Writers in the Storm

This will be the only post here at Writers in the Storm until next Monday. We're leaving for the RWA 2012 Conference in Anaheim tomorrow.

BUT we'll be tweeting and Facebooking during the conference so those of you who aren't able to get to the Happiest Place on Earth will be able to experience some of the flavor and fun of the workshops, luncheons, mini conferences, and meet-and-greets.

Pre-conference activities:

Jenny Hansen, Fae Rowen, and Margie Lawson had dinner then worked together to construct a basket for the Kiss of Death Chapter's pre-conference meeting and dinner on Tuesday night.

Awesome goodies in the basket include three certificates from Margie - a lecture packet, one of Margie's online courses (valued at $40) and a 25 page triple-pass deep edit from Margie!

Here's a picture of Jenny and the basket.

Today, Laura Drake and Fae are taking Margie to Laguna Beach for sand, surf and the Sawdust Festival.

At Conference
Margie will be presenting Deep Editing Power at the Women's Fiction Mini Conference on Wednesday. On Friday at 4:30 p.m. her topic is In Media Res: A How-to Guide to Making Your Openings Pop.

We also begged asked Margie if she'd blog today so she could be with you guys ALL week while we go dark here at WITS.

If you've never read one of Margie's posts, you're in for a major treat. Whether you're a reader or a writer, you will love Margie Lawson. She has a way of breaking down a scene...we'll get out of the way so you can see her magic for yourself.

**********

A giant hug to Writers In The Storm
for inviting me to be their guest for Conference Week!

Put Your Reader in Your POV Character's Skin
By Margie Lawson

Readers read for emotional impact.

Readers want to immerse themselves in the story world. They want to feel emotion.

We’ve all read books that should have emotionally engaged us, but didn’t. Why not?

One answer is the strength of the writing. Strong writing carries psychological power that speaks to the reader’s subconscious.

Sheesh!

Did you catch my meaning? Here’s that sentence again:
Strong writing carries psychological power that speaks to the reader’s subconscious.

How do you add psychological power?
How do you speak to the reader’s subconscious?

That’s what my writing craft courses cover. I teach writers how to add psychological power and speak to the reader’s subconscious on every page.

I’ll analyze some excerpts and share a few deep editing points here. Please keep in mind what I cover in this blog is the itty-bitty tippy point of my teaching iceberg. An iceberg that is three miles deep.

Here’s that sentence one more time. This time, I’ll continue.

Strong writing carries psychological power that speaks to the reader’s subconscious. Strong writing is smooth and empowered. Strong writing creates page turners.

Here is an example from historical author Elizabeth Essex, The Danger of Desire. Elizabeth is a multi-Margie Grad and Immersion Master Class Grad too.

The Danger of Desire is set in London, November, 1799. Here’s a three-paragraph excerpt from page 3.

Meggs flexed her hands on the handle of her basket and wiped her fingers dry on the inside of her apron, swallowing the jitters that crawled up her throat. It would work. It always worked. Drunks were easy. Easy as taking gin from a dead whore. She gauged the distance and picked up speed, keeping even pace with the rising hammer of her heart, aiming to reach them just as they left the watery circle of lamplight. She’d be in the dark, and they’d never see her until it was too late.

Three yards to go. Two. Eyes and ears stretched open, blind to everything but the waistcoat pocket and deaf from the roaring of her blood, she put her head down and plowed right into them.

And it was dead easy. A turn of her body, a firm shove with the prickly reed basket, and the culls were separated and falling. And there she was, patient as the saints, waiting for the precise moment when his purse eased into her waiting hand, like a ripe plum plucked from a tree.

Deep Editing Analysis:

1. Compelling Cadence: Every sentence propels the reader into the next sentence.

2. Rhetorical Devices:

Three similes:

• Easy as taking gin from a dead whore
• patient as the saints
• like a ripe plum plucked from a tree.

Metaphor: rising hammer of her heart

Anadiplosis: Drunks were easy. Easy as taking gin from a dead whore.

Alliteration – Last sentence: patient, precise, purse, plum, picked

3. Five Visceral Responses:

• sweaty fingers
• jitters in throat
• heart hammering
• vision narrowed
• hearing roaring of her blood

4. Braided Scene Components: action, internalizations, body language, setting, visceral responses . . .

5. Power Words: jitters, drunk, dead whore, hammer, dark, blind, deaf, roaring, dead, falling

6. Sentence Structure: Varied. And the last two sentences start with “And.” They draw the reader in deeper.

7. Conflict/Tension - Throughout

The second excerpt is from Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead,  released January 31, 2012. Darynda is a multi-Margie grad too.

Here’s an excerpt from page 32.

FYI: Charley is a private investigator, and the Grim Reaper. Charley’s dad says the first line.

“I want you to quit the investigations business.”

Though his statement was only slightly less welcome than chlamydia, I had to give him kudos for using the direct approach. For a former detective who’d retired with honors, he could be the most evasive man in my immediate gene pool, so this was a nice change.

But give up my business? The same business I’d built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis Vuittons? The same business for which I’d sacrificed blood, sweat, and tears? Well, maybe not sweat and tears, but there was blood. Lots of blood.

Give it up? Not likely. Besides, what else would I do? I totally should’ve gone to Hogwarts when I had the chance.

I shifted in my chair as Dad waited for a response. He seemed determined, his resolve unwavering. This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds.

“Are you psychotic?” I asked, realizing my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window the minute I opened my mouth.

“Charley—”

“Dad, no. I can’t believe you’re even asking this of me.”

“I’m not asking.” His sharp tone brought me up short, and all the huffing and puffing that had built beneath the surface slammed into me, knocking my breath away. Was he serious?

Deep Editing Analysis:

1. How many Humor Hits did Darynda give the reader in that 233 word excerpt?

* less welcome than Chlamydia
* the most evasive man in my immediate gene pool
* built from the ground up with my own two hands and designer Louis Vuittons?
* not sweat and tears, but there was blood. Lots of blood.
* I totally should’ve gone to Hogwarts
* This would take tact. Prudence. Possibly Milk Duds.
* my plan to charm and bribe him if need be flew out the window

Seven Humor Hits in one page.

2. We learned Dad’s back story in one sentence.
3. Every line in the excerpt is cadence-driven.
4. Visceral Response: slammed into me, knocking my breath away.
5. Varied sentence lengths, and sentence frags.
6. Conflict/Tension – Throughout

One more excerpt. This one is from a YA by Lara Chapman, Flawless. Lara Chapman is a multi-Margie Grad, and an Immersion Master Class grad too.

Chapter One

I love the first day of school. There’s nothing like a new start. New clothes, new classes, new goals. And maybe, just maybe, the possibility of meeting a new guy.

Especially when you’re a senior in high school.

With a last glance at the ensemble I’ve put together for my last first day of high school and a mental kiss to the hair gods for my stunning naturally blond wavy hair, I close my bedroom door then dance downstairs.

Where I slam headfirst into reality.

Next to my “You Are Special Today” plate, a tradition my mother started on my first day of kindergarten, polished silverware sits on top of a rhinoplasty brochure.

No napkin. Just the brochure.

I ignore my mother’s watchful eyes. “Real subtle, Mom.” I move the silverware, then flick the glossy trifold with the tip of my finger, scoring a beautiful two-pointer as it lands in the silver and black trash can.

I totally hate the word rhinoplasty. How can you not think of a disgusting two-ton mammal when you hear that word?

Just call it what it is – a nose job.

Spatula in one hand, she pops the other onto her hip. “Just a suggestion, Sarah.”

“Yet still offensive. Couldn’t you have waited until, like, the second day of school to start in on me?” I stab the tasteless egg white omelet on my plate, wishing there were some crispy strips of bacon sitting next to it. It’s hard to believe I was actually born to this health-conscious runway-worthy woman. Being a Burke can be a serious pain in the butt.

“I only want what’s best for you. Now that you’re a senior, you’re old enough to make those changes we’ve always talked about.”

I drop the fork to my plate. “Not we, Mom. You. I don’t recall asking for the privilege of having some whack chop away at the nose you gave me. Just because you changed yours when you were eighteen doesn’t mean I have to.”

The honest truth is that I never would have requested this particular nose, but I’ve spent seventeen years learning to accept it.

“Sarah…” Mom stares at me, the wheels of her brain churning at top speed while her own omelet sizzles in the abandoned skillet. She doesn’t have to say what I know she’s thinking. How in the world will Beth Burke’s daughter ever follow in her news broadcasting footsteps with a honker the size of a Buick?

BLOG GUESTS: Are you in Sarah’s skin? Do you feel what she feels?

It’s your turn. The excerpt above is for YOU to analyze.

You’ve read two deep editing analyses. They share points regarding what writers can do to add psychological power, to speak to the reader’s subconscious, and put the reader in the POV character’s skin.

If you have questions about my courses, or Immersion Master Class, please ask!

If you like, post a comment and share a deep editing point from the excerpt from Flawless, by Lara Chapman. Or – post a comment and say Hi!

I hope to see you at the RWA Conference.

Margie Lawson—psychotherapist, editor, and international presenter—developed innovative editing systems and deep editing techniques used by writers, from newbies to NYT Bestsellers. She teaches writers how to edit for psychological power, how to hook the reader viscerally, how to create a page-turner.

Thousands of writers have learned Margie’s psychologically-based deep editing material. In the last seven years, she presented over sixty full day Master Classes for writers in the U.S., Canada, Australia, and New Zealand.

Upcoming classes at Lawson Writer's Academy include:

• Writing Compelling Scenes taught by Shirley Jump
• Fab 30 in 40 days:Advanced Deep Editing, a Master Class taught by Margie Lawson
• Steampunk A-Z taught by Suzie Lazear
• Panning for Gold: Self-Publishing for Do It Yourselfers taught by Lisa Norman
• The EDITS System: Turning Troubled Scenes Into Winners taught by Margie Lawson

For more information on Lawson Writer’s Academy, lecture packets, full day master classes, and the 5-day Immersion Master Class sessions offered in her Colorado mountain-top home, visit: www.MargieLawson.com.

We're happy to welcome back multi-published author Linda O. Johnston to Writers in the Storm today. For those of you who won't be able to see her at conference, she's bringing conference to you in this post.

by Linda O. Johnston

Like many of you, I’ll be attending the RWA National Conference next week.  I’ll mostly be wearing my romance writer’s (invisible) hat while I’m there, although I also write cozy mysteries.  In fact, I’ll be talking about both genres on my panel at 2:00 PM on Friday afternoon about how to Sell a Series You're Passionate About.

One thing I love about both genres is that they both contain... romance.   Or at least cozies can contain love interests, though in a different manner from romance novels.  As a lover of both mystery and romance in a story, I make sure that all of my mysteries contain romance, and all of my romances contain suspense or mystery.

How do the romance aspects of those two genres differ?

Well, in romances, the relationship between the hero and heroine is paramount to the story.  Even if they get embroiled in difficult plot situations--murder, fleeing for their lives, whatever--the story must lead to a happily-ever-after (HEA) with respect to the romance.  Of course the suspense or mystery aspects, if any, also need to be wrapped up satisfactorily by the end.  But a lot of the story focuses on the standard, important elements of romances: a hero and heroine, their internal and external conflicts, how they overcome those conflicts no matter what else is going on around them, and then that vital HEA.

In mysteries, cozy or not, the most important thing is for the protagonist to jump into solving the murder or other crime and reach a satisfying resolution to it by the end of the book.  Cozies often revolve around themes or small towns or both.  They are very character-driven, and what happens to all the people in them--particularly the protagonist-- is vital to each story.  The protagonist often stars in a number of stories within the series, and in each one she (the protagonist is usually female in cozies) stumbles into murder situations that she must leap in and solve.  Give the protagonist a love interest?  Why not!  As I said, the stories are very character driven, and the protagonist’s friends, including her guy friends, help keep readers interested and waiting for the next in the series.  But unlike in romances, what happens with the love interest does not need to be resolved in the first story in the series, the second, or any of them.  The course of true love in cozies doesn’t always run smooth!

So how do I incorporate those differences in my own writing?

My first Harlequin Romantic Suspense UNDERCOVER SOLDIER is a July release.  In it, the heroine, devastated to hear that a man she’d loved and lost had been killed in Afghanistan , started researching what happened to him... and is confronted in her apartment by him when he appears and demands that she stop investigating him online.  His identity has purposely been switched with someone else’s so he can go undercover to investigate a company that might have been involved in his “death.”  The romance is, of course, that couple getting back together again.  The suspense involves the danger to both of them because of the heroine’s snooping and the investigation the hero is conducting.   It won’t give anything away here to reveal that I wrap both of them up by the end and, yes, there’s an HEA with the hero and heroine.  It is a Harlequin romance, after all!

My current cozy mystery series, the Pet Rescue Mysteries, center around--what else?--a protagonist who lives to rescue pets.  She runs a no-kill pet shelter, and she and her friends always seem to get involved in murders relating to saving animals.  She was married twice and has two college-age kids.  Her first husband died and she married again to give her kids a dad--but that second marriage was a mistake, so she’s not interested in another relationship.  But I do introduce her to a very special animal control officer in the first book in the series... and, yes, they start a relationship but it’s slow growing.  Not even I know for sure how it’ll work out.

Then there are my Harlequin Nocturnes--another romance series.   Nocturnes are paranormal romances, and I write a mini-series under the Nocturne line about a covert military unit of shapeshifters.  Yes, it’s a series, but because it’s a series under the romance genre each story must stand alone with respect to the romance--and have a HEA for the hero and heroine.  Mine always contain suspense or mystery and they must be wrapped up, too, since the next book in the mini-series may refer to what happened in this novel but can’t be an evolving new chapter in the same story.

Whatever you’re writing, if it contains a romance you need to determine what its status will be at the end of your story--and make sure that, whatever it is, it works for the genre or subgenre you’re writing in.

And, hey, if you are at RWA National next week, I hope to see you there!

Linda O. Johnston is the author of 31 published novels, with more to come.  She currently writes the Pet Rescue Mysteries for Berkley Prime Crime, a spinoff series from her Kendra Ballantyne, Pet-Sitter mysteries, also for Berkley .   The first Pet Rescue Mystery, BEAGLEMANIA, is part of the Penguin Group’s Read Humane Program promoting animal rescue and the Humane Society of the U.S. , and its spokesperson is Nora Roberts.  The second Pet Rescue Mystery THE MORE THE TERRIER, was an October 2011 release, and the third, HOUNDS ABOUND, was an April 2012 release. Linda additionally writes paranormal romance for Harlequin Nocturne--the Alpha Force miniseries about a covert military unit of shapeshifters, and her first Harlequin Romantic Suspense, UNDERCOVER SOLDIER, is a July 2012 release.

Romance Writers of America®
32nd Annual Conference
Anaheim Marriott®
July 25-28, 2012

Welcome back to Part 2 of our RWA12 Conference series. If you missed Part 1, click here.

All of us at Writers In The Storm live here in Orange County, which makes this year's RWA conference more exciting than most for us. It also means we feel the need to extend the red carpet to all our online pals and share some of our favorite places with you.

You can't come to Orange County, California and never  leave the hotel. Right???

Below are the best tips from the comments of the first post, along with several of our very favorite places in the OC. Maybe you'll only get to visit one of them, but we guarantee you'll enjoy yourself. :-)

First, the tips...

1. Use Anaheim Resort Transportation to get around with less expense.

One of the nicest things about Anaheim is the Anaheim Resort Transportation system (ART). These are buses that go all over the city, with various routes stopping at different hotels. Here’s a map: http://www.rideart.org/individual/

You can buy passes at any kiosk and they run about every 20 minutes on each route. They go to Disneyland where you can pick up one to take you to other parts of Anaheim, for church, cheaper food or whatever.

Cost: 1 Day=$4 / 3 Day=$10 / 5 Day=$16
There are reduced rates for seniors or the disabled.

2. RWA National is serving several meals

Just because we're recommending other sights to see doesn't mean we won't be eating at the conference when the opportunity arises. This is the chance for SERIOUS networking and you paid for it. Take advantage of it!

Laura Drake was kind enough to post the schedule of events (which includes meals!): http://www.rwa.org/cs/rwa_annual_conference/schedule_of_events/schedule

3. Disneyland isn't the only theme park in town.

TheART buses I mention above will take you to Knott's Berry Farm if you've a yen to go and there are also buses to Universal Studios though I'm sure they cost a bit more. It's a pretty safe bet that if you wanted to go to Sea World, the Zoo or Legoland in San Diego that you'd be able to get there too. Just Google it.

Now, the sights...

Where do we love to go during peak summer season here in Orange County?

I hate to say this to the person who has dreamed of going to Disneyland their entire lives, but hardly any locals go to the theme parks during the summer. It's hot and crowded and the lines are unbelievable. We go to these places during the winter.

During the summer, we go to the beach!! Our faves are:

1. Laguna Beach

Whether it's the Art-A-Fair, the Sawdust Festival or the Pageant of the Masters, summer in Laguna is special. If you're not into the arts, there's shops and plenty of beach front. And when the tourists aren't swarming, the locals pop into Las Brisas on the cliffs for a cocktail and some appetizers on the patio at sunset.

2. Crystal Cove

If you're a fan of old beach-y movies, you're going to dig the 1930's feel of Crystal Cove. From Beaches to Treasure Island to an old Joan Crawford flick called Rain, Crystal Cove is steeped in movie history. There's also trails, tidepools, miles of beach, a store and a museum. Plus, a damn fine restaurant called the Beachcomber Cafe (see below) and a bar.

3. Balboa

As long as you take the back roads to Balboa Island, rather than sitting in the long line of cars to the Peninsula, getting to Balboa is fairly easy. We all agreed that there's something magic about walking onto the ferry and taking it from the island to the Fun Zone. We guarantee it will live up to its name.

[If you plan to visit Balboa, ask for "the back way" in the comments. I'll be happy to share.]

Our favorite, most memorable dining experiences include:

1. Sunset on the patio at the Orange Hill Restaurant

What makes this so fun? A great view, good food and turbo-cool outdoor firepits! Best of all, it's within 10 miles of the conference hotel. Their Sunday brunch is one of the best in Orange County but be sure to call for reservations.

2. The Beachcomber Cafe at Crystal Cove

Hubby and I love going here, alone or with friends as it never disappoints. The Beachcomber is one of my favorite breakfast places and I promise you dig the food, whatever time of day you come.

Wear comfy shoes because you want to walk the trails between where you park your car and the restaurant. (There's a shuttle for $1/person as well.) The trails along the cliffs above the beach have one of the best beach views in the OC!

Plan to wait up to an hour for a table (it's quicker if it's early or you offer to sit inside) and just enjoy the tidepools and the atmosphere. If you prefer to sit on the patio, they provide blankets on the back of each chair that say, "I was stolen from the Beachcomber Cafe!"

Tip: If you buy something from the restaurant or store, they will validate the $15 parking.

3. The restaurants around the Huntington Beach pier

Several national surfing competitions are held on the beach next to this pier and H.B. has more than earned it's nickname "Surf City USA." It's known for it's miles and miles of beachfront, fantastic ocean front dining and a hopping bar scene.

The Longboard Restaurant and Pub, located in the oldest building in Huntington Beach, is a favorite local downtown hangout known for its backyard patio and vast menu and you can’t beat the ocean views at Duke’s, Ruby’s, Spark Woodfire Grill and Fred’s Mexican Café. Be sure to make a reservation on Open Table to avoid the wait.

4. The old Date Shack (now Ruby's Shake Shack)

Set on Pacific Coast Highway, above Crystal Cove, this place is a classic! Here's video, in case you want to see it yourself. And the shakes? To die for!

That ought to get you started on cool beach spots in the OC. Please do recommend other fun spots in the comments!

Remember, some of us are going to the RWA-Women's Fiction Chapter Mini-Conference on Wednesday, July 25th. Some of us are going to RWA's National Conference that runs from July 25-28th. (Laura Drake and Sharla Rae are going to both.) Regardless, if you see us, PLEASE stop us and say "hi."

Did I leave out anything important? Do you have other suggestions, hot spots or conference tips to share? Do any of the Anaheim residents have specific recommendations? We'd love to hear about it!

Jenny

About Jenny Hansen

Jenny fills her nights with humor: writing memoir, women’s fiction, chick lit, short stories (and chasing after her toddler Baby Girl). By day, she provides training and social media marketing for an accounting firm. After 15 years as a corporate software trainer, she’s digging this sit down and write thing.

When she’s not at her blog, More Cowbell, Jenny can be found on Twitter at JennyHansenCA or here at Writers In The Storm. Every Saturday, she writes the Risky Baby Business posts at More Cowbell, a series that focuses on babies, new parents and high-risk pregnancy.