Isn't it weird, where you find the ideas for blogs? I never miss Gene Lempp's Blog Treasures (and you shouldn't either)!
This week, I found another gem there: Catie Rhodes' Writing Lessons from Song Lyrics. Go check it out - she has a wonderful point - writers can learn a lot from lyrics. A lyricist only has a few words to paint a powerful picture. I find that shorter descriptions, well written, have more power. The most powerful descriptions are more than explanations of what something looks like, or feels like -- it can be both. What if you combine a description with how the character feels about the object?
Have you ever been reading a book, and been stopped still by a description that made you put down the book and think, "Wow, that's just how that feels!
I want to write that, more often. But how?
Not to be a Margie-pimp, but Margie Lawson's Empowering Character's Emotions taught me the mechanics. After that, I just played. I sometimes close my eyes while I type, trying to find the elusive words to capture the feeling.
Somtimes, the stars align, and I open my eyes to a sparkly, perfect description. I love doing that.
I'll swallow my nerves and share one of mine:
Fingers stole up the back of her neck, into her hair. He absently fisted it in his hand, and in that familiar tug, her world settled. Jimmy was home.
Here are some examples by authors much who are more accomplished at this than I.
“Music could ache and hurt, that beautiful music was a place a suffering man could hide.”
― Pat Conroy, Beach Music
“Her laughter was a shiny thing, like pewter flung high in the air.”
― Pat Conroy, Beach Music
“Walking the streets of Charleston in the late afternoons of August was like walking through gauze or inhaling damaged silk.”
― Pat Conroy
“It enclosed us in its laceries as we watched the moon spill across the Atlantic like wine from an overturned glass.”
― Pat Conroy, Beach Music
“When you love someone, you say their name different. Like it's safe inside your mouth.”
― Jodi Picoult, Handle with Care
Back on New Year's Day, many of you might have vowed to take your craft more seriously in 2012...before the world ends, of course. This resolution likely means more conferences and many, many more queries.
For those of you who have submitted before, ever wonder how an agent can ask for the first 20 pages and still reject our book? Did you ever wonder if the agents really read these pages? How can they know our book isn’t something they want to represent with so little to go on?
I mean, if they would just continue to page 103 they would see that the princess uncovers a whole underground movement of garden gnomes with interdimensional capabilities, and they wouldn’t be able to put it down. Right?
Wrong.
Back in the day before I wrote full time, I paid my dues doing a lot of editing. I have edited countless manuscripts, and today I am going to let you see the first 5-20 pages through the eyes of an agent or editor.Novel Diagnostics 101. The doctor is in the house.
I mean no disrespect in what I am about to say. I am not against self-publishing and that is a whole other subject entirely. But, what I will say is that there are too many authors who dismiss why agents are rejecting them and run off to self-publish instead of fixing why their manuscript was rejected.
Agents know that a writer only has a few pages to hook a reader. That’s the first thing. But agents also know that the first 20 pages are a fairly accurate reflection of the entire book.
Years ago, when I used to edit, I never cared for being called a book doctor. I rarely ever edited an entire book. I guess one could say I was more of a novel diagnostician. Why? Doctors fix the problems and diagnosticians just figure out what the problems ARE. Thus, what I want to help you guys understand is why beginnings are so important.
I generally can ”diagnose” every bad habit and writer weakness in ten pages or less. I never need more than 50 pages (and neither do agents and other editors). Why? Well, think of it this way. Does your doctor need to crack open your chest to know you have a bum ticker?
No.
He pays attention to symptoms to diagnose the larger problem. He takes your blood pressure and asks standardized questions. If he gets enough of the same kind of answer, he can tell you likely have a heart problem. Most of the time, the tests and EKGs are merely to gain more detail, but generally to confirm most of what the doc already knows.
The first pages of our novel are frequently the same. So let’s explore some common problems with beginnings and look to the problems that they can foreshadow in the rest of the work.
Info-Dump
The beginning of the novel starts the reader off with lengthy history or world-building. The author pores on and on about details of a city or civilization or some alien history all to “set up” the story.
In my experience, this is often the hallmark of a writer who is weak when it comes to characters and even plotting. How can I tell? He begins with his strength…lots of intricate details about a painstakingly crafted world. Although not set in stone, generally, if the author dumps a huge chunk of information at the start of the book, then he is likely to use this tactic throughout.
This type of beginning tells me that author is not yet strong enough to blend information into the narrative in a way that it doesn’t disrupt the story. The narrative then becomes like riding in a car with someone who relies on hitting the brakes to modulate speed. The story likely will just get flowing…and then the writer will stop to give an information dump.
Also, readers read fiction for stories. They read Wikipedia for information. Information does not a plot make. Facts and details are to support the story that will be driven by characters with human wants and needs.
Sci-fi/fantasy writers are some of the worst offenders. It is easy to fall in love with our world-building and forget we need a plot with players. Keep the priorities straight. In twenty years people won't remember gizmos, they will remember people.
Book Starts Right in the Middle of the Action
A lot of new writers are being told to start right in the action, and this tip is wrong...well, it needs to be clarified. We need some kind of conflict in the beginning to make us (the reader) choose to side with/like the protagonist. This conflict doesn't necessarily have to do with the main story problem (directly). I know some of you are a bit confused so let me explain a little.
Back in the day, when writers got paid by the word, they often started with the protag in the womb. Kidding, but barely. "Starting in the action", or in medias res,just means to start as close to the actual story as possible.
For instance, in Star Wars, we don't see all of Luke's growing up years on Tatooine. We begin the story just before the main antagonist's agenda intersects with his life and forces a choice--rise to adventure or grieve family and return to moisture farming?
The beginning of a good story starts with tension and conflict, but generally only hints at the problem to come.
For instance, in the Hunger Games we are introduced to Katniss and we get a glimpse of the hell that is her life and the burden she has of feeding her family. We feel for her because she lives in a post-apocalyptic nightmare where life is lived on the brink of starvation. Nothing terribly earth-shattering happens, but we care about this girl. So, when Katniss is chosen to participate in The Hunger Games--a brutal gladiator game held by the privileged Capitol--we want her to win, because that means a life of food, shelter and relative safety.
Suzanne Collins didn't start out with Katniss in the arena fighting the Hunger Games. That is too far in and is too jarring. We need time with Katniss in her Normal World for The Hunger Games to mean anything or this action would devolve quickly into melodrama. Even though in the beginning, she isn't per se pitted directly with the Capitol, she is pitted against starvation and depravity...which leads us nicely into the main cause of that starvation and depravity (the Capitol) and the solution to this life (win the Hunger Games).
Yet, many new writers take this notion of "start right in the action" and they dump the reader straight into the arena. The beginning of the novel starts us off with the protagonist (we think) hanging over a shark tank and surrounded by ninjas. There are world-shattering stakes and we are only on page 2.
This shows me that the writer could be weak in a number of areas.
First, she may not be clear what the overall story problem is, so she is beginning with a “gimmick” to hook the reader in that she is unsure the overall story problem will.
Secondly, this alerts me that the writer is weak in her understanding of scene and sequel novel structure.
Scenes are structured: Goal-> conflict -> disaster
So when a writer begins her book with Biff hanging over a shark tank surrounded by ninjas, two major steps in a scene have been skipped. Normal World serves an important function. It is part of narrative structure for a reason. Thus, when a writer totally skips some fairly vital parts and thrusts us straight into disaster, I already know the author will likely rely on melodrama from this point on. Why? Because that was how she began her book.
Book Begins with Internalization
Fiction is driven by conflict. Period. Writing might be therapeutic, but it isn’t therapy. When a writer begins with a character thinking and internalizing that is another huge warning flag of a number of problems.
Do you need internalization in a novel? Yes! But it has its place. Most internalization will be part of what is known as the sequel. Sequels transpire as a direct reaction to a scene. When a writer begins the novel with the sequel, that is a huge warning that, again, the writer is weak when it comes to structure. There is a definite purpose for reflection, but kicking off the action is not one of them.
Also, beginning with the protagonist “thinking” is very self-indulgent. Why do we as readers care about this person’s feelings or thoughts about anything? We don’t know this character. The only people who listen attentively to the thoughts, feelings, and disappointments of total strangers are shrinks, and they are being paid well to do so.
Now, give us (your readers) time to know your character and become interested in her, and then we will care. But, starting right out of the gate with a character waxing rhapsodic is like having some stranger in the checkout line start telling you about her nasty divorce. It’s just weird.
Also, like people who tell you about their abusive alcoholic father the first 30 seconds after you’ve met them, they likely will keep this trend of rudely dumping too much personal information. When the protagonist begins with all this thinking and more thinking…and more thinking, it is probably a bad sign for the future. Just sayin’.
Book Begins with a Flashback
Yeah…flashbacks are a whole other bag of beetles, but let's just say that most of the time they are not necessary. We do not need to know why a certain character did this or thator why a bad guy went bad. Again, that’s for therapy.
Did we really need to know why Hannibal Lecter started eating people for Silence of the Lambs to be an AWESOME book AND movie? Now I know that there was a later explication of this….but it was an entirely different story (and one that really didn’t do well, I might mention). We didn’t stop the hunt for Wild Bill to go on and on about how Hannibal’s family was slaughtered in the war and the bad guys ate his sister…and it worked!
Flashbacks often alert me that the writer needs time to grow. She hasn’t yet developed the skill to blend background details with the current conflict in a way that supports the story.
I’ll give you a great example.
Watch the J.J. Abrams Star Trek. We find out exactly how Dr. Leonard McCoy gets his nickname, Bones…one line. “Wife got the whole planet in the divorce. All I got left is my bones.” The audience didn’t have to have a flashback to get that McCoy’s divorce was really bad. That is a great example of a writer seamlessly blending character back story.
Flashbacks, used too often, give the reader the feel of being trapped with a sixteen-year-old learning to drive a stick-shift. Just get going forward, then the car (story) dies and rolls backward.
Also, sometimes, not knowing why adds to the tension. The Force was more interesting before it was explained. For more why over-explaining is a total story-killer that RUINS tension, I recommend a visit to my post What Went Wrong with the Star Wars Prequels.
There are three really great books I highly recommend if you want to work on your beginnings (and even learn to fix the problems that bad beginnings foreshadow). Plot and Structure by James Scott Bell, Hookedby Les Edgerton, and Scene and Sequel by Jack Bickham.
Many authors are being rejected by the first 20 pages, and because most agents are overworked, they don’t have time to explain to each and every rejected author what they saw. Thus, too many writers are reworking and reworking their beginning and not really seeing that their weak beginning is a symptom of larger issues.
It is like the pounding headache and dizziness that spells out “heart condition.” We can take all the aspirin we want for the headache, but it won’t fix what is really wrong. Hopefully, though, today I gave you some helpful insight into what an editor (or an agent) really sees so you can roll up your sleeves and get to what’s truly going on.
What are some novels you guys can think of that had amazing beginnings? What the Night Knows by Dean Koontz, Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, Winter’s Bone by Daniel Woodrell are some of my favorites.
I know that I had to put down Next by Michael Crichton because it just went on and on without addressing a core problem. I was a hundred pages in and had no idea what the book was truly about, and had been introduced to so many characters, I had no clue who I was supposed to be rooting for (most of the characters were utterly unlikable).
What hooks you? How long will you give a novel before you buy it? How long will you give a novel you have bought before you put it down?
Announcement:Kristen Lamb will be our guest on Friday with "Novel Diagnostics".
At the beginning of the year, I usually cycle back to the questions "Who am I?" and "Why am I here?"
I was thinking about Chinese New Year and the Year of the Dragon and remembered it's been awhile since I visited the Chinese Medicine Five Element Personality Types I first read and studied a decade ago.
If you're familiar with Chinese medicine or Feng Shui, you've heard of the five elements: Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water.
Imagine each element placed around a one-way traffic circle and you'll have a good idea of how the elements "work." Wood nourishes fire, which feeds earth, which nourishes metal, which feeds water which nourishes wood to complete the cycle.
Each element has distinct characteristics associated with personality and physical, emotional, and spiritual challenges.
In real life an understanding of how we are influenced by the elements around us can make our life easier. For instance, before I knew any of this, I was lucky to marry a man who's a strong Metal personality. He indeed "nourishes" my Water personality. His secondary characteristic is Wood, which my Water feeds.
Imagine if I'd fallen in love with a Fire element who boiled my Water element characteristics and made me steam. Of course my Water element would have come in handy to douse his Fire nature.
Probably you know what your astrological sign is. And you have some idea of signs that you relate to and signs that can be difficult to deal with. What if you had another tool to help you interact with the people around you?
Better yet, what if, instead of building your characters from the ground up on someone else's chart, you gave your protagonist and antagonist the personalities and challenges of two Chinese elemental personalities? You've got built-in conflict just by picking two elements.
If you're in the middle of a project, another way to use the "test" is to answer the questions like your character would. You'll get information about your character's type along with possibilities for additional traits that would be true to the human nature of that type. And, of course, potential for conflict with other characters.
If you would just like a quick overview of the five element types, try this link.
If you would like to answer questions to determine your type, you can visit here.
There are many more sites you can explore if you're interested in more tests and more information. I highly recommend the book Between Heaven and Earth by Harriet Beinfield & Efrem Korngold.
Here is a summary of the five types with their challenges and contradictions. You'll see many possibilities for conflict, both internal and external in this list.
Wood:
Wants to be in charge but misses the companionship of equals
Yearns to do, to act but subject to uncontrollable impulse
Makes rules but likes to break them
Demands freedom but needs to struggle
Feels invincible but fears vulnerability and loss of control
Fire:
Desires contact, intimacy but needs solitude
Loves sensation and feeling but fears being overwhelmed by intensity
Loves to say yes and can’t say no
Yearns for fusion and dreads dissolution
Lives in the moment,but dreads the future
Earth:
Being at the still points and feeling stuck
Wanting to be full but feeling weighed down, overstuffed, and overwhelmed
Seeking emptiness and fearing that there is nothing at the core
Desiring change but wanting things to stay the same
Wanting to be needed but wary of being absorbed, losing the self
Metal:
Wants relationship but needs distance
Knows what is right but accepts what is safe
Aspires toward beauty but settles for utility
Wants joy - but fears spontaneity
Likes creativity, ingenuity but is intolerant of disorder, dissonance
Water:
Yearns for truth but fears exposure
Yearns for connection but is intolerant of contact
Likes to be squeezed but scared of being squashed
Wants to penetrate inside but detests being absorbed
Enjoys being left alone but dreads being abandoned
Feeling a little crazy? Justifiably so, according to your elemental characteristics. These are the knots we tie ourselves into and the challenges of the memorable characters we want to write.
I've got a little experiment for you. Let the character you're writing now have your elemental personality. Throw challenges related to what he wants. Tie her into knots with her fear related to her challenges.
You just might learn something about yourself in the process. Something that may help you resolve some of your challenges and related fears. Who knows, you may figure out ways to deal with people in your everyday life a little better. And who couldn't use easier relationships?
What's your element? Is there a challenge your element helped you recognize? This blog was condensed from a full day workshop. I'll be happy to share more traits in response to your comments.
And if you need a "diagnosis" from Kristen Lamb, you'll want to check in on Friday for some super tips.
