Across the electronic gulf in the early years of the twenty-first century the Writers in the Storm web page was likely being watched keenly and closely by intelligences searching for ways to improve their art and craft of writing.
With thanks and apologies to H. G. Wells, welcome to The Shadow Before, some thoughts on foreshadowing, and Mars.
Heads
The beginning and ending link your story together. They help to make it a whole, instead of simply a series of incidents. And one of the strongest techniques for the first part is foreshadowing.
Let’s take a look at what foreshadowing is, what it can do for you, and why it’s so useful.
An overview
Foreshadowing is a narrative device where the storyteller gives advance hints and clues about what is to come later in the story.
Foreshadowing most often appears early in a story. It helps develop the audience's expectations about upcoming events.
Foreshadowing can show detail or it can explain the whole story.
When it doesn’t work, it’s often either too obscure or too heavy-handed.
Torso
Ready? Off to Mars, as envisioned by Robert A. Heinlein in 1949.
“The thin air of Mars was chill but not really cold. It was not yet winter in southern latitudes and the daytime temperature was usually above freezing. The queer creature standing outside the door of a dome-shaped building was generally manlike in appearance, but no human being ever had a head like that. A thing like a coxcomb jutted out above the skull, the eye lenses were wide and staring, and the front of the face stuck out in a snout. The unearthly appearance was increased by a pattern of black and yellow tiger stripes covering the entire head. The creature was armed with a pistol-type hand weapon slung at its belt and was carrying, crooked in its right arm, a ball, larger than a basketball, smaller than a medicine ball.”
A Caveat
Now before you start writing me to complain, I know this is not the real Mars. This is the Mars of Perceval Lowell and canals, where a dying race created enormous irrigation projects to move water from the poles to their cities. In real life it ain’t like that, but Red Planet was written over seventy years ago and as a story it works as well today as it did when Truman was President.
A brief digression will shed some light on this.
In 1888 Italian astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli announced that he had observed what he called canali on Mars, and drew a sketch. To Schiaparelli, these were purely natural features of the landscape. “Canali“ is Italian for channels. Translated into English, the word became “canals,” Lowell believed it, and the rest is history.
Some analysis
Let’s take Heinlein’s opening apart and see how in a few sentences the Grand Master sets up the whole book.
It’s cold, but not winter so it’s going to get colder.
The helmet has tiger stripes, so residents decorate their headgear.
There is air, just not much. You can go outside with a respirator.
There are Martian natives.
And the hero is carrying a weapon.
Those are basically the important story elements of Red Planet.
In this case foreshadowing works well; it sets the reader’s expectations. When changes turn up, like being trapped outside at night to freeze to death, they don’t come out of the blue to break the narrative flow, nor does the writer have to stop to explain what’s happening.
Foreshadowing across multiple books
Working on this essay, I realized that foreshadowing can stretch across a whole series. In One For the Money Janet Evanovich opens with “There are some men who enter a woman’s life and screw it up forever. Joseph Morelli did this to me—not forever, but periodically.” And that’s it, the heart of one of the most famous series of thrillers ever.
Prologue
Ok, here’s another famous one, from The Bard himself.
Two households, both alike in dignity, In fair Verona, where we lay our scene, From ancient grudge break to new mutiny, Where civil blood makes civil hands unclean. From forth the fatal loins of these two foes A pair of star-cross'd lovers take their life; Whose misadventured piteous overthrows Do with their death bury their parents' strife. The fearful passage of their death-mark'd love, And the continuance of their parents' rage, Which, but their children's end, nought could remove, Is now the two hours' traffic of our stage; The which if you with patient ears attend, What here shall miss, our toil shall strive to mend.
That’s right, Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet opens with direct foreshadowing of the entire tragedy.
Shapes of the Shadow
Just as shadows are longer in the afternoon, foreshadowing comes in different degrees, and the examples in this post illustrate that.
Heinlein sets up the elements of the story — climate, aliens, weapons.
Shakespeare encapsulates the whole story.
Evanovich lays the foundation for over twenty novels.
When you think about your “Heads,” think about how much you want to reveal, and should it be background or plot? Here’s some free advice: most of us should avoid telling the whole story up front. That requires enormous skill.
Too Much is — Too Much.
A personal rant. Note that I have filed off the serial numbers to make this next example unrecognizable. I have a policy of not criticizing work by name. In reviews of course I do, but this is different and I don’t want to distract from the message. Ok. Here’s the opening of the story.
Our young, talented Hero who is going steady with a really nice young woman, meets the slinky Bad Girl, ditches his girlfriend, and destroys his talent while he’s having a good time. Yikes. I got that far and bailed.
You see the rest of the story, too, don’t you?
At the last minute he comes to his senses and . . . Ok, l could be wrong, but I was not motivated to invest the time to find out. If foreshadowing is too heavy-handedly applied, your reader will think she knows the story and quit reading.
. . . And Tails
Or tales. Sorry, I just couldn’t resist.
Kids who are bullied learn to watch for shadows coming up behind them on the playground because it may be the neighborhood bully looking for lunch money. Many readers have learned to keep an eye out for early clues, and writers have learned to provide that shadow.
Ignoring famous pitcher Satchel Paige, who said, “Don’t look back; something might be gaining on you,” we have come from the sands of a Mars that never was (but should have been IMHO) through Trenton to ancient Verona, looking at shadows. Teenagers with alien friends, star-crossed lovers, all their stories benefitted by the shadow before.
The best way to learn this part of the writing craft is by studying examples, and that's where you come in. Do you have a "favorite shadow?" Have you created one? Now’s your chance to tell us about it in the comments!
* * * * * *
About James
James R. Preston is the author of the multiple-award-winning Surf City Mysteries. He is currently at work on the sixth, called Remains To Be Seen. His most recent works are Crashpad and Buzzkill, two historical novellas set in the 1960’s at Cal State Long Beach. Kirkus Reviews called Buzzkill “A historical thriller enriched by characters who sparkle and refuse to be forgotten.” His books are collected as part of the California Detective Fiction collection at the University of California Berkeley.
17 comments on “The Shadow Before -- Thoughts on Foreshadowing”
Hi James! Thanks for the great article.
This is one of those skills that I usually don't remember to do until like the 3rd draft, after I've already driven myself crazy. I always think the plotters are brilliant at this, since they have all their foreshadowing laid out in advance.
Do you plan it in advance, or put it in after you've drafted the story. Enquiring minds want to know...
Thanks, Jenny. Well, I wish I could say I planned it all out in advance, but the reality is I usually think about laying the groundwork after I am into the first draft. I think it's important to set things up so you don't appear to save the day by pulling a rabbit out of your hat. There's a famous quote about "If you want to sink a ship you need to mention a storm brewing, then a loose rivet . . . " Anybody else remember that one?
Thanks for sharing!
I'm a pantser/planster and I've often found that my subconscious has already covered foreshadowing when I go back to layer it in. I recall in one of my early Mapleton mysteries, something that turned out to be a clue to the killer (confession--I didn't know who the killer was when I started writing) needed to be expanded upon. Not giving anything away here! It wasn't hard to drop in little glimpses of that clue elsewhere, for different characters.
Terry, that's great! Yes, your subconscious can be at work even when you're not aware of it. I'm amazed at writers who write the story to see who did it. Ed McBain (87th Precinct police procedurals) said somewhere that he never knew and was glad. If he knew how the story ended it was just typing. I'm impressed with both of you!
And I'm going to remember "pantser/plantser" because that's the way I work, too. I just didn't have a name for it.
Thanks!
It's in my opening line: "Fate had a plan for Jon'than Hawk and Jon'than sometimes wished he knew what it was." This sets up his whole part of the book, maybe series. It also goes to theme: how much control/freedom do we have in the universe?
I love that opening line, Debbie. Makes me think of Dylan, Ballad of a Thin Man, and "somethin's happenin' here but you don't know what it is do you, Mr. Jones."
It's a good setup for a journey to realization and awareness. How far along are you in the work? Is it complete? Feel free to reply with the title. Writers in the Storm understands a little self-promotion.
I think foreshadowing is one of my favorite parts of writing a book. I love to add little details, like breadcrumbs, that lead the reader to the real heart of the story.
Now admittedly I’m a planner. So I usually know all those fun details at the start, but there are times when I’m writing that something happens that surprises me!
And isn't that a great feeling, Jennifer, when your story surprises you! I think that's one of the best things about our craft. I also like your name for it. "Breadcrumbs" definitely describes those little nuggets of information that turn out to be important.
Thanks for sharing!
Great explanation of foreshadowing. Nowadays, I'm another one of those writers whose subconscious sets up the foreshadowing. I discover it when I go back to seed in a detail I thought I just dreamed up. Surprise...I had already written a tiny hint before I knew the detail. I usually need to expand a bit on that hint, but it's almost always there waiting for me to discover it.
When I first started writing, I had to re-write, cut and re-write before I would get the right amount of foreshadowing for the story. Perhaps that's what eventually drummed it into my subconscious.
Lynette, what an interesting comment! If I understand it correctly, your subconscious has been trained to plant tidbits that you come back to find. See Jennifer Windrow's comment above about "breadcrumbs." How cool to think that the writer might find her own breadcrumbs and be pleasantly surprised.
I think the underlying truth here is that while we are immersed in a story, we are doing more than we realize. That's a half-formed thought; what do you think?
Thanks!
Lisa, thank you so much! I appreciate the kind words. And I love books with those hints, too. I'm glad you liked the article -- now get out there and write!
I'm more of a pantser/planster. In my Elemental Worlds duo I needed to identify which is the prince and which is the doppelganger created by magic. I suddenly realised I had the answer all along. The protagonist's dog had been growling at the doppelganger all through the books. A foreshadowing I hadn't thought about until the end.
I love it, V. M. The story knew why the dog was growling before you did. And that feeling you must have had when you realized what you'd been doing all along must have been really something! Thanks for sharing a great example of hidden breadcrumbs.
My writing process, which is extreme-plotting based, has a long list of prompts.
One of them is:
13. Foreshadowing (“Foreshadowing…is most effective…when it stirs within the story’s CHARACTERS a shift of emotion.” Outward signs don’t “unless the mark a subtle contrast with characters’ feeling.” p. 223 of The Fire in Fiction, Maass)
This prompt is something I consider and fill in in writing for every scene in every book, because Maass' chapter is about how to have 'Microtention all the time,' and he shows how to do this with foreshadowing, giving an excellent example.
So, before I write the scene, I've already asked myself where (not if) there might be a good place to foreshadow something coming along in a later chapter.
For the scene I happened to be working on, it brought up the following thoughts:
"And all about whether she could even do what he wanted, however much SHE wanted.
"Is noticing that he is still very positive about HIS wants - and willing to debate them!
Outward sign vs. inner shift in character’s emotions: "THIS she might be able to work with - what a concept!"
"Where had the tightness behind her sternum gone?"
When I write the scene, I will include parts of what I worked out in the prompts - because the very specific questions always seem to bring at least SOMETHING out.
It doesn't take long to fill out my prompts, but each one gets individual and timely attention. So I'm working on a single scene at a time, but keeping the whole book's plot involved.
The process leads to considering and including much in the way of texture and depth - automatically - in constructing each scene. It helps me generate immediately applicable ideas, and their actual text. So the foreshadowing isn't an afterthought, but integral to building the story in each scene.
Alicia, thank you for a very thoughtful comment. I apologize for the delay in answering -- I've been at Kaiser for some post-op procedures.
Your comment is really enlightening, I'm going to have to give it more thought. My first impressions are that your "first drafts" are much, much closer to the finished product than mine Your up-front effort really pays off.
Side note -- Donald Maas & I shared a taxi in Seattle to a convention. He is every bit as interesting to talk to as he is to read.
Thanks for contributing!
Probably should have mentioned (most people have read about this before) that I am an extreme plotter - and that I work one scene at a time, from getting everything that belongs in it together to the final editing and polishing, and don't go back.
My brain has been damaged by chronic illness, so I can only work on about a scene's worth at a time anyway, but my process/method ensures I don't leave anything out in the structure, so when I get to each scene, I can just write.
Hi James! Thanks for the great article.
This is one of those skills that I usually don't remember to do until like the 3rd draft, after I've already driven myself crazy. I always think the plotters are brilliant at this, since they have all their foreshadowing laid out in advance.
Do you plan it in advance, or put it in after you've drafted the story. Enquiring minds want to know...
Thanks, Jenny. Well, I wish I could say I planned it all out in advance, but the reality is I usually think about laying the groundwork after I am into the first draft. I think it's important to set things up so you don't appear to save the day by pulling a rabbit out of your hat. There's a famous quote about "If you want to sink a ship you need to mention a storm brewing, then a loose rivet . . . " Anybody else remember that one?
Thanks for sharing!
I'm a pantser/planster and I've often found that my subconscious has already covered foreshadowing when I go back to layer it in. I recall in one of my early Mapleton mysteries, something that turned out to be a clue to the killer (confession--I didn't know who the killer was when I started writing) needed to be expanded upon. Not giving anything away here! It wasn't hard to drop in little glimpses of that clue elsewhere, for different characters.
Terry, that's great! Yes, your subconscious can be at work even when you're not aware of it. I'm amazed at writers who write the story to see who did it. Ed McBain (87th Precinct police procedurals) said somewhere that he never knew and was glad. If he knew how the story ended it was just typing. I'm impressed with both of you!
And I'm going to remember "pantser/plantser" because that's the way I work, too. I just didn't have a name for it.
Thanks!
It's in my opening line: "Fate had a plan for Jon'than Hawk and Jon'than sometimes wished he knew what it was." This sets up his whole part of the book, maybe series. It also goes to theme: how much control/freedom do we have in the universe?
I love that opening line, Debbie. Makes me think of Dylan, Ballad of a Thin Man, and "somethin's happenin' here but you don't know what it is do you, Mr. Jones."
It's a good setup for a journey to realization and awareness. How far along are you in the work? Is it complete? Feel free to reply with the title. Writers in the Storm understands a little self-promotion.
What a great article!
I think foreshadowing is one of my favorite parts of writing a book. I love to add little details, like breadcrumbs, that lead the reader to the real heart of the story.
Now admittedly I’m a planner. So I usually know all those fun details at the start, but there are times when I’m writing that something happens that surprises me!
And isn't that a great feeling, Jennifer, when your story surprises you! I think that's one of the best things about our craft. I also like your name for it. "Breadcrumbs" definitely describes those little nuggets of information that turn out to be important.
Thanks for sharing!
Great explanation of foreshadowing. Nowadays, I'm another one of those writers whose subconscious sets up the foreshadowing. I discover it when I go back to seed in a detail I thought I just dreamed up. Surprise...I had already written a tiny hint before I knew the detail. I usually need to expand a bit on that hint, but it's almost always there waiting for me to discover it.
When I first started writing, I had to re-write, cut and re-write before I would get the right amount of foreshadowing for the story. Perhaps that's what eventually drummed it into my subconscious.
Lynette, what an interesting comment! If I understand it correctly, your subconscious has been trained to plant tidbits that you come back to find. See Jennifer Windrow's comment above about "breadcrumbs." How cool to think that the writer might find her own breadcrumbs and be pleasantly surprised.
I think the underlying truth here is that while we are immersed in a story, we are doing more than we realize. That's a half-formed thought; what do you think?
Thanks!
It takes a lot of skill to write a beautiful how to article. I love it when books tease me with hints.
Lisa, thank you so much! I appreciate the kind words. And I love books with those hints, too. I'm glad you liked the article -- now get out there and write!
I'm more of a pantser/planster. In my Elemental Worlds duo I needed to identify which is the prince and which is the doppelganger created by magic. I suddenly realised I had the answer all along. The protagonist's dog had been growling at the doppelganger all through the books. A foreshadowing I hadn't thought about until the end.
I love it, V. M. The story knew why the dog was growling before you did. And that feeling you must have had when you realized what you'd been doing all along must have been really something! Thanks for sharing a great example of hidden breadcrumbs.
My writing process, which is extreme-plotting based, has a long list of prompts.
One of them is:
13. Foreshadowing (“Foreshadowing…is most effective…when it stirs within the story’s CHARACTERS a shift of emotion.” Outward signs don’t “unless the mark a subtle contrast with characters’ feeling.” p. 223 of The Fire in Fiction, Maass)
This prompt is something I consider and fill in in writing for every scene in every book, because Maass' chapter is about how to have 'Microtention all the time,' and he shows how to do this with foreshadowing, giving an excellent example.
So, before I write the scene, I've already asked myself where (not if) there might be a good place to foreshadow something coming along in a later chapter.
For the scene I happened to be working on, it brought up the following thoughts:
"And all about whether she could even do what he wanted, however much SHE wanted.
"Is noticing that he is still very positive about HIS wants - and willing to debate them!
Outward sign vs. inner shift in character’s emotions: "THIS she might be able to work with - what a concept!"
"Where had the tightness behind her sternum gone?"
When I write the scene, I will include parts of what I worked out in the prompts - because the very specific questions always seem to bring at least SOMETHING out.
It doesn't take long to fill out my prompts, but each one gets individual and timely attention. So I'm working on a single scene at a time, but keeping the whole book's plot involved.
The process leads to considering and including much in the way of texture and depth - automatically - in constructing each scene. It helps me generate immediately applicable ideas, and their actual text. So the foreshadowing isn't an afterthought, but integral to building the story in each scene.
Alicia, thank you for a very thoughtful comment. I apologize for the delay in answering -- I've been at Kaiser for some post-op procedures.
Your comment is really enlightening, I'm going to have to give it more thought. My first impressions are that your "first drafts" are much, much closer to the finished product than mine Your up-front effort really pays off.
Side note -- Donald Maas & I shared a taxi in Seattle to a convention. He is every bit as interesting to talk to as he is to read.
Thanks for contributing!
Probably should have mentioned (most people have read about this before) that I am an extreme plotter - and that I work one scene at a time, from getting everything that belongs in it together to the final editing and polishing, and don't go back.
My brain has been damaged by chronic illness, so I can only work on about a scene's worth at a time anyway, but my process/method ensures I don't leave anything out in the structure, so when I get to each scene, I can just write.