to a hawk’s predatory gaze. No cool there now.

Dare You To, Katie McGarry, multi-Margie-Grad 

Beth’s face explodes into this radiant smile and her blue eyes shine like the sun. My insides melt. This moment is special and I don’t want to let it go. I’m the one that put that look there.

From over his shoulder, Dad indicates I should join them by giving me one of his rare I’m-proud-of-you smiles. It makes me unbalanced.

Mom shifts in her seat like a crow fluffing out its wings. The only thing she’s missing is the pissed-off caw.

Find Me, Romily Bernard, Golden Heart Winner, and multi-Margie-grad

“That’s good. That’s good.” Bren’s nodding hard enough to knock something loose.

Everyone else is talking and crying, but Tally’s motionless, staring at me like I’m the only person who has ever mattered. Like I’m a hero.

The Last Breath (MIRA), Kimberly Belle, to be released Sept. 30, 2014, multi-Margie-grad, 4-time Immersion-grad

A smile slides up Jake’s face and settles in. It’s a magnetic, no-holds-barred smile, a smile that’s fierce and undeniably sexy, a smile that tugs and tingles somewhere deep and low in my belly.

Now Cal doesn’t bother hiding his surprise, or his fury. His neutral expression mushrooms into something livid and then clenches. Slammed brows, squeezed lips.

The realization slams him back onto his seat and sobers his expression more thoroughly than ten double espressos.

I watch as every emotion I feared most competes on Jake’s face. Grief, disgust, hatred, despair.

Kennedy Ryan, When You Are Mine, to be released June 17, 2014, multi-Margie-grad, Immersion-grad

Kerris’s smile played tug-of-war with her sad eyes.

The smile Kerris pushed onto her lips felt like a too-tight sweater.

Walsh flashed a smile he’d been cultivating in expensive schools and exclusive parties since he was twelve years old, hoping no one was the wiser.

Two Paragraphs:

“Walsh,” his mother said from the head of the table a few feet north of him and Sofie. “Will you open the dancing with me?”

Walsh lobbed a silent yes-get-me-out-of-this expression to his mother. She returned with a mama-always-knows smile.

I’m so impressed with my Margie-grads. Stellar writing!

If you some of these examples grabbed you, tweet or Fb the authors, and post a comment below. They’ll all stop by the blog. Let them know they wowed you!

One more point about clichés. Reviewers notice clichés too.

I’ll share the last sentences from two reviews. They’re for different books, by different authors. One is from Publisher’s Weekly, one is from Kirkus.

The last sentence from one review:

Clichés roll past like tumbleweeds on the prairie.

The last sentence from the other review:

(Author’s name) message gets buried in a sludge pile of clichés.

AACK!

You do not want anyone reviewing your book to mention clichés!

I hope you all dig deep and write the hard stuff.

If you feel stuck, consider the lecture packet for the third in my Big Three writing craft courses: Writing Body Language and Dialogue Cues Like a Psychologist. I teach that online course next March. That’s why the lecture packets are available through Paypal from my website.

You’ll find loads of teaching points and examples in my lectures. You’ll learn how to write body language and dialogue cues fresh, and it won’t seem so hard.

The more you write fresh, the easier it becomes. The more you write fresh, the stronger your writing.

BLOG GUESTS: NOW IT’S YOUR TURN!
Post a comment and you could win an online course from Lawson Writer’s Academy!

Check out the courses we’re offering in June:

1. Character-Themed Writing -- Instructor: Elizabeth Essex

2. Love Your Voice -- Instructor: Julie Rowe

3. From blah to beats: Giving Your Chapter a Pulse -- Instructor: Rhay Christou

Due to my travel schedule to present at a university, at writing conferences, and teach six Immersion classes across the U.S. this summer, the next online class I’m teaching is in August: Visceral Rules: Beyond Hammering Hearts.

Please check out my three donations on Brenda Novak's Diabetes Auction. 

http://bit.ly/BidOnImmersion

1. Twelve Months of Online Courses from Lawson Writer's Academy -- $600 value

2. Margie Lawson's 50 Page Triple Pass Deep Edit -- $350 value

3. Immersion Master Class, Lodging, and Two Bonus Days with Margie Lawson! -- $1550 value

Thank you!

See you on the blog!

All smiles................Margie

p.s. No you haven't imagined it...we have an extra post for you this week as a thank you (in advance) for helping us transition to our new site next week!

IMPORTANT REMINDER
** Writers In The Storm is getting a makeover! **
We're moving to our new digs June 2nd. Stay tuned for party news (and giveaways)...

*  *  *  *  *  *

About Margie

Margie Lawson —psychotherapist, editor, and international presenter – teaches writers how to use her psychologically-based editing systems and deep editing techniques to create page turners. Margie has presented over eighty full day master classes in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and New Zealand. Writers credit her innovative deep editing approaches with taking their writing several levels higher—to publication, awards, and bestseller lists.

To learn about Lawson Writer’s Academy, Margie’s 4-day Immersion Master Classes (in Colorado, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Dallas, Seattle, San Antonio, Houston, and on Whidbey Island), her full day Master Class presentations, keynote speeches, on-line courses, lecture packets, and newsletter, please visit www.MargieLawson.com.

by Jenny Hansen, @JennyHansenCA

Editing and Proofreading: Two separate processes that equal one great story.

Like most writers, I hang out with a boatload of other writers. Still, I never saw much of other peoples’ works in progress until I coordinated a contest several years ago. Coordinating contests changed the way I see writing. Period. It was a window into both sides of the submission process.

Plus, I saw firsthand one of the important talents that separates the amateurs from the professionals: the ability to both edit and proofread.

In novel-writing, editing is King and proofreading is Queen.

Professional writers, whether published or pre-published know: You never get a second chance to make a first impression. They work hard to make a great first impression.

As a contest coordinator, I had to read every piece of paper sent between the judges and the contestants to ensure everyone played nice with each other. (It should be noted that nearly everyone did.)

There was an area on the score sheet called “Mechanics” worth a whopping twenty points.

One well-known author gave a contestant FIVE points, along with an amazing gift: she chastised the writer that these twenty points were the easiest points to ace in the entire contest. She told the contestant that “there is no excuse for not taking the time to get all twenty points EVERY time.”

Spelling, grammar, punctuation and neatness are nearly the only thing you can be completely confident of when you start writing because things like voice and pacing take a while to master.

I let this (very blunt) comment stand because I knew it might save that contestant’s career.

Many writers see editing and proofreading as the same thing. In reality, these two techniques employ very different parts of your writing brain.

Think of it like building a house. You can lay a solid foundation, frame the house correctly, hang the drywall, slap on some paint and that house is structurally sound, sealed and dry. It is a well-edited house and the floor plan is amazing.

BUT, if you don’t take some extra time on the finish work: painting the trim, adding some scrollwork or lining up the crown molding, fewer people will want to buy it. Worse, if they do buy it (for a much lower rate) they’ll walk away from the exchange thinking you did half-assed work because now they have to take time to fix it.

How is editing different from proofreading?

Here's a great article that discusses the differences between the two. These rules apply whether you’re dealing with business documents, such as white papers, articles or novels.

Although many people use the terms interchangeably, editing and proofreading are two different stages of the revision process. Both demand close and careful reading, but they focus on different aspects of the writing and employ different techniques.

Editing

Editing is what you begin doing as soon as you finish your first draft.

• You reread your draft to see, for example, whether your work is well-organized, your point of view correct, whether all the scenes support your plot and the transitions between these scenes are smooth.
• Have you varied the length and structure of your sentences?
• Do you tend to use the passive voice too often?
• Do you use an excessive amount of clichés?
• What about the more subtle editing techniques like deleting your echoes?

Note: Sharla Rae wrote an amazing blog on this topic, called Echoes – Repeat Offenders. It's a must-read.

Proofreading

Proofreading is the final stage of the editing process, focusing on errors in spelling, grammar and punctuation.

It’s recommended that you proofread only after you have finished all of your other editing revisions (so you only have to do it once) but most writers do it as they go along. The danger in this habit is that familiarity can make you blind.

Some tips to help you to search (and find) your errors:

• Don't rely entirely on spelling or grammar checkers.
  
  These programs work with a limited number of rules, so they can't identify every error and often make mistakes.
• Proofread for only one kind of error at a time.
  
  If you try to identify and revise too many things at once, you risk losing focus, and your proofreading will be less effective.
• Read slow, and read every word.
  
  Try reading out loud, which forces you to say each word and also lets you hear how the words sound together.
• Circle every punctuation mark.
  
  This forces you to look at each one. As you circle, ask yourself if the punctuation is correct.
• Proofreading is a learning process.
  
  You're not just looking for errors that you recognize; you're also learning to recognize and correct new errors. This is where handbooks and dictionaries come in. Keep the ones you find helpful close at hand as you proofread.
• Ignorance may be bliss, but it won't make you a better proofreader.
  
  You'll often find things that don't seem quite right to you, but you may not be quite sure what's wrong either. If you're not sure about something, look it up, and don’t be shy about asking others to proofread your work.

Some tips that apply to both editing and proofreading

Get some distance from the text!
It’s hard to edit or proofread a work in progress that you’ve just finished writing—it’s still too familiar, and you tend to skip over a lot of errors. Put the paper aside for a few hours, days, or weeks. In his book, On Writing, Stephen King recommends a minimum of 2-3 weeks.

Do something else.
Clear your head of what you’ve written so you can take a fresh look at the paper and see what is really on the page. Better yet, give the paper to a friend—you can’t get much more distance than that. Someone who is reading the paper for the first time, comes to it with completely fresh eyes.

Below are some techniques from the University of North Carolina article I referenced up above – I highly recommend reading the entire article if you have time.

• Decide what medium lets you proofread most carefully.
  
  Some people like to work on the computer, while others like to sit back with a printed copy that they can mark up as they read.
• Try changing the look of your document.
  
  Altering the size, spacing, color, or style of the text may trick your brain into thinking it’s seeing an unfamiliar document, and that can help you get a different perspective on what you’ve written.
• Find a quiet place to work.
  
  Don’t try to do your proofreading in front of the TV or while you’re chugging away on the treadmill. Find a place where you can concentrate and avoid distractions.
• If possible, do your editing and proofreading in several short blocks of time, rather than all at once—otherwise, your concentration is likely to wane.
• If you’re short on time, you may wish to prioritize your editing and proofreading tasks to be sure that the most important ones are completed first.

Whew! Writing this made me feel like I’ve run a marathon already…how about you? I’m going to take a walk and come back and do some serious editing on the current novel.

What editing and proofreading techniques have you found the most helpful? Are there resources that you rely on during your editing or proofing phase?

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IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
** Writers In The Storm is getting a makeover! **
We're moving to our new digs June 2nd. Stay tuned for party news (and giveaways)...

About Jenny Hansen

By day, Jenny provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. By night she writes humor, memoir, women’s fiction and short stories. After 15 years as a corporate software trainer, she’s delighted to sit down while she works.

When she’s not at her personal blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter at JennyHansenCA or at Writers In The Storm. Jenny also writes the Risky Baby Business posts at More Cowbell, a series that focuses on babies, new parents and high-risk pregnancy.

photo credit: sidewalk flying via photopin cc

Turning Whine into Gold
By Kathryn Craft, @KCraftWriter

Last year, Janice Gable Bashman and I co-wrote an article for Writer’s Digest Magazine, The 7 Deadly Sins of Self-Editing, that turned out to be quite popular. Apparently sinning resonated with writers (go figure!) who recognized that greed, lust, gluttony, pride, sloth, envy, and wrath might be waiting to trip up their creative souls.

But recognizing pitfalls is only half the battle when seeking a fruitful career and a meaningful life. We know what to avoid—but what should we be reaching for?

Many years ago I found great answers within the Toltec wisdom that inspired Don Miguel Ruiz’s 1997 book, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom.

It’s a little book with a big message. Embracing its wisdom improved all aspects of my life. Today, however, I want to look at what the first tenet has to offer us as writers.

Be impeccable with your word.

Editors love authors who meet their deadlines. (Think about the implied threat here: cross the line and your story is dead.) Doing so shows you are respectful and focused and humble enough to see that publishing is a business concern much larger than your story alone.

Editors, however, will not be the only people to whom you will make commitments. As you take your rightful place within the time-honored lineage of artists who have passed on their knowledge to those who need it, the conferences, community groups, and other writers to whom you’ve made promises will also laud you for honoring your commitments. That said, everyone misjudges from time to time. If you can’t meet an obligation, renegotiate it as soon as possible to preserve your relationships.

Above all else you must act with integrity toward yourself.

Only by keeping your word to yourself can you can be the person you want to be. If you want to be an author, that means showing up at your chosen job so you can pursue your writing goals.

Is this important? We’re creatives after all—if we aren’t in the mood to write today, can’t we switch it up and watch TV instead?

Not if you told yourself you would write. Keeping your word with yourself is the only road to inner peace.

Interestingly, it is also the only road to achievement.

As someone who witnessed her husband’s self-destruction, I know a little something about the stakes here. To ignore this agreement is to introduce dangerous psychic dissonance into your life, which is the result of believing one thing, and doing another.

If you cannot hold yourself to your word and meet your writing goals, you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of inner failure.

Think ten years down the road. Who will you be?

a)      a family joke
b)      an imposter
c)      a failure
d)     a dreamer
e)      a working writer
f)       a recorder of truth
g)      a go-getter
h)      an inspiration

I’ll take “e” through “h,” thank you.

To succeed in writing you must show up and do the work you’ve identified as your life’s mission. Or renegotiate the terms of your commitment, and find a life that you can live with greater integrity.

It’s okay to say that you will journal and learn and doodle for another year or two while your kids are little. It’s okay to say you’re going to work for one hour each day instead of pretending you can churn out an unrealistic word count.

I know for a fact that this sounds a lot simpler than it is. Writing is hard. Finding time to do it is hard. But whining doesn’t get you published. If you are ready to ramp up your career, you will have to raise your expectations, then meet your obligations to self.

I’ll explore the other agreements in future posts. For now, feel free to use the comment section as an opportunity to shout your personal truth to the universe.

What are your current writing and career goals, and how do you intend to keep your word to yourself?

*  *  *  *  *  *

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT
** Writers In The Storm is getting a makeover! **
We're moving to our new digs June 2nd. Stay tuned for party news (and giveaways)...

About Kathryn

Kathryn Craft is the author of two novels from Sourcebooks: The Art of Falling, and a second novel due Spring 2015. Her work as a developmental editor at Writing-Partner.com, specializing in storytelling structure and writing craft, follows a nineteen-year career as a dance critic. Long a leader in the southeastern Pennsylvania writing scene, she now serves as book club liaison for the Women’s Fiction Writers Association. She hosts lakeside writing retreats for women in northern New York State, leads workshops, and speaks often about writing. She lives with her husband in Bucks County, PA. Although a member of The Liars Club, she swears that everything in this bio is true.