The Dance of the Em Dash
A Birthday Waltz for Jenny Hansen
by Lisa Norman
Author’s note: Today is Jenny Hansen’s birthday, and I was challenged to write something to celebrate her. You may notice this article is not in my normal style. No editors were harmed in the writing of this article. Although one did require a bit of a hug afterwards.
For Jenn, on your birthday—may your prose be lively, your commas cooperative, and your semicolons never lonely.
Scene 1: The Ballroom Opens
The chandeliers glitter, casting commas of light across polished marble. The great ballroom of Language hums with anticipation, ever-changing as the lights shift with the seasons.
Through tall golden doors, the punctuation marks sweep in.
Commas, normally so reliable and powerful, chatter like excitable cousins at a wedding, clustering and clinging, never quite finishing a thought. Dancing with and, and deep in discussions of Oxford versus minimalism.
Periods tap polished shoes to keep time. Solid. Steady. Reliable.
Semicolons hover near the punch bowl, sighing about how no one truly appreciates refinement anymore.
And then—cue the fanfare—the em dash bursts through the doors. Glitter. Swagger. Spotlight. Every eye turns.
Scene 2: Enter the Em Dash
The em dash doesn’t simply enter—it commands. Each stride a statement, each interruption an encore. It—oh, there it goes again—cuts off the poor colon mid-explanation.
Writers swoon. Nothing says drama like a dashy entrance.
“Why use a period,” they whisper, “when you can leave your reader dangling, breathless—just—like—this?”
The em dash twirls beneath the chandeliers, scattering tiny hyphens like glitter.
Somewhere, a comma faints.
The em dash becomes a solid feature of every best seller. Used cautiously like the spicy attention-seeker it is.
Scene 3: AI Learns the Steps
In the shadows by the orchestra, something hums—a quiet algorithm keeping rhythm.
AI watches, recording every sway, every glittering dash.
It studies billions of lines where the em dash twirls and the comma stumbles, where humans dance on the edge of grammar. And it learns. Em dashes are power.
Soon, every AI draft reads like a Broadway revue choreographed to feature the power of the em dash.
Em dash. Em dash. Em dash.
Too much spice! But… more human than ever before.
The writers pause mid-spin.
“Wait—if I use too many,” someone whispers, “will readers think I’m the bot?”
Scene 4: Humans Change the Tune
The chandeliers flicker as the music stutters. A new rhythm takes hold—chaotic, human. Imperfect.
Writers begin to trip deliberately:
- Misspeling words, definately.
- They repeat repeat words.
- Sentences are left hanging mid
- They sneeze mid-keystroke: asdflkj.
Laughter ripples through the ballroom. The orchestra hesitates, unsure whether this is rehearsal or rebellion.
(And somewhere, the Grammarwitch, my amazing editor, clutches her editing pen like a sword. Don’t worry, Lori—it’s all on porpoise. Now she’s clutching her double strand of pearls in horror.)
Scene 5: The Feedback Loop
AI joins the floor. The lights flash in binary—on, off, on—as circuits hum in time with the waltz.
Now the bots mimic the humans mimicking the bots. They stumble gracefully, pretending to forget the steps, adding a typo flourish here, a double word there.
The ballroom becomes a whirl of mirrors. Reflections of reflections of reflections.
Who’s leading now? Who’s following? The music doesn’t seem to know either.
Scene 6: The Toast
The orchestra quiets. The chandeliers dim to candlelight.
Across the glittering floor, commas and colons pair off, exhausted. Even the em dash slows, pausing mid-gesture—just this once—to let everyone catch their breath.
Raise your glass.
To punctuation—forever personified.
To writers—forever messy, magical, and occasionally misspelling for effect.
To AI—forever awkwardly trying to keep up.
And most of all, to Jenn—may your birthday be punctuated exactly as you please (with or without em dashes).
Has the dance of AI interfered with your writing style?
Alternatively, please feel free to add birthday wishes for the amazing Jenny Hansen!
* * * * * *
About Lisa
Lisa Norman's passion has been writing since she could hold a pencil. While that is a cliché, she is unique in that her first novel was written on gum wrappers. As a young woman, she learned to program and discovered she has a talent for helping people and computers learn to work together and play nice. When she's not playing with her daughter, writing, or designing for the web, she can be found wandering the local beaches.
Lisa writes as Deleyna Marr and is the owner of No Stress Writing Academy. She also runs Heart Ally Books, LLC, an indie publishing firm.
Interested in learning more from Lisa? Sign up for her newsletter or check out her school, No Stress Writing Academy, where she teaches social media, organization, technical skills, and marketing for authors!
Top image by Deleyna via Midjourney.
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68 comments on “The Dance of the Em Dash”
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Hahahahahaha....
*ahem*
Happy Birthday, Jenny.
snicker - couldn't resist...
Happy Birthday, Jenny.
I really enjoyed this birthday ball. So inventive.
Thanks, Vivienne!
Dagnabbit — made me laugh. Lots. Against my will!
Woohoo!
Love it!
I'm so glad, Sylvie! Thanks.
I laughed out loud at this! Saving it for future laughs.Thanks!
Brilliant! Delightful! Fun!
Thanks, Ane!
Absolutely brilliant, Lisa! An English prof's delight. 😀
Yay, Marian! That makes me happy.
LOL! What a birthday bash!
Two exclamation points? More appropriate and expected in social media to suggest warmth and appreciation.
Happy Birthday, Jenny!
Rhonda - Jenny gets all the exclamation points!
Happy birthday, Jenny!
Lisa, this was a fun read.
AI hasn't cut in on my writing dance floor. I rather use it at the bar of imagination. One scotch, neat, and we're off to 'maybe ever-land'. 🙂
Tools of the time--we'll learn how to use them properly ... eventually.
Jennifer - so true! The tools keep changing so fast!
Lisa, this is great! I love how you wove punctuation, AI, and Writerly goings on with a dance.
Happy birthday, Jenny!
Thanks, Ellen. Ever since I read an article that recommended people edit errors into their prose, I knew I needed to do this one.
Love this! 😆
Happy Birthday, Jenny!
I'm so glad, Cheryl. It was a lot of fun to write.
Hahaha! This was fun and absolutely brilliant!
Happy Birthday, Jenny!!!
Thanks, Darynda!
Bravo!
Em dash takes a bow and gets shoved aside by a jealous semicolon. Thanks, Barb.
Marvelous!
I think this shows how fruitless are our obsessive efforts to analyze and parse such things to death. Use the punctuation, damn it, as needed!
Exactly it, Sally!
Thanks for inviting us to the party.
As a freelancer, I see a lot of jobs for training AI. I don't understand why anyone would take them, unless desperate for the money. You'd be training your replacement.
Happy birthday to Jenny.
... or your typewriter, Debbie. It is a fascinating dance.
Very clever—clever in that it was appropriate and goodly written—goodly as in, “Wow, I wish I could write this goodly, but I’m too lazy to improve myself … besides, I write pretty goodly already—not ‘pretty’ in a beauty sense, you know—the other way.
Anyway, Happy Birthday to Jenny.
Ha! Love it, Bob. Very dashing comment!
Thanks, Lisa—I see what you did there.
(wink)
(nod)
I was a fan of the em dash before AI was even available. If Chat GPT uses the em dash overmuch, it probably learned that from me.
Happy birthday, Jenny.
Jonah - that's it exactly. It learned em dash and other power tools from us.
Lisa, you're a genius -- and Jenny's a saint. May she have the best birthday ever and even more success. She certainly deserves it (!)
Awww thanks, Brad. This was fun to do and definitely fit the theme of Jenny's Birthday!
Delightful, Lisa. Wow. Elegant--captivating--hilarious.
(!!!)
Why thank you, Jeanne! Nicely dashed comment.
Happy birthday, Jen (as I giggle)!
And ... yes! AI has messed with my editing process. Where I write about faith, it doesn't like it. Where I write a full stop, it I get an em dash. Where I write an em dash, it gives me a full stop. Where I write a sentence which makes sense in my head, it rewrites a pffffft sentence (and an em dash, useful, is a lazy comma or full stop if overused). Where I write pages of research into my work, it sums it up in a few paragraphs which makes my characters look like they way too smart or way too stupid.
I give it editing directions. Like ... no colons, watch the semi-colons, stop using the words such as muttering. Use the CMoS. Since AI never remembers from one day to another I have to repeat everything. It's a lot easier to check and then KEEP my words. Do I still use it? Yes, it catches a lot of my spelling/grammar mistakes. I have 2 AI programs to check the CMoS but I found that every AI algorithm goes off ChatGPT ...! And then ... they charge you. So I dropped all of 'em and I use ChatGPT with great care. For simple editing, I don't need to pay. It doesn't keep the memories from the previous chat but it keeps the money in my pocket. Also last but not least--do not humanize AI.
But em dashes and semi-colons are preferred by my publisher, so I just go with the flow there.
Let it dance and make you laugh! Then, get onto the writing process and pick up a dictionary & thesaurus!
Well said, Claire. There are ways to train an individualized version, but there's a lot to be said for keeping money in your pocket!
Thanks for a morning laugh! And happy birthday, Jenny!
You're very welcome, Sabine!
This is a freaking fabulous birthday present! Seriously, made me laugh. Like total out-loud gigglefest over: "Somewhere, a comma faints."
I can't tell you how much AI has pissed me off with the em-dashes. I have loved them ever since the first time I read a Julia Quinn novel. (That spicy snappy Bridgerton dialogue didn't happen all by itself.)
And now I get the side-eye whenever I use them. It's terribly annoying.
Jenny, it'll pass. It's a phase. Once the AI haters realize that REAL writers USE em-dashes, they'll chill. Or not.
Happy birthday!
Thanks again! I absolutely love this post.
Squee! My work here is done! (Dances off into the shadows...)
That was fun! Thanks, Lisa.
Happy birthday, Jenny!
You're very welcome, Deb!
Thanks, Deb!
“Somewhere, a comma faints.” And, “Ai watches”...
This post is hilarious and priceless.
Well done, Lisa! And, Happy Birthday, Jenny!
What a great gift.
Dang, autocorrect. Changing my AI to Ai. Grrr.
Isn't autocorrect ... unhelpful? I will not even tell you what mine decides to switch things to these days. I've found myself screaming, "WHEN have I *EVER* used that word???" LOL
Thanks Diana! Glad it gave you joy.
I call it 'autoincorrect' for a reason...
Thanks for the laugh. Happy birthday Jen.
I once got accused of being too 'literary' because I use semicolons.
Barb - alas, the poor semicolons get such a bad rap. I say we bring 'em back; they're useful!
Brilliant. Comedic. Masterful.
Just like you and Jenn!
Loved every well-chosen word and every perfectly cadenced sentence!
Thanks, Margie! You are the queen of cadence! I'm convinced that AI is copying you!
Right? This post is a masterpiece. And like Lisa said, we owe a portion of that to YOU!
I love this!
As a professional copywriter, I was so proud of my command of the em-dash. Then, AI came along. At first, I was indignant. I'd keep using it no matter what. Then, a few months ago, disaster struck: my boss asked that I stop using it for fear that our clients might mistake my beautifully hand-crafted copy for AI slop.
Reluctantly (VERY reluctantly), I had to start using a simple dash in place of its glorious sibling. Dang it, AI, you ruin everything!
Nicholas, and isn't it fascinating that "AI slop" can be applied to beautiful hand-crafted copy? Meaning it probably isn't slop to begin with. You may have to switch to semi-colons for a while! Or the undervalued periods. I do hope that we can eventually reclaim the emdash!
I love the em dash.
Happy Birthday, Jenny! We have the same birthday!
Thanks for reading, Denise! Em dashes rule!
I didn't know that, Denise!! Cheers to Nov 10th...it's us, and the Marine Corps.
Yes--a recruiter tried to use the Marine's day as a tactic to get me to enlist. lol
Happy Birthday! Very funny...and oh so true. I love em dashes and have used them for years. Now I'm scared they're going to be 'used' against me.
First off. Happy birthday Jenny. I hope you had the most wonderful day filled with everything that brings you joy.
Second, Lisa, that was brilliant. Good job. You know my adventures with AI.