Fans: The Good, The Bad & 6 Tips for Preventing "The Ugly"
by Rebecca Forster
When I started writing, my definition of a fan was anyone who loved my books and me for writing them. I wanted a thousand-million-zillion fans. Over the course of 40 years, as both a traditional and independent author, I managed to collect a few.
The Oxford dictionary tells us that fan is short for fanatic, a word introduced into English around 1550. The word is defined as “marked by excessive enthusiasm and often intense, uncritical devotion”.
The Good Fans...
My first fan was a woman who wrote me a lovely note on beautiful stationery. We corresponded and finally met at the airport for lunch when she passed through town. Her husband, wary because, as he pointed out, I could be an ‘800-pound gorilla”, came to protect his wife from me, a rather short, newly minted author. Later, my first-fan’s husband sent me a tiny gorilla that still lives on a lampshade in my home. We still laugh about it.
Another letter, written in a shaky hand, was signed “Mavis”. I believed I was writing to an old woman. Imagining her to be frail and lonely, I sent her free books which I could ill-afford in those days. I was actually writing to an older gentleman with bad handwriting named ‘Marvin’. He was a stock broker to the ultra-rich. We remained friends and fans of one another until he passed away.
There are so many more stories of fabulous people I have met because of my books. And then there are the unbelievable and frightening ones.
And the Not-So-Good…
One day, I opened a fan letter to find three pages of praise for my work written in a tight hand. I was humbled by the detailed notations. Then I got to this: When I get out of this hell hole maybe we can have coffee. I looked at the envelope and saw that the return address was a notorious California prison, and the writing was typical of inmates for whom paper is a luxury.
I did not write back.
And the Truly Ugly Fans…
Once we entered the digital age, interaction with readers grew by leaps and bounds. Readers wrote often, some with praise and some because they found typos. I was energized by the give-and-take until two more crossed the line.
My first stalking began with an avalanche of phone calls, my number gleaned from a writing group’s roster. The woman showed up at every book signing, taking pictures of me with a telephoto lens. One morning I found an envelope on my doorstep, the pictures inside. Every new encounter felt like an escalating threat.
Another, a man, believed I would leave my husband for him. I dreaded my email and worried that he might travel to find me.
A third—along with her family— bombarded me with emails, begging me to be the woman’s friend. If I refused, then she would refuse a life-saving operation. Her life was in my hands and I didn’t even know the woman.
The stories of these encounters are long and better told over a glass of wine, but the point is that public caution should be part of your writing life.
6 Tips to Prevent “The Ugly”
Here are a few tips to keep you safe from the fanatics and open to your fans.
1. P.O. Boxes
Get one. It is tax-deductible. Even though we are in the digital world, fans sometimes want to send cards and gifts. The return address on thank-you notes should be the PO Box number.
2. A digital address
Funnel your website and social media e-mail communication through a dedicated generic email.
3. Language
In any communication, be aware of overly effusive language about your work, hyper-focus on you personally, and/or questions about your private life. These are red flags.
4. Phone calls
Use extreme caution. An innocent phone call ‘just to say hello’ from my first stalker became a nightmare. Politely say,“ I’m not much for the phone, but I would love an email.”
5. In-person meetings
Only on your terms, in daylight, at a busy venue, after you have vetted the fan. Email or text your location, time of meeting, and name of person you’re with to a trusted source.
6. Vet a fan’s social media
Posts about family, friends, hobbies get a thumbs up. Long posts about depression, health, and traumatic events are a red flag.
Final Thought
Our work as authors is solitary but never really lonely. Our bursts of energy and inspiration are what we live for. Even when they desert us, we revel in the challenge of problem solving.
When a person contacts us to say they appreciate the story we’ve told, the seamless way we tell it, the way we brought our characters to life, our hard work is joyously validated. It is an unfortunate fact of any creative profession that there will be outliers, people who read more into our work than we intend and want more of ourselves than we are willing to give.
So our final job is to control our personal narrative. Do that and there will always be happy endings.
What are your experiences interacting with your fans and readers? Do you have any tips to add (or your own crazy stories to tell)? Please do share them down in the comments!
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About Rebecca
Rebecca Forster started writing on a crazy dare and found her passion. Now a USA Today and Amazon best selling author, Forster is known for her legal thrillers and police procedurals. Over three million readers have enjoyed her Josie Bates thrillers in the Witness Series alone. With over 40 books to her name, Rebecca had a long career in traditional publishing before becoming an indie author. Her fast-paced tales of law and justice are known for deep characterization and never-see-it-coming endings.
In an effort to make her work as realistic as possible, Rebecca has graduated from the DEA and ATF Citizens academies, landed by tail hook and spent two days on the nuclear submarine U.S.S Nimitz, engaged in police ride-alongs, and continues to court watch whenever possible.
Rebecca has taught at the acclaimed UCLA Writers Program and various colleges and universities. She is a sought-after speaker at bar and judges' associations as well as philanthropic groups and writing conferences. Rebecca is also a repeat speaker at the LA Times Festival of Books.
Rebecca has just released The 9th Witness, the final book in her acclaimed Witness Series, Josie Bates Thrillers. Find all her books at any online bookstore or here: https://www.rebeccaforster.com/.
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19 comments on “Fans: The Good, The Bad & 6 Tips for Preventing "The Ugly"”
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Thanks for posting with us, Rebecca! I got chills reading about your stalker. Good Lord.
Two questions:
Do you think different genres attract more or less "ugly fans?" What have you heard from your fellow authors?
Also, do you think this is an issue that's gotten worse in the digital age?
Jenny, Those are great questions. Actually, I think the problem skews in favor of romance for two reasons. First, the market is just bigger and the passion inspired is considered 'romantic'. I hope that makes sense. And, yes, the issue is much worse in the digital age. Conversely, the digital age allows the author to explore and assess the person reaching out.
I have not been afflicted (yet!) with excessively adoring fans. (Maybe if and when one of my books becomes heralded as The Great American Novel ...)
Seriously, though, your points here are important and not to be pooh-poohed. People out there are getting weirder by the day - our culture encourages it by dismissing all social boundaries. For other reasons of personal security, I have had a PO box since 2006, long before I published anything.
Recently, a man in his mid-80s, who grew up in my home town, found my email address and asked if I would exchange remembrances of people, places, and events of that town, a very small rural community in southern Maine. After several email exchanges that I did find of interest, I determined that he is just plain lonely for communication with others. He and I didn't know each other, although he did hang out for a while with my oldest brother, who told me he remembers the fellow. But he thought I was ignoring him when I didn't reply to his emails within minutes of him sending them. I told him a number of times that I am running a business, aside from several other interests and obligations, including work with a nonprofit organization, so I couldn't spend all day swapping emails. But either he couldn't hear it or he wouldn't hear it. It's kind of sad, but he left of his own accord.
Sally, This gave me a bit of a shiver. I too love to talk with people who are elderly and seem lonely, but the line is crossed when there is an expectation of immediacy. I am glad he left of his own accord. It could have gone either way and you handled this perfectly. You were generous and kind and understood there was a tipping point.
Good points. In my case I must *have* fans first.
You must do readings at bookstores or meet fans at genre conventions? I would think those would represent the most potential danger if your work draws a lot of crazy people.
Good luck and congratulations
Matthew, I actually don't do signings any more. I met one at a large writers/readers group, the other was an online instance that I didn't read the signs of escalation, and the third I was halfway around the world and it was a chance meeting. You just never know. There will be fans, I have no doubt. Good luck on the journey. It is 99% hard work and fun. It's that pesky 1%.
Hi Rebecca,
This was a real eye-opener. Your suggestions for warding off the ugly are helpful. After we move, one of the items on my list is getting a PO Box.
Thanks!
Ellen, Excellent! I will confess, the P.O. Box was not my idea. My husband insisted after I got letters from both men's and women's prison! I'd love to take credit but it was all him. I hope you moved somewhere wonderful. Don't forget the P.O. Box goes in the back of the book for the snail-mailers.
I will remember your warnings!
No uglies yet, unless the random phone calls from Folsom, CA (we screen our calls, and never answer unknown callers) where there is a famous prison, have anything to do with my writing - which I doubt!
Most of my reviewers are people I have approached myself, based on their wonderful and thoughtful reviews of other books which share similarities, and may have become friends and supporters.
I won't write that many books in the rest of my life, but I treasure those who like my work, and are embarrassingly fulsome. Wish there were more of them.
Alicia, I treasure my fans too and the good friends some fans have become. I received letters from the prisons and that's what actually prompted the P.O. Don't be surprised if it is your writing that has sparked something. I was surprised to find it was my women's fiction that found it's way into the prisons, not my thrillers. Those were the books that prompted the letters. You just never know. Congrats on your books. No matter how many you write, the fact that you—and those on this site—have written even one book means we are in the 1% that finish!!! That makes me your fan.
Thanks!
Pride's Children: PURGATORY and NETHERWORLD are the first two parts of a mainstream contemporary literary trilogy, a single story; I'm working to finish LIMBO.
I do live in a protected community - with a mailroom and a 24/7 Front Desk - so probably won't need a PO Box, but will bear that in mind if I ever receive a letter (no letters so far) that has any red flags.
I liked your detail about the tight writing because of paper shortage - makes perfect sense. I don't mind where any real fans might be, and if I were in jail books would be my salvation. But we do have to practice safe writing!
Love the titles of your books. And yes, gated with the mailroom is wonderful, just know that using that address it will be clear you live there. The other option is simply not having a snail mail. It's not really necessary anymore but because I'm married to a judge we are both pretty cautious especially after my first experience.
Great advice.
I thought so too, Denise!
Thank you taking a look, Denise. Have a great thanksgiving.
Interesting stories. I'm definitely impressed by your innovative approach to research. Unfortunately for me, as a devoted sci-fi author, NASA doesn't offer 'ride alongs.'
Dang it! Wouldn't that be awesome? I wrote a futuristic story set on the moon for an NYC Midnight contest, and the research was fascinating.
Rebecca, great post. I hear a lot of authors saying they can't afford a PO box. I agree with you that it's needed. Sharing or using a virtual PO box are also options. Having been through a stalking situation, there is no cost too high to avoid that.
Do tell me more about the virtual PO Boxes!