Writing Fresh: Laughs, Giggles, and Snorts that carry POWER!
by Margie Lawson
What's behind a laugh?
When people laugh, we almost always pick up what’s behind their laughter. We pick up nuances that add interest and depth and power.
We can usually tell if they think something is crazy-funny.
We can usually tell if they’re laughing at themselves.
We can usually tell if they get an inside joke. Or don’t get a joke, but they’re laughing anyway.
We can usually tell if their laughter is genuine. Or if they’re laughing, but uncomfortable.
We can usually tell if they’re upset about something, but they’re laughing to cover up their real reaction.
They could be covering up a variety of feelings. Hurt. Embarrassment. Shame. Guilt. Surprise. Shock. Remorse. Anger.
But if you write what I call a Basic -- she laughed or he chuckled -- the reader doesn’t pick up those emotions. They miss the subtext. They miss the psychological message behind that laugh.
You know the meaning behind that laugh you wrote, because you’re the Great Oz for your story. You know everything, you feel everything. But the reader only knows what you put on the page. (Check out this blog for more: Beware of the Great Oz Effect!)
You may already know I’m not a fan of clichéd, or overused phrases and sentences. That’s an understatement.
Writing fresh laughs may take a few more brain cells, but it’s worth it to give your reader something they haven’t read before. Something that will impress them. Something that will keep them locked on your pages and locked in your story world.
I loaded this blog with lots of examples of writing fresh laughs, and a few giggles, and a couple of snorts too!
I didn’t include any chuckles or snickers. I could have, but I didn’t look for examples with those words.
You’ll see some deep editing tips to help you write fresh, deepen characterization, share the emotional impact on the POV character, and more.
Examples:
The Personal Assistant, Kimberly Belle, 5-Time Immersion Grad, USA Today and International Bestseller
- I laugh despite myself, my hungover cheeks stiff from dehydration, but this conversation is getting me all worked up again, that same indignant fury, like a bitter pill on my tongue.
Wow! A 32-word cadence-driven sentence that shares her emotional reaction. A reaction that’s amplified twice.
- Four Paragraphs:
“Oh my God, though, you should have seen your husband’s face. I’ve never seen him look at anybody like that.”
She laughs, but the sound has a forced casualness, like her words don’t hold that much meaning even though we both know that they do.
My heart gives a heavy thud. “Like how?”
When she finds my gaze in the mirror, her smile has gone stiff. “Like he wanted to kill her.”
I had to include the setup and the last two paragraphs. They carried out the power!
She could have just written: She laughs.
Which wouldn’t have provided the reader with that all-critical, emotionally-laden subtext.
Or she could have written these two shorter versions:
She laughs, but the sound has a forced casualness.
She laughs, but the sound has a forced casualness, like her words don’t hold that much meaning.
But Kimberly Belle knows my deep editing techniques well. She took it deeper. So deep, that in context, it carries a kick to the gut.
She laughs, but the sound has a forced casualness, like her words don’t hold that much meaning even though we both know that they do.
- An oppressive silence fills the room, one I have to struggle not to fill with laughter.
- I laughed, because he was right.
- He laughed, and she took it for a no.
Those last two examples both have short amplifications, but they carry story power.
- I tried to choke up a laugh. “I’m okay now. I’ve had lots of therapy.”
We know that laugh was fake. And she’s so not okay, despite her dialogue.
- “Yes, but I didn’t mean it. Obviously. I’m not that stupid.” I let out a ragged breath that I hope sounds like a laugh.
- Nina laughs, a deep, guttural sound that’s not from amusement. An outburst of pent-up, poisonous emotion.
Notice she shares what the sound isn’t from – and what it is from.
- Her voice pushes up through the music, a high-pitched giggle I recognize immediately, and it makes me want to punch my fist through a wall.
Stimulus and response in the same sentence.
All That Really Matters, Nicole Deese, Immersion Grad, ACFW 2-Time Carol Winner
- Her laugh was half nervous energy, half meddling mother.
Using structural parallelism makes it even stronger.
- Her laugh was nothing more than a weakened rush of air.
Think about what a laugh sounds like. Write it!
- Ethan’s offensive chuckle made it clear he thought Silas couldn’t take him up on the challenge.
Interpreting a laugh.
- Five Paragraphs – Laughing referenced in all five paragraphs.
“A beauty mask,” I said through a wheeze. The tightness in my face cracked at the untamed laughter, releasing approximately ten percent of its death grip on my skin. “It’s black like tar and made from a dead sea urchin that lives in some special sea.”
But when I glanced up at Truella, her shoulders were shaking while laugh tears coated her cheeks. She was trying to mouth something to me, but it wasn’t her words so much as her chest-pointing gestures that finally clued me in. This was not a headband, but a . . . breast band?
I pulled it from the confines of my wild mane with a just-joking kind of laugh as the sensation of molten lava filled my belly. “Oh, I just love these multi-use products, don’t you?”
“That was pure brilliance, Molly. Leave it to you to give the Tubee such a fun personality! That was the best laugh I’ve had in months.”
Only I wasn’t laughing. Not even close to laughing. Because this was exactly what I’d been afraid of. This was exactly what I’d asked my manager-boyfriend to shield me from. And from the expression on Ethan’s face, none of this was a surprise to him.
Don’t be afraid to repeat a word like laugh or laughter. It’s the right word. Keep using it, even if you use it in five back-to-back paragraphs. It would have sounded silly if she’d used chuckle or snicker or whatever some of the time. Trust me. Repeat the right word.
Long Shot, HOOPS Book 1, Kennedy Ryan, Immersion Grad, USA Today and Wall Street Journal Bestselling Author
Sharing fun news for Kennedy Ryan. Two of her series, “Hoops” and “All the King’s Men,” will be turned into two limited series for television!
- “Lie?” I laugh a little to put her at ease. “Who said anything about lying, Sylvia?”
Sharing why she laughed. So easy. So smart.
- Sheila and Torrie share a cackling laugh and high-five over the joke, moving on to other juicy bits of gossip.
Showing two people laughing.
- I let out a soft laugh, watching her face for signs that she thinks I’m an idiot.
We all look for reactions. Remember to put them on the page.
- Her harsh laugh ripples through the pool of quiet we’ve made here in our corner of the bar.
- A kiss cam gets going, and Lotus and I can’t stop laughing at an elderly couple kissing like teenagers fogging up a backseat window.
- Her laugh is soft and barely there, but an encouraging sign.
Shares emotional impact on the POV character.
- I snort-snicker, glancing up to make sure Coach hasn’t noticed us not paying attention.
Ha! That’s what I call a Universal Truth. Most people can identify. We’ve been there. Done that. Hope we didn’t get caught!
- Two Paragraphs:
“After all, this is our third conversation. Surely we’re past keeping secrets by now.”
A husky laugh is her only answer.
Powerful.
- I feel guilty for the giggle that slips past my lips despite the inappropriateness of her humor.
Another Universal Truth?
- Doubled over, I’m shocked when maniacal laughter unspools from my belly.
Have you ever been shocked to hear yourself laugh?
- Her laugh goes sour and cynical.
Phonetic alliteration.
- Iris snorts, laughing at the nickname I told her I hate.
- “Wow. Now I feel like a fool.” My laugh is a three-dollar bill. Fake. Counterfeit.
Strategic with style and structure. Great use of stand-alone words.
- I only half-laugh because I’m still not sure what that was or what it did, but I know I’m changed somehow.
Love that amplification. I’m right there with her.
- There’s nothing like MiMi’s laugh. It starts as a cackle then swells to a guffaw, the sound booming from her small body and floating through the air like bubbles that settle around you and pop with energy. It’s the kind of laugh that invites you to join in.
Easy to do. Share how a laugh grows.
All is Bright, Andrea Grigg, 2-Time Immersion Grad
- She’s almost laughing but I have no idea why.
Another Universal Truth.
- I laugh, but when she turns in my arms she’s all serious. “Can I talk to you about this morning?”
- She gives an incredulous, why-didn’t-you-say-so kind of laugh.
I love Hyphenated-Run-Ons. You can be as fresh as you like!
- I get a few moments of peace and then she gives a jumpy laugh.
- Josh stares and I laugh, a harsh, ugly sound. “You think I’m crazy, don’t you?”
- Amy’s laugh is brittle, like the idea of someone having a crush on me bothers her, which is … interesting.
Wow. That carries such power. Their relationship is sliding down a slippery slope and destined to keep sliding.
See how I played with that cliché?
- Then she busted out laughing and paid the price by coughing herself stupid, needing her breathing mask, and eventually falling into an exhausted sleep in my arms, unaware of my tears in her hair.
All that amplification is so fun! Love – coughing herself stupid. Then Andrea Grigg amplified it four more times!
- I don’t mean to snort but I do. A little one, but it’s still a snort.
Amplifying a snort. And it sounds so real. Definitely a Universal Truth.
- I buckle up with laughter and Josh joins in, but not for long and certainly not as hysterically. I hiccup my way to a stop, and remember Tess, my darling sister Tess, and guilt rolls over me and in me and through me like a toxic fog.
That example is OMG NYT powerful.
- Universal Truth. Most people have laughed longer and harder than others, or been with someone who has embarrassed themselves that way.
- Andrea Grigg shared how it took a little while to get her breathing back to normal – hiccup my way to a stop.
- That last piece about guilt is impress-me brilliant. Andrea Grigg used polysyndeton (many ands) to package that power.
What are the takeaways from those examples? I’ll get the list started.
- Amplify. Don’t give the reader a Basic. Add interest and emotion and depth and power.
- Put yourself in the scene. What does that laugh mean? What’s behind it?
- Go deep.
- Share what the laugh isn’t about, and what it is about.
- Use rhetorical devices like similes, alliteration, structural parallelism, polysyndeton – and sixteen more. If you’ve done my Deep Editing, Rhetorical Devices, and More online course or lecture packet, you know them!
Review the blog. Add to that list. Write fresh laughs and giggles and snorts that carry power!
Thanks for being here. I had fun with this blog. Hope you did too!
Please chime in. GIVE ME YOUR BEST LAUGH!
I’d love to read them!
I’ll have a drawing Tuesday night, and someone will win a FIVE PAGE DEEP EDIT from me!
You want to win that goodie, right?
Just post a comment!
* * * * * *
About Margie
Margie Lawson left a career in psychology to focus on another passion—helping writers make their writing bestseller strong. Using a psychologically based deep-editing approach, Margie teaches writers how to bring emotion to the page. Emotion equals power. Power grabs readers and holds onto them until the end. Hundreds of Margie grads have gone on to win awards, find agents, sign with publishers, and hit bestseller lists. Some have had their books turned into Hallmark movies, and a few have drama series in development.
A popular international presenter, Margie has taught over 150 full-day master classes in the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and France, as well as multi-day intensives on cruise ships in the Caribbean. She’s taught close to 200 Immersion Master Classes across the U.S. and Canada, and in seven cities in Australia too.
She also founded Lawson Writer's Academy, where you’ll find over 30 instructors teaching online courses through her website. To learn more and sign up for Margie’s newsletter, visit www.margielawson.com.
Lawson Writer’s Academy Courses for April!
- Advanced Craft
- Story Structure Safari
- Intensive on Point of View
- Power Up Your Setting
- Revision Boot Camp
- Clans of Scotland
- Battling the Basics: The Essentials of Writing
Check out where I’m presenting. Maybe we’ll get to meet!
- June 10, Romance Writers of the Rockies, Denver – Full Day Master Class
- Sept. 20 – 23, NINC World Conference, St. Pete Beach, Florida – Workshops
Invite Margie to present for your writing group!
Get Happy with Margie Virtual Open House!
April 11th, 5:00 – 7:00 p.m. Mountain Time
Drop by the link on my website anytime in that 2-hour block. We’ll be there chatting and laughing!
43 comments on “Writing Fresh: Laughs, Giggles, and Snorts that carry POWER!”
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Great post! This appeared in my inbox in perfect edit timing! In the throes of deep editing, and referring to my Margie-notes frequently.
Veronica --
Thanks!
Have fun adding deep editing power!
This reminder came at the right time!
Sylvie -
Great! I love just-in-time timing!
This is so helpful. I am a cozy mystery writer and I love these examples, they've helped get the juices flowing.
Hello Susan --
Yay! Happy deep editing.
Cozy mysteries are so much fun!
Hello Margie, your examples are always so meaningful but these examples hit me in the writer's gut. The different levels of amplification have been a slippery eel for me always sliding out of my grasp but today's examples finally gave me an aha-moment of understanding and that eel is now firmly in my writer hands. Thank you.
Hello Immersion Grad Lynette B --
Your talent is showing in your oh-so-clever comment. Love your writing and your message!
Glad you've taken charge of that slippery eel and not let it's 5 to 10 volt charge get you!
I themed my sentence to itself too!
Wish I could hug you right now.
Hello Margie, your examples are always so meaningful but these examples hit me in the writer's gut. The different levels of amplification have been a slippery eel for me always sliding out of my grasp but today's examples finally gave me an aha-moment of understanding and that eel is now firmly in my writer hands. Thank you.
Hi Margie!
Fantastic examples. This article is a keeper.
Ellen --
Thank you! Glad to know it's a keeper!
Such a Monday-morning gift...thanks, Margie! Here are a few lines from my WIP (a dual-timeline historical fiction novel set in 1945 Hiroshima and today...two unforgettable love stories, with a Southern-fried nun as a secondary character named Sister Jelly Bean. Hope you find some humor...and please feel free to offer your magical tweaks!
Example #1
Vivienne is a blue-ribbon-winning imposter; a fake who hides her molten guts of Mt. Vesuvius and her San Andres fault-line shakes with strategic smirks and snickers. Her cool swagger is a cover up, a concealer, a cloak.
Example #2
As the jetliner breathes weakly throughout the cabin like the oldest resident at a convalescent home, Vivienne uses her flattened gloved hand as a makeshift fan once again, jerking it with erratic movements.
“Fear of flying, Miss?” The welcoming face of a Ken-doll flight attendant hovers over her.
I must be feeling better. I heard words and they didn’t sound like they came from Charlie Brown’s teacher. (in the manuscript, her thoughts appear in italic, but I can't show that here)
He repeats, “Fear of flying, Miss?”
Fear? I’m more at the level of a yellow-bellied, lily-livered scaredy pants…. (in italic)
“That obvious, huh?” she answers.
You gotta get better at disguising it. Why does flying feel like a back-to-back ride on the Twirl ‘n’ Hurl at the fair? (italic)
“Anything I can do to help? A cool towel perhaps?” he questions.
Vivienne summons an artificially sweetened reply, “Oh, gosh. No worries. Crippling anxiety is my cardio…kinda like time well-spent on a Peloton bike. But could you crank up the AC…and hold my hand? Please?”
Example #3
Vivienne's joy is as effervescent as the just-poured Coca-Cola on the tray table in front of her.
Example #4
“Well I don’t tolerate folks pushin’ together like cholesterol clogging up my pappy’s arteries. They don’t call him Big Jimmy John for nothin’.” She sucks in a breath and tacks on, “And I must tell ya it’s a supreme delight to be right here in business class, and not be packed and stacked like Pringles potato chips in the back-of-the-bus section with all those people and all those packages they drug on here.”
Vivienne does a double-take thinking about the stacked-and-packed Pringles, and offers the nun a giggly grin and a knowing nod.
Bonus:
A laugh is just a smile having an orgasm.
Hello Immersion Grad Chris!
You always wow me with your comments, and this time you went all out!
I'll check out your examples and put my comments in ALL CAPS.
Such a Monday-morning gift...thanks, Margie! Here are a few lines from my WIP (a dual-timeline historical fiction novel set in 1945 Hiroshima and today...two unforgettable love stories, with a Southern-fried nun as a secondary character named Sister Jelly Bean. Hope you find some humor...and please feel free to offer your magical tweaks!
SOUNDS LIKE AN UNFORGETTABLE BOOK! LOVE -- SISTER JELLY BEAN!
Example #1
Vivienne is a blue-ribbon-winning imposter; a fake who hides her molten guts of Mt. Vesuvius and her San Andres fault-line shakes with strategic smirks and snickers. Her cool swagger is a cover up, a concealer, a cloak.
POWERFUL WRITING! NYT! NYT! NYT!
SINCE YOU ASKED FOR MY MAGICAL TWEAKS, I'D NIX THE LAST SENTENCE. YOU HAVE SO MANY GREAT THINGS IN THAT FIRST SENTENCE THAT WE NEED WHITE SPACE AFTER IT.
Example #2
As the jetliner breathes weakly throughout the cabin like the oldest resident at a convalescent home, Vivienne uses her flattened gloved hand as a makeshift fan once again, jerking it with erratic movements.
“Fear of flying, Miss?” The welcoming face of a Ken-doll flight attendant hovers over her.
I must be feeling better. I heard words and they didn’t sound like they came from Charlie Brown’s teacher. (in the manuscript, her thoughts appear in italic, but I can't show that here)
He repeats, “Fear of flying, Miss?”
Fear? I’m more at the level of a yellow-bellied, lily-livered scaredy pants…. (in italic)
“That obvious, huh?” she answers.
You gotta get better at disguising it. Why does flying feel like a back-to-back ride on the Twirl ‘n’ Hurl at the fair? (italic)
“Anything I can do to help? A cool towel perhaps?” he questions.
Vivienne summons an artificially sweetened reply, “Oh, gosh. No worries. Crippling anxiety is my cardio…kinda like time well-spent on a Peloton bike. But could you crank up the AC…and hold my hand? Please?”
LOTS OF FABULOUS IN THAT EXAMPLE TOO!
I'D NIX -- jerking it with erratic movements -- and -- she answers -- and -- he questions. Only two characters. No tags needed.
Example #3
Vivienne's joy is as effervescent as the just-poured Coca-Cola on the tray table in front of her.
Ha! NYT! NYT! NYT!
Example #4
“Well I don’t tolerate folks pushin’ together like cholesterol clogging up my pappy’s arteries. They don’t call him Big Jimmy John for nothin’.” She sucks in a breath and tacks on, “And I must tell ya it’s a supreme delight to be right here in business class, and not be packed and stacked like Pringles potato chips in the back-of-the-bus section with all those people and all those packages they drug on here.”
Vivienne does a double-take thinking about the stacked-and-packed Pringles, and offers the nun a giggly grin and a knowing nod.
LOVE IT!
Bonus:
A laugh is just a smile having an orgasm.
LOOK AT YOU. MAKING ME LAUGH AGAIN!
BTW -- CHRIS -- I WANTED TO SHARE SOMETHING PERSONAL WITH YOU. I'M DATING! AND I'M SOOO HAPPY! HE'S A RETIRED ER DOC, AND WE'RE CRAZY-HAPPY TOGETHER. JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW.
Whoops...Example #4 should be "stacked and packed" in both references. I hate when inconsistencies happen! I love when I catch them, though.
Chris --
Got it! Thanks for letting me know!
Hi Margie -- Can't believe I get to see you for Immersion in less than two weeks!
Here's a laugh from my current WIP:
What had she expected? Some sort of Prince Charming response, perhaps some fairy-tale outpouring of long-repressed desire? She bit off a rueful laugh. She hadn’t realized she harbored such crystalized hopes until they shattered at her feet.
Becky --
I'm so excited that I get to work with you and all the other uber-talented Immersion grads again!
Here's a laugh from my current WIP:
What had she expected? Some sort of Prince Charming response, perhaps some fairy-tale outpouring of long-repressed desire? She bit off a rueful laugh. She hadn’t realized she harbored such crystalized hopes until they shattered at her feet.
WOW! LOVE THAT YOU SHARED THE EMOTIONAL IMPACT ON THE POV CHARACTER IN THAT LAST SENTENCE. WHAT A DIFFERENCE SHARING THAT IMPACT MAKES! KUDOS TO YOU!
Hi Margie,
Thanks for another amazing post and reminder to write fresh. Always so terrific.
A person's laugh is so unique, probably no two are alike.
Here's a laugh from my middle grade free verse novel HERTZ GETS FUSED releasing May 15th.
Fey pops up from long grass and laughs.
No fairy twitter chuckle.
Her laugh is one big blast,
like bowling pins hit with a strike.
Hello Suzanne!
A laugh is as unique as a fingerprint!
I can't wait until May 15th to read HERTZ GETS FUSED! I literally cannot wait that long. Seriously. Help me out!
Fey pops up from long grass and laughs.
No fairy twitter chuckle.
Her laugh is one big blast,
like bowling pins hit with a strike.
LOVE IT! NYT! NYT! NYT!
Thanks so much for sharing your talent!
My laughs and giggles AND snorts need some work! Thanks for all the amazing examples, Margie. 🙂
Jenny --
I know you'll WOW ME with your laughs and snickers and snorts. In person and on the page!
Love you!
great examples
Thanks Denise --
I love loading my blogs and lectures and webinars and master classes with lots of wow-worthy examples!
Brilliant post, as always Margie. Thank you, I will keep this for reference. A laugh from my WIP a historical mystery.
Her laugh landed like hail on the finest glass.
My POV goes on to name the owner of this laugh Crystal.
Hello Sylvia --
I'm so glad you posted this laugh. It's perfection! NYT! NYT! NYT! perfection!
SYLVIA POSTED:
Brilliant post, as always Margie. Thank you, I will keep this for reference. A laugh from my WIP a historical mystery.
Her laugh landed like hail on the finest glass.
BRILLIANT!
My POV goes on to name the owner of this laugh Crystal.
EVEN MORE BRILLIANT!
This is a great post, because the laugh always stumps me. Thanks so much for sharing the examples. It's greatly appreciated.
Hello Maggie --
Yay! My blog will help you write fresh laughs.
That's just what I love hearing!
Calling me out for the "she chuckled" phrases without context to deepen it. Whelp! I'll be editing tonight!
LOL Thanks, Margie!
Natasha --
Your comment made me laugh!
Yep. I called out every writer who writes basic, no-depth laughs.
Have fun adding interest and depth and power!
Calling me out for the "she chuckled" phrases without context to deepen it. Whelp! I'll be editing tonight!
LOL Thanks, Margie!
I love the $3 bill bit! Very clever. I would $100 bill love to win a 5-page deep edit from you, Margie! Thank you very much!
Hello Ana --
You're sooo fun!
We'll see if random.com picks you for that 5-page deep edit from me!
I love the $3 bill bit! Very clever. I would $100 bill love to win a 5-page deep edit from you, Margie! Thank you very much!
"And, she did it again. Knocked the ball over the fence in famous Margie fashion." I grinned, giggled, guffawed, and found tears rolling down my cheeks because I know Margie. Pride, that's what it is.
Hellooo Winona!
Loved your comment. Alliteration and all!
It's been way too long since I've hugged you. Hope to see you within the next year!
Hmmm...maybe it's time for a Master Class in Oklahoma!
"And, she did it again. Knocked the ball over the fence in famous Margie fashion." I grinned, giggled, guffawed, and found tears rolling down my cheeks because I know Margie. Pride, that's what it is.
Hello Everyone!
The winner of the 5-page deep edit from me is Natasha!
One of the ever-helpful WITS gals will share Natasha's email with me and I'll let her know she's a WINNER!
I loved the comments from you all. Have fun adding fresh depth and power to your laughs!
If you haven't checked out what's happening on my website, please do!
Mark your calendar for April 11th and drop by my GET HAPPY VIRTUAL OPEN HOUSE. It's from 5:00 - 7:00 Mountain Time. Click on the GET HAPPY meme on my website during that time and you'll be in my Zoom room.
Please drop by. It would be so fun to chat and laugh with you!
Thanks for being here today, or whenever you happen to read this!
My GET HAPPY happens every month. Don't miss getting happy!
Great advice as always, Margie. Your techniques provide clear ways of writing fresh and true to character voice. Now pardon me, I'll do a quick search of the laughter in my WIP and play around with them some more.
Hey Margie - have to say I got a surprise when I finally had a chance to read the blog! Thanks for including those examples, and thanks so much for showing me how to write fresh. It makes all the difference in the story-world!
Here's a recently written Aussie one for you from my WIP. (My heroine is extremely nervous, poor darling...)
I manage a few responses—I think they make sense—and the one time I attempt a laugh I sound like a kookaburra on crack.
Hi Andrea. I had to drop back in and say I absolutely LOVE your "like a Kookaburra on crack" laugh. I give it a Margie NYT!
Hi Lynette - thanks so much! Kookaburras are amazing birds. Hope they forgive me taking their laugh in vain 😉
Brilliant, Andrea! Love love love the kookaburra on crack. That is triple-wow fresh. You could write a fractured fairytales-style series on Aussie bush picnics with a twist: echidnas on exctasy, wine-fuelled wallabies, goannas on GHB, magpies on meth, possums on pot. Oh dear, it's a bit dark. I'd better stop!
Happy writing, and hugs to Margie and all the WITS x Jay
Hi Margie!
Here's my latest humor-hits in my current YA (ish) work.
A teen girl is trying to excuse 13 absences from her gym class and ends up volunteering for an after-school camp.
“You have an opportunity to improve your grade and learn something in gym class. If you can learn this on your own. Show me. One week with the kids is enough to cover your missed classes. Sound good?”
“Not really, but do I have a choice?”
“Yeah. Take the D+.”
She leaned over the desk and picked up the rules, book, and VHS, “You know that’s not happening.”
“See you at the courts next week, Monday.”
“Hey, coach?” Harriet stood to leave. He picked up the phone, but faced Harriet, his hand hovered over the keypad. “Next time you send your henchmen to find me, could you at least get them to warn me about the hostile takeover of my free time about to happen?”
“Glad to see you still have your sense of humor. There won’t be a next time.” Coach Ellis leaned back in his chair, phone attached by the spiral cord stretching maximum distance and chuckled, “Now get out of my office.”
Thanks for sharing on WITS!
Kris
And the winner is Natasha! Look for an email from Margie!
Like he wanted to kill her...loved it
[…] Writing Fresh: Laughs, Giggles, and Snorts that carry POWER! […]
This might be one of the most helpful posts about writing I read so far. Also, the same tips apply to smiling or other things people often do in novels.