Writers in the Storm

By Lisa Hall-Wilson

I’ve been asked for more advanced deep point of view tips, so let’s dive deep(er)!!

What is deep point of view? This is a writing style where the psychic distance between the point of view character and the reader has been removed. There’s no author or narrator voice to explain, summarize, or justify what’s going on. This style of writing aims to bring the raw emotions and thoughts of a character to the reader directly – unfiltered. So that the reader has to lean in, to engage and participate in the story, to understand and experience the emotional journey for themselves.

It's not for everyone, but emotions are the glue that makes this technique sticky. One of the common complaints I hear from those looking to learn deep point of view is that beta readers struggled to connect with characters, and/or the characters’ actions don’t make sense. The fix is to go deeper with the character, to better understand them – but how do you do that? 

Be Specific and Particular With A Limiting Belief 

We all have limiting beliefs about ourselves (read more about that here). These beliefs often lead to tension, unhappiness, and suffering. (sounds like good fiction, right!) There’s lots of different ways we live with, and live out, those limiting beliefs. But when you’re looking to go deeper with a character, this can be a fun way to get curious about what’s really motivating them and help us make emotional connections for readers.

Belief > Thought > Emotion > Habit > Behavior > Experience

For Instance: With a core limiting belief of being ‘a failure,’ every disappointment or blocked path has the potential to secretly confirm that belief. It’s very easy to create a habit around this belief that becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. How would that affect someone’s confidence? Their ability to take risk? Their willingness to be vulnerable? What lengths would be considered acceptable to avoid having that confirmation? How would they try and protect themselves from that hurt? What messages would they tell themselves in stressful situations?

Just start asking questions.

Do you remember Johnny Castle from Dirty Dancing? In the first intimate scene of the movie (watch that clip here.), Johnny reveals to Baby his limiting belief: “People treat me like I’m nothing because I’m nothing.” He expected people to overlook him, to mistreat him, to be rude, because he wasn’t wealthy or educated. This insight into Johnny deepened our understanding of his character, and made him more relatable, more human. His vulnerability was engaging.

Determine Your Character’s Limiting Belief

Drill deeper into what motivates your characters. Where’s that fear, that insecurity, that bias, that arrogance coming from? What’s at the root of it? Once you find that out, that core belief colors everything your character says and thinks and does.

Let’s take four characters who have an over-the-top (like, disproportionate to the real threat) reaction to bees as an example:

Sally is afraid of bees because last time she got stung she cried.

If her limiting belief is that she’s weak, that she’s a victim, or that she doesn’t matter, she may roll over and just create a self-fulfilling oh-woe-is-me prophecy (she deserves to be stung). Or perhaps she turns to anger as a solution to that limiting belief (which shows how little compassion she has for herself, and likely for others). She will suppress any reaction to a bee or a sting, perhaps even denying it will hurt, belittling others for being fearful. The key for readers will be giving them access to the raw emotions and unfiltered thoughts that betray what’s behind the reaction.

Cindy is afraid of bees because her mother told her a sting will hurt and her face might swell up and she might have to go to the hospital (and Grandpa died in the hospital).

Cindy clearly has a tendency towards anxiety. If Cindy’s limiting belief is that the world is unsafe, how would she react to a potential sting? It would be way over the top, right. Dig down into the core belief so readers can see her reaction is very rational given what she believes, juxtapose that to the reactions of those around her. How would they treat her? How would that treatment further support her limiting belief?

Jamie is afraid of bees because the sound they make is too loud.

Jamie could have a past trauma where sensory overload is a trigger to panic, or perhaps there are sensory issues where some sensations or feelings are intolerable. Let’s say his limiting belief is that the world isn’t safe. Now, it’s not objectively true that loud noises aren’t safe, so for a reader who doesn’t understand what’s behind his over-the-top reaction, this is a character that’s going to be hard to relate to.

Be honest about this journey. If loud noises aren’t safe, what’s a rational reaction to that? Jamie isn’t reacting to the bee sting so much as the sensory overload and resulting panic, the solution he chooses will be entirely logical to solving his core belief problem (the world isn’t safe).

Rich is afraid of bees because the first time he was stung his throat closed and he couldn’t breathe. The next sting might kill him. 

Rich’s fear of bees is a mortal fear based on past experience, and likely a variety of teachers, doctors, and parents impressing upon him, in a variety of ways, the gravity of another bee sting. The adult reactions to the first sting may be as or more traumatizing than the actual bee sting. Let’s play with this. If Rich’s limiting belief is that he’s a burden, he may downplay the fear of the bee sting. If his limiting belief is that he’s weak, not only will the solution he chooses look different, the messages he tells himself will reflect that belief. Will he react to that limiting belief with compassion and kindness, or only judgement for himself?

The reader needs to be inside the head and body of the character to really connect with the WHY and the stakes behind the fear and panic response to connect emotionally with the tension and conflict within the character. 

Be Honest To The Journey

Work backwards to discover that core belief, get curious about what’s underlying the fear, the anger, the shame – whatever the behaviour pattern is. The reaction must be a logical solution (to the character) for the core belief problem. Create that emotional connection readers are craving by showing the raw emotions and thoughts the problem creates.

Interview Your Character

Interview your character to dig deeper into who they are or what motivates them by creating an “I should…” statement. This statement doesn’t need to be objectively true, but it must be something the character believes they should do (even if they don’t consciously understand why they believe that to be true). Now, keep asking WHY (aim for no more than 5 Whys) until you land on a limiting belief that either works for your story or feels true to that character.

I should work out more…

I shouldn’t ever say no…

I shouldn’t disobey my father…

I should trust everyone…

Example:

I should work out more

Why? Because my mum said I should.

Why? Because Mum thinks I’m lazy.

Why? Because I desperately want her approval.

Why (this is the limiting belief): Because I’m not love-able.

BOOM! A character that obsessively exercises, that is a perfectionist with how they dress, that counts every calorie and avoids looking at themselves in the mirror. How would this character react to a disappointment or spilling sauce on a blouse before an important meeting? Do you see how the behaviour makes sense now? 

That’s the nugget you take into every scene, that informs every decision, that colors every thought and fear. Have that character grow and mature, by showing kindness and compassion to that limiting belief by creating an empowering solution statement: I’m not perfect and I’m going to make mistakes, but my good friends will love me anyway. Have them stare down the monster under the bed and discover the monster has no teeth.

I should accept blame for everything... (everything is my fault)

Why? Because this ends conflicts faster

Why? Because then I can predict the reaction

Why? Because when I can’t predict what’s going to happen I can’t protect myself

Why (this is the limiting belief)? Because I’m not safe anywhere

The character that bends like a pretzel to keep everyone happy is hard to cheer for or like. SHOW readers why this reaction is the most logical solution to their limiting belief. Give the reader a reason to cheer for this character, show the fight they’re constantly waging internally. What happens when they have compassion for themselves and realize the monster under the bed has no teeth? I can stand up for myself and have healthy boundaries, because I’m not a child anymore.

Want to give this exercise a try? It’s tricky. I’ll try and give feedback to the first few comments at least. Would this type of mental exercise help you get to know your characters better? Would this insight help make your characters more relate-able to readers?

About Lisa

Lisa Hall-Wilson is a writing teacher and award-winning writer and author. She’s the author of Method Acting For Writers: Learn Deep Point Of View Using Emotional Layers. Her blog, Beyond Basics For Writers, explores all facets of the popular writing style deep point of view and offers practical tips for writers. 

She runs the free Facebook group Going Deeper With Emotions where she shares tips and videos on writing in deep point of view. 

by Jenny Hansen

November is here, which means our American Thanksgiving is at the end of the month. In other words, the holidays are upon us, which often leads to stress for writers. Over the years, I have noticed a remarkable similarity between Writer's Block and the Dreaded Turkey Block. I'll share my story, and let y'all decide.

I am late in reserving my organic grass-fed turkey this year. (Yes, I know. I'm from California.) I'm new in my town, so it took me a while to find the best local turkey dealers. And, as always, the minute I reserve that glistening gobbler, my stress-meter cranks sky-high.

My Holiday Confession

I am deathly afraid to take responsibility for the bird.

Really, really afraid. Like heart-pounding-faster-than-a-caffeinated-writer-on-deadline afraid. Obviously, I have a whopping case of the Dreaded Turkey Block.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with this malady, it's like writer's block...only instead of a fear of the page, it's a fear of the bird.

My big brother (we call him the Bag Whore), talks about his Thanksgiving Bird like it's his holiday love muffin: rubbing it with butter, seasoning it...BRINING it, for Pete's sake. I can't listen to him.

And right now, at every cooking store, there's a whole freaking wall dedicated to the bird. An. Entire. Wall.

It's wigging me out.

My Short-term Solution

I can't take the responsibility of being in charge of the main event (aka The Bird). I just can't. So I pawned it off on my husband.

For a decade now, Hubby has been tasked with The Bird and I do everything else. Basically, I'd rather make sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, cranberry fluff, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and three pies than do ONE turkey.

Last year, I even got the Hubs a "brining kit," although I wasn't exactly sure what it was.

This year, my sis and the Bag Whore are coming and they're in charge. I heard rumors about a smoker and injections. (In my mind, that means they are giving the turkey Botox and lip fillers.) Whatever they're doing, I'm just happy I don't have to be involved.

The Remarkable Similarities

I saw the five main symptoms of Writer's Block, and I have ALL FIVE when it comes to The Bird. I'll put them below so you can see what I mean (and heap sympathy upon me in my time of angst).

5 Symptoms of Writer's Block

Writers Block has these five main symptoms when it comes to how people feel about working on their stories:

• No ideas
• Boredom
• Lack of confidence
• Anxiety
• Stress

I feel blessed because I seem able to overcome these feelings when it comes to writing.

Now, let's apply these to The Bird.

Symptom #1: No Ideas

If you are stuck and have no ideas, it is probably because you started writing, prepping your bird, without doing the groundwork of brainstorming and planning.

Remedy: Give the job to your spouse. If you're single, invite someone like The Bag Whore to your feast.

Symptom #2: Boredom

Either you have chosen a topic turkey you are not particularly interested in, or you've been assigned a topic bird you just don't care much about. Either way, you are stuck because you are bored with your topic turkey.

Remedy: Give the job to your spouse. Or run to the internet. Pray if you need to.

Symptom #3: Lack of Confidence

If you feel you aren't qualified to do the writing turkey, you will be stuck from the onset. You may worry that your grammar gobbler technique isn't good enough or you have poor spelling basting skills. You may be hearing criticisms in your head from previous attempts at writing turkey-making.

Remedy: Give the job to your spouse. Or open wine. Lots and lots of wine.

Symptom #4: Anxiety

When you are full of anxiety about something, you feel agitated, fidgety, jittery. Your mind goes in every possible direction except to the task at hand.

[Yesssss.]

Remedy: Sit or lie comfortably in a quiet, dimly lit space. Close your eyes and settle your breathing. Then picture yourself doing the required writing turkey. Don't think about the content bird that needs to be written conquered, only see yourself writing conquering said gobbler. Notice details surrounding you and the turkey...Then notice how you feel about the image and how the person you see feels. Sit with this image for as long as you can.

[I'm pretty much calling crapola on this "remedy." I absolutely don't feel less anxiety about jacking up the turkey.]

Symptom #5: Stress

When stress has its grip, you can't think straight. You can't even begin to sit still and do some writing turkey-wrestling.

Remedy: Have a pre-writing pre-bird ritual that helps you to slow down and relax. Know in advance where you plan to write cook, and prepare your space. Make it free of clutter and get out your supplies and materials. Then do some physical activity to relax your muscles and clear your mind. Take several deep breaths and do some long, slow stretches.

[Pffffftttt.]

Addendum: Nope. Not working. I'm still thinking about having to look my guests in the eye and apologize for a dry-as-hell pitiful bird.

Remedy: Give the job to your spouse. Make TONS of gravy. Drink more wine, or eat some chocolate.

Pep Talk Time

So there you have it...the five symptoms of Writer's Turkey Block and my remedies. I'll get through it. I always do. And whether you're thinking about your bird or your manuscript, I promise you will break through to the other side too.

Now back to you, my lovelies...

Have you conquered the Turkey Frontier? How about Writer's Block? What are your secrets? Enquiring minds (and Thanksgiving hosts everywhere) would love to hear them!

About Jenny

By day, Jenny Hansen provides brand storytelling, LinkedIn coaching, and copywriting for accountants and financial services firms. By night, she writes humor, memoir, women’s fiction, and short stories. After 20+ years as a corporate trainer, she’s delighted to sit down while she works.

Find Jenny here at Writers In the Storm, or online on Facebook or Instagram.

Top photo purchased from Depositphotos.

By Kris Maze

Writing teen dialogue and internal thought in Young Adult (YA) fiction can be a challenge. I mean, really, who wants to be in a teen-aged brain? Amirite? *grin* 

Impulsive and awkward, teens speak their own language, balancing between quick, sarcastic responses and deeply reflective inner worlds. Getting into that mindset can infuse an authentic feel in your writing. Done well, it can make your characters leap off the page and resonate with your audience.

This is part three of my series on YA writing elements to help writers create fiction that is more relatable to teens today.  Part one of this series looks at examples of teen characterization and can be found here. Part two explored world building elements and can be found here. Read more in this series to optimize your YA writing.

Below, we’ll look at how different YA authors master dialogue and teen voice, using quotes from popular novels like One of Us is Next, All The Bright Places, and Shadow and Bone. Then, I’ll provide 5 actionable takeaways you can use to make your dialogue sharper and your characters’ inner thoughts more genuine.

Examples of Teen Dialogue and Voice in YA

1. One of Us is Next by Karen M. McManus

What to look for: Quick, punchy dialogue with emotional undercurrents.

Phoebe: “Seriously, Maeve? You think this is some kind of joke?”  

Maeve: “No, I think it’s a game. And we just got pulled into the next round.”  

Knox: “So what? We’re supposed to just play along?”  

Maeve: “Do we have a choice?”

This exchange captures the high-stakes tension teens feel while maintaining a natural, conversational flow. Maeve's response is sharp, while Knox’s reaction shows reluctance—a perfect blend of uncertainty and urgency.

2. All The Bright Places by Jennifer Niven

What to look for: Reflective, introspective dialogue that digs into emotions.

Violet: “Why do you want me to see all this?”  

Finch: “Because I want you to see what’s out there. What you’re missing while you’re busy being scared of it.”  

Violet: “I’m not scared. I just… don’t feel anything anymore.”  

Finch: “Maybe that’s the problem.”

This exchange shows how teens often communicate deeper thoughts through indirect dialogue, giving space for emotional depth without being overly dramatic. Finch’s line is a gentle challenge, reflecting his complex internal world.

3. I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

What to look for: Intensely emotional and creative dialogue reflective of the characters’ artistic minds.

Noah: “I’m disappearing, Jude. I feel it. Like I’m fading out of the picture.”  

Jude: “No, you’re not. You just have to paint yourself back in. Use something bold, like fire-red.”  

Noah: “What if I don’t want to? What if I don’t want to be seen anymore?”

Here, the dialogue is almost metaphorical, reflecting the characters' creative nature while expressing very real teen emotions of self-doubt and the desire to hide.

4. Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo

What to look for: Awkward and unsure dialogue reflecting the struggles of a teen in an unfamiliar world.

Alina: “I don’t belong here. I’m not… one of you.”  

Mal: “That doesn’t mean you’re nothing. You’re still you, Alina.”  

Alina: “But what if I don’t know who that is anymore?”

In this scene, Alina’s vulnerability and confusion come through in her words. Her dialogue is hesitant and unsure, a true sign of teen uncertainty, especially when they feel out of place.

5. The Mary Shelley Club by Goldy Moldavsky

What to look for: Sarcastic and humorous dialogue that hides vulnerability.

Rachel: “You know what’s great about being the new girl? No one knows you well enough to realize how weird you are.”  

Freddie: “I dunno, I’m pretty sure they’re catching on.”  

Rachel: “Yeah, well, joke’s on them. I’m an acquired taste.”

Rachel’s sarcasm is a defensive mechanism, showing how teens often use humor to protect themselves in social situations. It’s quick, funny, and layered with meaning.

5 Takeaways for Nailing Teen Dialogue and Internal Thought in YA Fiction

1. Keep It Short and Real  

Teens don’t monologue—they react, text, snap, and keep it brief, just like in One of Us is Next. 

Actionable Tip: Cut out the fluff. Short sentences with strong emotional undercurrents work best for teen characters. Find my posts on fixing fluff words in your writing in parts one and two.

2. Let Their Inner World Shine  

Teens live inside their heads, like Finch in All The Bright Places. Their internal monologues are often deep and reflective.  

Actionable Tip: Give your characters introspective moments where they can reflect on their fears, hopes, and conflicts, making them more relatable. These moments can be placed in between tense or highly emotional moments in your story to even out pacing.

3. Lean Into the Drama  

YA thrives on emotional intensity. Take cues from I’ll Give You the Sun, where characters express feelings in bold, colorful ways.  

Actionable Tip: Don’t be afraid to ramp up the emotional intensity in your dialogue. Teens often feel things strongly, and it should show in their words. 

4. Be Vulnerable and Awkward  

Like Alina in Shadow and Bone, teens are often unsure of themselves and stumble through conversations.  

Actionable Tip: Write dialogue that’s imperfect. Let your characters say the wrong thing, hesitate, or second-guess themselves. It adds authenticity.

5. Show Defiance Through Sarcasm  

Sarcasm is a teen’s second language, like Rachel in The Mary Shelley Club. It’s often how they deal with stress or mask vulnerability.  

Actionable Tip: Use sarcasm and humor to layer your dialogue with meaning, especially in moments of tension or conflict.

Final Thoughts

Writing teen dialogue isn’t just about sounding like a teenager—it’s about capturing the intensity, vulnerability, and complexity of teen emotions. Whether through punchy lines, sarcastic humor, or reflective thoughts, each of these books shows how to use dialogue to build stronger, more authentic teen characters.

By taking inspiration from the examples above and following the takeaways, your YA characters will feel real, relatable, and unforgettable to readers. So, lean into the awkwardness, the drama, and the inner monologues that make teens so compelling to write—and to read about.

About Kris

Kris Maze is an author, writing coach, and teacher. She has worked in education for many years and writes for various publications, including Practical Advice for Teachers of Heritage Learners of Spanish and the award-winning blog Writers in the Storm where she is also a host. You can find her horror stories and young adult writing on her website. Keep up with future projects and events by subscribing to her newsletter.

Find her newest collection of spooky stories HERE .

A recovering grammarian and hopeless wanderer, Kris enjoys reading, playing violin and piano, and spending time outdoors. And sometimes she bakes an apple crisp.