Writers in the Storm

Today we welcome Lori Freeland to WITS for the first time! Welcome Lori!

I’d Like My Dialogue Cheeseless. Please.

Like a Lactose Intolerant prefers his pizza minus the gut-churning cheese, I want my dialogue devoid of dairy.

Have you ever heard agents or editors say they flip to the first section of dialogue and if it’s cheesy, they don’t bother with the read?

Here are five signs of cheesy dialogue.

I’ve used generic NO and YES examples below and put them in italics to distinguish from my comments.

1.      Contractions.

Unless English is your second language, or your character has passed the age of eighty, almost everyone uses contractions when they speak.

NO: “We are hitting the club tonight. What is up with you not wanting to dance anymore?”

YES: “We’re hitting the club tonight. What’s up with you not wanting to dance anymore?”

Contractions make speech natural and help dialogue flow.

2.      Name Calling.

How many times do we actually say someone’s name in a conversation? Unless I’m trying to get your attention in a crowd, I’m betting rarely to never. Pay attention to your verbal interchanges and count how many times you say someone’s name in real life.

NO: “Well, Jennifer, I didn’t like his attitude.”

“Too bad, Lisa. He’s your new partner.”

YES: “I didn’t like his attitude.”

“Too bad. He’s your new partner.”

Sticking in names is a major pace-killer in any dialogue unless you’re trying to make an important point or one of your character’s idiosyncrasies is name-calling. By the way, name-calling from a psychological standpoint shows inferiority. The person doing the naming feels “less than” the other person and is grappling for the advantage. Great tip to remember in a power struggle conversation.

3.      Improper Punctuation.

When you use a dialogue tag like “said” use a comma.

NO: “Not gonna happen.” He said.

YES: “Not gonna happen,” he said.

When you use an action beat to tag the speaker, use a period.

NO: “Not gonna happen,” he slammed the mug on the desk and stomped from the office.

YES: “Not gonna happen.” He slammed the mug on the desk and stomped from the office.

Notice how adding the action tells the reader how the dialogue is spoken? He’s angry. And now we see the anger.

4.      Speaking of Tags.

Said, asked, and sometimes whispered are invisible tags. Your reader will skim over them. In this case, skimming is a good thing. The tags identify the speaker and don’t mess with the tempo.

Using any other tag is a speed bump. Using any other tag plus an “ly” adverb? That’s a tire-shredder.

NO: “I’m out of here,” she hissed.

Contrary to popular belief, people can’t actually hiss words. Unless they’re part-snake or a character from Harry Potter.

NO: “I’m out of here,” she said angrily.

YES: “I’m out of here,” she said.

YES: “I’m out of here.” She whirled in her red heels and clicked out the door.

The best one? The action showing her anger.

5.      Who Said What?

Paragraph and tag properly.

If Character A is speaking, he needs his own paragraph. That way, when Character B responds, in her own paragraph, we can follow their back-and-forth exchange of wit like a game of Championship Ping Pong.

Each player (speaker) has their own side of the table (paragraph) with the proper space (white space between paragraphs) keeping them separate.

In a quick back-and-forth, you don’t need to tag every sentence. Unless there are more than two characters speaking. Then your dialogue gets trickier.

NO: “That movie sent chills to places chills don’t belong.” Amber shuddered. “I know, right?” Leah pretended to agree. What would Amber say if she knew the truth?

YES: “That movie sent chills to places chills don’t belong.” Amber shuddered.

“I know, right?” Leah pretended to agree. What would Amber say if she knew the truth?

Stuck together, the dialogue becomes a puzzle with the wrong pieces jammed together. Separated, the conversation becomes clear.

NO: “What did you think was gonna happen? “ He held up his fingers, his face contorted in what looked like major disgust. Just watching those hands drove me wild. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

YES: “What did you think was gonna happen? “ He held up his fingers, his face contorted in what looked like major disgust.

Just watching those hands drove me wild. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

In the NO above, we’re not sure which words and thoughts belong with each speaker. Paragraphed out, the conversation leaves no confusion.

Cheesy dialogue is one-hundred-percent avoidable. Get in the habit of writing for pace. Include fragments. Read your dialogue out loud. Have someone else read your dialogue out loud.

The art of conversation is just that—an art. It’s part of the craft like anything else. Being aware of which of the five signs of cheese above marks your weakness can change the entire way you write dialogue in the future.

Is dialog hard for you? If not, do you have any other tips for us?

Lori Freeland is a Young Adult author who lives in the Dallas Area. She has a short story out in the YA volume of Wild at Heart, has published numerous articles with various e-zines, is a former editor at The Christian Pulse, and works as a writing coach for the North Texas Christian Writers. Seriously addicted to flavored coffee with just the right amount of cream and chocolate covered peanuts, she spends her days tormenting imaginary people. In her BK—before kids—life, she earned a bachelor’s degree in psychology and worked as a social worker and a dyslexic tutor. You can find Lori hanging out on Facebook, Twitter and her website—lafreeland.com.

 

 

Just a quick note: if you're getting ready to query, and are feeling overwhelmed by the prospect, Laura will be teaching an online class at Lawson's Writer's Academy beginning September 2, Submissions That Sell! You can get the details HERE.

by Sharla Rae

If we knew the next hottest genre, many of us would jump on that horse and take a ride.

But wait!

Since the 1990s, editors have chanted the same mantra, “Don’t worry about what’s hot, write the 'book of your heart.'”

Problem is, they didn’t really mean it OR we misunderstood what they meant. Many of us thought the statement meant we could write any genre we wanted as long as the book was well done with emotions that grabbed the heartstrings.

It turns out, that's not exactly true.

Oh sure, if editors receive a super book that blows them away, they “might” take a chance. But we’re talking one in a million -- especially in today’s ever-changing markets. And let’s be realistic. The economy isn’t that great. Editors want to keep their jobs and that means going with the flow and buying only the current high-earning genres.

How many of you have written the "book of your heart," only to receive a letter like this?

 Love your characters, love your plot, love your writing style, but we just can’t sell your book in the current market or it isn’t what we’re looking for.

An indie writer may choose to ignore a letter like this, but writers who want to "traditionally publish or bust" know that choosing a popular genre will probably be in their best interest.

Laurie Alice Eakes wrote about her take on this in the August issue of RWA [Romance Writers Report] in the article, It's All in Your Head: Writing from Your Heart While Writing for the Market, she wrote: "'Write from Your heart'" is the worst advice you will ever receive as a writer."

The argument goes that if a writer waits until a genre is hot, it’s already too late to catch that ride.  But look how long vampires have lasted!

This begs the question: Do publishers and agents know what the next hot genre will be?

I recently heard a young editor at a conference say that she believes watching the new wave of television programs is a very good way to predict the next hot fiction genre.

Ann Rice's book, Interview With A Vampire was made into a movie and the movie made the book more famous. From there we saw the Vampire rage take off. I suppose you could argue the age old question of which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Young people have their fingers on the pulse of everything new and I’ve seen writers follow their lead to develop popular genres. Checking into subjects of the latest and greatest YA books is definitely a consideration even for adult romance genres. Being around teens doesn’t hurt either. What entertains them? What scares them? How do they see the future? What fads are they into?

What else can we do to predict future popular genres?

They say history repeats itself, and I think this is also true in publishing.

DC Comic was founded in 1932 during the Great Depression that began in 1929. From these comics we gained Superman, Green Lantern, and other superheroes. During this difficult time, the stock markets crashed, people lost their jobs and many a family lived a hand-to-mouth existence.

Is it any wonder that young and old alike glommed onto escapism and hope in the form of fantasy and superheroes?

Along with these escapism stories came great realistic stories like Steinbeck’s Grapes of Wrath, a story of a family seeking hope in the form of jobs in California and later they hoped to better their lives and that of others, through labor unions.

Does this time period sound familiar? Could it explain why the paranormal, fantasy  and futuristics are again so popular?  Could it explain why strong women surviving tough odds in Women’s Fiction novels are so popular now? It just might.

The 30s and early 40s also had its share of sweeping technology: FM radio, stereo records, Nylon, jet engines etc. These might seem nothing compared to modern innovations, but at the time, they were every bit as important as our ever evolving computers and cell phones.

What about the more affluent, post war Fabulous Fifties? This period saw women being told they must leave their wartime jobs and return to their "traditional" roles.  Harlequin published many a romance about nurses, a traditional role for women who insisted on working outside the home. And don’t forget June Cleaver, the perfect TV mom in high heels!

Also during the 50s we saw many books and movies of teen rebellion, [Rebel Without A Cause] defiant young people who encouraged broader thinking than conservative parents who endured the depression as youngsters and then wartime. It was Sing Along With Mitch verses Elvis Presley. The dominant romances during this time were squeaky clean and most sex happened behind closed doors. But young people wanted it more real and times were changing.  So were the novels.

I could keep comparing time periods and the novels they produced, but I don’t have the time, research, or space here. Still, I think there’s at least a vague pattern that writers can see.

Perhaps choosing the next hottest genre is a matter of understanding the theme (s) of the times and choosing a genre that supports those themes and/or hopes. Who knows for sure? I don’t.

I think we can only try to understand what our readership/target audience wants, and then do our best to give it to them on a platform that best demonstrates our creative talent.

Okay, you knew I was going to ask this: What do you think the next hottest genre will be and why?  Will it make you change what you currently write?

Sharla has published three historical romance novels: SONG OF THE WILLOW, LOVE AND FORTUNE, and SILVER CARESS. SONG OF THE WILLOW, her first solo effort, was nominated by “Romantic Times Magazine” for best first historical.

When she’s not writing and researching ways to bedevil her book characters, Sharla enjoys collecting authentically costumed dolls from all over the world, traveling (to seek more dolls!), and reading tons of books. You can find Sharla here at Writers In The Storm or on Twitter at @SharlaWrites.

By Laura Drake

It sometimes seems that everything around us is negative: coworkers complain, kids whine, and don’t get me started on politics or the news. I think social media magnifies this. Hop onto Twitter and look right now – just look at the posts you can see without scrolling. We’ll wait.

You back? I’ll bet you found a liberal dose of complaints about everything from traffic, to weather, to rude people, right? Amping that is the latest trend to be snarky and deprecating. That’s okay, I guess – the pendulum swings to every point eventually.

If you follow a lot of writers, as I do, I’ll also bet that you also read people complaining about editing, submitting, and writing in general. ‘It’s so haaard!’

Well, I’m not here to be all holier than thou – I’ve done it too. I read a list of why you shouldn’t become a writer the other day (you can read it Here.) I couldn’t even argue with most of them.

I’m also not here to blow happy sparklies up your backside.

Writing IS hard.

But.  (You just knew there was going to be a ‘but,’ didn’t you?)

Yesterday I was writing and I had one of those rare moments – when you become aware of yourself and what you’re doing, from almost an omniscient point of view. When step outside your life and see yourself almost as others would see you.

There I was, creating something from nothing - playing with words, creating sentences that built to scenes that eventually become novels. I literally giggled. Is this not the best gig on the planet?

“Oh sure,” you say. “She sold. It’s easy for her to be content.” But I’m not talking about selling. I’m talking about loving the act of writing.

It took me a long time, but I finally bumbled my way onto what makes me happy, sixteen years ago. Nothing I’ve ever done has made me as joyous, as fulfilled, as complete, as creating one iridescently perfect sentence.

I’m not saying it flows out of my fingers. I’m not even saying it happens often.

But ah, when it does. You know the feeling. When you slave to capture an elusive complex emotion and you somehow manage write it fresh and new – that’s as close to heaven as I’m going to get on this earth.

I know, we all get wrapped up in the selling part. It’s the golden ring we all chase.

I live in Southern California, the land of the beautiful people. Home to 90210, the Housewives of Orange County, Hollywood. L.A., where money talks, and nobody walks. I see people every day who are trying to keep up to their neighborhood, conspicuously consuming themselves to bankruptcy. They buy into the illusion, and forget that money don’t buy you love. (wow, how many musical references can I fit in one paragraph?)

They’ve forgotten that the goal isn’t money – it’s to be HAPPY.

And the act of writing makes me happy.

I believe that if you don't love that, you'll never finish a book. If you do somehow struggle through one, it won't be saleable.

Can we all just take just a moment out of the snarkiness, the whininess, the it's-so-hardness, to rejoice in that?

I do love quotes. So I’ll leave you with a few pertinent ones:

If you don’t actually like to write, love to write, feel driven and compelled to write — then you’re probably better off abandoning your ambition in favor of a more legitimate career.” Tom Robbins

“Who wants to become a writer? And why? Because it’s the answer to everything. … It’s the streaming reason for living. To note, to pin down, to build up, to create, to be astonished at nothing, to cherish the oddities, to let nothing go down the drain, to make something, to make a great flower out of life, even if it’s a cactus.”
—Enid Bagnold

“Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor understand.”
—George Orwell

“For your born writer, nothing is so healing as the realization that he has come upon the right word.”
—Catherine Drinker Bowen

“Style means the right word. The rest matters little.”
—Jules Renard

“Long patience and application saturated with your heart’s blood—you will either write or you will not—and the only way to find out whether you will or not is to try.”
—Jim Tully, October 1923

“Let the world burn through you. Throw the prism light, white hot, on paper.”
—Ray Bradbury, WD

“I think all writing is a disease. You can’t stop it.”
—William Carlos Williams

“The difference between the almost right word and the right word is … the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.”
—Mark Twain

The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say ~Anais Nin

Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass. ~ Anton Chekhov

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. ~William Wordsworth

Laura's latest release, Her Road Home, is available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and through Harlequin.

Romantic Times gave it 4 stars:

"A minor motorcycle accident leaves builder Samantha Crozier stranded in Widow’s Grove, Ca. While she recovers, she hires mechanic Nick Pinelli to fix her bike. But while recuperating in town, she finds the house of her dreams to buy and restore, and she realizes that Nick just might be the man to go along with it. 

With realistic emotions and nicely depicted characters, this is a powerful story."