Okay, Jenny Hansen is blog mistress this month, which means that things get a little wild sometimes here at WITS.
I have to admit that I freaked out when I saw my next blog assignment:
Tarot and conference.
"Is Jenny crazy? She want's me to write aboutwhat?"
I fire off an e-mail. "You mean the RWA National Conference in Anaheim in July?!"
Yep.
My mind spirals off into another galaxy - far, far from my everyday life....
Here's what I fear:
Me sitting in the bar (which I hate to do--I'm no good at socializing) holding a deck of tarot cards. Jenny working the crowd, pulling in victims writers from all over. Lines snaking around the lobby.
In this horror flick, I look like a deer caught in the headlights, waiting for someone to approach me. I feel like a Class A-WooWoo-Weirdo. What if some editor or agent wants a reading...? CUT!
Very few people know I read tarot cards.
And runes. And the I Ching.
I've been reading since I was sixteen, but just for trusted friends. Occasionally. (Ok, rarely these days.) After all, can you imagine the looks I'd get at work if they knew the mathematician participated in a non-provable activity? An occult proceeding? Can you say SCORN?
Well, they will now if they read this blog. (Which, thank goodness, they won't.) Or if Jenny has her way in getting my "WooWoo" out of the closet. She wants a post on crystals too...says writers need to know these things for their "research."
My experience in mixing my private hobbies with my everyday life:
Years ago, as a wedding present I reluctantly agreed to be one of the reception "activities" at a friend's wedding. This friend was in a circle outside my usual acquaintances, or I never would have considered his request.
I sat at a table and read at the reception. For three solid hours. I'd never done anything like that before. Never read for strangers and never so many people. You would have thought I was giving away free money by looking at the constant line of people chatting and waiting.
I never saw the buffet table. I didn't even get a piece of cake. In fact, when I finished with the last person, I looked around and the space was already cleaned up. And I had thought no one would visit my little table.
For months people I didn't know would come up to me in the grocery store, in a parking lot, in the mall--and want to talk about their reading. I didn't know these people! And I certainly didn't remember what their cards had said.
Is Jenny really suggesting I do readings at Conference??
My brain is sufficiently spasmed by the e-mail that I need verbal communication. I call Jenny.
"Yes, I need two blogs from you."
"Just blogs? Two? Right now?"
"No, one in May and one in June."
"About what?"
"Didn't you get the e-mail? One about WooWoo in May -- tarot, crystals, whatever you want -- and one about you and conference in June."
My brain begins the long journey back from that far, far away galaxy.
I hear Jenny buzzing in my ear: "Fae, are you there? Can you write them?"
You bet'cha. Two separate posts? Nothing about Tarot in the conference post? Whoopee! I feel like a pardoned prisoner on death row.
But I have to admit. As I consider sitting at the bar in the Marriott this summer, it wouldn't hurt to have a deck, or two, in my pocket. It might even be fun. I'd certainly meet more people this way than my usual seventh-grade wallflower routine. Trouble is, I wouldn't remember anything afterwards.
That's why Jenny, Laura, and Sharla would need to sit at the table with me. I'll just need to find a good wig and sunglasses. And borrow someone else's nametag.
In the meantime, I'll write something about reading Tarot for May and my previous conference experiences for June.
If you attend the RWA National Conference in Anaheim this July and see me in the bar, act like you never read this post.
Has someone ever asked you to write something that made you terrified? Like you were hanging the naked you out for the world to see? Did you write it? (And you survived??) Do you have out-of-the-way talents that creep into your writing? What are they?
When romance writers create a Happily-Ever-After tale, there has to be more to the relationship than simply LUST between the hero and heroine. As many a woman has discovered in real life, lust doesn’t last forever. (Shh, don’t tell my husband!)
Whether you are writing an Erotic Romance, an Inspirational Romance or anything in between, you need to deepen that relationship to make the ‘forever’ believable.
Here are some of the elements you can show to convince your readers.
The hero is great with kids; we’d all want him to be the father of our children.
If there are simply no children around, you can fake the same message by having the hero be kind to dogs, cats or assorted other animals, particularly if they’re injured.
The hero protects/defends heroine from her enemies.
The hero’s actions are mentally heroic; he is a truth teller and/or has integrity in spite of possible negative repercussions to his own life.
The hero has the ability to have fun, or enhances the heroine’s sense of fun.
The heroine empathizes with the hero’s past, his problems, or his possible future; she senses his emotional needs and wants to fill them.
The hero and heroine share either common interests or values, or both, often in spite of apparent or superficial differences.
The hero intuitively understands and meets the heroine’s needs, both emotionally and in a sexual way (at the sensual level appropriate for your book). (Remember, we’re talking fantasy here.)
The hero talks to the heroine, revealing more of himself than he ever has before. That makes him vulnerable.
The hero admires/respects what the heroine does/is, and lets her know it, either directly or through his actions.
The heroine learns from others that the hero is a worthy person.
In terms of personality or emotional strength (not in a materialistic way), the hero/heroine provides what is lacking in the other.
The hero puts the heroine first and is willing to sacrifice something important for her – and she will sacrifice for him.
While all of these elements lend themselves to one or more scenes, they don’t have to all be in every story. Nor can you simply throw one or two in just for the fun of it.
Every element in your story must be integrated and evolve from the characters and plot.
Your readers want to believe this relationship you’ve created will last forever. Give them good reasons to keep the faith–and your book.
Did I leave any tried and true methods off the list? What is your favorite way to employ "Show Don't Tell" in your writing?
Happy writing, Char
Books that leave you smiling
Big Sky Family, Love Inspired, 10/19/2011 Montana Love Letter, Love Inspired, 10/2012 2011
Book Buyers Best Finalist www.CharlotteCarter.com
Writers In The Storm is delighted to welcome Janice Hardy to our blog. This ex-Writer's Digest instructor knows her stuff - if you're not already following her blog, The Other Side of the Story, you are missing out on an amazing writing resource!
She's even agreed to visit with us again next month, so please help us heap love and thanks upon her in the comments section. :-)
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When you think about it, everything in a book is description, because the author is describing an entire story to you. But when it gets down to the actual details of what’s in that story, it’s not uncommon for things to bog down into the minutia of what something looks like. Looks aren’t nearly as important as the reasons behind why that item is there to be seen in the first place.
The bulk of your descriptions are likely to be in the setting. Describing the world, the locations your protag visits and moves through, the things they touch and use. But if you just throw them in there, they become as flat and lifeless as backdrops on a stage. Description does nothing to move a story forward on its own. It’s how it interacts with the characters that makes or breaks it. You want details that breathe life into both your characters and your setting.
Making Details Come Alive
Let’s take a few random details in a scene. Rain, a clock, a restaurant, a window, pancakes, and an envelope. You might have a passage like:
The rain poured down the window of the restaurant. Bob sat at the table, a stack of pancakes beside him. He stared at an envelope in his hands, while above him on the wall, a clocked ticked.
It’s not bad, but it has no life to it. The details do nothing to tell us more than what this scene looks like. Is Bob happy? Sad? Do you care what might be in that envelope? Probably not.
Now, let’s turn those same backdrop details into living details by thinking about:
1. Who’s doing the looking?
A Navy SEAL will look at things a lot differently than a scared girl. Take the knowledge and attitude of your point of view character into account when you decide what they see. Think about how they would describe something, not how you would.
Navy SEAL: The rain beat against the restaurant window like rounds from an Uzi. Bob sat at the table, back against the wall, a stack of uneaten pancakes beside him. He gripped the envelope tighter with every tick of the clock above him. New orders. Great.
Girl: Rain covered the window, masking the tiny restaurant with its blurriness. Bobbi slouched at the table, her head barely higher than the stack of pancakes beside her. The envelope lay in her lap. She didn’t want to touch it, let alone open it. She glanced at the clock and sighed. Running out of time.
Same details, but notice how different these are from the first backdrop one. There’s a sense of who the point of view character is and what problem they might be facing.
2. Why are they looking at it?
Sometimes you scan a room, sometimes you’re watching for something in particular, and sometimes you’re looking to escape with your life. Your reasons for looking impact what you see and how you feel about it. If your protagonist has no feelings at all about something, why is it in the scene? While not every detail has to matter at this level, using details to bring out an emotion or thought from your protagonist helps make the setting more memorable. It won’t just be details.
Example: It was still raining. Why did it always rain when these things happened? Bob sat at the table, a stack of “have to order or get out” pancakes beside him. The envelope lay next to it with just as much obligation on a single neatly folded letter inside. He glanced out the window and sighed. Stuck in a stinking roadside restaurant today of all days. Figured.
Can you tell Bob has to do something he doesn’t want to do? Does his pessimism and frustration come through? And all because of why he saw what was there and how he felt about it.
3. What is important to them?
People notice what’s important to them. What’s important to your protagonist? Both in general and in that scene. A girl obsessed with fashion might indeed notice what everyone is wearing, while a tired mom might not. Spending time on details that mean nothing to your protagonist (or seem weird for your protagonist to care about) risks pulling the reader out of the story.
Example: Rain pattered against the restaurant window like tiny running feet. Bob sat at the table, smiling a dumb happy grin, the stack of pancakes beside him. He looked at an envelope again. How could one letter make everything so much better? The clock ticked and he hummed along with it. “It’s mine, it’s mine, it’s mine.”
Any guesses as to what might be in that letter? The envelope and what’s in it are what matter to Bob, and the rest of the details are just there. But here, they don’t feel just there. Bob barely looking at them shows his preoccupation with the letter, and adds to hints as to what it said and his state of mind.
4. What is important to the scene or story?
Sometimes you need to put in a detail for plot reasons. Just tossing it in there might not be the best use of it though. Too obvious a description or too much focus is like shining a light on it for the reader. It practically screams “hey, pay attention here.” Maybe you want this, maybe you don’t, or maybe you want the clue to hide in plain sight for a surprise later. If something needs to be there and be seen, take a minute to think about how your protagonist might see it and how it can work with the scene, not just be in the scene.
Example: Bob slid into his usual booth by the window, watching the rain.
“What’s it gonna be today?” Sally asked.
“I think I’ll have the pancakes.”
“You got it, doll.” She tucked her pen behind her ear and turned. A pale blue envelope fluttered out of her order pad and floated to the floor.
“Hey, you dropped something.” Bob bent over and picked it up. Postmarked Columbia.
“What? Oh, that’s not mine.” Sally snatched the letter before he could read who it was addressed to.
“But I’ll toss it into the lost and found for you.”
“Uh, okay.” He glanced at the clock. “Put a rush on those pancakes, would you? I’ve got court at one.”
A longer passage, but it’s obvious the envelope is going to be important. So is that postmark. Could it have something to do with Bob’s court date? And does Sally know what it all means? The details help move the story and create interest in what’s going on.
5. What tone/theme/mood are you trying to achieve?
If you’re going for dark and creepy, describing bright and sunny is going to fight with your story, not help move it along. Small details can add to the emotion of a scene. They give you opportunities for similes and metaphors that flow seamlessly, because the detail evokes a feeling in your protagonist. They can help illustrate your theme in subtle (or not so subtle) ways. They can foreshadow and even raise the tension by evoking something foreboding or mysterious.
Example: Bob learned against the wall, watching the rain wash away what was left of his life. A photographer walked over his body in the restaurant’s doorway, shutter snapping the broken clock, the pancakes he’d never finish, the shattered window. The police paid more attention to the envelope clutched in his cold hand. Idiots.
I don’t think anyone’s going to mistake this for a comedy or a romance novel. The details are still the same, but they’ve adapted to suit the tone and gritty, sad feel of a guy seeing his own dead body.
Details mean different things to different people. How you show those details to the reader help the reader better understand not only what’s in the scene, but who’s in it as well. The right detail can instantly pique a reader’s interest and make them want to know more.
Don’t just create backdrops. Make your descriptions count.
How do you use details in your writing? Do you have any questions for Janice?
BIO: Janice Hardy always wondered about the darker side of healing. For her fantasy trilogy THE HEALING WARS, she tapped into her own dark side to create a world where healing was dangerous, and those with the best intentions often made the worst choices. Her books include THE SHIFTER, and BLUE FIRE. DARKFALL, from Balzer+Bray/Harper Collins. She lives in Georgia with her husband, three cats and one very nervous freshwater eel. You can visit her online at www.janicehardy.com, chat with her about writing on her blog, The Other Side of the Story, or find her on Twitter @Janice_Hardy.
