Writers in the Storm

We are delighted to welcome back The Naked Editor, Tiffany Lawson Inman from hiatus! Whoop!

By Tiffany Lawson Inman

What do you do when your character needs to wipe his/her nose?  Or wave goodbye? Or hold back a tear? Or close a door? Or smile?

            Write the action. Simple. Right?

Is your character always in character? Is your character always in the moment? Yup, these are phrases usually used in the theatre. Most commonly used by the director, yelling out to an actor, “You aren’t in character.” Or, “That’s out of character.”  Or, “You’re not in the moment.”

What do those phrases really mean?

• When an actor isn’t in character, it usually means he/she is speaking dialogue and moving around the stage as the actor and not the character.

Example: Jane Smith the actor’s mannerisms instead of Blanche Dubois'.

• When they are truly out of character it usually means there is something “off” with the actor’s performance and the action or dialogue didn’t fit with how the director views the character.

Example: Jane Smith acting as Blanche Dubois, moves and speaks using robotic mannerisms.

• If an actor isn’t in the moment, then the emotion flowing through action and dialogue isn’t in sync with that specific moment.

Example: Jane Smith acting as Blanche Dubois is deadpan and stiff through her most emotionally intimate dialogue.

What does this have to do with writing and why is it such a big deal?

Small actions are big, no, HUGE opportunities for your written characters to show show show and if there is something missing, generic, or contradictory with your character and the moment, the agent will notice, the editor will notice, THE READER WILL NOTICE.

The smallest action can show personality, internal motivation, external motivation, intensity of the moment, attitude towards another character, etc.  Writing character specific action (in character actions) will boost character depth and your reader’s connection to them and the story.

Keep in mind while you are working hard to write your original and super complex or simple fresh actions, don’t get lazy and let your characters share actions. The action and dialogue should be specific to each character and each moment. Or else, what’s the point?

I feel compelled to mention this point because I’m currently reading a New York Times Best selling author’s most recent work and have come across a few speed bumps. This author deserves the title, hands down has some of the most original action and emotion and character chemistry that I have ever read.

However, I’m on page 184 and already this author has had three different characters share an action and with that action a certain attitude in the moment. Because the action didn’t always match the character or the moment – my brain tripped over that mental speed bump.

The action was a seemingly simple phrase: “I killed the engine.”  It has a certain sense of urgency and bite to it, yes? The fact is they are all three totally different characters in different situations.

In your own writing, which of your characters can you see “killing the engine?”  Probably not all of them. Off the top of my head, here are a few phrasing choices for the other character’s scenes instead of “I killed the engine.”

• He rolled to a stop and quieted the engine.
• I slammed my foot on the brake and flicked off the engine.
• She sat back in the seat and waited for the engine to die.

** I have 158 more pages to go. I shudder to think how many engines will be killed in the making of this novel.  Sorry, I couldn’t resist. :-) I’m hoping-praying-and-crossing-my-fingers that this was a copyeditor's doing and not that one of my favorite authors is getting lazy.

It’s the small stuff I think you should sweat with writing. Because those little changes can take your writing from “eh… .” to “WOOT WOOT!”

I bet you are thinking: But some actions are just simple actions, right? Like wiping a nose. Can’t all of my characters just simply wipe their nose? Of course they can.  If you want your agent, editor, publisher, friend, mother, or population of readers to think, “…eh…I guess that works.” as they put your book down and forget your name the next time they go shopping for a new juicy read.  Okay, okay, that’s a little extreme, but I think you see what I am saying here.

Think about these characters you have created. Really think. These are your babies, so you should know how to keep them in character and in the moment at all times by thinking about:

1. The mood of the scene.
2. The motivation of each character in each scene.
3. The details of their personality.
4. What words and phrases they would think (or the ones you can use in their POV).
5. Their emotional state at that moment.
6. If they are reacting to another character or event.
7. If this is a character changing moment.
8. How can you show the reader that change is happening?
9. What can you show the reader about the character with this action?
10. Is this an action that can remain naked and unattached?

Let’s say my characters are Stanley and Blanche from A Streetcar Named Desire by Tennessee Williams.

For those who don’t know already, here’s a partial character description according to Sparknotes.com:

Stanley: he possesses an animalistic physical vigor that is evident in his love of work, of fighting, and of sex. His chief amusements are gambling, bowling, sex, and drinking, and he lacks ideals and imagination. Stanley’s animosity toward Blanche manifests itself in all of his actions toward her

Blanche: she is an aging Southern belle who lives in a state of perpetual panic about her fading beauty. Her manner is dainty and frail, and she sports a wardrobe of showy but cheap evening clothes.

I mentioned wiping noses earlier, so let’s stick with that action. It’s simple and a lot of writers wouldn’t think it could show much in a scene.

My version of Stanley wiping his nose:

Stanley grabbed a grease rag from his back pocket and knuckled at his nose with it a few times. He made sure to let it drop onto the table in front of Blanche.

Breakdown: Shown he has no qualms about rubbing dirty things on his face or in his pockets.  By using the word knuckled, I have shown a very specific action matching his personality. And I showed his attitude towards another character by involving her in the action. Action fits the moment.

My version of Blanche wiping her nose:

Blanche’s hands trembled as she dabbed under her nose, the worn silk barely kissing her blushing skin.

Breakdown: Showing what appears to be an emotional state, her hands trembling. The word dabbed shows a specific action matching her personality. Involving the type of fabric she is using ties in with her character and wardrobe. And as it barely touches her, you have to think about whether she needed to really wipe her nose, or if it is all a performance.

Can you imagine Blanche knuckling her nose, or Stanley dabbing his with silk? Good. Then I have done my job. These actions only belong to one character.

Do you have to go into this much detail for every little action? Heck no. Sometimes it’s as easy as a word change or an addition of a voice infused line.

Example: Character being chased through a spooky house. The action is closing a door.

Version one: I slammed the door as hard as I could.

Breakdown: Shows they really wanted the door shut. Doesn’t show personality. Doesn’t show anything about their environment. And a cliché?!?! BORING…

Version two: I slammed the door so hard I half-expected to hear an echo from the empty bowels of Mr. McScary’s house.

Breakdown: Shows the character really wanted the door shut. A little humor in character’s voice saying they expected to hear an echo, also shows exactly how hard the door was shut,    enough to create an echo. And by using the word bowels, I’ve compared something stanky, dark, and twisty to the house that this person is being chased through. Or alluded to the character being ingested by the house. And I used 'McScary' because it implements voice, and I have Grey’s Anatomy on my mind. LOL!

These are your characters.

You sat behind the rusted out pickup inhaling exhaust and created a story for the little old woman driving it.

You went to the amusement park with your four nephews and watched them get off the haunted ride - you created the story of how each of them handled the creepy skeevy darkness.

You painstakingly sat on the train commuting to work listening to every conversation and using the inspiration to write three back stories a day.

You are the writer.

Don’t fish out a character’s action (or dialogue tag, emotion, trait, description, or anything else for that matter) from someone else’s book.

It cheapens the experience for your readers and cheapens your worth as a writer.

As a reader and an editor I want to read a passage and say, “Hotdiggitydarn, that was amazing and original and totally in sync with the character at that moment. . . .and I can’t wait to read more!

Leave a comment today and share with us how your protagonist would wipe his/her nose in the same room as your antagonist. Or just say “hi.”  I’ll draw a name from the comments and edit the first 2 pages of your WIP. Sound good?

So, I’m sure you noticed I didn’t mention where or when these in character moments should happen, how you can use dialogue to show action, how to bring emotion into these small actions, how to manipulate non-POV actions, and about a million other teaching points surrounding this topic.

Well, this is a blog, not a class! :)

I will be teaching hands-on online courses this fall over at Lawson Writer’s Academy. Come learn learn learn from me about scene writing, Oscar worthy characters, emotional authenticity, writing violence, basic and advanced choreography, and dramatic dialogue.  Stay tuned to WITS because I’ll be on here again next month.

I can’t wait to see some fabulous in character nose wipes!

Thank you all for stopping by today and getting your WITS on! I am incredibly happy to be rejoining the WITS team every month. Thanks ladies!

Tiffany Lawson Inman (NakedEditor) claimed a higher education at Columbia College Chicago. There, she learned to use body and mind together for action scenes, character emotion, and dramatic story development.

She teaches Action, Choreography, Physicality, Violence, and Dialogue for Lawson Writer’s Academy, presents hands-on-action workshops, and will be offering webinars in 2014. As a freelance editor, she provides deep story analysis and dramatic fiction editing services. Tiffany will be off maternity leave and back on-line before the end of the year! Stay tuned to WITS to see Tiffany’s upcoming guest blogs, contests, and lecture packets.

Check out all the online courses offered by Lawson Writer’s Academy.

by Fae Rowen

My living room deck is a lizard freeway. It serves as a form of kitty TV for my Siamese warrior cat. One afternoon this summer I caught movement out of the corner of my eye.

Since I've named the lizards that entertain me every afternoon, I walked to the open slider to say hello. Taking a momentary break in the sun wasn't a lizard, but a field mouse. I wished Shogun wasn't napping in the garage.

No! My attic has finally been completely rodent free for nine months and there was no way this little furry villain was getting into my house. The mouse sprinted toward the air conditioning vent. I thought about finding my Siamese hunter and turning him loose, but since he's an indoor cat. I knew I wouldn't let him engage the mouse in battle.

I slid the screen open, ready to  follow the progress of the mouse as it scurried along the long, straight foundation. Ready to yell at it. But a shadow fell across my garden and I stayed inside. A crow that lives in my neighbor's eucalyptus trees landed on my deck cover. It had only one focus--the tiny, defenseless mouse.

No! "Run little mouse," I whispered. There was no cover for the poor creature and it would have to be very fast to make the corner of the house and the safety of the planter there.

The crow launched. I didn't see what happened. It seemed like an eternity before the black wings appeared, heading for the peak of my neighbor's roof. The tiny wriggling mouse dangled from its beak.

I turned away, sorry for my original anger upon seeing the cute little thing scrubbing its whiskers in the sunlight.  Sorry that I did nothing.

And I thought about how quickly my perception and feeling about the mouse changed because of the circumstances in that ten second window.

As writers, don't we want to take our readers through that roller coaster of emotion with a whiplash twist of feeling? Don't we want our readers to be that engaged with our characters and what life throws at them?

So how do you strap your reader into the thrill ride of emotion?

DEEP POV.

Since the RWA conference, I've been doing a final revision on my WIP. It needs more emotion. (Yeah, so what's new?)

I've listened to lectures on deep POV and read articles about it.  But I'm going to share what works for me.

Look at everything through your characters eyes. You may say, "I already do that." But keep in mind, when you're looking through your characters eyes, you're also hearing with your characters ears, feeling with their fingers, muscles, and whatever other body part is engaged in the scene. Your nose smells and your tongue tastes whatever passes your character's lips.

Sound easy? It didn't use to be for me, but now it is. The big change for me was moving from above or in the "wings" of the scene thinking about my character's POV, as opposed to being inside the body of the character with the most to gain or lose in the scene. (You know that's how you choose the POV character, right?)

Before I write, and when I'm away from home and can't write, I live the life of my character in the scene I'm going to work on next. I may be driving the freeway, but I was really piloting my one-seater fighter in a desperate battle for my life. (Hmmm, not so different from the freeways of SoCal sometimes.) When I eat my lunch salad I feel what it is like for a character who has survived all their life on only protein bars and powdered protein drinks. A mouthful of crunchy crisp lettuce, the explosion of red bell pepper, and the coolness of cucumber. Working out with my trainer I (on a good day) feel the fluidity and strength of my characters.  Working with my one-legged balance and a kettle bell, I am Athena. My trainer says, "Perfect. Do them all like that." Would that I could.

An interesting side effect of living this way is that every thing in my daily life is more vibrant, more exciting. Am I actually in my own POV noticing more and participating more in my life? I think so.

When I climb into my character's body, deep POV is natural. There is so much more going on because instead of writing about the emotions in her head, I feel them in her body. I feel those visceral hits that Margie Lawson talked about at conference. If my character's solar plexus tightens, I know.

And you can, too, by putting yourself not in your character's head, but in their body. You know, the body doesn't lie.

Back to the field mouse. My body was relaxed when I crossed to the slider, expecting to see a lizard. My chest expanded with an inhaled breath of surprise when I saw the mouse. I remembered the joy of nine months with no little footsteps over my computer room, and anger scrambled up my throat. My mind slammed a steel door on the possibility of this mouse lazing in my attic. I wanted to kill it, but I knew I couldn't get the right tools fast enough, so I envisioned my cat ripping it apart.

When the object to carry out my wrath swooped in, I froze. I didn't step outside. I felt the stare of the crow as if I were the mouse.  You get the idea.

Rest in peace, little mouse. And thank you for my writing lesson.

How has life supplied you with an unexpected writing lesson in ten seconds? Or more?

By Laura Drake

We love seeing what our readers are up to - so here's your chance!  This month, I'm thinking about middles, since I'm near the middle of my WIP, and worrying about sagging (and for once, it's not about my butt).

So here's your assignment:

Go to your WIP (or one of your other books,) turn to the middle (no cheating) and share a paragraph  or so  in the comments (no more than 200 words, and only one, please.)

Here are ours...

Laura (from my latest, Her Road Home):

The front door slammed open, admitting a woman who, at first glance, looked like a high society matron. A soft pink sleeveless silk shell was tucked into expensively tailored buff linen slacks. Her well-cut hair, with perfect subtle tones of blonde screamed exclusive hairdresser. Her face suggested good breeding, with high cheekbones and a refined nose. She was tanning-bed brown and society thin.

And drunk. Not the falling down variety, or even the speech slurring version, but Sam knew the subtle signs. Her linen slacks were rumpled, and a watermark stain darkened the silk blouse. Her hair pressed flat on one side, and her makeup was smeared. All these could be attributable to the late hour, but Sam knew better.

Sharla (from "Felling A Timberman"):

Noelle stopped dead in the doorway, shocked.

A ledger lay open at the foot of the bed and wads of paper were scattered like jettisoned snowballs all over the floor. An ink-stained sheet covered Vidar’s lap, and his blankets lay in a snarled heap on the floor. Worse, the water pitcher on his nightstand had tipped over, soaking the blankets.

“It’s about time,” he grumbled. “Where did you hide my britches?

A weeks worth of pent up irritation drove into the room. “Listen, Timber Beast, I --” She stumbled and watched helplessly as the tray sailed out of her windmilling hands. Dishes crashed as she belly flopped onto the damp heap blankets beside his bed.

Gulping a breath of air, she pushed to her feet. “Y-e-u!” Syrupy porridge oozed between her fingers.

A bark of laughter followed by chortles and snorts erupted from the miscreant lounging in bed.

Noelle turned on him, raising a sticky fist. “You, ungrateful sidewinder! Don’t you dare laugh at me!” She eyed the mess she’d have to clean up. Too bad the ornery coyote laughing his fool head off had escaped unscathed.

Jenny (from her WIP, A Sister In Need):

Agatha couldn’t help it. She crossed herself. Vigorously. “Child, were you hurt?”

“Christ Jesus. No, I wasn’t hurt.” He brayed with laughter. “You know, my Aunt Genevieve’s a nun and she crosses just like you. They give all you penguins crossing lessons or what? Every time one of us gets drunk and starts cussing – and since we’re Irish, that’s like all the damn time – Aunt Genny practically knocks herself sideways crossing.”

Seeing the sheen of tears in Maureen's eyes, she crossed herself again for good measure, bowing her head and watching the gunman through her eyelashes.

When his laughter cut off midstream, and he ground his Glock into Maureen's neck, Agatha’s resolve began to tremble. Their hostage-taker was either on some sort of substance or he wasn’t quite sane. Neither scenario was going to be good for Mo.

Desperate to keep him talking, she asked, “Does your Aunt Genny wear a habit?”

“She wore a black habit last I remember, with the white thingie around her neck. And a really killer cross. Heavy. It used to whack us when she’d bend over to pick us up.”

Fae (from Contracting Joy, the second in the Keep Sphere novels):

The lights winked off, then the auxiliary power lit them again.  Tanner made for the tube access at a dead run and jumped in.  He’d checked the long range scan just minutes before, but it was possible that another ship had jumped in close beside them.  Too close, unless its crew meant to.  And the only reason a ship would jump so close to another was if they were . . .

Heart pounding, he hurtled himself out of the tube at the bridge opening and made for his station.  Before he settled in the chair, he tapped his screen to get confirmation of his fears.  Swarms of single and two-man ships nipped at the hull of the Cargo Runner.  Without a doubt, they were being attacked by pirates, and there wasn’t a damned thing as tactician he could do.

Orly (from her WIP, The Day The Merry-Go-Round Stopped):

I picture the old Hank with the paper-thin skin on his hands that accentuates every vein and the eyes that water slightly when he’s thinking about something. The Hank who talks to me about the colors he used on the carousel and how he decided where to place each animal. The Hank who asks who I am every couple of sentences. The Hank who squeezes my hand when he knows I need comfort and tells me to let go of the guilt because guilt is a useless emotion.

I picture the young Hank with the strong, wide hands and ready grin and the eyes that sparkle with the fun-to-come. The Hank who talks to Meera about dancing and running in the waves. The Hank who squeezes my hand searching for comfort that he did the right thing in letting me go and asks me to be happy to release his guilt.

Now it's your turn! We can't wait to see your work down in the comments section.