by Margie Lawson
Considering all the elements of writing, dialogue tags are like clothespins. When you’re hanging clothes on a line, they have an important job to do. But no one truly values them. Clothespins become rough and faded and cracked, but we keep using them.
Just like writers keep using the same overused dialogue tags that only do one job. They tell the reader who said those words, but they don’t do anything else.
It seems like writers grab the first clothespins that pop into their mind to tag dialogue. They keep the clothes on the line, but they don’t add depth or interest or big-time power.
So many missed opportunities to share important story stuff like subtext. Grab that emotion. Get it on the page!
I’m in the camp of writing experts who recommend avoiding words like said and asked. They may be somewhat invisible, but they’re annoying in audio books. And they add zero subtext.
Most writers know to avoid using adverbs as dialogue tags. A quote from Stephen King nails that point.
I believe the road to hell is paved with adverbs, and I will shout it from the rooftops.
Stephen King went on to say this too:
I insist that you use the adverb in dialogue attribution only in the rarest and most special of occasions . . . and not even then, if you can avoid it.
You have zillions of better choices. Don’t rely on said and asked and adverbs and we’ve-read-them-too-many-times words like whispered and murmured and demanded.
If your attribution could end in ‘ed’ like the words above, avoid them. You can do better.
I’ll share lots of better choices.
What’s their mood? Does anything in the previous paragraph trigger a reaction?
If so, you need to include that subtext, their emotional reaction. And your dialogue tag is a perfect place to share that all-critical subtext. You could use:
—a facial expression
—a dialogue cue (describe their voice)
—a visceral response
—an emotion-based action
—a thought that shares how whatever triggered them impacted them emotionally
Of course, anything you write is better if it’s something the reader hasn’t read before. Not clichéd. Not overused. You can give anything a fresh twist with just a word or two or ten.
We’ll start with some dialogue tags from Laura Drake.
She looked back at her sister.
But Laura really wrote:
Her head whipped back to her sister, thoughts whirling in a dust-devil dance in her mind.
Analysis:
Laura added alliteration and a compelling cadence and made that tag so much more interesting. And dust-devil dance is not just alliterative, it’s themed to the setting. Laura gets extra credit for theming.
See how a dialogue tag can carry double or even triple its weight?
“Plans change, okay?” She lowered her voice. “Can I stay a couple days?”
But Laura really wrote:
“Plans change, okay?” When her words bounced off the too-close walls, she dialed back the volume. She didn’t want more questions. “Can I stay a couple days?”
Analysis:
What does ‘too-close walls’ share with the reader?
They pick up that she feels trapped there. All from Laura Drake choosing to add TOO-CLOSE which freshened that tired cliché and shared the POV character’s truth.
And that’s one of the things that makes writing strong. Sharing truths.
He said, “Okay.”
But Laura really wrote:
The weight in his voice was a siren blaring, warning her to say no. But she owed him, if only for being so good to Mazey. “Okay.”
Analysis:
Check out all this subtext. Laura shared a quality in his voice with a metaphor that she amplified with that warning to say no. But the next sentence explains why she ignores his warning and says okay. Critical stuff that the reader needed to know.
Mazey looked at her. “I’m worried about you.”
But Laura really wrote:
Emotions flashed across Mazey’s face, each too fast to catch before another replaced it. “I’m worried about you.”
Analysis:
What did Laura Drake do?
She added emotion by writing what I call a flicker face expression. Just like what happens in real life.
If you only have two characters in a scene, you don’t need to tag every paragraph of dialogue. Just tag every third or so paragraph. There are fewer tags in this short passage, but it still works.
Dialogue Run – Two sisters are talking. The first line is from the POV character, CJ, who served in the Army. The alternate lines are from her little sister who is nine years old.
“You’re the smartest of us. You know that?”
“Maybe. But you’re the bravest.”
She held in a snort. “Nope. You’re the bravest, too.”
“How’m I brave?”
“You live here full time.”
“It’s not so bad. You survived.”
“Long enough to know it’s not easy.” She felt bad, not staying and helping Mazey—somehow. But she had a trip to take. A promise to keep. They lay quiet for a time. Mazey’s breathing evened out, and CJ thought she’d drifted off.
“You asked me why I like rocks?”
“I did.”
“Rocks don’t leave.” She flipped onto her side, away from CJ. “They never let you down.”
Analysis:
Lots of emotional power at the end of that passage. The reader knows that their mom pays more attention to her loser boyfriend than she does to her young daughter, Mazey.
The dialogue tag – about CJ feeling bad, not staying and helping Mazey – shares CJ’s guilt. That’s a powerful tag.
Dialogue runs pick up pace. Use them!
Fortuna looked at Zera.
But Linda really wrote:
Fortuna patted her belly and belched.
Analysis: Fortuna is a big, boisterous commoner, and that belching tag fits her so well. Love the alliteration with the B words and the assonance with the rhyming vowel sounds. We can count on Fortuna to make the reader laugh!
2. “You look as if you would be sick. Are you so soft-hearted?” Some new notion seemed to flicker across the big woman’s face, and she squinted and peered at Zera. “Or perhaps you are with child?”
Analysis:
Linda tagged Fortuna’s dialogue with a flicker face expression. And it’s perfect!
“Let’s make this fast.” I held out my hand to her.
But Jenn really wrote:
“Let’s make this fast.” I held out my hand to the last person who needed to be saved.
Analysis:
Wow! What a difference that tag makes! And it’s the truth. Our POV character is saving this woman’s life.
Read it out loud. Hear the perfect cadence? And she backloaded that sentence with a power word: saved. Smart!
“What’s your name?” I asked.
But Jenn really wrote:
“What’s your name?” I asked, trying to hide the fangs that frightened her.
Analysis:
The reader knows that the POV character is a vampire. Two power words in that smooth sentence, fangs and frighten. And it’s alliterative too.
He paused. “Alexis, when I first recruited you—”
But Jenn really wrote:
His pause was like a slow-moving stake to the heart. “Alexis, when I first recruited you—”
Analysis:
Love it! I shared another themed example – so you’d remember to do this. You’ll theme some of your dialogue tags. Right?
And that slow-moving stake to the heart adds tension. That tag adds big-time emotional power.
He smiled. “I have to admit, I’m surprised but pleased.”
But Jenn really wrote:
His smile wasn’t smug or smarmy, it was pure and angelic. “I have to admit, I’m surprised but pleased.”
Analysis:
Every smile has a message behind it. Writing a plain smile, or a one-descriptor smile doesn’t share much subtext. You can do better!
Jenn deepened characterization with two descriptors sharing what the smile wasn’t, and two descriptors sharing what it was. Smart to set up that contrast between what expression the POV character expected to see and what she really saw.
“That I’m single.” Those three words hung in the silence.
But Nicole really wrote:
“That I’m single.” Those three words hung in the silence like a dead weight, exposing me in a way I rarely allowed.
Analysis:
Nicole Deese did something she learned in Immersion class. She shared the emotional impact on the POV character: …exposing me in a way I rarely allowed.
Sharing emotional impact is so important, I have a 90-minute webinar on that topic. Game-Changing Power: Sharing Impact on the POV Character. Now you know.
He reached over and patted my leg.
But Nicole really wrote:
He reached over, covering my socked foot with his hand and giving it a squeeze.
Analysis:
It happens in real life, but I’ve never seen that squeeze-her-foot on the page.
Watch your mind-video of all your scenes. What could that character do now, right before or after that line of dialogue you wrote? What do you see happening in your video?
Meaningful action can share emotion too. I see that foot squeeze. I feel the emotion.
At this, Melanie huffed.
But Nicole really wrote:
At this, Melanie huffed. And not the could-be-considered-a-cough kind of huff, either. It was definitely a you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me huff.
Analysis:
I’m a big fan of what I call hyphenated-run-ons. You can write fresh and give the reader a treat too. If they fit your character and your scene, use them. I love how Nicole played with this huff!
He smiled at her. “Madame, I must insist you come with me.”
But Kimberly really wrote:
His smile was like ice water on her skin. “Madame, I must insist you come with me.”
Analysis:
Kimberly used a simile to share the emotional impact of his smile on her. Fabulous!
You may already know I teach writers lots of cool rhetorical devices and how to use them to add emotion and intrigue. You can use them to make your dialogue tags fresh too. If you want to learn twenty more, check out my lecture packet on rhetorical devices.
“You don’t know the code to open your husband’s phone.” His tone is condescending.
But Kimberly really wrote:
“You don’t know the code to open your husband’s phone.” He doesn’t phrase it as a question, and the condescension in his tone makes me want to flip the table, Jersey Housewife style.
Analysis:
Ha! She wants to flip the table, Jersey Housewife style. Kimberly used the rhetorical device allusion to share that rush of emotion for her POV character. Kimberly played fair with her readers. It doesn’t matter if some of them don’t know that reference. They know her character wanted to flip the table, and that emotion slams into them too.
“Enjoy Luxembourg. Say hi to Stella.” The line goes dead before I can respond.
But Kimberly really wrote:
“Enjoy Luxembourg. Say hi to Stella.” A fist clamps down on my heart. The line goes dead before I can respond. I suck in a shaky breath, scrubbing my face with a hand. The day seems to be getting hotter, the crowd behind me louder. The client knows where I am. Worse, she knows my weak spot is Stella.
Analysis:
The visceral response comes first. Because it must. Always.
The stimulus is the dialogue. If you have a visceral response, it is always immediate.
You get why Kimberly wrote the other sentences. Especially the last two. The stakes keep getting worse and worse. Perfect!
She shrugs.
But she really wrote:
She shrugs, purses her lips, all who-cares.
Analysis:
Love how Christina gives the reader more insight into this character. And the way she shares her style, all who-cares, shares power too. Plus, it’s fun.
“Lily’s the type of girl you just like,” I whispered.
But she really wrote:
“Lily’s the type of girl you just like.” My voice is soft, raspy, unrecognizable.
Analysis:
Powerful dialogue cue! Christina used two rhetorical devices in that short six-word sentence.
Evan shakes his head slowly.
But she really wrote:
Evan shakes his head slowly, side to side like the slow, careful swing of an elephant’s tail.
Analysis:
I treated you to another themed tag. The POV character is a zoologist. Such a beautiful sentence.
Detective Lake’s voice was loaded with anger.
But she really wrote:
All the friendliness has dropped from Detective Lake’s voice, and what’s left over is an electric storm. One that’s buzzing around, about to strike.
Analysis:
Wow! What did Christina Delay do?
She shared that he’d been friendly before, but now he was stomping mad. And intent on stomping her into the ground. Only she wrote that idea a lot better than what I just wrote.
But I amplified my version the same way she amplified hers.
We both took what was happening in the first sentence and made it a lot worse in the second sentence. And we also made her his target.
Just sharing that someone is angry doesn’t share the magnitude of their anger. Is his anger like a cat or a lion? In fiction, go for the lion.
Sheesh! That’s a long blog. Thanks for hanging in there.
This blog scratches the surface of dialogue tags. And there are lots more square miles of surface to scratch and scrutinize.
I didn’t even mention a huge category of dialogue tags that I identified and teach. I coined the term Dialogue Cues, and came up with six types: Tone, Inflection, Pitch, Quality, Volume, and Rate. They share the subtext, the psychological messages behind the dialogue.
Drop by my website –– www.margielawson.com –– and you’ll see several webinars that cover subtext, including how to write fresh dialogue cues and facial expressions. So critical to make your scenes carry emotional power!
Don’t grab the first clothespin your fingers touch. Dig deeper. Write a dialogue tag that makes your writing bestseller strong.
As always, a big shout out to all the WITS gals for inviting me to guest blog. Thank you!
Margie Lawson left a career in psychology to focus on her true passion—helping writers make their stories, characters, and words carry psychological power.
An international presenter, Margie’s taught over 200 full day master classes in the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and France, as well as multi-day intensives on cruise ships in the Caribbean. She’s also taught 5-day Immersion Master Classes across the U.S. and Canada and Scotland, and in seven cities in Australia too.
Check out her website–– www.margielawson.com. You’ll find 38 webinars, dates for Immersion classes, and Lawson Writer’s Academy, which has over 30 instructors teaching online courses. The learning is fun, and the payoffs are on your pages.
Top Image by Jenn Windrow
Copyright © 2025 Writers In The Storm - All Rights Reserved
People, if you haven't taken Margie's classes, there's tons of incentive, above. MARGIE taught us to DO THAT!
Jump in, drink the wisdom!
Comment? No one responds to comments here, but nice article, good points. Extended tags like your examples must be used judiciously or they quickly get more tiring than 'said', 'asked,' etc.
Helloo Matthew -
I respond!
Agreed. Share more interest and power when it's needed.
Subtext shares emotion that locks the reader in the POV character's head and heart.
When writers read their scenes, they feel that emotion. But readers need it on the page.
Thanks so much for commenting!
Matthew, we all respond to comments, but Margie's responses are always the most fun. 🙂
Hellooo Laura!
Thank you for championing me
As always, you're the best!
Can you please repost this one? The entire post is being cut off along the margins on both left and right hand sides.
Ritu, I appreciate you saying something! The image was bigger than our usual, so it pushed the text out as well. WordPress plugins are the Wild West this month, so we really appreciate y ou speaking up.
I am sorry. When I saw it on my laptop it worked. Thankyou for such an excellent post.
Ritu --
Glad you clicked in on your laptop. Thank you!
It's always an honor to make Margie's blog -- and I loved reading the other examples, too. I always learn so much from these, thank you!!
Hellooo Kimberly --
I'm so excited that THE PARIS WIDOW is in development for a drama series! I see your scenes so clearly in my mind videos. It will be fabulous to see them on a real screen!
I agree, Kimberly! It's such a thrill to have her analyze our work, isn't it? And I always learn a ton from yours! Congrats on the potential show!!!
Hi, I feel like this is almost click-bait. I love the "But she really wrote" versions. They are excellent. BUT, being pedantic, they are not dialogue tags at all. They are prose. The dialogue ends each time (notice they all have a period or question mark), followed by a well-written sentence providing more story. Dialogue tags by definition would have a comma (except the questions), followed by who said it and a tag. So this is misleading (IMO). This would have been better offered as: "Skip the dialogue tag and share more story instead."
Very good point! Such prose can serve both purposes I suppose..
"'This is not OK!' That was Bob shouting into the wind..."
Hello Marty --
Of course, you're right. Technically what I shared are not dialogue tags, but they do tag dialogue. And so many writers limit themselves to a carry-little-power dialogue tag and move on to the next paragraph.
Not that every line of dialogue needs these goodies.
Thanks for clarifying. Now everyone knows what's what.
Thanks. I do LOVE the examples you gave and I try to do the same. This is a great confirmation and encouragement to do more. I wanted to clarify because I have colleagues who try to do more with the tags, and end up muddying their writing (they actually use adverbs and other words which aren't necessary). Thanks for the post!
Hey Marty -
Great seeing you here again!
You wrote:
...I have colleagues who try to do more with the tags, and end up muddying their writing (they actually use adverbs and other words which aren't necessary)
YIKES! Adverbs and just about any word that COULD end in ED are on my big No-No Attributions list.
Words like commanded and demanded are unnecessary. The dialogue should carry that message.
Words like added, continued, interjected, and reported, retorted aren't needed either.
So many missed opportunities to put more emotional power on the page!
LOVE this! So much more insight into the character and the relationships, alive and intriguing.
Cat --
Yes. Yes. Yes! Thank you!
Great article. I've taken some of Margie's courses and they are all top-notch. Highly recommend them to all writers.
Hello Joan --
Thanks for your top-notch compliment! I appreciate you.
I'm teaching NOT YOUR MAMA'S CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS in February. Such a fun and important class.
You learn how to write fresh character descriptions, but you also get a deep dive into all the deep editing goodies I teach!
Ooooo...I haven't had that class yet....
It's fabulous, Jenny! Just like all the others 😉
Hugs to you, Andrea!!! I heard a rumor we might get to see your magic around WITS as a contributor. SO HAPPY!
This is invaluable, Margie! I am pinning for future reference. It's so easy to get stuck in a rut and use the same tags over and over. I love how you've pointed out there are so much more we can utilize that can tell the reader volumes about the character! Thank you for sharing!
Hello Jan --
Invaluable. Yay!
I love teaching writers how to make their writing fresh and strong and bestseller-bound!
Oh -- I'm having a GET HAPPY Virtual Open House tomorrow. It's 5:00 pm.m - 7:00 p.m. Mountain Time. The link is on my website. Drop by anytime during those two hours.
Hope to see you and everyone else tomorrow!
Margie, you--and these authors--took my breath away. Stunning examples, as always. The best way to teach and learn, as far as I'm concerned. This burst of insights is a keeper.
I'm mentoring a debut author with his first novel. I told him that the first draft is like baking a cake. Then comes the frosting and decorations (rewriting, deleting, expanding). Immediately after I submit this reply I'm sending him the link to your blog.
What you've shared here will help him, and all of us, frost the most wonderful word cakes!
Hellooo Immersion-Grad Chris!
Thank you! Love your cake analogy, but you're making me want to go grab a couple of chocolate chip cookies I made yesterday.
Thanks also for sharing my blog. I appreciate you!
Hope to see and hug you in person sometime this year!
Margie, I absolutely loved this blog post. This is the first time I'm hearing about this expanded type of dialogue tag. I will immediately begin trying this in my current revision project. Thank you.
TomS
Hello Tom S --
Thank you, thank you!
You must be new to all the deep editing goodies I teach. There's a marvelous world of learning waiting for you on my website, http://www.margielawson.com!
Please click over and check out my webinars and lecture packets and online courses too.
If you happen to be free tomorrow between 5:00 and 7:00 p.m. Mountain Time, drop by my GET HAPPY Virtual Open House! You'll meet some cool writers. I bet you'll have a good time!
Hope to see you!
Thank you for the invite. I’ll definitely try to attend. And yes, I’m a relatively new writer.
Tom --
Great! Hope to see you tonight!
Love all the examples.
Shout out to all the authors.
Hello Sandy --
Thank you. Great to see you here!
Really good stuff! Thanks Margie. Love your classes and lecture packets too. So helpful.
Debbie --
Thanks so much!
I'm teaching NOT YOUR MAMA'S CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS in February. I always share lots of deep editing goodies in every class I teach. So you'd learn way more than just how to write fresh character descriptions!
And...if you happen to be free tomorrow, join me in GET HAPPY, my virtual open house!
You'll see a GET HAPPY meme on my website, http://www.margielawson.com. Click on it between 5:00 and 7:00 p.m. tomorrow and you'll be in my zoom room.
Lots of chatter and laughter and good times with cool writers!
I love reading your posts and blogs, they are so helpful and entertaining. I'm planning to join one of your webinars or classes soon. Thank you for sharing.
Charmaine --
Ah... I love teaching writers smart ways to make their writing soar.
I'm glad this blog was helpful and entertained you too!
Can't wait to see you in a webinar or online class. I'm working on my Feb. webinar now!
Thanks so much for chiming in!
Oh -- Did you notice info on my GET HAPPY Virtual Open House? Tomorrow? 5 - 7 p.m. Mountain Time?
Click on the meme on my website, http://www.margielawson, and we'll hang out together!
Hope to see you! Feel free to bring a friend!
Thank you, Margie, for sharing this excellent information and the examples.
I was excited to see the hyphenated run-on and to read that you approve of them. Currently, I'm revising the fifth draft of my WIP YA fantasy, and I have a couple of hyphenated run-ons. I haven't seen them before in my reading and I wasn't sure how they'd play with an editor, so thank you for the affirmation!
Here is an excerpt from one scene with a run-on:
Siobhan let her spoon drop with a clunk into her bowl of Hawthorn Stew. A billow of ginger and clove tickled her throat as she leaned forward to skewer her mother with an I-can’t-believe-you-never-told-me-this look. “What do you mean they almost executed Mahair Mór?”
On the other side of the oval dining table, her mother swept a stray wisp of purple-black hair away from her face. “It happened long ago. Your aunt and I were only faerylings.” She took a sip of wine. Candlelight from the wall sconces glittered on her silver goblet as she replaced it gently on the table. “Stop being melodramatic.”
“Melodramatic?” Thunder rattled the small octagonal window to Siobhan’s left. [Siobhan is 16 and a faerie. Although readers don't know it yet, she has an innate ability to create thunderstorms. She hasn't learned to control that magic yet so, when she gets upset, it thunders.]
I admit I also do use "said" and "asked" at times, but I tried to be a little more descriptive. For example, In a voice edged with glass shards, Siobhan said, “I’m not asking why I haven’t learned this at school, Maeda. Why have you never told me?" Thank you for challenging me to do better.
All the best! 🙂
Hello Christine -
If a hyphenated-run-on fits the emotion of the scene and the personality of the character, go all-out creative and give the reader a treat!
I started to type: go all-out, crazy-pants creative, but it may have been too much for you. In the right scene with the right character, it could be perfect! 🙂
Right, Jenny Hansen? Seems like something you'd write!
Remember to use hyphenated-run-ons for one character per book. The coolest character. 🙂
YOU SHARED:
In a voice edged with glass shards, Siobhan said, “I’m not asking why I haven’t learned this at school, Maeda. Why have you never told me?"
Love your dialogue cue!
Your structure works well. Here's another option:
Siobhan said,
“I’m not asking why I haven’t learned this at school." Siobhan's voice was edged with glass shards. "Why have you never told me?"
Both versions work well. This one may make those glass shards pop more.
I took out Maeda's name. If it's only two characters, I'd nix it.
Scroll up and see the info on my GET HAPPY tomorrow. Hope I get to see you there!
Oh -- I bet you'd love my NOT YOUR MAMA'S CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS class. It starts Feb. 3rd!
Thanks, Margie, for your encouraging feedback. 🙂 I appreciate the alternative option about the glass shards.
I've checked out your website. It is great! 🙂 I hope your open house gets a wonderful turnout tomorrow.
All the best! 🙂
Christine --
Thanks for checking out my website.
Hope to see you at GET HAPPY tonight!
Great information, as always! Thank you!
Jennifer,
Thank you! Glad you liked what you learned in the blog.
Scroll down and you'll see info about my GET HAPPY Virtual Open House tomorrow. If you're free, stop on by!
Oooh...so many great takeaways here... The "could have written" vs. "really wrote" examples are extremely helpful! Thank you!
Hello Harley --
Yay! I love that could-have-written / really-wrote format too!
I hope you click over and check out all the cool stuff on my website.
If you're free tomorrow, drop by my GET HAPPY Virtaul Open House tomorrow. Scroll down for more info!
Hope to see you!
Wow! I had no idea Immersion Writers could make such an impact. I would love to add Immersion tags to my memoir.
Yes, Deb, we learn all that and more in Margie's Immersion Master Classes. I highly recommend!
Hello Deb T --
Immersion Grads Rule! They use what they learn and WOW me with their books!
The 5-day intensives pay off. And they're so much fun too! I've taught over 150 Immersion classes all over the U.S. and in Canada, Australia, Tasmania, and Scotland too!
Check out the Immersion Master Class page on my website!
Thanks for stopping in and sharing your wisdom with us, Margie! I linked a few of your items, like the webinar and the lecture packet, so people could get right to the goodies.
I love Chris' cake analogy! Your knowledge and techniques are definitely the frosting-makers on all my literary cakes. LOL.
Jenny --
Thank you!
I love Chris's frosting analogy too.
I loved the Immersion class he hosted in Anaheim a few years ago. Fabulous! Such a great guy!
HELLO EVERYONE!
I'm having a GET HAPPY Virtual Open House tomorrow.
It's 5:00 pm.m - 7:00 p.m. Mountain Time.
The link is on my website, http://www.margielawson.com. Drop by anytime during those two hours.
Join me! We chat and laugh and get to know each other.
Hope you all can drop by and GET HAPPY!
Still working on all the things I learned in my immersions classes. You learn enough to keep you busy for a lifetime of writing. This was like a refresher class just when I needed it. Wonderful post.
Hello Barbara!
It's been a l-o-n-g time since your Virtual Immersion classes. I loved working with you, and I can still see your scenes in my mind videos. Loved the way you tapped emotions in your character on that motorcycle trip.
Thanks so much for commenting!
If you're free tomorrow, drop by my GET HAPPY Virtual Open House, 5 - 7 p.m. Mountain Time.
Hope to see you!
B.A. - lots of us have taken more than one Immersion, and gotten more out of every one.
Something to think about...
So informative, Margie. Thank you. I love reading your posts and one of them led me to downloading my first seven lectures from you that I'm working my way through.
Hello KJ --
You dove right in those deep editing waters!
Smart, smart, smart.
Thanks for chiming in!
“His smile was like ice water on her skin.“ I had a visceral response to this line. The kind of stuff Margie is famous for teaching. Well done Kimberly Belle.
Hello Anne --
So cool that Kimberly Belle's simile gave you a visceral response. Especially reading it out of context!
If you haven't read THE PARIS WIDOW, grab it now!
I read it on my flight to Paris in October. A perfect pairing of a book and a trip!
Wow, great examples! Thank you for sharing, Margie.
Eileen --
Thank you. Glad my blog grabbed you!
Fabulous examples! Couldn’t help but pick up a new read from those books. Thank you, Margie! As always you bring the gold standard
Hello Cat --
So fun to cyber-see you here, but it would be more fun to see you in person.
Wish I could visit you in New Zealand this year, but I'm traveling to two other continents. Hope to see you next year!
Sharing this excellent post with my writing groups. Love, love all the examples from awesome Immersion Grads!
Barb --
Thanks so much for sharing my blog with your writing groups!
You know -- Immersion Grads rule!
Barb! *waving madly* We miss you around here. So good to see you in the WITS comment section!
I love the way you presented the examples.
Hello Denise -
I love that teaching format too, sharing what they could have written with what they really wrote.
The deep edited version carries so much more power on the page!
Thanks for chiming in!
I really enjoyed your blog Margie. Thanks for sharing those amazing snippits, I found them both entertaining and enlightening.
Hello Jacque --
Thanks for letting me know that these examples and teaching points grabbed you.
You'll find lots more learning opportunities on my website. When you have a few free minutes, check it out! http://www.margielawson.com
And -- If you happen to be free tonight, drop by my GET HAPPY Virtual Open House. It's 5:00 - 7:00 p.m. Mountain Time.
I believe you're in Brisbane, right? If so, I'm pretty sure that's 10:00 a.m. for you.
Hope to see you!
Fab teaching as always, Margie. And love,love,love those examples. Those authors never fail to inspire!
Hellooo Andrea --
Always fabulous to cyber-see you! And I bet I get to see you in GET HAPPY in six hours!
Margie, Your rhetorical device class I took long ago was one of my all time favorites. So many wonderful tricks to capture and engage. Thank you for these reminders.
Hello Karen --
Rhetorical devices are power tools for writers! Hope to see you in another class sometime.
I'm teaching NOT YOUR MAMA'S CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS next month. It starts Feb. 3rd.
Every class I teach shares a wide range of deep edit goodies. You might want to check it out.
Wow! A fantastic post.
It's good to read someone who isn't constantly telling us to use 'said'.
I recently did a word cloud and discovered I use 'looked' rather a lot. I'm now trying to find other ways of saying this.
Hello VM --
Thank you! Hope to see you again sometime!
When you have a few minutes, click over to my website -- http://www.margielawson.com. It's loaded with lecture packets and online courses and webinars.
I'm teaching Not Your Mama's Character Descriptions in February. You learn waaaaaay more than how to write fresh character descriptions. I cover lots of my psychologically based deep editing tips and techniques too.
Now you know!
Thanks for chiming in.
Love these examples! Thank you so much for sharing them. Always helpful to see specific examples.
Hello Lana --
Glad you love the examples. Me too!
If you happen to be free in about four hours, drop by my GET HAPPY Virtual Open House! You'l see the link on my website -- http://www.margielawson.com.
You'd get to meet cool writers! Hope to see you.
Hello Everyone!
A big THANK YOU to you all for dropping by WITS and reading my blog. I hope my teaching points stick and that you have fun adding more power to your WIP!
Want to learn more of my deep editing tips and techniques?
Take a few minutes and click around on my website -- wwwmargielawson.com.
You'll find lots of lecture packets and online courses and webinars. That's 39 webinars!
The winner tonight gets to select one of those 39 webinars.
I used a random number generator to select our winner tonight.
The lucky winner of one of my webinars is Harley Christensen!
I'll reach out to Harley and share the good news.
Thanks again to all of you for connecting in the comments section and making me smile!
Congratulations, Harley! Enjoy that webinar. 🙂
These examples are lovely, and so clear. Thanks!
Great post, and I loved learning two new words: Asyndeton and Zeugma. I employ both in my own writing. They're powerful.
Oh, wow! These examples are all so fabulous. Honored that you included me among these other amazing authors. Great insights, as always, Margie, and also, a great encouragement to keep putting in the extra effort.
Margie,
Thanks for the great post on Dialogue Tags. Writers will find your examples beneficial for their works-in-progress as well as improving some of their older stories.
As always, you rock!!
Thanks, Jackie!
This post is so great I shared it with my critique group!
That's wonderful, Mary! I hope they find it valuable.