Writers in the Storm

by Fae Rowen

Backstory: I always wondered why my husband fell in love with me. He was a thirty-year-old "confirmed" bachelor when I met him. And I never intended to marry anyone. Six months after we met, we were engaged. How did that happen?

Mere weeks ago I attended a workshop that was totally different than what I thought it was going to be. Turns out, it was better than anything I could have imagined on many levels. I learned and experienced amazing things personally. But, more important for you, I got one of the best writing lessons ever as a secondary benefit.

It turns out that the class was about the four somatic attachment styles. Don't be put off because you've never heard of it. Neither had I. The information has reached "limited audiences" in the past five years, though the research started twenty years ago.

Your attachment style can be determined by answering a series of questions. If you are interested in learning more, you can visit Diane Poole Heller's website and take the short version of the quiz. (If you have trouble getting your responses accepted. Try another time.) I would highly recommend any one of these workshops; Patti Elledge was the leader for my four-day workshop.

In this first blog, I'll introduce you to the secure attachment style. In future blogs I'll share more of what I discovered about how--and why--we fall in love. And how five easy scientific facts can help you connect with your readers (and your beloved) at a deeper level. To help them fall in love with your characters as your characters fall in love with each other. Writer gold!

You began developing your attachment style when you were a baby. Consider your primary caregiver as you read the summary below. But remember, you may have a mix of styles because you bonded with many people--even pets. Your attachment style strongly influences your adult relationships.

During this workshop I realized why I ran from the first three guys who asked me to marry them. They were all great and, without a doubt, loved me. But based on my attachment style, they didn't build the bonds with me that my husband did. I guess you could say that from the cradle, I was fated to marry my husband because of my attachment style.

SECURE Attachment Style: The Gold Standard

My parents provided a secure, safe environment. They were present, consistent, protective and predictable. They were responsive and sensitive. When I needed them, they were there. They showed interest in me as I grew. Interest in what I was learning, how I thought. When I acted out, they disciplined me with love, not frustration and anger.

Believe me, I was no angel. Back in those days, discipline took the form of a spanking. But only with an open hand on the bottom. Never more than a couple of swats. And no anger afterwards; they hugged me until my tears stopped. I think I cried more from the situation than physical hurt.

My father was playful with me, gently teasing but never bullying or emotionally attacking. The teasing was a way my father showed that gleam in his eye. My mother didn't tease. She would touch my hand, pat my back, and give me "contact nutrition." They never swore at me, called me names, or said anything in anger that they'd want to take back later.

These are all hallmarks of how to develop a secure attachment style. Now I know why my favorite picture is one of me as a baby. My mother is holding me in her arms, beaming and smiling down at me. I'm returning that eye gaze and smile. I used to show people that picture and say, "Can't you feel the love?" years before The Lion King.

That soft eye gaze is the hallmark of a secure attachment between two people. Or a person and a well-loved pet. Yes, some of us grew up and received our secure attachment style from a family pet, or a teacher, or neighbor. And that's okay. As long as you experienced a secure attachment style as a young child, it's there in your body. It may be buried under years of living, but it's there--and that's what's important.

As an adult, secure attachment is displayed by a realistic optimism. A capacity for clear communication and more resiliency in recovering from stress is a bonus. In a relationship, securely attached adults protect each other from outside harm and resist harming each other. They initiate and receive attempts to repair the relationship when necessary.

As an individual, a secure attachment style means you tend to be unflappable and level-headed. You give others the benefit of the doubt when it's appropriate. And you have a working radar for danger.

Wouldn't you fall in love with someone with these characteristics? Wouldn't your character (and your readers) fall in love with someone with these traits?

You might be saying, "Wow, she had a golden childhood." Actually, I used to think so. I didn't, but because most of my time I was cared for by my parents, I'm lucky to have this as my primary attachment style. But, as you'll see in the next installment, I've got the other three styles, too. (And you probably do as well.) And those styles have played havoc with my adult life.

The good news: You can "repair" attachment styles to move them to the secure model. I can't give you four days worth of experiences and information in a blog series, but we're going to use this information to help you build character relationships in your writing. You'll see how you can build wonderful, loving relationships--and not so happy ones. And you won't have to spend hours angsting over body language cues and how to write the emotion. You'll use attachment styles. At the end of the series I'll give you a bibliography if you're interested in exploring more about this research.

Do you have tricks or problems in showing how a relationship develops believably between your characters? Have you ever wondered about your own relationships?

by Orly Konig-Lopez

Who are these people who live in your head? Where do you come up with these ideas?

You’ve heard those questions a few times, right?

A few days ago I was giving someone a quick and dirty of my new book. Quick and dirty because that’s all I have at the moment—there’s only so much I can plot and plan ahead of time.

But there are a few things that I always know before starting a new project: character names, personality traits, physical attributes, career, hobbies.

1. What’s your name?

Some characters come with names. The moment they start “talking” I know what their name will be. Others require a bit of inspiration. For them I usually turn to social media. Seriously, it’s a great excuse to hang on Twitter and Facebook. Procrastinating? Nah, researching.

I scroll until a first name jumps out that will fit one of the characters. Another pass for a last name then I say the names out loud a few times for feel—some combinations click immediately, some need tweaking. When it sounds comfortable, I think about anyone I know in “real life” whose name might be too similar. And yes, sometimes I’ll use a first or last name of someone I know as a thank you nod, but the character will never actually resemble that person.

In the manuscript I just finished, the main character’s name is Maia. Why? Because I always loved that name and wanted to name my daughter Maia. Hubs nixed that name which was moot anyway because we had a boy. But I was able to have my Maia anyway—and minimal sassing back from this one.

2. Is that your natural hair color?

Every character sketch worksheet starts with a few descriptors:

• Eye color, shape, etc.
• Hair color, length, etc.
• Height
• Weight
• Complexion
• Body build
• Unique features

It not only helps me get to know the characters, but works as a handy reference when I’m 50,000 words in and can’t remember if someone has brown eyes or green, almond shaped eyes or droopy lids, freckles or a killer dimple.

3. What’s your sign?

Okay, I don’t go down that path. But one of the first questions on my character sketch is “What makes this character interesting?”

• Did she/he have a degree in a unique field? Why did they pursue this field? Are they working in it? If not, why?
• Does she/he have a quirk or unique gift?
• What does the character like to do that would surprise those who “know” her/him?

The main character in one of my manuscripts, for example, confides in a suit of armor—an actual, metal suit of armor in a museum. When she needs perspective, she goes to the museum and talks to Sir Jean, as she calls him. He doesn’t actually talk back but her ability to work through her problems with his “help” is one of the things that makes her unique.

4. What do you do for a living?

Characters in books don’t have to pay rent—well, not literally at least; they do need to earn their keep with a good story that will hopefully sell.

My characters have held jobs that I always thought would be interesting but obviously didn’t pursue: an architect, an art restorer, an archeologist. Doing the research on those careers is half the fun.

And sometimes career ideas come out of the fridge. Literally in this case. I was totally stumped with what to do for the husband of the main character in my new book. Nothing was working. Then dinnertime came. I went to retrieve a jar of marinade and ended up with sticky fingers thanks to a leaky bottle. Voila, a marinade entrepreneur was born.

5. What do you like to do in your spare time?

There has to be more to life—even a fictional one—than working, eating, sleeping. Hobbies, we all have them. Our characters need them. And why not live vicariously through the people we’re creating.

One of my characters runs on the beach. I don’t live by the beach, but I can get on the treadmill, and with my eyes closed and brain cells working, I’m there. Then sit down and write that scene.

Love the idea of knitting but can’t get your fingers and brain to work together? Have a character who knits beautiful hats and sells them at craft shows.

Maybe all writers have a little Dr. Frankenstein in us. Mary Shelley’s novel was the first that made me dream about writing. But since I write Women’s Fiction, I hope none of my characters will send the villagers screaming into the night.

A few resources that might come in handy:

• http://www.parents.com/baby-names/popular/
• http://baby-names.familyeducation.com/popular-names/girls/
• http://baby-names.familyeducation.com/popular-names/boys/
• http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/
• http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/top5names.html
• http://nameoftheyear.blogspot.com/
• http://jobs.lovetoknow.com/The_100_Best_Jobs_and_Careers
• 45 Master Characters: Mythic Models for creating Original Characters by Victoria Lynn Schmidt

So tell me, how you do decide on names or careers or hobbies for your characters? What other questions do you ask your characters?

About Orly

After years of pushing the creativity boundary in corporate communications, Orly decided it was time for a new challenge. Three women’s fiction manuscripts later (plus a handful of picture books), it’s safe to say she’s found her creative outlet.

Orly’s manuscripts have finalled in seven contests including the Wisconsin Romance Writers “Fab Five” and the Greater Seattle Romance Writers of America’s “Emerald City Opener.” She’s currently querying her most recent manuscript, THE DAY THE MERRY-GO-ROUND STOPPED.

When she’s not talking to her imaginary friends, she’s reading or at least trying to ignore everyone around her long enough to finish “just one more paragraph.” Orly has also joined forces with some amazing women’s fiction authors to launch the Women’s Fiction Writers Association.

You can find Orly on Twitter at @OrlyKonigLopez or on her website, www.orlykoniglopez.com.

by Fae Rowen

As writers, we can use our lives to fuel our stories in many ways--from plots, to characters, to emotional journeys. This means that our daily lives become a field of rich experience to mine for writing gold. Let me share an excursion that resulted in unexpected treasure for my WIP.

Because I didn't want to go by myself, I talked Laura Drake into going on a "field trip" with me to a small local museum. Lucky for me, she was willing to look at movie costumes and jewelry. I was excited by the visions of jewels and period clothing and never even considered that I'd receive a writing lesson amidst all the finery and shimmer.

In Madeleine Albright's Read My Pins display, we ooh'd and ahh'd over the diplomat's broaches, just a small part of her whole collection. Gold, jewels, and spectacular designs combined with commentary about when--and with whom--the pieces were worn. Many displays included newspaper pictures with attendant articles reporting the politics behind the meetings.

The display was small, but well put-together. The word "tight" came to mind and I thought how I always end up cutting words from my critique partners WIPs  to tighten the action.

Lesson 1: Check that every scene carries its weight. That it has essential elements of plot, characterization and emotion. Scenes will have these elements weighted differently, but every scene must be crucial to your story. Be ruthless. Even if you really like your clever writing or the snippet of story you told, if it doesn't move your characters or plot to the next "offramp," you have to edit it but either cutting or revising it. Try this: If you can cut a scene and not lose a plot point, a piece of the character arc, or an emotional connection to the reader, ask yourself what's missing. (This is a great tool for that saggy middle!)

We moved on to Cut!, a display of period costumes from movies. At first we focused on the tiny waists. Each outfit was labeled with the movie and the actor or actress who wore the piece. We soon moved to the detail of the costume, as well as discovering an appreciation for the hat, gloves, cape, or jewelry that showed "the look" from the movie.  I hadn't seen most of the movies represented with costumes, but I wished I had.

And I had my second  Aha! moment. Good editing made me want more. I had just watched the Oscar red carpet shows. The Fashion pundits commented on what made a winning outfit, and it seemed that less is often more. This goes not only for an outfit (always remove one piece of jewelry before you walk out the door) but also for writing.

Lesson 2: More description isn't always better. Pare down the details by careful word choice. This helps with pacing by not bogging down your reader. This is one reason why we are all reminded to "Show, don't tell."

We recently had a blog about making scenes do double duty. Well, words can do double duty. If you are trying to describe a child's behavior consider the differences between disobedient, mischievous, and playful. If you show a child's behavior as seen through your adult character's thoughts, the word you choose shows us your character's mindset and could even give a window into backstory. With just one word.

Back to the museum. We moved on to the Faberge exhibit, which we saved for last. I'd seen a Faberge Egg exhibit fifteen years ago at the Reagan Library, and I toured his workshop in St. Petersburg. This was the real reason I wanted to visit the museum. I would have bought a ticket just for this exhibit.

There were lots of priceless jewels and gold. Though at first I was disappointed by the room's size, it was the largest of the three exhibits with cases sandwiched close together to fill the room. And lots of people crowding around those cases. Some patrons were shepherded around the room by docents who shared interesting tidbits of information. (Did you know that Faberge's enameling process died with him and no one has been able to duplicate it?) We viewed not only crowns, necklaces, eggs, and pins, but gift boxes, cigarette cases, and statues. A stunning wealth of sparkle and beauty.

And it was not my favorite exhibit.

I felt disappointed and wondered why. I could not have soaked up one more case of Faberge genius, so I couldn't have wanted more. Why not? Though I would be hard pressed to pick pieces to omit from the displays, the show was not as well-edited as the other two. It overwhelmed my senses with its brilliance and diversity. But it wasn't cohesive. It had no "theme."

Lesson 3: No matter how brilliant your individual words or scenes may be, they must make your reader want to keep reading. A dazzling phrase here, an amazing analogy there is not enough to maintain interest to keep someone turning the pages. You want your readers to feel the emotions your characters feel, because that's what will lead to a satisfying conclusion for them. That's what will make them buy your next book. Yes, plot points, character arcs, black moments are necessary building blocks of our craft. Every time you sit down to write, you hone your craft--if you are conscious about wielding and sharpening your tools. It's okay to be a pantster like me, but you have to be sure all the elements are there to make you story compelling.

We passed through a long hall where eight Tibetan thangkas hung on the walls. If you've ever seen Tibetan artwork, you understand when I say we stood before the eight-foot high wall coverings and marveled at the small details repeated thousands of times to produce the picture. Tiny brush strokes delicately affixed gold leaf in the narrowest of bands around a lotus. And the last piece of my editing lesson fell into place.

Lesson 4: Our writing is filled with everything we have to offer. All our craft, skillful plotting, and word-smithing combine with who we are to produce our books. And unless we take the time and care to edit our display, the brilliance of our efforts may not shine as brightly as it could. We can muddy our prose with strokes that are too big or "gold leaf" that distracts from the subtleties that readers love to find in our work.

I remember the words of one of the directors of a musical I was in. He was talking to me about one of my solo songs and "singing my heart out." He said that was a good thing, but he cautioned me to remember to make my audience want more. In writing, that translates to a page turner.

I have to admit, I've never been a fan of editing. Editing means I didn't write it right the first time, and I don't like to admit that. (Yes, I know better, but old perfectionist traits die hard!) But good editing can be the difference between a page-turner and just another book. In fact, thoughtful editing just might help make a sale. And don't we all want that?

It seems like I've been buried forever in the editing (at times it feels like a total re-write) process for my WIP. But thank goodness Laura and I went to the museum and I wanted just one more costume. I'm actually beginning to enjoy the editing process--and I can see how it is improving my book.

What are your thoughts on editing? Love it or hate it? Do you have editing tips that work well for you?